I think we have a new one-note character...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Good one, Kaufman. I liked that strip a lot. Now try making a pun out of Audrey Meadows.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Well, Duh! by ladyjdotnet 11-13-01

I've lived in Louisiana, California and Ohio. New York is too scary right now, and Nebraska's too boring. I think I'll call and ask someone for help deciding_where_to_move_next. Hello? Captain Monosyllabic? Could you help me figure out where I should go? Sure! Great! Where should I move next? Maine!

What did you think he'd say, Massachusetts?

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

"Schadenfreudewoman"

Sounds like Andys been watching German Porn again.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Mmm, geography puns.

CC 79: Where in the World is Lara7? San Diego, perhaps... by Namgubed 11-13-01

Previously, in 1492, aboard the Santa Maria... Land ho!! Why, I can practically see Ohio, Columbus! That's "Columbus, Ohio." And many fathoms beneath that famous keel... You know you can't re-enter Marine Paradise without your musical instrument! Now, where is it? I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco! Meanwhile, back in Spain, children are called inside for supper. A comér! Ven acá, Luís y Anna! Si, Mamá!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

My first impression was to remake the Boys Life joke about where Audrey the Cow hangs out, but you deserve better. So without further ado:

The fawn's mother was shot and eaten, but now she's back again.

That's odd, remade does.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Aw, shit, I used a possessive pronoun.

Could rewrite the damn thing, but naw.

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What others say about boorite!

Kaufman, I brought Captain Monosyllabic back just for you.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

As the Captain himself might say, thanks.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

OK, I fixed it quite seamlessly.

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What others say about boorite!

quote:

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Aw, shit, I used a possessive pronoun.

Could rewrite the damn thing, but naw.

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wow. Most of these strips made me laugh hard. I hope ya'll had as much fun with this as I did, egotism aside. speaking of which..

The Lemur memorial Dis-honorable mentions go to the two strips that not only complained about the rules within the strip, but also mis-spelled "yer" and "Francisco", respectively. You know who you are.

also, while I liked Namgubed and LadyJ's strips (more Captain Monosyllabic, yay!), I felt they did not actually fulfill the requirement of making fun of the places I've lived. LadyJ, this may be the first time someone's said you need to be more biting and vicious, but there it is. :-)

The Runners Up:

Kaufman for both "Anagram Anne" (despite the extraneous "b" in Louisiana) and "Press Conference":

CC 79: Anagram Anne's US Tour by kaufman 11-12-01

Hey now, isn't SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA the greatest place on earth? No sir - a farcical can of sin! Well, hello there, what are you doing in LOUISIANA? I boil a anus. You made it! At last you're in COLUMBUS, OHIO. Ooh, I lob mucus!

CC79: Lara's Press Conference by kaufman 11-13-01

Lara7 introduces herself to the stripcreator regulars ... So, what do you think of the new Russell Crowe DVD? "Won't" is an interesting name for a cat. What gave you the idea of using a contraction? How do you feel about coming from Louisiana, a state that nobody can spell correctly? Aren't you concerned that someone's patella will strike your automobile, and they'll be suffering from art car knee? 1) I haven't seen it - I'm waiting for it to come out on 5.25" floppy. 2) Bud Selig suggested it to me. 3) Have you seen their literacy rate? No one down there knows the difference. 4) The thought fills me with glee, son!

"Ooh, I lob mucus" sums up the Columbus experience more than you know.

Boorite for the corrected "Round on the ends"

CC79: Round on the ends, high in the middle by boorite 11-13-01

Hey, kids! Horse-Faced Whore here to talk about wonderful Ohio! Homesick for Louisiana? Just hold the special FlavorCat over your bedspread and squeeze! Voila: Gumbo, Columbus style! Ah, the endless, flat beauty of the breathtaking soybean fields. A cute guy behind every tree! And a clear line of sight to the stuff on every porch. And for night life, a diverse variety of herpes commercials! Because Ohio is rich in sexually-transmitted diseases. Ohio is a just a car or plane ride away from desirable locations! Scenic Ohio: The Birthplace of Aviation!

Kudos for managing to make a funny strip under the additional non-pronoun/non-humans restrictions. That, and for portraying my nemesis, the Horsed Faced Whore as the pink donkey. Genius.

KramerVsKramer for his deliciously horrible pun.

CC79 - A Lara Lara Laffs by kramer_vs_kramer 11-13-01

Hey! Where am I? Last thing I remember is stealing stuff off of some broad's porch in Ohio, and now I'm in this weird place. Well, Simon, the thing is you died on that porch. Lara7 caught you stealing her lawn ornaments and had you killed. But where is this place? I've just spent the last hour being repeatedly run over by a car covered in 5 1/4 inch floppy disks. And all the while, Bootsy Collins and George Clinton have been poking me with sticks and laughing. What's going on? I'm sorry Simon, but you're in Art Car Funk Hell.

But the winner is the person who:
Made a joke about Ohio, delivered by a Canadian
Made power newbie jokes without using the word "power newbie"
Coined the word "ArtCat"
And most importantly, in a contest about egotism, put his own name in the strip as well as mine:

CC79: A Meeting Of Minds by israphael 11-12-01

Gang I think we have a problem. Too many newbies have been winning the comic competitions recently. First came israphael, then lemur68, and now lara7. That lara7 is a strange one. You know she once glued floppy discs on one of her kittens and entered it in a ArtCat Show. I put in all the known information about lara7 into the Gender Test at TheSpark.com. We only know that there is a 86% chance that she is female. Yeah, other parts of her biography sound hinkey too. She says she's from Ohio, but I swear that earlier that she said she was from Iowa. I thought she was from Idaho. Ohio... Iowa... Idaho... Same damn state, different pronunciation.

Congrats Israphael!

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Not even an honorable mention? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

I'm just gonna have to try and actually make a funny strip.

quote:

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I'm just gonna have to try and actually make a funny strip.

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I enjoyed israphael's use of my forumuser character saying something relevant to something I posted in a forum a few days ago, yet not bitching about something I said. That's rare. :)

I promise to be more biting and vicious in the future, lara.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Eek!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I wanna recount! What does Lara8 say?

Nevermind. I already know mine bit butt.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Kramer_vs_Kramer's entry was an obvious fucking winner! I can't believe the Art Garfunkel joke didn't claim the prize!

boo

BOO!!

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Dad was flammable

I agree wholeheartedly. It was a standout strip that should have won by a street.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I beg to differ, I thought kaufman had the inside track. Not only did he have Anagram Anne, but he had Lara's press conference with all those Honeymooners puns.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

I apologise israphael, I wasn't meaning to take anything away from your victory

congratulations

I just thought Kramer's strip was clever!

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Dad was flammable

quote:

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I apologise israphael, I wasn't meaning to take anything away from your victory

congratulations

I just thought Kramer's strip was clever!

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quote:

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I apologise israphael, I wasn't meaning to take anything away from your victory

congratulations

I just thought Kramer's strip was clever!

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Though you'd have been excused because chicka recently won a contest and wasn't here to host ...

No hard feelings -- I've sat in your chair and done the exact same thing :-)

Plus I leave for Vegas tomorrow, and might not have the time to properly administer a contest (and I've got what I think is a great idea for the next one I host, but it will be relatively labor-intensive on my own part). At least I can enter CC 80 freely -- there's so much good stuff coming down that pipeline, no matter how brilliant my comics are, I'll be really unlucky if I win.

quote:

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so blow me.

er, I mean, peace out.

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Battlestar Galactica and ass sex?

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