All the guys from zz top scare me, the guy without a beard included. Most of the facial hair trends are stupid, and, even if it makes you look like [insert this year's sexiest man alive here], facial hair of any kind is still super itchy and unpleasant when you're on the recieving end of a kiss or something that involves having your face that close to another person's body part. Mustaches are good for attempting to beat the guy with the super curly mustache in the guiness book of world records and avoiding triming nose hair. I have no idea what beards are good for; hiding hickeys from your wife that you got from your girlfriend?
That being said...is Stripperfest still on? I'd like to have a lady on each arm, running their fingers through my mighty beard as a deep, hearty guffaw bursts forth from my barrel-like, lumberjackian chest.
"ANOTHER ROUND OF MEAD FOR THE MEN...AND LET THE WOMEN SING THEIR PRAISES!", I wouldn't shout to the room.
That all depends. Most of the people who might actually come prefer Chicago, I'm going to be there next summer. You all can join me, or not. I'll just go out to pizza with crabby without ya'll.
Also, there are only like 5 or 6 regular female users on this website, and I don't think any are anxious to be your bimbo for the night.
Mediocrity at its most average.