Groovy! - CC: 299 Numero Stinko by edoggydog 10-06-05

Dude... The NHL is back! They played their first games in over a year last night... Groovy! But, what I don't understand is that I heard there's a team in Chicago called the "Black Cocks"! I mean, isn't that name a little racist towards African-Americans? The name of the team is "Black HAWKS", bird brain! This was just an example of the type of "high brow" humor we do here at "Groovy!" Vote for us for CC: 300! YAY!!

Groovy! - Ben Ghazari by edoggydog 9-12-12

...and that's when I decided that hoof-in-mouth was not only disease, but a kick-ass way of life! Groovy! Say... What's this I hear that Ben Gazarra killed the American Ambassador? I mean, I thought he was an asshole in "Road House", but this goes beyond the pale! WRONG-G-G-G!!! The Ambassador wasn't killed by Ben Gazarra... He was killed in Benghazi. It's in Libya, bird-seed-for-brains! What the hell was Ben Gazarra doing in Libya in the first place? I think I'll go sit on my thumb and lean back on my wrist...

Groovy! - U2ube by edoggydog 10-17-12

...and that's why I think Romney's economic plan will help lower overall business expenditures by the third quarter of 2015. Groovy! Say, what's this I keep hearing about a U2 video causing massive ritos in Egypt and Libya? I know their music over the last decade or so has really sucked, but- It was a video posted on YouTube, bird-shit-for-brains! Okayyyyy.... So, why would U2 post a video on YouTube that gets those rag heads so angry? I think I'll post a video on YouTube of me splitting your skull with a tack hammer. Wait here while I go get my veo camera...

Groovy! - And, when you get the chance... by edoggydog 12-02-12

...and that's when I decided to switch my major to cornithology. Groovy! Speaking of horny women... What's this I hear the Egyptians are pro-testing Morrisey? First it was a video by U2, and now this? What do they have against new wave bands from the 80's? Not the singer Morrisey, Ritz Crackers® breath! They're mad at their president, MORSI, because he's trying to usurp all of the power- And, now ABBA's celebrating the new Palestinian state? Didn't they break up 1982? "Knowing me, knowing you, the best thing I can do" is leave before I beat you like a red-headed Mexican step-day laborer!

Groovy! - 700 Club by edoggydog 1-05-06

...so, while everyone else was flying south for the winter, I flew due west. I spent my winter vacation in Hawaii, and they in Hawaiian Gardens! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA [*tweet*] Groovy! By the by... Why is it called "jock itch"? Uh... I mean, shouldn't it be called, "COCK itch"? @$#%&@%$%#@...

Groovy! - Birdie and the Jets by edoggydog 12-22-12

...and that's when I started doing my own income taxes. Groovy! Speaking of the Jets... I hear they're going to bench Mark Sanchez in favor of Rory McIlroy. Boy, Tim Tebow's career has sunk to a new low if he can't beat out a pro golfer at the QB position! Not Rory McIlroy, bird brain! They're replacing him with Greg McElroy... The abstract artist?? That's even worse! Down. Set. HUT!!

Groovy! - I said kidley, diddle I? by edoggydog 7-22-13

...and then the salesman asked me if I want my new Porsche in canary yellow, for which I said, "FUCK YOU!!" Groovy! Speaking of illegal alien maids, I heard on the radio Princess Kate went into labor. I mean, is the economy in Britain so bad that one of the royals had to get a real job? They meant she's about to give birth to a baby. And, she's putting her newborn into child labor? England must be on the brink of a great depression! Why am I just hearing about this? I keep up with news. I read the blogs. Does Glenn Beck know- I think there's a Benny Hill anthology playing on the BBC in America channel...

RCL no. 2809 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-10-12

"Next up is Father McCracken and his canary..." Special canary. "What's so special about your canary?" He can actually repeat what people say... Repeat something, canary. NO, FATHER McCRACKEN!! I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO THE CONFESSIONAL AND GIVE YOU ANOTHER BLOW- I TOLD YOU NOT TO REPEAT THAT, YOU FUCKING BIRDBRAIN!!

Groovy! - Great Fool Dead by edoggydog 4-17-06

...and why is calling someone a "bird-brain" an insult? The way I see it... Uhhhh... I mean... Whacky! Groovy! Anyhoo... I hear the Dead Sea is "threatened" due to the lack of flowing fresh water! I mean, what's the WORST that can happen? It's already DEAD!! I agree! Wow! He actually agreed with me! Talk about a "bird-brain"! Hmmm... I think the "anti-confrontational therapy" my psycho-hypnotist did on me is making me a little TOO nice!

Groovy! - People Day Afternoon by edoggydog 11-06-13

...and that's why I consider the original Ocean's Eleven wayyyyy better than that cheesy-ass Clooney version! Groovy! BTW... I read a headline on Yahoo! that instead of having armed guards to protect our children, school authorities would rather have dogs... Are they CRAZY? They're going to arm the dogs?? No. What the article was saying is- I mean, how they hell can the dogs grip the guns in the first place? They don't have thumbs! And, most dogs are hyperactive. What if Fido gets excited and HE shoots up the school? What if... I think I'll have a hot dog for lunch...

Groovy! - Surge E.O. Garcia by edoggydog 6-25-14

...and that's when I knew Big Bird was just a guy in suit! Groovy! Anyhoo... What's the deal with all this secretary violence over in Iraq? I know they don't treat women all that well in the middle East, and I'm sure the pay isn't all great to begin with, but... SECTARIAN violence, bird brain! Not secretary viol- ...maybe, if they called them "executive assist-ants" like we do in this country, they'd be less likely to pick an AK-47 and shoot up a falafel stand or hookah shop or camel dealership or... I'd better leave... I feel a SURGE of my own violence coming on.

Groovy! - Bird Flu? by edoggydog 7-07-14

...and that's when I gave the President the "bird"! Groovy! So, what's this I here about 50,000 ill eagles at the border, and everyone's talking about deporting them? Eagles are our national bird, and if they're ill, we should give 'em medical help! They're not ill eagles. They're ILLEGALS. First you say they're not ill. Then, you say they are. Make up your mind! I think I just made up my mind to trade you in for a ferret!

Groovy! - Why the Caged Bird Sings (in three panels) by edoggydog 5-28-14

Because I don't have armpits to make fart noises! Groovy! Because I never learned to play an instrument! Groovy! Because I was facing life in prison and I can't live in a cage, man! Groovy!

Groovy! - Duct, Duct, GOOST!! by edoggydog 9-25-15

...and that when I decided Trump as preisdent would open the seventh seal and bring on the Apocalypse! Anyhoo, I heard this commercial about "duckless" air conditioning. Really? Humans actually use ducks for climate control? Do the ducks flap their wings really hard to cool you off? DUCT-less air conditioning, you avian half-wit! Do you realize you have a bush grow-ing out of the back of your head? That's from all the horse manure you put in my brain over the years!

Groovy! - Great Fool Dead by edoggydog 4-17-06

...and why is calling someone a "bird-brain" an insult? The way I see it... Uhhhh... I mean... Whacky! Groovy! Anyhoo... I hear the Dead Sea is "threatened" due to the lack of flowing fresh water! I mean, what's the WORST that can happen? It's already DEAD!! I agree! Wow! He actually agreed with me! Talk about a "bird-brain"! Hmmm... I think the "anti-confrontational therapy" my psycho-hypnotist did on me is making me a little TOO nice!

Groovy! - Return of the Bird Brain by edoggydog 2-10-20

I heard on the news that police officers were fired upon by a couple of shooters, and that other officers engaged the shooters... Groovy! What I don't understand is why any cop would want to marry someone who was trying to kill him! No, you dumb bird brain... Engaging the shooters means the police were firing back at them! Oh. Never mind. I swear, you are stupider than Brad Pitt's stupider brother, Stu Pitt!

Groovy! - Let's pop some corn and watch gay sex videos by edoggydog 2-22-20

I saw a video on Facebook of a comfort pony playing in snow for the first time who goes by the name "Cockporn"... Groo-wait. What? Who the hell names their comfort pony Cockporn?? And what does it comfort you through? Watching gay sex videos?? Do they let kids pet Cockporn??? Wouldn't that be a form of child molestation??? The pony's name is POPCORN, you dumb birdbrain! Well, in that case, never mind! Is there really such a thing as cock porn? I have to check this out!

Groovy! - Is this really NASA-ssary??? by edoggydog 4-23-22

...and that's when I realized the whore only married me for my bird seed! Groovy! Anyhoo... What's this I hear NASA wants to send uncrude rockets into space? I mean, what are they going to do? Put their rockets through finishing school? Not uncrude, bird brain! UnCREWED. NASA want to launch rockets without crews in them! What do they have against Tom Cruise? Or Terry Crews, for that matter?? I need to go take a crude shit!