people xxxenon is following

BigFrank105, bobertd3rd, boinky33, cpausti, crabby, Cre8tive13, DexX, DrMorton, evil_d, Externalization, FinnNYC, Fuj, Humpenstein, IHMAWTD, Injokester, ivytheplant, lildeucecoup, LittleRocker, LuckyGuess, mandingo, matclarke, mmyers, nightowl, shank, SilverPhoenix, Sly_guy99, squidrabies, themushroom, tomoleary, umfumdisi, v, Zimri

latest comics from people xxxenon is following

by DrMorton
Darling I have to come clean about something. Our marriage is based on a lie.
I´m really Tor Torkildsen, Norwegian novelist and seaman. I faked my death in 2006, and took the false identity of Bruce Green, loving husband and accountant.
What are you talking about? It´s not possible! We´ve been married and living in this house for 27 years!
Now I remember. I´m really Bruce Green. I killed Torkildsen to steal his identity and escape this miserable marriage. After the killing I forgot to go ahead with it. I should quit drinking Akvavit.

by evil_d
Today's game continues a big rivalry between you and the home team, Jesse. Rumor is you've devised a new play for the occasion.
That's right. See, we hike the ball to the quarterback, then he deflates it and eats it. Then he walks to the end zone and craps it out.
Then we leave the stadium, find a phone book, look up all the home team's grandmas, go to their houses, and crap on them.
Uh... and what do you call this new play?
The Aristocrats!

by DrMorton
Oh my god, it´s Jesus! I´m taking a dump next to Jesus! How do you behave while taking a dump next to Jesus? I must not misbehave! I might end up in´hell!
Eww, that looks tacky. Turn around, Melvin, turn around!
Oh ****! That guy saw me taking a dump. That´s not good for my divine image. I have to ask him to keep quiet about this.
Ah, screw it! I´ll just send him to hell...

by evil_d
Boy, you know, I thought having total strangers follow me around and film my intimate moments and half-assed bar fights would be really fulfilling, but it turns out it's not.
Let's cancel this reality show, guys. I don't need the money badly enough to sacrifice my dignity.

by evil_d
Tough loss today, Jerry. Where do you think you went wrong?
Well, do you remember the part where I threw the ball to the guy on the other team, and then we couldn't tackle him, and he got a touchdown?
Yeah, I remember that part.
We shouldn't have done that part.

by DrMorton
Ah, Jesus! Second coming already due?
Hey, listen to me! How am I supposed to tempt you if you don´t listen?
Hmm. The old man´s marketing trick of having him come back as a hipster might just backfire. A Chvrches back stage pass should be enough to pull him over.
Will there be a tapas buffet?

by Injokester
Excuse me, could you possibly direct me to the train station?
Yeah, go down that way, turn left at the Starbucks,
Then left again at the McDonalds, then right at the next McDonalds, then right after the Starbucks on this side of the street, not the one on the other side.
Oh, so it's right by the public library?
The what?

by Injokester
Hi, do you happen to have all 4 books from Jack Vance's Planet of Adventure series,
But with covers in the same style?
We actually do, though 2 of them are in really poor condition and 2 are practically new.
Maybe you could damage the two good ones so they're consistent?

by Injokester
Chen, thank you for coming. I wanted to talk to you about the policy regarding the employee fridge.
Are you aware that food must be eaten by the person whose name is on it, and only by that person?
Yes ma'am, I'm aware of that policy, I actually wrote it.
Excellent. I put a jar of expired mayonnaise mixed with centipedes in the vegetable fresher with your name on it.
I knew I should have worded that policy better.

by Injokester
Chen, I'm Isabella, the boss' new personal assistant.
Oh, that's the role I've been fulfilling. Am I being moved?
No, you're the boss' professional assistant. Your job is to assist in his professional duties from day to day.
Oh. So where do you fit in?
My job is to assist him in tormenting you and generally making your life difficult.

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