CC 486: THE THREAT OF THE 'POOPOCADOES'! pt.8, the end! by bigworm 9-25-11

As Bones and Kirk left the poop pile on it's own... no one saw it's rumblings. No one heard it's ungodly sounds. Da-Daaaa! *shpew shpew... shpew shpew ka-shplut!* ... no one was there to witness the emergence of a new 'Poopocadian'. *ka-shputter ka-shputter ka-shput shput shput, ka-shputter ka-shpooter ka-shpoot shpoot shpoot! Ka-SHPROING!!!* All in all, it turned out to be a symbiotic sorta' thing... You butt-fuck each other, we get babies!

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bigworm

CC 486: THE THREAT OF THE 'POOPOCADOES'! pt.8, the end! by bigworm 9-25-11

As Bones and Kirk left the poop pile on it's own... no one saw it's rumblings. No one heard it's ungodly sounds. Da-Daaaa! *shpew shpew... shpew shpew ka-shplut!* ... no one was there to witness the emergence of a new 'Poopocadian'. *ka-shputter ka-shputter ka-shput shput shput, ka-shputter ka-shpooter ka-shpoot shpoot shpoot! Ka-SHPROING!!!* All in all, it turned out to be a symbiotic sorta' thing... You butt-fuck each other, we get babies!

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bigworm

CC 486: GREEN SPACE by bigworm 9-26-11

Captain, the alien women are lining up outside your cabin door for their regular evening of sexual frolicking. Would you like your sheets changed? You know I don't change my sheets, but rather 'process' them. But sir... 2 weeks of cum stains and pussy juice, I mean... it could look bad for you. What do you mean "look bad"? It's a totally 'green' condition! Get used to it Bones! The pussy juice becomes brood material for new strains of interstellar yeast. The cum turns crusty and Cookie uses it in his cornbread.

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bigworm

I'll pick a winner this weekend.  So far "Romulan Herpes" and "Gornian Slime-whore AIDS" are worth the most bonus points, but other than that the award could go anywhere.

Except to mandingo and bigworm.  Fuck those guys.  Tenderly, like a woman should. :D

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Spocktacles by TheGovernor 9-27-11

Spock have you ever had an STD? Well two Pon Farr's ago I met a three breasted Romulan in a pleasure house on Rigel V She left me with a Seven Year Itch.

The Immaturity Syndrome by biped 9-27-11

Isn't this the communicator your mom gave you for your birthday, Spock? Yes it is, Captain. Thank you for finding it... Oops. ...and then intentionally dropping it down the Black Hole of Ringus Wormius IV. Oh, I told him to do that. As ship's clown, I understand the healing comedic value of pissing off Vulcans.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This is a new comic.  I just flew at warp speed close to an exploding sun today, which sent me ten years into the past.  Honest!

Blooper Reel by kaufman 5-15-01

Dammit, Jim, I'm gonna kill Scotty when we get beamed back up. Never mind that, Bones, Yeoman Rand is toast. This wouldn't have happened if she'd washed our other uniforms so we didn't have to wear red! And wait till Spock gets a load of us. His pointy ears aren't so big any more, are they! Uh, Bones, I'm sorry, but this is my contractual obligation ... No, Jim, you can't! Sorry, Bones, you know the rules, I get to seduce the hot alien-looking creature.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

cc486: Tenderly, like a woman should. by mandingo 9-27-11

captain, it appears that your inordinately long pauses are in fact due to an inoperable tumor in the hypothalamus of your brain Fuck i'm sorry, sir, but according to my calculations, you only have 2.1 months to live or approximately 3 paragraphs. ...ing shit!

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 486: CAPT. KIRK HAS A NEW DISEASE! by bigworm 9-28-11

Fuck what guys? I don't understand. Was it good for you? Bones, what's happening? This guy appears, and when he leaves my ass hurts and smells like chicken! Captain, it seems you've acquired a case of the latest interstellar anal malady. Which is...? 'HCROYALLpainintheass' disease!

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bigworm

CC 486: POOR CAP'N KIRK! by bigworm 9-29-11

Hey dude! I remember you! My ass still hurts! That's because you didn't ask for lube. I didn't even know you were gonna' butt-fuck me. How would I know to ask for lube? I want lube! There now, I've asked for lube! Did you pre-order? *WHAM BAM!* Kirk takes the lubeless dirk! Ouch! That hurt!!! I asked you for lube too!!! To pre-order your favourite lube, go to regalacheintheanus.com!

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bigworm

First off, mandingo and bigworm get the special prize (a bicycle helmet that's too small) for their contributions.

mandingo for this comic:

cc486 by mandingo 9-17-11

Stardate 69696.9. to honor such a sexually explicit stardate, i decided to have sex with every person on the ship having sworn an oath to it, disaster immediately struck. a ship dematerialized off the port side, and i was beamed aboard an enemy vessel full of the most hideous creatures i've ever seen The Lesbian Council will see you now... still, an oath's an oath.

and bigworm for his Poopacadoes (which are too numerous to post them all here).

Also a special mention to AA and biped for "Romulan Herpes" and "Gornian Slime-Whore Aids", respectively, with evil_d almost edging them out with "Spaceshiphillis".

But now the runners-up.

4th place goes to biped for "Balance of Error":

Balance of Error by biped 9-25-11

Captain, our situation regarding those approaching Hostilian battle cruisers is extremely perilous, and--err, where is Captain Kirk? Oh, I relieved him of duty. As ship's clown, it's my job to occasionally lighten things up by incompetently commanding the Enterprise. But, we are in grave danger-- SHIELDS DOWN!!! WEAPONS SYSTEMS OFFLINE!!! ALL HANDS CHICKEN-DANCE NAKED IN FRONT OF THE VIEWSCREEN!!! BLAAR-HAR-HAR!!! Holy Denebian bat shit, what the FUCK is that? I don't know, but let's get the FUCK outta here!

I must admit that if I were an alien species that had never encountered humans, a naked Chicken dance would probably terrify me as well.

3rd place goes to RCColaman for "Bar Trek Drek":

Bar Trek Drek by RCCOLAMAN 9-23-11

Captain, I'm detecting several intriguing life forms Horny, I am. Yes!! Hey you, wanna go out back and boldly go where relatively few men have gone before? Captain, carbon dating is calculating an age of 14 years... I'm also detecting high concentrations of Gonorrhea. Take my chances, I will

This would have placed higher, but the mixing of genres (the captain speaking like Yoda) really threw me off.  Excellent concept, though.

2nd place goes to evil_d for "Star Warts":

CC486: Star Warts by evil_d 9-24-11

Spock, I've been experiencing a burning sensation when I transport. What could that mean? According to these readings, you've contracted a severe case of spaceshiphilis. What? Do you mean to say I've got Klingons on my moons?? It would seem that your years of bedding genetically incompatible females have caught up with you. I've witnessed the return of Herpes Comet?? Count your blessings, Captain. At least it's not aster-AIDS.

It was a hard choice between this and the winner, especially with the clever pun-diseases and the almost-palindromic title.

But in the end 1st place, and CC487, goes to ZMannZilla and the following comic, which proves that even when disease is wiped out there will never be a cure for stupidity:

CC 486: Boldy Going Where Entertainment Doesn't Need To Go by ZMannZilla 9-17-11

I have fixed the Holodeck captain. Fortunately, only four crew members died this time when it malfunctioned. This is like the tenth time during this voyage that the Holodeck gained sentience and tried to murder everyone. Why do we even have that thing? The crew are stuck on a spaceship for months at a time. It is important for morale to provide them with engaging and versatile entertainment. Yeah, but you know what does that without growing a brain and trying to kill my crew? What is that, Captain? A fucking XBOX!

Take it away, Z!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Guess I can't complain about being beaten by a comic I already rated "good".

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

you could change your rating and rage and then change it back. this is how the UN votes

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what if nigger meant kite

I think edoggydog's comic was by far the funniest.  But, I may be biased...

First off, I'd like to say thank you for the bicycle helmet that is too small. It's painted foam-work is awe-inspiring and draws many complimentary remarks from numerous passers-by. Secondly, I have been unable to remove it from my head and I think it has been constricting  the blood flow to my brain. This might be (depending on other unknown factors which have yet to manifest themselves), a potential cause for a repeat of some natural disaster that may have already taken place at some point in the distant past... like maybe the extinction of dinosaurs.

Then a time machine would be required to rectify all that stuff so that people could just get along.

I feel I've done my part, which isn't all that I can do, but represents that portion of my actions generally referred to as 'all I'm gonna' do'.

So anyway, thanks again for the helmet. I'm going to send it right to mandingo when I manage to wrest it from the head on my 'you know what'.

PS- I have found 'wresting' with it to be quite distracting, but expect that aspect of my life to change with time, and of course... motion as well.

See you all in the next CC!

Yours in the availability of my ass,

bigworm

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bigworm

I  love broccoli!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Thanks!  New comic contest shortly...

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."