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latest comics from people xxxenon is following

Fine, fine!! We'll bring your cat some Jameson!
Well it's a little late for that now.
by evil_d, 4-22-14

by Humpenstein
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as infinity.
It is the middleground between light and shadow, between science and superstition; and it lies between the pit of Man's fears, and the summit of knowledge.
This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call...the Abe Vigoda Zone.

by evil_d
CUT!! Good job, everybody. This will be the best Law & Order episode ever. Abe, you were great as the dead guy. You can get up now.
Uh, sir... Mr. Vigoda isn't moving.
What commitment! What thoroughness! Can you believe what a great actor this guy is?
Best we can tell, he played such a convincing dead body that even his own heart believed it.
SUCH a great actor!!

by Injokester
Chen, the CEO is getting married on Saturday and he's asked for you to attend.
Wow, what an incredible honour.
Something like that. Have you still got your 'Tin Man' costume from that Wizard of Oz play?
I suspect he may have asked you to tie some tin cans to the back of the car.
He did, but I suggested this as his gift from me.

by Injokester
You know, I really wish I could grow a beard, but it comes in all patchy.
Actually in my culture a man without a beard is basically a woman.
Oh? What culture is that?
This one.

by evil_d
Thank you, NBC, for believing that a mediocre sketch comic could be a great late-night host. I don't know how you knew, but you were right.
Thank you, David Letterman, for always coming off like a bored school­teacher counting the days until summer. May you hold onto your timeslot forever.
And finally: thank you, Jay Leno, for not eating a vegetable in the past 50 years. With any luck, you'll have a heart attack before you can—
Get out the chair, mother****er!! Leno's back!!

by evil_d
Dear Aunt Linda: Thank you for the twenty dollars. I'll be sure to think of you as I play the first third of the new Battlefield game.
Dear Grandpa: Five dollars?? I'm sure when you were a kid this would have bought a year's supply of candy, but today it doesn't buy the 'T' in Toblerone.
Billy, I read some of your thank-you notes and we need to talk.
Dear Mom: Fifty bucks? If you want me to move out, you'll have to do better than that.

by Injokester
That did not go well, should we lower the difficulty this time?
No, easy mode is for babies.
We can't win from here, should we abort?
No, abortion is for babies.

by evil_d
Well, this is a fine mess we're in.
A flesh-eating virus spreads through the country... 99% of the population become the living dead...
This'll be a real black mark on your legacy as president, Barack.
Don't you try to pin this on me, John. I tried to give them free health care, but nooooo....

by evil_d
Former president William Howard Taft! You're... actually looking a lot better since you died. How'd you lose the weight?
It's simple! I'm on the Zom-Fast diet. I have a brain for breakfast, a brain for lunch, and then a sentient dinner.
I mean sensible dinner.
So, what are you doing later?

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