people wirthling is following
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latest comics from people wirthling is following 
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| I think you'll really enjoy the European trip we have planned for you, Mr. Jones. Your flight will depart from Newark and land at Heathrow Airport in London. Then— | |
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| I'm sorry, you said the flight will depart from...? | |
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| It was the only way to be sure. | |
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| I'm surprised we haven't seen more famous people here in Cancun. | |
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| Wait a minute, those two look familiar. | |
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| Having a drink over there? Oh yeah, I think she's Bonnie Parker. And he's ... | |
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| ... Adolf Hitler! I wonder what they're doing here. | |
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| They must be on vacation. | |
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| I don't always use lube when I impale fleshlings, but when I do I choose Pennzoil. | |
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| I don't always generate gravitons, but when I do I choose rotor turbines. | |
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| We don't always sucky sucky, but when we do, we chose.... Um...... Errrr.... | |
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| Don't look at me, I got nothing. | |
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| Yeah, but I was so bad at it, I had to become an administrator instead. | |
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| I'll bet you had a lot of kids who looked up to you. | |
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| Only because I was taller. | |
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| I need to talk to you about coming in late every day. | |
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| And you're supposed to be here at 8:00. | |
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| You're never here before 8:30. | |
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| I don't have a ****ty job and boss. | |
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| One more look and then I'll send it in. | |
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| Dear Abby, I'll be traveling to Europe next month, and I hear you need an adapter to use American devices over there. | |
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Things you never see in the newspaper
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| My question for you is where can I find a European adapter for my butt plug? | |
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| Billy Joel surprised Queens, New York high school seniors when he appeared at their graduation. | |
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| The 64 year-old performer sang two songs and took questions from the students. | |
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| Among the questions were, "Who are you?" And, "Why are you singing at our graduation?" | |
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| Oh my god! You're baseball commissioner Bud Selig, aren't you? | |
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| Listen. I would really like to take you home right now and feel you inside my *****. Will you come with me? | |
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| Sure. Do you really think I'm that hot? | |
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| Are you kidding? Hell no! I just think you're the ultimate douche bag! | |
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| And there's this white whale. | |
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| The Prophet Mohammed (Peace Be Upon Him) would never approve of terrorism. Islam is a peaceful religion! | |
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| Oh yeah, well I talked to the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Praise His Noodly Appendage) and he told me you're full of crap, LOL. | |
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| BEHOLD, MORTAL! IT IS I, THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER | |
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| Jesus Christ! Uh, I mean... what do you ask of me, my Lord? | |
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| SHUT THE **** UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID PRETEND RELIGION ALREADY | |
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