So this isn't rules-compliant. As if I care.

Alternate History: Why Woodstock Failed by kaufman 1-17-02

Ladies and Gentlemen: Country Joe and the Fish! Gimme a B!  B!  Gimme a U!  U!  You get the idea. Gimme an R!  R!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Here, Dan, You Can Have This One. by kaufman 1-17-02

One day at the ranch, my pardner's statin...' I said them turbines ain't generatin'. Rotors alone won't make gravitons. I asked him what the fuck drugs he was on. BURMA SHAVE. WILLLLBURRR!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC93: Look Manly with Burma Shave by fpd 1-17-02

Here's your chance to be da man. With every girl your adoring fan. Be the one they want to see. Just use our product. That's the key. All the girls will surely rave ... Once you use some Burma Shave.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

CC 93: Shouldn't This Be An Ad For Preparation H? by israphael 1-17-02

TO POKE SPANKLING WITH MY TOOL, I THOUGHT WOULD BE A LARK, SO ONE NIGHT TO FULFILL MY PLAN, I STROLLED TO THE PARK, UNFORTUNATELY THERE WAS NO MOON AND IT WAS VERY DARK, BY DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT, WHO'S STUCK TO MY PRONG, ITSCLARK. Burma Shave. Can someone help me here? I'm really hurting here!

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC93: Burma Shave gives you that he-man look by fpd 1-18-02

Testosterone is what makes a man lose his hair. So the he-man look is a crown that's all bare. You can be the Alpha Male on your block. Just have no hair, not even one lock. Don't let yourself look like a sissified knave. Take it all off with Burma Shave.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Didn't mean to pick on you, fpd, you're just the comic above this.

CC 93: Removal of hair with a blade in Southeastern Asia by kaufman 1-18-02

Testosterone is what makes a man go bald. So the he-man look is a crown that's shiny. You can be the Alpha Male on your street. Just have no hair, not even one tress. BURMA SHAVE. CUT! You're all fired. Casting, get me some stegosaurs, triceratops, velociraptors, anything but these damned thesauruses!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Sorry

CC 93: Burma Shave by Bazilla 1-18-02

So, you decided to shave. Rather than go out and bathe. You could've stayed and pissed your pants.... ....then have it filled with ants. Burma Shave. Burma Shave?

Very, very sorry.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Best contest ever.

CC 93: Ad infinitem by NeoVid 1-18-02

When traveling around, DH was busted... They didn't even give him a chance... He later found out the cause of arrest... He had crack sticking out of his pants. Burma Shave. And you're dead. It's worth it.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

quote:

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What's your address, xpac?

-DH1

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Let me answer that with another entry.

Address to the Globe by xpac 1-18-02

I live on 420 Eat Shit Street In the city whose name is Suck My Teet In Go Rape A Red Robot Square In The Ass County, Alabam On Planet Like I Give A Mother Fucking Son Of A Bitch Shitty Little Damn! Burma Shave. Moh.

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we're sending our love down the WE-ELL-ELL-ELL! WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!

Ta-da!

CC 93: Another weak attempt. by Lordfly 1-18-02

When your wife says you're getting a little fuzzy... And the tech support guys are calling you SCSI... And you're starting to resemble... oh, now, who was he... That's my cousin Chuck, he looks so bad 'cause he... Do you have any idea how hard it is to rhyme "SCSI"? Didn't use Burma Shave! Moh.

it sounded better in my head...

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Lordfly http://www.option42.com/ MSN: lordfly1@hotmail.com ICQ: 174581 AIM: JoshEikenberry

Black To The Basics by TheElPaso 1-18-02

Oh my god, I feel real sick! Stinkbombing DH was my best trick! I'm so sick, I'm turning yeller! So that makes you a man of color! Burma Shave. Needs more sodomy, but other than that it's the best there is, was, and ever will be. Can I eat you now?

Shave and Shave Millenium Shave by TheElPaso 1-18-02

MY DICK IS ALWAYS WAY TOO HAIRY YES, VERY VERY VERY IF ONLY MY DICK WERE CLEAN AS A BUCKET THERE'S A CHANCE I JUST MIGHT SUCK IT! No wonder I don't suck dick. Oh no DH-01's gonna show me his cockring, I hope he uses Burma Shave (unlike me)

Shave and a Moron - Two Bit! by TheElPaso 1-18-02

Sometimes I feel like I'm just a hammer slave. Burma Shave That's your first line, and your second line is just one word, I already know. Moh. It says here those are your only lines, how you like that, you half wit? Shit.

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

Don McCLEAN by Nostalgia_Man 1-20-02

A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that Burma made me Shave And I remember if I had my chance I could shave my balls with Dave. And maybe they'll be happy for a while. But February made me shiver. With every cut that would deliver. Bad news on the doorstep. Bloodspots were on every step.

Don McCLEAN 2 by Nostalgia_Man 1-20-02

I can remember that I cried. When I saw the blood deep outside. But something touched me deep inside. The day my beard went aside. And they were singing "Bye bye Mr beard o' hair You used to be there, but now you're bear." Burma Shave.

I hope my first attempt follows the rules.

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When you want to grin, it's time to swing.

CC93: The Cleveland SC munch (based on a true story) by lara7 1-20-02

(Pretend these are Bunner and Lemur) When meeting in the Cleveland town Watch the drinks that you throw down Or find yourself in Bunner's bed And we'll imply that you got head Did Bunner shave?

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

MOHH OMLO AND HIS "AMAZING FREINDS" Episode 51 by Mentski 1-20-02

Congratulations, so I'm told... Stripcreator's one year old! But now the strips don't hold surprises... 'cos everyone just plagiarises. Burma Shave? Just piss off, will you?

'Ski

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mentski.co.uk - Home of Rubbish. NOEL STILL LOVES YOU

Okay, I thought I'd try a long form epic, just to see if I could do it. I know it's not great, but I thought I'd give my mad rhyming skillz a workout.

Saturday Night's Alright For A Fight, Part 1. by TheBlairZip 1-18-02

A Lover's Quarrel... You're crass and brass with no class, you ass! Don't sass me with your old bullshit! But hear, my dear, a story so queer with which this balladeer shall try not to push it. That was a stretch, you wretch, to fetch a rhyme to catch the judge's eye. Your pardon, I cry! But why should I but try to fly away from the subject you deny? Oh, speak, you freak, you meekish geek, what bleak tale do you spin? I say, I pray, that I may sway you, much to your chagrin.

Saturday Night's Alright For A Fight, Part 2 by TheBlairZip 1-18-02

The argument gets nasty... I swear to God, you clod, I'll rip your cod sack from your groin! Blow me wholly, thoroughly cornhole me, I tell thee, you shan't cajole me, mein freund! I will not stand for any more of this asinine degredation. How soon you forget, my dear, of my rudiment, "Self-improvement is masterbation"

Saturday Night's Alright For A Fight, Part 3 by TheBlairZip 1-18-02

As the Night grows late, the lovers still debate... Is it true? Are we through? The time flew when we were together. Seems like a dream that gleems above the rest...when we met at that bar at the beach, Merriweathers. It was you that I sought, so I bought you that shot and brought it to your table. The band, the sand, a kiss of your hand...a dance, though I didn't think I was able. We stumbled and fumbled and bumbled our way out on to the dance floor. From the dance to your glance, a bulge grew in my pants. Then I knew it was time to score!

Saturday Night's Alright For A Fight, Part 4 by TheBlairZip 1-21-02

It's Love... Could it be that we were meant to be? Our love should we try to save? If it's fate, let's not wait, time for you and I to mate! Let's celebrate with our favorite activity.... ...or is it? NIGHT SWIMMING! BURMA SHAVE!!! No. WHAT? ------------------------------------------ My name is Crystal! Ummm....Janine? --------------------------- D'OH!

I'm open to insults and abuse.

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

RAAR! TOBOR NEEDS SOMEONE OPEN TO ABUSE!

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

D'OH! Umm...gotta go.

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

Someone's already started CC94 despite not having even entered this one. Talk about confidence.

CC93: Needs More Sodomy by fuzzyman 1-21-02

If lots of spanking... ...is your mission... Just pinch my nips... ...for true submission! Burma Slave! That's Burma SHAVE, worm!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Had I not a splitting headache, I would violate his personal space.

With a broom handle.

-DH1

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Needs more sodomy.

CC93: Dead To Rights by fuzzyman 1-21-02

If the cost of burial... ...makes you pensive... ...get buried in Burma... ...It's less expensive! Burma Grave! Moh!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC93: Burma... Burma... Burma... by fuzzyman 1-21-02

At the game... ...sit up and down... ...raise your arms... Act like a clown! Burma Wave! Moh!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

If Fuzzyman/Funnyman doesn't win after "Needs more Sodomy," then there is no god.

Upon reviewing the thread, I find mine awfully similar DexX's "Community Service" strip. I guess I should have read the strips submitted before I did mine...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC93: Maybe She's Italian by fuzzyman 1-22-02

If your wife... ...has hairy gams... ...and she's got legs... ...the size of hams... Bertha Shave! ..and she needs a shower, too!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.