McMazzart Gets Wood
Rolling Stone, July 2002 - Cover Story
While recent financial disasters have sent the music industry reeling, and countless musicians wondering just what went wrong, Wolfgang McBazzart is pondering the future, reports Randy Crotchgrab from Los Angeles.
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I am sitting in a pleasant but downmarket outdoor cafe in Hollywood. It's a beautiful day, and the pretty young waitress smiles as she approaches with a tray. She doesn't seem to recognise the man sitting opposite me. He is unshaven, his hair is a bit too long and rather untidy, and his clothes do not shout "star", but rather mutter "second hand" under their breath. Never the less, this is one of the music world's new up-and-comers - Wolfgang McBazzart.
"We all got burnt," he says in a mater-of-fact tone. "I don't think anyone will ever know what really happened." He refers to the recent disaster in the international recording community, which has sent major labels bankrupt, and ruined the hopes of many rising stars. McBazzart, a twenty-two year old Australian who was playing local pubs and recording demos at home only last year, is famous for his temper and attitude. His public fights, excessive profanity, and bizarre personal habits have probably contributed to his fame (or possibly infamy) as much as his avant-garde rock music.
"I was one of the lucky ones," he continues, sipping his milky tea in between phrases. "My newest single was selling well, and, well, it's f--ked now, but I got a few good weeks out of it. Some others I could name, well... Everyone knows I like to tease Eternity [Richardson] but she suffered. She put a lot of heart and soul into the latest Bluebec album, and all that work is just gone. The rumour I heard is that her master tapes were eaten. Can you believe that?"
The topic has been covered exhaustively in both music and mainstream press, but McBazzart is correct - nobody knows what happened, why so much work was lost, and why so many compact discs just vanished. He may be right about more than that, too. Perhaps we will never know. Even so, this is not the topic I have come to discuss, and I prod McBazzart about his new project.
He smiles sheepishly, a mix of excitement and embarrassment. "Well, it's kind of silly. The whole music disaster got me thinking about the supernatural and alien abductions and stuff, which in turn got me thinking about the greatest film ever made on the topic - Edward D. Wood Jr.'s Plan 9 From Outer Space. I have always admired the rock operas of The Who, and [Jeff Wayne's musical version of the] War of the Worlds had a great influence on my music. Well, I asked around, called in some favours, and spent some money." He pauses and grins over his steaming tea.
"I'm doing the musical. That's right, Plan 9 From Outer Space - The Musical." He peeks over his sunglasses at me, and the boyish thrill is evident on his face. After further conversation, it becomes apparent that he honestly loves the film, a D-grade black and white science fiction film from the fifties, which many have claimed is the worst film, and it's director the most inept, in cinematic history.
McBazzart gulps the last of his tea and continues excitedly. "I'm not staging the musical yet, of course. I have obtained the rights, and I have three tracks written. Rehearsals have started on those, and I am busily writing the rest of the songs and libretto. In two months, everyone is going to be listening to what will essentially be a concept album, a soundtrack-before-the-fact, if you like."
Despite his conspiratorial tones, the news has alrady been broken, and the reponse has been doubtful at best. Long-time rival Richardson is reported to have told a roadie that "...he should have done a real classic, like Spaceballs." Executives at Baroquen Records, McBazzart's long-suffering label, have said that, no matter how good the songs may turn out, retro-geek musicals are doomed. They cite industry legend Spewie Lewis's failed attempt to stage his own musical of the semi-pornographic cult film Caligula, and Hold My Kitty keyboardist Chunky Litterbox's financial disaster that followed the preview staging of his supposed "opus", Tron On Ice.
Even so, Wolfgang McBazzart is confident and enthusiastic. "I have some great stars already signed up to do the leads. Oh, you'll never guess who I got for Criswell." He actually bounces in his seat as he speaks, like a child on the way to the circus. "This will be big," he says with another big grin. "Just you wait. Big!"
Randy Crotchgrab is a freelance industry journalist, based in Los Angeles
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