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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

I don't really write a lot of comics. I only passed the 200 barrier in August 2008, having passed 100 in 2005, 50 in 2003 and made my first comic way back in 2001(!). I've never been the most prolific writer of anything, and have found that since graduating from uni I've written next to nothing, save about four pages of dialogue for a piece my friend and I have been working on for, well, the best part of a decade now, with little success.

So, as a little writing aid to jump-start my brain, I've decided to write one joke a day for as long as it takes.

I've long used comics on this site as a tool to break down more complex ideas and observations into smaller, managable chunks which can then be played around with more easily, using the constraints of the medium to trim any excesses from a joke to get it down to its bare bones - the bits where the humour comes from. The thing is, I'm sure I have at least one idea like this per day, and if I don't then given the task of needing one idea a day my brain might start making more of an effort to analyse my surroundings, which can only be a good thing as I feel I've been going through life on autopilot for far too long.

So, one comic per day (or at the very least one explanation of how a paticular joke can't be made into a workable comic per day) complete with notes on cues and inspirations.

Starting... last week:

14/4/09

[Click to view comic: 'World Cup Newsroom 1982']

Notes

Brazil once had a star player nicknamed Socrates. He was, as well as one of the greatest footballers of the eighties, a qualified doctor and a campaigner for democracy, and therefore awesome. The fact that he was called Socrates is ripe for obvious philosopher crossovers which I'm sure have been done before.

4-19-09 6:06pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

15/4/09

[Click to view comic: 'Three Little Words']

Notes

I wrote part of a quiz for a pub I used to work in and question two was 'What is the shortest three-syllable word in the English dictionary?' after having read somewhere that it was 'Area'. I realised 'Aria' was also viable halfway through the quizmaster reading the quiz out. Some medical students also proposed 'Urea' (Pronounced to rhyme with 'Your here', hence the joke...). I wrote this comic after remembering that night.

'USA' isn't a word (its barely a country...) but I needed an ending :)

4-19-09 6:12pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

16/4/09

[Click to view comic: 'The Game of Kings']

Notes

We had a cheap copy of 'Connect 4' at a pub I used to work in, and me and one of the regulars became obsessed with it for a couple of days during quiet business hours. We started borrowing chess jargon to make the game sound more important than it was. 

4-19-09 6:15pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

17/4/09

[Click to view comic: 'The Gym']

Notes

A true story that had happened a few days before I wrote this. I'd recounted the tale to a couple of people and they laughed, so I transcribed it into comic form, where it works less well.

4-19-09 6:17pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

18/4/09

[Click to view comic: 'Occam's Barber']

Notes

One of the first episodes in series one of House is called 'Occam's Razor'. The basic principle of Occam's Razor is "Of two equivalent theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the simpler one is to be preferred." The obvious irony of Gillette and Wilkinson's products being so complicated hit me a lot later than it should have.

 

4-19-09 6:24pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

18/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Frontier Elite II']

Notes

Aylear mentioned the Kuiper Belt in one of his comics, which made me think about the Oort cloud. In my mind the nearest thing to the Oort Cloud is Barnard's Star (In my mind, astronomers), which I know predominantly as an easy place to trade goods in the 1992 computer game "Frontier Elite II", which I played as a kid. This joke has kind of limited appeal. The one I wrote after it has slightly broader appeal...

[Click to view comic: 'Ghetto Hawking']

...but only slightly

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuiper_Belt

4-19-09 6:29pm (new)
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Aylear
Still Alive

Member Rated:

I'd voted most of these good already, but it pleases me that you're planning on making comics regularly. I've already told you you're a top favourite of mine on this site.

Another thing I found interesting was you mentioning you'd at least be trying to think of ideas daily and, failing to condense them into a three panel strip, at least explain the failure. I had previously been toying with the idea of posting some of the stuff I've been working on during my comic making process that didn't work out, or (obscenely often) just wasn't funny (albeit, to me, interesting), but I figured few enough people read my comics as it is; why should I post my brainstorming? At least when I'm posting comics in my thread I'm hoping someone will enjoy them.

I'll still be reading yours, though. No question. I'm not sure how that works, but it does.

4-19-09 7:05pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

20/4/09

[Click to view comic: 'World Cup Newsroom: South Africa 2010']

Notes

I made a few football-themed holocaust comics during the 2006 World Cup in Germany, so why not make an apartheidt one for South Africa? The last panel came to me after about ten minutes, and works quite well.

If you didn't know, Gerrard, Lampard, Beckham and Rooney are white, Heskey, Ferdinand, Defoe and Walcott are black, and Neville is shite.

 

4-20-09 3:23am (new)
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Hari_Nezumi
Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch

Member Rated:

While I don't find all of these particularly funny, I sincerely applaud your efforts to try and pump out a comic a day. It's beyond my abilities, that's for sure.

---
More lust than you can shake a stick at.

4-20-09 4:00am (new)
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AngryAmerican
Here at least 3 times a year

Member Rated:

I found most of them amusing, albeit some too SOCCER flavored for me.

As a lazy writer who doesn't really write anymore, I also applaud your efforts to energize your other writing endeavors by cranking out a comic a day.

I would also like to mention that while I agree with you that America is barely a country (try living here...) we did at various times through history kick your monkey asses and save your monkey asses. Your welcome.

There. I felt patriotic for a moment, but it has thankfully passed now.

---
Kill Whitey.

4-20-09 1:17pm (new)
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Hari_Nezumi
Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch

Member Rated:

AngryAmerican

 This

---
More lust than you can shake a stick at.

4-20-09 1:53pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

Someone'll have to dig that 'Success troll is successful' macro out of 4chan for me, as I can't be bothered.

Cheers for your comments, though. Much appreciated.

21/04/09 (It is over here anyway. I'm running about one day and three ideas ahead of schedule so far)

[Click to view comic: 'Porn']

Notes

Quiet day at work. This one just popped into my head apropos of nothing, ready-formed in the style of a bad Tim Vine joke. "My mum wants to dig a hole in the garden and fill it with water. She means well..."

and so on.

Just edited it to remove the words "find a doctor to" from panel two and "for him" from the end of panel three. Those bits added an extra level to the joke that it really didn't deserve.

4-20-09 5:13pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

22/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Leonardo Da Vinci's Helicopter']

Notes

Walked past the Royal Observatory today just as a helicopter was passing overhead. Ding.

The aftermath:

[Click to view comic: 'Galileo Galilei's Telescope']

4-22-09 9:14am (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

 Almost late...

23/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Waiting for the Monolingual III']

Notes

Its been a while since my last comic about life as a monolingual waiter in a restaurant where 95% of the customers are foreign. The above didn't happen today, but I thought about it and it made me chuckle. Doesn't work brilliantly as a comic, but the idea that a frenchman would ask me what garlic was struck me as funny, you know, because of the stereotypical frenchman-in-hooped-shirt-on-bicycle-with-string-of-garlic-round-neck image.

4-23-09 5:41pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

Today is two-for-the-price-on-one, because their both a teeny bit on the average side.

24/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Coccoon']

[Click to view comic: 'The Olde English Firm']

Notes

Not much to say. The phrase "He didn't just get up and walk away!" is from Loaded Weapon 1, and a I merely transposed it onto another situation. The other one is basic football satire.

 

4-24-09 8:17am (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

25/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Scouser']

Notes

Uh, struggling a bit now. This is based on a 'witty' remark I said over a year ago. 'Scousers' are people from Liverpool in England. The stereotypical British view of the scouser is a man with a bubble perm and moustache combination, in a shell-suit, queueing for his giro (unemployment benefit) before going out and stealing things

"Why does the river Mersey run through Liverpool? Because if it walked it'd get mugged"

Gotta love stereotypes.

 

4-25-09 7:41pm (new)
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Aylear
Still Alive

Member Rated:

It's funny for Brits. Like Eddie Izzard.

4-26-09 4:56am (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

Yesterday's lack of comic was due to life related issues (i.e. I sometimes have one) but I still thought one up, and here it is in physical form, one day late.

"26"/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Mandelbrot']

Notes

This video is pretty, but it was the one sentence in the info box that blew my mind. The obvious thing to do was write a buggery joke about it. I'll need to check back at this comic at a later date, because I'm sure it could be written better.

A simplified version of the final frame would make quite a cool tattoo. Yes it would be a bit hippy-ish, but unlike a ying yang it has that all important basis in mathematical fact.

4-27-09 9:50am (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

lima

I should point out that I mean the final frame of the video, not the final frame of my comic.

Oh, and the fact that the dialogue boxes get smaller and smaller was intended, although it doesn't really work.

27/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Universe Expansion']

Notes

Another 'universey' comic. Not a very good one, mind.

 

4-27-09 10:28am (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

28/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'This Joke MUST Have Been Done By Now']

Notes

Read an article about Swineflu in the paper and started thinking there must be something funny to extract from it. Its called Swineflu for christ sake.

This was the best I could do.

4-28-09 3:41pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

29/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Swatting the Barflies XIII']

Notes

First Swatting the Barflies comic for over three years. It's OK, you can be excited.

This conversation happened, almost word for word, at work last night. Except for the last panel. In reality he just said "Aye well we all like it like that in Yorkshire" instead of recognising that a pub full of people who differentiate their glasses from each others by decorating them the same way would be ridiculous, and then carried on. Idiot. I don't like it when customers don't RECOGNISE MY COMEDY GENIUS.

4-29-09 5:01pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

30/04/09

[Click to view comic: 'Bees']

Notes

Its a pun. What else can I say?

Other than 'sorry' of course.

4-30-09 6:15pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

1/05/09

[Click to view comic: 'Mayday']

Notes

...and this is the worst comic ever, but I couldn't have posted it on any other day.

Hawthorns traditionally come out on May 1st.

5-01-09 5:01am (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

2/05/09

[Click to view comic: 'Slightly Autistic']

Notes

The second dialogue box is something I said last week. Rightly diagnosed as being 'a little bit weird'.

5-02-09 4:35pm (new)
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lima
FIREBOMB THE ORPHANAGE!

Member Rated:

03/05/09

[Click to view comic: 'Staying up to Watch Hatton vs Pacquiao']

Notes

Not a true story but might as well have been. Was not worth feeling absoloutely knackered at work today for six minutes of watching a two-weight world champion forgetting how to box. I know Manny Pacquiao is a tremendous fighter but could Ricky not at least have kept his chin down and gloves up? And maybe do something other than move forwards with his mouth open and move downwards with his eyes closed?

Just a thought, and yes I could have done better. I'd have ran backwards in a circle for forty-five minutes with my head in my hands screaming like a girl and still emerged with more respect than Hatton did last night.

And yes I am a little bit annoyed.

5-03-09 6:20pm (new)
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