ok, ok, one more!

Like a Duracell bunny by skagg 5-26-01

...and one for you... ...and one for me... Dad, just make him shut up!! ...and one for you...

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

I've actually seen a couple of good Jesus strips before... the best one I ever ran across was "Sigh... this is one shitty way to spend Easter."

Well, I doubt I'll ever be able to come up with Jesus strips that are better than these:

Spirit guide, part 1 by NeoVid 4-22-01

My life has been feeling pointless, so I came to you for advice... You realize I have a lot of these appointments to keep, right? Well, I guess you would... Right, so if you're OK with slightly lower-class spiritualism, you can talk to my little brother about your troubles. I have a really bad feeling about this... Yo. I'm Bob of Nazareth.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

And sadly, this is the best one I've done. And you've seen it before.

Spirit guide, part 2 by NeoVid 4-22-01

A depressed Jon talks with his new advisor, Jesus' brother Bob. So drinking more will solve all of my problems? Naw, but it'll give you something to blame besides yerself... ...Are you sure you're related to Jesus? You don't seem to have the love of mankind thing going on. Hey, I love Mick Foley! And I like my brother... he's just kind of snotty about stuff..... Bob thinks back to an argument they had in the past. He always wins these fights with the same damn comeback... Dad loves me more.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

*sigh* caving to peer pressure to produce Jesus comics...

Random Comic! I Apologize for This One. Really. by Scyess 5-05-01

Hey, Jesus. That cross is looking pretty ragged. Aren't you going to get a new one? Naw, they're too expensive. Hi, Jesus. Is that you're '78 Pinto parked over there? Yeah. I'm waiting for a dip in auto prices before I buy a new one. Little known fact: not only does Jesus save, he's downright miserly. Hi, Jesus! Want to buy some of my girl scout cookies? What? Do I look like I'm made of money?

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"Old" is the old new.

Since everyone's doing it...

Job interview at the League of Superheroes II... by wirthling 2-08-01

So, Mr. Of-Nazareth, what are your qualifications? I once fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. I can turn water into wine. I can walk on water. I can also heal lepers and blind people and once raised a man from the dead. I myself rose from the dead. I am the son of God. OK, the party tricks and family connection are worth something, I suppose, but can you do anything to our enemies like shoot lightning bolts out of your eyes or melt their brains with your mind? Uh, no...Did I mention that I can do carpentry, too?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

you mean this one?

You're all coming with me in the big bus to hell. by mode80 1-07-01

..sigh.. This is such a shitty way to spend Easter.

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

you mean this one?

You're all coming with me in the big bus to hell. by mode80 1-07-01

..sigh.. This is such a shitty way to spend Easter.

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

i just can't resist the jesus comics, please dont DQ me for using too many, just pick your fave of mine and have that one entered

Joe Pasquali (sp) by skagg 5-27-01

I know a song that'll get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves... ...I know a song that'll get on yer nerves, get-get-get on yer nerves... If only I could reach my ears with my fingers! ...I know a song that'll get on yer nerves...

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

if its jesus comics youre looking for...

http://www.stripcreator.com/comiclist.php?author=tafkad

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

Yet more evidence why I am going to hell...

Disney World's least favorite theme park... by wirthling 5-27-01

What the hell are you supposed to be? Some kind of hippie scarecrow? No, I'm Jesus Christ, your savior. Welcome to Salvation Land, little girl! Oh... Are there any cool rides in Salvation Land?? Um, no, but we do have bible study classes and a swell christian choir! Salvation Land sucks. I can't wait 'til they promote me to Goofy...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

And another...

Disney World's other least favorite theme park... by wirthling 5-27-01

I hate Salvation Land! It ain't worth 6 bucks an hour to put on this costume, get nailed to a cross, and have kids throw rocks at your nuts... Hey, it's 150 degrees inside this Cthulhu costume! I wish all I had to wear was a loincloth, nuts be damned! Say, by the way, what kind of rides do you guys have over there at the Land of Lost Souls? We don't have any rides. When kids wander in, we just impale them on rusty spikes or squirt sulphuric acid on them... Sweet! Yeah, if only they ventilated this costume, I would have the perfect job...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

This one isn't about Jesus and it isn't particularly funny, but here it is anyway...

The other famous crucified guy... by wirthling 5-28-01

OK, which one of you is Spartacus? I'm Spartacus! No, I'm Spartacus! No, it's me! I'm Spartacus! Among his fellow rebel slaves, Pussilus was not known for his bravery... No, I'm the real Spartacus! Dude, I am so NOT Spartacus it ain't even funny! Can I go now?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

...and one last one for tonight...

The Bible's Funniest Bloopers... by wirthling 5-28-01

Take 1...and...ACTION! Father, forgive them, for they don't not know, uh, I mean, they know not now -- oh crap. Line? HAHAHAHAHA! Take 2...and...ACTION! Father, (giggle) forgive them (giggle) -- damn it, Simon! Stop smiling, you bastard! HAHAHAHA! AAAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, man! I'll behave... Take 3...and...ACTION! ...HAR HAR HEE HEE HEEEE! I'm dyin' over here! HOOOOO! "Dying over here!" BWAHAHAHAAAA!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=18478

CC32 - Forgive me father, for I wrote this strip... by DexX 5-28-01

As a youth, Jesus found it hard to fit in with his peers... Okay, we'll play two-on-two. I'm with Grimmers... Aaww, Big C, you _know_ I don't like that name. Can'tcha call me Reap Man? Ah, stop whining - he calls me Lucy! Now, where's the ball? We gonna start playing now or what? Hey, JC! Don't forget to keep your mouth open really wide! *sigh* I hate basketball...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Ok. Finally stopped being a slacker long enough to crank out a comic.

CC32: We're All Going to Hell by gabe_billings 5-28-01

B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-o! B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-o! I'm bored. What should we do now? I dunno. How 'bout another flood? Haha! Remember last time, how long it took Noah to clean out that fucking ark! Hehe! I'll go get the hose.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

What the hell, it's not everyday a "submit more than one if you want, but please don't kill me" contest comes along.

Please No Smiting by ObiJo 5-28-01

Hear the one about the man crucified to save all of humanity? No? Haven't heard that one, huh? WELL IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I wrote this one because I'm the only person who still likes Tobor jokes, and wanted to torment you all.

Tobor meets his match. by ObiJo 5-28-01

RAAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU! Aaah! I'm getting out of here! RAAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU! I just wet myself! RAAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU! RAAAAAR! JESUS WILL SMITE THEE!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Dude, there are a lot of good ones, don't think this will win, but it's worth a shot, eh?

Not intended to offend... I like the guy too. by BigMe68 5-15-01

All right guys, this isn't funny anymore...

Here we are:

First try at this.

Doh...for my first post I give you...a extranious link not needed...grrr.

Ok...to repost using the "rules of the house":

Such A Funny Guy by Mutha 5-28-01

So,,,I say, "Hey...who did you expect...Jesus? He says, "yes"...Bwahahahahaha! Well..I guess you had to be there

Could be worse, could be a crosswalk.

Signs of the Times by kaufman 5-29-01

FOUR-WAY INTERSECTION! FOUR-WAY-INTERSECTION! These damned gas prices. Who'd have thought I'd need to take a second job to make ends meet, and as a fucking road sign! FOUR-WAY INTERSECTION! FOUR-WAY-INTERSECTION! Tell me about it! CAUTION, MOWING AHEAD!

==Ken

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

When,
oh when,
will this contest
ever end!

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"Old" is the old new.

quote:

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Judging will be uh... some time after 7pm CDT on Wednesday 5/30/01.

quote:

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When,
oh when,
will this contest
ever end!

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Ooh! Spicy!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

...I meant it more of a cry in pain from the glut of Jesus comics than as an actual question, although I admit I didn't know the answer. Now I do. My life is complete.

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"Old" is the old new.