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Scyess
Official Traveling Menstrual

Member Rated:

New page!

[gone cow tippin' back in 10] by floatingtorsoman
7-20-01
anyhoo.... im gonna go try to get home now. bye,
dont leave me!
and why not?
im sooo lonely...
maybe its the ugly thing doing that for you.
now i told you not to start that ugly shit with me

CC 272: Death Meets His Match ][ by Scyess
1-12-05
You can't shoot me with that. I am Death itself!
Oh, yeah?
Well, this is an interesting situation.
Mortal! I will take your sou-... Hey! What the....?!

CC 272: Death Meets His Match ]|[ by Scyess
1-12-05
You can't be Death! I'm Death!
Oh, yeah? My scythe would like to argue otherwise!
CHOP!!!!
Well, this is an interesting situation.
Well, this is an interesting situation.
Mortal! I will take your sou-... Hey! What the....?!

CC 272: Death Meets His Match |V: The Happy Ending by Scyess
1-12-05
Every time I die, another of me comes to take my soul... and there are three of me here now... which means...
CHOP!!!
Game of bridge, anyone?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Mortal! I will take your sou-... Hey! What the....?!

CC 272: Death Meets His Match: Epilogue by Scyess
1-12-05
Though on second thought, maybe strip poker wasn't such a hot idea.
Flush, jack high! Who's ugly now, bitch?
CRAP! I can't believe I lost with three nines!

Damn, kaufman. As soon as you requested an extension, people stopped entering!

---
"Old" is the old new.

1-12-05 7:04pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

Okay. The first page is taking so long to load on my computer, I'm only going to judge the second page anyway.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

1-12-05 7:30pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

Hahah I don't blame you. I'm on ADSL and it took over 5 minutes =(

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

1-12-05 8:38pm (new)
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possums
FERN DESTROYER

Member Rated:

Untitled by initialgt
4-07-04
Dear Ernesto, your new jeep TJ has just arrived
OMGZORS..lets go pick it up
Where's my Jeep TJ?!!
dude..this is taco bell...we dont serve that here...but here's a free taco
omg lets go back to the future with your TJ ernesto!!
ok..i got my TJ now!! lets go crusing down portage!!

Portage by possums
1-12-05
PORTAGE!!!
WOOOOOOO!!!
ERNESTO!!
EH!
WHAT THE FUCK IS PORTAGE?!?!
FUCK IF I KNOW!!!

Portage 2 by possums
1-12-05
This whole Portage thing is kind of overrated.
Yeah, I know. How about the future like I originally planned?
Sounds chill.
Sweet.
How do you move in that thing, anyway?
FUCK IF I KNOW!!!!

Portage Mach 3 by possums
1-12-05
WHOOOO!! THE FUTURE!!!!
THIS IS VAGUELY CHUGGY!!!!
Fuck! This isn't the future! This is the past! I guess I could deal with this....
Normally, I would, too...
BUT I'VE GOT THIS THING'S DICK UP MY ASS!!!!!!
Shush.

Eh.

1-12-05 9:48pm (new)
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niteowl
Level 1 Forum Troll

Member Rated:

It's though, being a rerporter. by Flash0r
10-08-01
Midden in een grote oorlog
Dit is jeroen Pauw met een speciale nieuwsflits!
We spreken nu met Rzz rzz rahs! Hoe denk jij er over Rzz.. ehm ja...
Aloha, ehm..nou ik denk dat..
Dit was dus het Rtl nieuws van 8 uur...
...ik em maar pleit!

CC 272 : Randomness on Random Comics by niteowl
1-13-05
Whoa. We're still alive!
Quite amazing how you can be blown to bits in a comic and come back to life like nothing ever happened in the next one.
So what did we say to each other in that random comic? I don't speak...whatever language that was.
Well, I said "Why is it that everytime I hit Random Comic it's in a language I don't speak?".
Check it out, we're getting blown up again!
See ya next comic, good buddy!

CC 272 : Stop the Madness! by niteowl
1-13-05
Welcome back!
Thanks! Look at this nice background we got now.
It's soothing.
Yes it is, but it's also disturbing because...
WE KNOW WE'RE ABOUT TO BLOWN TO BITS AGAIN!
WHO WOULDA THUNK IT? AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!

CC 272 : Non-stop Explosive Action! by niteowl
1-13-05
We're on the moon now!
How the hell did we get HERE?
We're in a comic, anything is possible.
Oh. Genere di I'm di impregnato di gas oggi.
What did you just say?
I said, I'm kind of gassy today.

CC 272 : You wake up lost, in an empty town... by niteowl
1-13-05
How are the test subjects holding up?
Very well. Skagg and Asiangirl2 are a lot tougher than Earl Holliman was.
That fuckin' guy...man, did he crack under pressure or what?
What's that noise? Do you hear that?
Mom, will you PLEASE buy me some more dolls? I'm tired of using Billy's soldiers in my dollhouse.
No Sally, you keep blowing them up and I can't afford to keep buying you that stuff.

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

1-13-05 5:33am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

But your series made it all worth it. And now that a few others have been posted, I feel free to dip in again!

Ervin Gives Herb Back His Sword by punkrockskaboy
9-30-02
I guess God just has a little too much on his plate right now. Booze is his best friend lately.
Yeah I know. It seems like every other day I have to stop him from breaking his Union contract by doing something stupid.
Yeah, he needs to get things back in order. Or maybe he needs to get laid.
Well, it isnt that he doesn't get laid, he just doesn't wanna use condoms and now he has that little arrogant Jesus as an illigitimate son. Which reminds me...
Umm, Jesus...You're time has come. Your father wants you to come live with him. You have been hanging there for years now.
He hasn't been here for me my whole life and now he wants to be my "dad". Screw him.

The Godfather: Part 2 by kaufman
1-13-05
Here you go, son, catch the ball.
That was right to you. How come you missed it?
Like I can catch it when I'm nailed up like this.

Games People Play by kaufman
1-13-05
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. I'm on Illinois Avenue.
Ooooh, I have a Temple there. Pay 1200 shekels rent.
Ha! I smote Dr. Lucky. I win!
I have a straight flush.
Too bad. I have 16 aces.

If God had meant us to fly ... by kaufman
1-13-05
Will you quit sniffing that glue, dad? I thought you wanted to help me with this model airplane.
Oh, sure. Here ya. go.
Now look what you've done. You've made a mess of it.
Nonsense. It's perfectly fine. Let's go out and fly it.

Happily Ever After? by kaufman
1-13-05
Listen, son, we've played games, tossed a ball around, built stuff together, but there's one thing a father and son should do together when he's old enough.
You mean?
Yeah. I'm taking you to a strip club.
Really?
You betcha! And I even talked to Brad, the owner. He's already got a character ready for you. Look for it on the threereasons menu.
I love you, dad.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

1-13-05 8:15am (new)
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NeoVid
Stripcreator Irregular

Member Rated:

EGR Trip to E3 2002 Episode 05: Gates to Hell by JudicatorCalypso
1-19-02
Serge runs into Bill Gates...
You will not buy Square....
I will buy Square...
You will not buy Capcom...
I will buy Capcom...
You will not rule the world...
I will rule the world!

CC 272: Gate'sway to hell by NeoVid
1-13-05
And that much motivation was all it took.
First order of business: make sure there's no one to compete at anything my company does.
I've got an idea. Get everyone to start working on our new project, and make sure the newspapers hear about it.
EXTRA: MICROSOFT DECIDES TO MONOPOLIZE VIDEO GAMES ALSO! MAKES NEW SYSTEM CALLED 'XBOX'

Gate'sway to hell 2 by NeoVid
1-13-05
I can't believe your reign of evil is my fault.
Well, honestly I've always been like this. I've been doing this sort of thing since I was a kid...
Hand over that lunchbox, loser!
Hey! That's mine!
I don't see your name on it.
From now on, everything I own is going to say 'Donald Trump' in really gigantic letters!

Gate'sway to hell 3 by NeoVid
1-13-05
People hate me for how successful I am. Maybe I could cover it up with turning to religion...
GAAHHH!
Hmm. I've rarely seen anyone ignite the instant they enter a church.
Screw covering it up. I'm just going to sell my soul to Satan.
I'm not touching you with a 75 foot pole. I can't afford to have you make me look small-time.

Gate'sway to hell 4 by NeoVid
1-13-05
I've done it. I'm the richest man on earth, and I've permanently crushed all opposition...
That's what you think, punk! I'm the richest man on earth!
Abe Vigoda!? What the hell? How can you be richer than me without anyone knowing about it?
I made some long-term investments that have really paid off.
What? IBM? My own company?
No... Air! Fire! Water! I knew they would catch on!

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

1-13-05 12:43pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


lukket
Home Computer Futurist

Member Rated:

Perceptions by Chuckler
1-17-01
You are an amazingly sexy man.
Thanks. You too.

CC 272: Perceptions 2 by lukket
1-16-05
Hey. How did your blind date go yesterday?
Oh boy, he turned out to be an amazingly sexy man.
How did he look like?
Blue shirt, blonde hear, big head, little goatee and big eyes.
He sounds like an amazingly sexy man.
Yeah. Can't wait to tell my parents about him.

CC 272: Perceptions 3 by lukket
1-16-05
Do your parents know that you're gay?
Um, not yet. But I think they will understand when they see how amazingly sexy my boyfriend is.
Do you have a backup plan?
No. That's my only plan.
You got quite some nerve.
Thanks. You too.

CC 272: Perceptions 4 by lukket
1-16-05
Mom. Dad. Meet Dan. He's my boyfriend.
Hello mom, dad.
Son that's one heck of a sexy man you brought home. Congrats!
Hi Dan. Welcome to the family.
Later that night
Being together with our son and his boyfriend made me realize, Laura, that you are an amazingly sexy man.
Thanks. You too.

CC 272: Perceptions 5 by lukket
1-16-05
Sorry Brad. You're a cool guy and all but that pilot is stupid. People expect more than one actor.
But. I'm Brad Pitt.
You are an amazingly sexy man
Thanks. You too.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

1-16-05 2:56pm (new)
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RedfeatheR
Part of it all, just like you.

Member Rated:

Pirates by niteowl
9-18-04
So how was your day?
Great. How was yours?
Excellent.
Cool.
You know, it's nice to be able to have a conversation with normal dialogue.
Right on. That whole "ARRR! Avast ye tallywacker smacking and walk the plank, bitch!" thing doesn't appeal to me.

Pirates II by RedfeatheR
1-16-05
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ niteowl/251102
I can't remember the last time I ever talked normaly like this
Man at last year's Christmas party you were. When you where all over that chick?
ohman that's right...damn
Turn's out it was a dude
yeahman we all knew

Pirates III by RedfeatheR
1-16-05
..and my butt was sore in the morning
Dude I really don't want to hear another wor--
ARH, BACK TO THE PIRATE LINGO YARS
He took me sword, held it high in the arh and professed it wos Davey Jones Cocker
One more tale of yur Jolly rogerings and ye be kissin' the gunner's daughter



[Click to view comic: 'Pirates VI']

1-16-05 2:59pm (new)
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ArtemisStrong
masturbating to Japanese shit porn

Member Rated:

i smell like cheese by bruised_and_bloodied
5-28-03
am i on the moon???
no...uranus
how did i get here?
you dont know?
uranus

I Smell Like Cheese: Book Two "The Age Of Civic Duties". by ArtemisStrong
1-17-05
Yes, Uranus. It had been awhile since Bruised had been there. By all accounts great changes had happened in the "Windy Planet". The place was obviously still lacking a working sewage system though.
It's like God dropped one big deuce and called it a planet!
Well, that is why I have summoned you here, my old friend. We begin work on the Big Drain tomorrow!
Big Drain? You mean... They're finally gonna have plumbing on this joint?
Yes sah. And bidets. So many bidets.
Sounds great, but... You do remember I'm a librarian by trade. I really... that is... I mean, I have no idea... I can't even unclog a toilet.
Protest elliptically all you want, it doesn't matter! After breakfast, our first stop is the Diarrhea Mines of the Northeast Shigella District. You will need boots and a ladle.

I Smell Like Cheese: Book Three, "Wet Ones Abound". by ArtemisStrong
1-17-05
So Bruised worked all day in the Diarrhea Mines, ladling, sorting and cataloguing the feces of an entire population raised on Taco Bell and Pizza Hut.
Alright, old friend, I'm here to check your progress. How's it going?
Fine, I guess. The piles of... uhm... excremental "elements" are behind you over there.
Oh I see- What?! Corn mixed with green beans, mushrooms intermingled with pistachio nutshells? This is all wrong. You must complete the sorting process- by hand!
Christ. At least I'm getting paid by the hour.
Oh, one other thing. We're out of gloves.
We had gloves?

I Smell Like Cheese: Book Four, "Secret Sauce". by ArtemisStrong
1-17-05
So the work went for days. Bruised was tired but he used the thought that he was a part of the most innovative sewage project in the universe to console him in the dark watches of the night.
What are we looking at now?
This, my old friend, is the Spicy Thai Reservoir. Here we will store the megaliters of watery red pumpkin soup dookie of all the planet.
Amazing. Your attention to detail is second to none. But why? Why go through the effort?
The concept is called, simply enough, "Recycling Food". Using this method we could feed Uranus for a millenia. But we wont.
No? But dear God why?
Why, it's about commerce. We shall be the biggest producers of... You look confused. Oh, my poor dear old friend, I think it's time we had a talk about what goes into making a McRib.

I Smell Like Cheese: Book Five, "The Wages Of Sin-OF DEATH". by ArtemisStrong
1-17-05
From the edifice of Mt. Ghrelin, Bruised and Bloodied survey the end-result of months of labor:
So much poop.
Yah... er... look at it... so... uhm... beautiful?
Yes, my good old friend. Beautiful! I don't just see piles of doo-doo, I see piles of money! Carls Jr., Checkers, Jack-In-The-Box, all will kneel to me and my wealth of secret sauce!
One thing I must have missed. Uhm, where was the gigantic facility for sterilizing the feces, maybe cooking out all the bacteria and whatnot?
What do you think gives it that special flavor? Now go fetch a spoon, it's time for the royal taste test!
Man, this job, this place, the ever-pervading reek of shit... My lord, how it beats working in a library!

[Click to view comic: 'ISLC: Epilogue, "After Many A Dump Dies The Guy".']

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

1-17-05 7:42pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

I am going to judge this tomorrow or the next day.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

1-17-05 8:20pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

The UBCS Comic: Randomness to the max by Speez
1-07-04
CP, have you ever gotten that "Not so fresh" feeling.
CP, you there?
Don't move. Maybe he is like a T-rex, he can't see me if I don't move.

CC 272: Jurassic Corporate Park by kaufman
1-18-05
CP, you there?
Hold on, CP, I think I hear a lawyer taking a dump downstairs. I'll be right back after I eat him.

CC 272: JCP3 by kaufman
1-18-05
Yo, kid, you mind helping me take this frozen embryo out to the car? He's huge! His mother must have been Turkish or something.

CC 272: JCP 4 by kaufman
1-18-05
Get some refreshing liquid right over here!
Oh crud. Velocicoolers. One grabs your attention, and the others swoop in from the sides.

CC 272: JCP 5 by kaufman
1-18-05
Thank you for visiting Jurassic Corporate Park.
Today we saw the dim-witted carnivore, the geek stealing trade secrets, the intelligent herd predators, evreything but the creature that spits in your eye and blinds you.
*HCCCCCH* *PTUUUUUUIIII*

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

1-18-05 8:17am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

This was a very hard contest to judge! I enjoyed reading all of the comics. They were all very good. In fact, many of them were great!

Excuse me for a moment...

Okay, I'm back. Well anyway, it was darn near impossible to pick one winner out of this bunch. There were so many wonderful entries, such as:

mmyers "Wok", "How much is that demon doll in the window?"
Friendly "Delete It"
boinky33 "Some comics are born unfunny"
SpideyChris "Is it the end?"
Scyess "Hubert", "Death Meets His Match"
kaufman "Abdul", "Ervin Gives Herb Back His Sword", "Jurassic Corporate Park"

I'm not even going to try to put those in order of importance or anything. I just can't muster a sufficient amount of subjectivity right now. And don't feel bad if I didn't mention your comics. My list just kept getting longer and longer and I had to prune it considerably.

So, here's the SECOND PLACE winner:

niteowl for the delirious "Randomness" series.

And here is the FIRST PLACE winner:

ArtemisStrong for the mind-numbing "I Smell Like Cheese."

This has been a wonderful contest. Thank you all for entering.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

1-19-05 3:29pm (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

AARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

1-19-05 5:19pm (new)
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ArtemisStrong
masturbating to Japanese shit porn

Member Rated:

The what now?

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

1-20-05 5:30pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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