... life, being just a momentary respite from the void of a senseless nonexistence, is a precious gift, but is also hellishly short; thus we mustn't fritter away our brief period of sentience on petty, empty endeavors, such as spending all our time posting sarcastic messages on the forum of a comic strip site, but should, instead, make heartful connections with our fellow men, strive for peace, search for enlightenment, or, short of that, at least try and get Brazilian triplets into bed at the same time, recording the event with a digital...
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Ham-fisted ham fisting.