Being moderator is a lonely job. I have to wonder what sorts of fun stuff is going on in this thread while I'm not reading it. Mind you, I'm not saying I don't want to win again.
This was a good contest. Thanks to everyone who participated. As usual, the difficult part about choosing a winner is the fact that I can only choose one winner. But I'm comfortable with my choice.
descolada99: If they do make one for guys, I'm not sure I want it. Creative solution to a perennial problem, though. Who needs Viagra when you have oaken wildlife?
ObiJo: None of those things are vegetables. You're disqualified. (Actually, bonus points for the working it into the story so seamlessly.)
Lordfly: Using the prison background for a school = nice. I'm glad they hadn't discovered all 347 tenses yet when I was taking foreign language classes.
Big Evil Dan: Be careful not to scratch that "All your base" sign; I'll be needing it. I don't want to know what you used the giant cucumber for, though.
Bottlerockett: The idea of "wooden badger" being a street name for some drug is hilarious.
bikity: I can see how cross-dressing might take the terrifying edge off a skeleton. But y'know, when you think about it, a wooden badger is sort of like a skeleton. At least the picture on Gabe's page is.
Fracture: I thought you promised me you'd never tell anyone about that incident. (Zero Wing + Wizard of Oz = funny.)
gabe_billings: Mad props for combining profanity and mythology in the same sentence. Kids would probably pay a lot more attention to the Trojan War story if it were told that way. You should talk to a publisher.
wirthling: "How 'bout a cupcake, hideous specter?" is one of the funniest single sentences I've read in a while.
bunnerabb: I've never seen a rat bugger off up a pipe, but it was vivid imagery nonetheless.
Panky: Please tell me that's not the going rate. What would you have to do for an ounce?
Dogcow: I don't even want to think about the mechanics of a small metal chamber that enlarges one's phallus.
Now I'll post the strip I made. I know you'll all scroll right past it to see if you won, but this helps prolong the suspense. :P
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!