people xxxenon is following

BigFrank105, bobertd3rd, boinky33, cpausti, crabby, Cre8tive13, DexX, DrMorton, evil_d, Externalization, FinnNYC, Fuj, Humpenstein, IHMAWTD, Injokester, ivytheplant, lildeucecoup, LittleRocker, LuckyGuess, mandingo, matclarke, mmyers, nightowl, shank, SilverPhoenix, Sly_guy99, squidrabies, themushroom, tomoleary, umfumdisi, v, Zimri

latest comics from people xxxenon is following

by evil_d
7 am
I need seventy 2x4s and some wood screws. I'm building a deck!
8 am
Okay, turns out I need a bunch more stuff. Some landscape stakes, wood glue, primer, sealer, a saw, and a lot more lumber in different sizes.
9 am
What do you need now?
The phone number of a good contractor.

by evil_d

by evil_d
I asked you to make something that I could award to the winner of our pinewood derby.
But what I unwrapped, in front of the whole troop and their parents, was a small statue of what appeared to be a feline's hindquarters.
Is that a problem?
Problem?? It's a catasstrophy!

by evil_d
Sorry, your password must be at least seven characters long, and must contain at least one of each of these: a lowercase letter, an uppercase letter, a number, a punctuation mark,
an emoji, a kanji, a kireji, a hieroglyph, a space, a backspace, an onomatopoeia, a chemical formula, a catchy tune,
a line from one of the lost plays of Aristophanes, Donald Trump's adjusted gross income for any year, a verse of scripture from the one true religion,

by evil_d
Son! Someone hacked my face book again!
I keep telling you, Dad, this wouldn't happen if you used stronger passwords. You can't keep using "123456" for everything.
One two three four five SIX? Look at mister fancy pants over here!

by evil_d
What ho, Secundus!
Well met, Streptococcus! Are you going down to watch the crucifixions today?
Oh, they've outlawed that barbarous practice. Replaced it with something more humane.
Please just crucify me.

by evil_d
What ho, Publius!
Well met, Toysrus! Are you going to the Colosseum today to watch the lions fight?
I heard they couldn't get any lions. Had to use substitutes.
Substitutes? Like what?

by evil_d
We're making a new car that's a knock-off of the Ford Fiesta, but we need a name for it.
I've got it!
My wife and I are looking for something adventurous. Something you wouldn't expect a boring couple like us to be seen in.
Then you should try a Kia Party! It's a little bit risky, but very affordable and a whole lotta fun!
Will there be enough room for all of our friends?
Absolutely! The more people you fit in your Kia Party, the better!

by evil_d
I've just come from cleaning up a terrible mess down at the docks! A xebec carrying xylidine was capsized!
Did you cause this accident yourself, Captain Scrabble?
Well I—that is—but it was worth so many points!!
Wreaking havoc for your own personal gain! You can bet there will be consequences for this!
I'm thinking Secretary of Commerce.

by umfumdisi
Ask your doctor about Xanax. Warning, prescription Xanax may cause gas with oily discharge, may discharge you from the military,
may charge your credit cards to their limits, may cause a rhinoceros to charge, may excite electrons in a gas discharge tube,
may even charge you with murder, oh, and may cause temporary discomfort or death.
Now they tell me...

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