oh, and a variation on that last one.

CC 229: Girl Tourette's Goes on a Spelling Bee by possums 1-16-04

In the final rounds of a spelling bee... This is it. My final moment in the spelling bee. If I don't get this right, The bald guy will win. I can't screw up now! Trina, please spell "Hatchet!" Why don't you go F-U-C-K Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F, you shit-faced ass juice!? No, I'm sorry, but that answer is incorrect. Piece of S-H-I-T. Take that, ya dumb B-I-T-C-H!

It's a sickness by ObiJo 1-17-04

I just got back from a job interview that didn't go so well. You didn't set someone on fire again, did you?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Obi... that was great. In a twisted way.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

I am CLEARLY in a very warped mood today...

CC229: Misunderstanding No. 245 by UnknownEric 1-17-04

Tonight's the night, Clarence. When I give myself to you. Holy shit, that's the hairiest pussy I've ever seen! OH MY GOD! I HATE YOU!!! What? I can't comment on Mr. Whiskers?

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I has a flavor!

Ah... I like this one. The whole theme of this contest is haunting me.

Donkey Poetry by possums 1-17-04

Poetry night at the "Whistle and Crap Pub," Hoboken, New Jersey. SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP, ETC. LITTLE DONKEY. LITTLE DONKEY. WHERE IS YOU BE? I IS RIGHT HERE. I IS UP IN A TREE. SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP!!! AND NOW. FOR MY LAST POEM, I ARE LIKE TO DO A READING OF EDGAR ALLAN POE'S "The Raven." "THE Raven?" WHAT KIND OF ENGLISH ARE YOU THE SPEAK?! DAMN.

CC 229: They're too busy singing. by habnem 1-17-04

Mickey? It's me, Peter. Get Davy and Michael together--we're going to the movies. Oh yeah? What'll we be seeing, then? Haven't you heard? They've finally made a movie about my life! Fantastic! We'll meet you there! _________Ice Cube in________ _________T O R Q U E________ Ahh... perhaps I read the ad wrong.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

CC 229: Where are they now? by habnem 1-17-04

All my life, all I wanted was to be famous, and sure enough, for a couple of years, all of America knew who I was. But foolishly, I spent all my money on weed, and then I got fired. Now, here I am, a broken, empty husk of a man. So sad. Could you say it, though? Once? For me? Dude, you're gettin' a Dell! Awesome. Are my fries up yet?

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

CC 229: Trials and Strip-ulations 1 by Xuanwu 1-17-04

Now that I've signed up for a Strip Creator account, I can finally make my own comics! Comic posted. Yes! Now people will finally appreciate my sense of humor! Member rating: 0. Comment: "You suck!" ...Or not.

CC 229: Trials and Strip-ulations 2 by Xuanwu 1-17-04

Comics posted. All right, one bad rating is fine. After all, I'm just getting the hang of this. I'm sure I'll get better feedback as time goes on. Member rating: 0. Comment: "MEH!" Well... I guess that's better than "you suck." Maybe things are turning around? Member rating: 0. Comment: "BAH!" ...Or maybe people don't think I'm worth the effort to condemn...

CC 229: Trials and Strip-ulations 3 by Xuanwu 1-17-04

Comic posted. All right. One more try before I move on. I'm sure this time I'm funny. Member rating: 0. Comment: "Slightly funnier than a thorned poo log!" Gah! How can I rid myself of such negativity? AHA! It is - No! Just... No.

Why Premarital Sex Is Necessary by niteowl 1-17-04

I'm so glad we waited until tonight, our wedding night, to have sex. Yes, it'll make it a very special night indeed. We'll do it for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Later... ugh...umph...hey honey, I'm having a hard time finding the hole...HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DOWN THERE? OH MY GOD, YOU'RE A MAN! Yes dear, I am. I thought you knew. NO I DIDN'T, SINCE YOU NEVER LET ME GET PAST FIRST BASE! NOT A BOOB GRAB, NO FINGERS, NOTHING! YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS MARRIAGE IS NULL AND VOID SINCE YOU'RE A MAN! HAHA, I'M OUTTA HERE! Not so fast. Apparently you were so preoccupied with getting laid, you forgot that we came to Massachusetts to get married.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC 229: Damned "Clone Panel" button... by lukket 1-18-04

Let's see. A new CC. Cool. I'm going to win, I can feel it already.. "a character will have an event happen that they've been waiting to happen for a long time. And then when it does, said "character" will somehow screw it up" Let's see. A new CC. Cool. I'm going to win, I can feel it already.. "a character will have an event happen that they've been waiting to happen for a long time. And then when it does, said "character" will somehow screw it up" Let's see. A new CC. Cool. I'm going to win, I can feel it already.. "a character will have an event happen that they've been waiting to happen for a long time. And then when it does, said "character" will somehow screw it up"

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troelsea at gmail dot com

CC 229: Sleeping with the fishes... by lukket 1-18-04

This is your big chance. Tony Vicente owns most of the night clubs in Vegas, and he will be watching tonight! Don't screw it up! Don't worry. I can handle it. Isn't the mafia just pathetic!? I think they commit crime because they aren't clever enough to get a proper job! Your place or my place, sweetie? I didn't know that it was supposed to be taken literally

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troelsea at gmail dot com

rowdy by boinky33 6-16-03

SPRING BREAK!!!!

another winner

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 229: Idol Hands Are The Devil's Workshop by BigEvilDan 1-18-04

As an American Idol finalist, is there anything you want to say to the audience before voting starts? I'd like to thank everyone who has wasted time voting for what is basically an overhyped karaoke contest. What?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Better Than If He Had a forumusers Character by dcomposed 1-18-04

Hey, hotchick50187, still want to hook up? Not now that I've read your comics. What? Why? Bye Rabid. I'm so handsome. I wonder why she doesn't like me now?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

CC 229: He So Horny by MaxPayne 1-18-04

I was wondering... *sigh* sucky sucky, right? You know I'm so SICK AND TIRED of jerks like you stereotyping my people! Get bent! No, no, nothing like that. I was just wondering if you would want to maybe go see a movie with me or somethin... Oh, oh! I'm sorry about that earlier. I'd love to go to a movie with you! Great! Me rove you rong time! What time should I... umm... hello?

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

Are you being sarcastic?

Rabid, the last one is (obviously) especially for you.

CC 229: Master of Anticipation by MikeyG 1-19-04

Oh, man, this is gonna be great! I've never had sex with a virgin before! Please be gentle, I've never done this before. Oh, man, this is gonna be great! I've never had sex with a virgin before! I said please be gentle, not 'do nothing'. Oh, man, this is gonna be great! I've never had sex with a virgin before! Have YOU ever done this before?

CC 229: Mater-Baiting by MikeyG 1-19-04

Please be gentle. I'm about to have sex with a virgin! Awesome! Two Hours Later... Yes! Yes! Oh my GOD! This isn't as good as I thought it would be... Another Two Hours Later... I'm really sore now. Why haven't you finished yet? I dunno, could it be the EIGHT layers of condoms you made me wear before you'd even KISS me?

CC 229: It's the Little Things in Life... by MikeyG 1-19-04

I've waited for the right person for this. I think he's the right person. I love you, hon. I'm glad I waited for you. He's so sweet, and I've never been so in love. I'm ready for this! When is he going to start? Oh, baby! I love you SOOO much! Hey, not to rush this beautiful experience, but are you going to put it in or what? Put it in? I've been fucking you for the last five minutes!

CC 229: Meet me halfway, across the Guy by MikeyG 1-19-04

WANGS! Rabid_Weasle: DONGS! WANGS! dcomposed: DONGS! Um... Hey. Uhhh....what's up? Um...nothing. Yeah. Uh...what's up?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

you know, if you wore 8 layers of condoms, the friction between them would make them break apart. Especially after four hours.

CC 229: Godfather Physics by possums 1-19-04

Michael Corleone and Kay Adams on a date... So my father makes this guy an offer he can't refuse. He says, "It'll either be your brains or your signature on that contract!" Ha ha ha!!! Fuck. What the fuck are you talking about? I thought your dad was a Doctor!

It's double funny because Al Pacino is so short.

Too bad there's no Truth Award in CCs, this would get my vote.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC 229: Basically the deal is I am a part-time scientist by allenhenderson 1-19-04

Now giant chicken, step into my shrinking device, and return TO NORMAL SIZE!! And then Yes at long last I've done it. I've shrunk my cock! I've permanently SHRUNK MY COCK!! You've also left the intercom on to the main lobby. It's so small! My god!

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www.allenhenderson.com

You're a total, complete, extreme idiot. Shut up.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Usually I'm the one who gets that kind of reaction.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

You're a total, complete, extreme idiot. Shut up.

yep.