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Early 30s, white, and incredibly boring. Beautiful wife, two kids, no sleep.

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by wutangtony
Our children have been corrupted.
My daddy was watching the Super Bowl, and then Janet Jackson showed her titty.
I am but a young impressionable little girl. Now, I feel I must show my titty.
Our higher order primate pets have been corrupted.
My owner was watching the Super Bowl, and then a Budweiser commercial revealed to me that I can talk and have sex with human women.
I am but an impressionable young chimp. Now, I no longer yearn for bananas, but for hot, unprotected sex with slutty human women.
When will America return to Jesus?
. . . now, I constantly yearn for the sweet, sweet smell of horse farts . . .
. . . I yearn for a small dog to bite me in the genitals repeatedly . . .
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