people xxxenon is following

BigFrank105, bobertd3rd, boinky33, cpausti, crabby, Cre8tive13, DexX, DrMorton, evil_d, Externalization, FinnNYC, Fuj, Humpenstein, IHMAWTD, Injokester, ivytheplant, lildeucecoup, LittleRocker, LuckyGuess, mandingo, matclarke, mmyers, nightowl, shank, SilverPhoenix, Sly_guy99, squidrabies, themushroom, tomoleary, umfumdisi, v, Zimri

latest comics from people xxxenon is following

by evil_d
My son is five years old now, and let you tell you, I'm having some real trouble with his PENIS.
I'm sorry, his...?
PENIS! Stands for Pre-Education Necessary Information Survey. I have to fill it out before he can start kindergarten.
That's terrible.
You're telling me! And if you think my son's PENIS is hard, you should have seen my daughter's!

by evil_d
Go get the rocket launcher; it's right around that corner. There's nobody there.
>KABOOM!!< You are dead.
WHAT?? That guy was not there before! He's hacking the game! Dude, tell him his mom's a *****. I checked her file and she totally is.
yor mom = *****
Jim, you're the worst guardian angel ever. Clean out your desk.
Your mom's a *****!

by evil_d
Hey, barkeep. Give me an Irish Car Bomb.
Sorry, but this is the UK and that's really offensive. I can make you a "Twin Towers", though.
What's that?
I fill two tall shot glasses with liquor, then set them on fire and knock them over.
That's stupid. I wouldn't pay for that.
Well, you could always make Iraq pay for it.

by evil_d
In the dystopian near future, motorcycle gangs roam the highways, while the police can't even afford to hire janitors.
If only people didn't spend all of their money on car customization, eh? Well, I'm off to act ridiculous for an hour so you'll know how scary I am.
Those thugs killed my partner and I'm... upset! There's only one thing to do now: quit and go on vacation with my family.
Let's visit scenic Dangerousville and split up a lot!
Those thugs killed my family and I'm... bothered! There's only one thing to do now: sink to their level.
I like that moral, but not as much as I liked my right foot.

by evil_d
Ah, now there's a mighty fine-looking castle.
What—? Where'd it go?
Goddamn castle rustlers!

Your gallbladder is divided into three parts.
by evil_d, 9-04-14

by DrMorton
Darling I have to come clean about something. Our marriage is based on a lie.
I´m really Tor Torkildsen, Norwegian novelist and seaman. I faked my death in 2006, and took the false identity of Bruce Green, loving husband and accountant.
What are you talking about? It´s not possible! We´ve been married and living in this house for 27 years!
Now I remember. I´m really Bruce Green. I killed Torkildsen to steal his identity and escape this miserable marriage. After the killing I forgot to go ahead with it. I should quit drinking Akvavit.

by evil_d
Today's game continues a big rivalry between you and the home team, Jesse. Rumor is you've devised a new play for the occasion.
That's right. See, we hike the ball to the quarterback, then he deflates it and eats it. Then he walks to the end zone and craps it out.
Then we leave the stadium, find a phone book, look up all the home team's grandmas, go to their houses, and crap on them.
Uh... and what do you call this new play?
The Aristocrats!

by DrMorton
Oh my god, it´s Jesus! I´m taking a dump next to Jesus! How do you behave while taking a dump next to Jesus? I must not misbehave! I might end up in´hell!
Eww, that looks tacky. Turn around, Melvin, turn around!
Oh ****! That guy saw me taking a dump. That´s not good for my divine image. I have to ask him to keep quiet about this.
Ah, screw it! I´ll just send him to hell...

by evil_d
Boy, you know, I thought having total strangers follow me around and film my intimate moments and half-assed bar fights would be really fulfilling, but it turns out it's not.
Let's cancel this reality show, guys. I don't need the money badly enough to sacrifice my dignity.

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