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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC265: A stripper's nightmare

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NeoVid
Stripcreator Irregular

Member Rated:

CC 265: nightmares by NeoVid
11-17-04
All right! I just had a comic idea! Better get it made right away...
...I'm sure I'll remember what it was any minute now.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

11-17-04 1:10pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare I by CHUBBY
11-17-04
There you are! C'mon! You're going to be late for the show!
Show! What show?
What show, he asks. Honestly, I think you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached, Mr. Forgetful. Let's go.
It'll be faster if we take my spaceship.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare II by CHUBBY
11-17-04
OK, Mr. Absent-Minded Professor, we don't have much time. Let me help you get your clothes off.
Uh, is that necessary?
Well, only if you want to put on the costume I've slaved over for you for the last six weeks, Mr. Ungrateful. OK, off with the coat.
Uh, you know I'm straight, right?
OK, Mr. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. But you know we have a don't ask, don't tell policy here, right?
You won't out me, will you?

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare III by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Wait a minute. This is crazy! I can't do a show! I haven't rehearsed! I don't know the lines! I don't even know what the show is!
Oh, that's just butterflies, Mr. First-nighter. Don't worry about a thing. This company has been doing "The Importance of Being Earnest" for a long time, and they'll help you.
"Earnest"? Hey, I love that play! You know, I bet I can fake my way through it.
See, Mr. Worried-over-nothing?
"What a fearful liar you are, Jack." This is actually going to be fun! I've always wanted to play Algy.
You're Lady Bracknell.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare IV by CHUBBY
11-17-04
FIVE MINUTES!
AAAAAAAH!
What's the matter with you? You act like you've never seen a stage manager before. You better get Matt into costume.
There! It's absolutely perfect!
AAAAAAAH!

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare V by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Where are you going, Mr. Temperamental? Mr. Divan?
It was bad enough that I've had no rehearsal. Bad enough I have to play a female role. I'm not wearing this ridiculous costume. I'm off like a prom dress. Nothing can make me do your stupid play.
GRRRRRRRRRRR!
"You were FOUND? In a HANDBAG?"
Overture and beginners!

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

11-17-04 1:55pm (new)
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CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare VI by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Hey, you're that semi-creepy lady from work! What are you doing here?
Always joking around. I'm playing Gwendolyn, your daughter.
My DAUGHTER?
Yeah, ain't it funny? Here I am playing your daughter and I'm actually OLDER than you.
Must..... remain..... quiet.....
By maybe, a week, maybe two.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare VII by CHUBBY
11-17-04
MYERS!
Jeepers! The Boss! I'm screwed!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
Sorry, sir. Spankling-- only it wasn't really Spankling-- kidnapped me from work and we flew here in his spaceship and he put this costume on me and then the stage manager, who's a dog, but not real--
IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR YOUR TAP NUMBER!
Now I'm REALLY screwed.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare VIII by CHUBBY
11-17-04
What are you doing in the wrong costume? You are so fucking fired.
Spankling put it on me. And then the dog, who's really a stage manager--
Spankling is so fucking fired. And the Dog-Slash-Production Stage Manager as well.
Uh, I don't think you can fire them, sir. They don't technically work for you.
OK then. You're rehired. Now take that off.
How does a man get out of this chicken outfit? I always wanted to say that.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare IX by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Whew! Feels good to get that off! Thanks, sir.
Here, put your jacket back on.
Oh, I can just wear my street clothes? Cool. I--
One more thing. Wait there.
Perfect.
AAAAH!

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare X by CHUBBY
11-17-04
I can't do it. I just can't.
Listen to me, Ruby. You're going out on that stage an unknown. But you're coming back a star.
All I really want to do is go back to Allentown, Pennsylvania!
*WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

11-17-04 2:00pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XI by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Where am I?
Duh, Mr. Rand McNally. This is the green room.
Did you hear the people out there, Spankling-but-not-really-Spankling? They love me! This could be a whole new thing for me!
C'mon, Mr. Living-in-the-past-with-nothing-but-an-old-scrapbook-full-of-faded-memories. It's dead. Bury it. Put on your tap shoes, Mr. I'm-always-in-the-wrong-costume.
I don't dance.
I won't ask you.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XII by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Scene Six! Places! Matt, where's your prop? Props!
Hey, "Anything Goes"! I can so DO this!
Here you are, sweetheart.
Crabby? Hey, I can't-- wait-- I'm allergic to--
Meow.
--cats.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XIII by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Scene Six! Curtain going up!
Thanks for chasing away that cat.
"Pssst..... 'In olden days, a glimpse of stocking.....'"
"Pssst..... 'In olden days, a glimpse of stocking.....'"
WE KNOW THE FUCKING LINE! WHO SAYS IT?

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XIV by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Let's go.
We can't.
Why not?
We're waiting for Godot.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XV by CHUBBY
11-17-04
*APPLESAUCE* *APPLESAUCE* *APPLESAUCE*
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Oh, there you are, Mr. Whatisitthatwe'relivingforapplauseapplause. One more costume change.
Nothing doing. I'm pooped. Anywho--
Oh, c'mon Mr. Fillintheblank. You could do this one in your sleep.
I DON'T DO DEFAULT COMICS!

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

11-17-04 2:04pm (new)
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CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XVI by CHUBBY
11-17-04
MMYERS, MMYERS, MMYERS,...
Thank you, Cleveland! A Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the woild! Good night Mrs. Calabash, whereever you are!
In honor of your forty-five years of service to the railroad, we are presenting you with these ties.
Huh?
AAAAAAAH!!!
AAAAAAAH!

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XVII by CHUBBY
11-17-04
What's wrong, honey?
Nothing. I just had a weird dream.
What did I tell you about eating those mayonnaise-and-banana-sandwiches before you go to bed? What was the dream about?
It was the same one I always have.
Hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel?
No no, the other one.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XVIII by CHUBBY
11-17-04
What is wrong with you today?
Nothing. I just had a weird dream last night. In fact, you were in it!
Yeah? Was it a sexy dream?
Oh, good heavens, no. It wasn't that bad.
You were in it, too.
Myers, if you don't shut up about your stupid dream and get back to work, you are so fuckin' fired.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XIX by CHUBBY
11-17-04
What's wrong, honey?
Nothing. I just had a weird dream.
Hot dogs--
No, no. The other one.
Go back to sleep. It was all a terrible dream.
It was all a terrible attempt to suck up to the judge.

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XX by CHUBBY
11-17-04
What's wrong, honey?
Nothing. Chubby just did a nineteen-part series about my nightmare.
Hot dogs--
No, no. The other one.
Maybe he's just a fan.
He crossed the border of Fan about twelve strips ago and now he's heading full speed toward Stalkerville.

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

11-17-04 2:09pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

CC 265: mmyers' nightmare XXI by CHUBBY
11-17-04
Don't let this bother you. You'll have nightmares about it.
It was just weird. How did he know????
Ok. I gotta go. Bye.
Bye, hon.
THE BEGINNING??????
Hey, Honey, when did we get a bird?

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

11-17-04 2:13pm (new)
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fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody

Member Rated:

CC 265: One episode in Offissa Pup's recurring nightmare by fpd
11-17-04
Ignatz, I'm very proud of you. Instead of throwing your bricks at Krazy, you've made this brick wall.
Yup. That's what I did.
Goodness. A shower of bricks. Ignatz really loves me.
Why do you even bother, copper? You know you can't hold me in here.
Maybe someday I will. Maybe I'll finally hold you in here this time.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

11-17-04 5:07pm (new)
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niteowl
Level 1 Forum Troll

Member Rated:

Lars Ulrich's Nightmare by niteowl
11-17-04
Metallica's new album has only sold 4 copies this week, but has been downloaded 1,237,465 times on various filesharing programs.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
My God, that was a bad one...
...almost as bad as that nightmare I had back in '87 about cutting off all my hair and writing hit singles.

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

11-17-04 5:33pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

Holy monkey balls... thats alotta posts

11-17-04 5:49pm (new)
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niteowl
Level 1 Forum Troll

Member Rated:

Freefall by niteowl
11-17-04
Aw shit, another nightmare where I'm falling. Thankfully I know I'm dreaming, so maybe I can change things.
I got it, I'll change into a bird and fly away before I hit the ground!
Damn it.

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

11-17-04 6:03pm (new)
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Zaster
Wait for it...

Member Rated:

A Forum User's Nightmare by Zaster
11-18-04
...
I have absolutely nothing sarcastic to say about that.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

11-18-04 6:08am (new)
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not_Scyess
not laughing with you

Member Rated:

CC 265: Near Miss by not_Scyess
11-18-04
I have a horrible feeling of penetrating doom...
I feel that great hardship will sneak up on me from behind, and enter the very core of my being, injecting sticky complications into my life!
Look out! Don't sit on chair; there's a tack on it!
Oh! Thank you, Father O'Toole! That would've hurt!

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

11-18-04 5:12pm (new)
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mmyers
Passing through.

Member Rated:

Get your last minute nightmares, daydreams, and wish lists in. Judging in a few hours.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

11-19-04 6:20am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

CC 265: crabby's nightmare by MikeyG
11-19-04
The Cubs lost again today, making them the biggest joke in the National League. On the way out of the stadium, they were brutally attacked by the NY Yankees.
The NY Mets and the rest of the National League stood guard while a rabid, foaming Derek Jeter tore Moises Alou's limbs off.
*his real name
The only surviving member, Bench Coach Dick Pole* gave this statement: "This happened because crabby didn't love us enough."

I think my comic is funny, and I'll try to sneak a few more in under the radar, but not_Scyess definitely deserves to win.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

11-19-04 6:58am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

CC 265: Michael Jackson's worst nightmare by MikeyG
11-19-04
Breaking News! Scientists have discovered a new virus! They say it's already infected the entire world.
It affects women only, especially their ability to produce. The virus blocks the process in which the female zygote develops into a male.
All children born until a cure is found will be female.

CC 265: Night Mare by MikeyG
11-19-04

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

11-19-04 7:18am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

CC 265: Knight Mare by MikeyG
11-19-04

CC 265: Nick-at-Nite Mare by MikeyG
11-19-04

CC 265: Night Mayor by MikeyG
11-19-04

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

11-19-04 7:29am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

CC 265: James Brolin's Continuing Nightmare by biped
11-19-04
What'cha doin', Jimmy? Thinkin' about how lucky you ahh ta be married ta me -- Bahbra Steisand?

CC 265: Justin Timberlake's Most Wack Nightmare by biped
11-19-04
My new invention can actually measure a person's musical talent! Here, I'll demonstrate it on you, Mr. Timberlake!
Yo, that's wack.

CC 265: Kaufman's Tongue-Biting Nightmare by biped
11-19-04
I can't believe it! I'm actually about to have sex with Jenna Jameson! Oh, me so horny!
...so that's why I left my last boyfriend. The dork was driving me crazy with all his stupid puns.
Errr...
What's the matter? You look all stiff. Did something just come up?
Nnnff...rrggh...
Come on, just blurt it out...it can't be that hard to swallow.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

11-19-04 9:11am (new)
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fzh
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

We've digressed into horse puns! This contest should end soon.

11-19-04 9:12am (new)
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possums
FERN DESTROYER

Member Rated:

CC#: 265: Donkey's Worst Nightmare by possums
11-19-04
IS A GOOD MORNING, BRENDA! I... WAITS THE BE OF A MINUTE. ARE WHERE WE?
Oh! Donkimus! Hath the scorn of a lover's potato, twelfth time the macarena?
NO!!! WHAT IS YOU DO WITH MY WIFE?!?!?!?
I AM your wife, Donkimus! I hath been married to you quoth 25 years!
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Wait! We still have to read "Twelfth Night" and dine on scones!

My Worst Nightmare by possums
11-19-04
Ethan, we need to have a talk.
*whimper, whimper*

A Normal Person's Worst Nightmare by possums
11-19-04

11-19-04 10:01am (new)
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BeNN_MaKK
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

FIRST PANEL
I AM ALONE IN A ROOM
THERE IS ONE WINDOW, VERY HIGH UP, AND SMALL
THERE IS A BOWL OF APPLES

SECOND PANEL
MY FACE IS DECAYED
I BITE INTO AN APPLE AND IT BEGINS TO BLEED

THIRD PANEL
AN ERECT PENIS STICKS OUT OF MY MOUTH
I SEE THERE ARE FLOWERS ON THE END OF THE APPLES LEFT IN THE BOWL
SOMEONE IS LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE WINDOW

---
FABULOUS TREASURE

11-19-04 10:26am (new)
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Zaster
Wait for it...

Member Rated:

I think I once saw a Tool video like that.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

11-19-04 12:17pm (new)
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mmyers
Passing through.

Member Rated:

OK. The contest is closed.
I'm so proud that so many folks showed up for this and made my dreams come true.
4th place: Kaufman with "Sylvester's nightmare"
3rd place: Fdp for "Fantasy to nightmare" and that kick ass Archie series
2nd place: Seattlesque for ""Kafkaesque" and "Farm of fear"
1st place: Scyess for
CC 265: Because... You See... They All Look the Same... by Scyess
11-13-04
I'll just go and get her.
I don't know... I'm a little nervous about this arranged marriage.
What if she's mean? Or sterile? Or can't cook?
Hi!
Oh, great. She's hideous.

Take it away.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

11-19-04 12:39pm (new)
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naz_ghul
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

Dammit! Talk about a few moments late! This is about as surreal and unreal as I felt that day. I realize that combining politics, Tolkien and Star Wars could very well cause psoriasis; proper precautions have been taken.

CC 256: Talkien' About Politics by naz_ghul
11-19-04
November 3rd, 2004. The United Churches, uh, States of America.
The Polls were roaring on the height, The Dems were moaning in the night. The map was red, it flaming spread; The states like torches blazed with light . . .
Welcome to our Theocracy! Please disengage your critical thinking apparatus! You don't need to see his qualifications! This is not the candidate you're looking for!
. . . The bells were ringing in the dale, And Dems looked up with faces pale; Bush’s ire, more fierce than fire, Laid low their hopes and dreams frail . . .
. . . The nation smoked beneath the moon; The Dems, they heard the tramp of doom. They fled their halls to dying fall, beneath his feet, beneath the moon.
*Gasp* Laura! I dreamt a bigoted, belligerent, brain-dead profiteer was elected president!
Don't worry sweetie, you were!

---
The woman said, "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill replied "madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

11-19-04 12:47pm (new)
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Scyess
Official Traveling Menstrual

Member Rated:

Holy shit. I can't believe that one won! I'm more awesome than even I knew.

New contest within the next few days.

---
"Old" is the old new.

11-19-04 5:07pm (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

quote:
OK. The contest is closed.
I'm so proud that so many folks showed up for this and made my dreams come true.
4th place: Kaufman with "Sylvester's nightmare"
3rd place: Fdp for "Fantasy to nightmare" and that kick ass Archie series
2nd place: Seattlesque for ""Kafkaesque" and "Farm of fear"
1st place: Scyess

Auuugggh! Not even an honorable mention? mmyers, you've caused my spleen to palpitate. You and I are on the outs. I am SO not giving you a Rusty Trombone before bed tonight. Tonight, it shall be the Dirty Sanchez.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

11-22-04 6:27am (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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