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Stripcreator » Fights Go Here » Fat chicks. -rant-

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pigwater
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Today… I talk to you about fat chicks.

There is simply NO excuse for a girl to be overweight. I don’t care if you have to starve yourself Ethiopia-style… I don’t care if you have to forgo eating for a month to the point where any morsel of food looks like a fucking bar of twenty-four karat gold.

STOP FUCKING EATING YOU FAT COW!

Next time you want to lie on the couch watching Trading Spaces and eat an entire sleeve of Ritz Crackers with half a jar of FUCKING peanut butter… DON’T!

Hey I have an idea… how about you get a motherfucking salad instead of a 5,000 calorie FatbitchBurger next time you sit down to gorge your fat fucking face.

Oh yeah I almost forgot… They’re called GODDAMN SIT UPS!! Do a few once in awhile! It’s a Stairmaster not a GODDAMN torture device!! Suck it up and work off your goddamn FLAB!

I’m sick to GODDAMN DEATH of seeing a girl who has an attractive face and then seeing her naked and wondering how this girl could have slipped an ass that’s two fucking lanes wide into size 6 jeans. Oh yeah that’s right because you can squeeze all your goddamn cellulite and your bullshit gut underneath some carefully-tailored clothes and a loose sweater cause “it’s chilly out”, right? You fucking whore. I HATE YOU.

We get to your place and you’ll all fucking excited because you got a good-looking skinny guy back to your fucking lair of obesity and you’re hoping I’m drunk enough not to notice. So you don’t take your clothes off until we’re in bed and when we’re done you walk to the bathroom and YOUR FUCKING HUGE BELUGA ASS CHEEKS GET STUCK IN THE GODDAMN DOORFRAME! Jesus CHRIST!

Now I know how these fucking Iraqis feel in the Shock and Awe campaign!! You think everything’s alright and them all of a sudden KAPLAOW!! HUGE ASS IN YOUR FACE!! Next time this happens to me I’m gonna wait till Jabba The FatCunt gets back into bed and suggest we go again. Before she knows what hit her BOOM! DONKEY PUNCH! Then I'm going to steal all your money and throw all your food away.

That’ll teach you to get your low fat dressing on the side you fucking she-mammoth.

I’m not done yet. I’ve devised a plan to rid the world of all these fucking Manatees-in-skirts. I’ve purchased a very sharp sword and LOTS of face and body paint. Starting next week, I am going to have my entire body from the waist up painted in medieval-style warrior patterns with lots of skulls. Then I’m going to put a Speedo on and hop on my motorcycle with my sword.

This is where the good shit starts…

I’m going to ride up and down a main road screaming at all the fat tourist chicks and all the fat fucking I’m-so-fat-I-have-to-be-winched-out-of-my-car-seat whores and I’m going to slice right through their blubber, leaving them holding their intestines and screaming for a donut.

Then I’m going to collect their fat fucking heads with 5 fucking chins and fat fucking guts and string them in a line behind my motorcycle and drag them along behind me on a MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN!

Here’s my point:

If you are fat--and you know who you are--do one of two things. If you have a cute face and just need to lose a few pounds… STOP EATING and get on a goddamn treadmill. Don't get off until you pass out or you lose the weight. If it would help for me to chase you around with a fucking bat for exercise we can do that too… but if I catch you I’m going to slap you across the face with my schlong and berate you for being a fatass for no less than half an hour.

If you have an ugly face or are just hopelessly obese, just do me and all other men a favor and fucking kill yourself. You offer nothing to society besides your ability to take up more than one seat on the bus and your mind-blowing capacity to consume 14,000 calories in a single sitting at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Go hang yourself.

Better yet, carve “I am a fat fucking whore and am of no use to society” across your fat fucking ass and shoot yourself with a goddamn glock. Because if I see you walking down the street eating a goddamn corndog like it’s the last piece of food on earth… your fat ***ing thighs wiggling like goddamn Jell-O… I’m going to cut your head off with a sword.

Watch me you fat bitch. Fuck you and have a nice day.

---
Nein. www.whitefyre.com/boards

5-11-03 4:36pm (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

SHUT UP! SHUUUT UP!!!!!!!!!!

5-11-03 4:53pm (new)
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not_Scyess
not laughing with you

Member Rated:

Someone watches too many low-budget stand-up comics. Even your vagina rant was better than this.

Maybe you should be posting these at doesmycomdeysuckornot.com.

Oh, and yes, it sucks.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

5-11-03 7:41pm (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

I like fat chicks. They got something to hold on to.

5-11-03 7:44pm (new)
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PandaSteak
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Whoa, this isn't me. This is a different idiot, an even more powerful idiot than I.

---
Panda Steak - It's what's for dinner! http://www.pandasteak.tk

5-11-03 8:26pm (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

I like fat chicks.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

5-11-03 8:56pm (new)
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joshw
I'm spooky.

Member Rated:

Pigwater, you aren't just a pretentious, feebleminded fuckwit. You are the pretentious, feebleminded fuckwit.

Where the hell do you get off thinking that women are on this earth to please you? If you don't like "fat chicks" then don't look at them. It's that easy. Nobody here needed to know that you have something against overweight women. As it turns out, a lot of us would have been better off had we not read your abhorrent lecture. What made you feel the need to fling yourself into a frat-boy, "NO FAT CHICKS" tirade anyway? Nobody said anything about obese women, but there you go with a dumbass remark about how much you hate them. This is the kind of thing that pisses me off the most. I just can't stand any type of sexism AT ALL. Be it because they are overweight, underweight, black, white, christian, jewish, straightedge...anything. As some of you may remember, I kind of flew into a rage of sorts when fuck called his girlfriend his bitch. This is just a small example of the measures I'll go to when it comes to sexism. I just can't stand it.

I sincerely hope that when you die, it is the most agonizingly painful experience that anyone has ever went through since the beginning of time, and I, along with many others, will be standing there laughing at you for the duration of it.

Now, you either drop the attitude, or depart from this site. Otherwise you'll just end up like so many other newbie cretins that have "graced" the message boards of stripcreator.com

---
:\

5-11-03 11:12pm (new)
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Devin
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

See, I'm not falling for the trap this time. I have my downloads off.

So, without further ado, I present the shock therapy treatment for pigwater:

5-12-03 1:04am (new)
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kramer_vs_kramer
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Josh, I can't believe you fell for that.

5-12-03 1:33am (new)
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joshw
I'm spooky.

Member Rated:

What exactly is it that I fell for?

I don't know who this guy is. I don't care who this guys is. I don't care if this was supposed to be a joke. It is just not cool.

---
:\

5-12-03 9:32am (new)
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Devin
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

pigwater is k_v_k. Didn't you get the memo?

But I think what kramer meant was not to get so riled up. Like you said, you don't know or care who this guy is.

5-12-03 9:41am (new)
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pigwater
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

1. I am no one except pigwater.

2. I hate fat guys too.

Anybody fat should be lynched.

---
Nein. www.whitefyre.com/boards

5-12-03 10:52am (new)
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Devin
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

Aw, are the fat kids picking on you at school? There, there...

5-12-03 10:57am (new)
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pigwater
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

I have long since been out of school, junior.

---
Nein. www.whitefyre.com/boards

5-12-03 10:59am (new)
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Devin
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

What, stay in school! Don't drop out because the fat kids are picking on you!

5-12-03 11:03am (new)
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pigwater
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

....And here comes the steady downhill decent in your insults. Sad, really.

---
Nein. www.whitefyre.com/boards

5-12-03 11:08am (new)
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joshw
I'm spooky.

Member Rated:

I realize I said that. I still care about what he said. His remark was incredibly offensive to me and, without a doubt, alot of other people on the site.

Geez. Standing up for what you believe is right is totally lame.

Oh, and as for pigwater. I hope that aformentioned painful death I wished upon you is inflicted by fat people. That'd be sweet irony.

---
:\

5-12-03 11:08am (new)
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pigwater
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Ouch, that *almost* hurt.

---
Nein. www.whitefyre.com/boards

5-12-03 11:12am (new)
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joshw
I'm spooky.

Member Rated:

You know what?

I respect you. You don't call people "fucking faggots" like so many other newbs who anger the vets.

But why is it you hate fat people? They reall ydon't harm you unless, like Devin said, you get beat up by them. But I doubt you do, because you said yourself you aren't in school. Seldom do skinny people get beat up in public by fat people unless they do something to provoke it.

---
:\

5-12-03 11:17am (new)
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pigwater
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Yeah, I try not to sink down to their level of petty insults.

AND..

I don't REALLY hate fat people. It's just fun writing something like this and watching everyone take it seriously.

---
Nein. www.whitefyre.com/boards

5-12-03 11:20am (new)
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joshw
I'm spooky.

Member Rated:

Word.

I guess I blew it out of proportion, but like I said, I just can't stand any sort of sexism at all.

---
:\

5-12-03 11:23am (new)
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andydougan
Film critic subordinaire

Member Rated:

Typical male.

5-12-03 11:40am (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

pigwater is probably fat himself.

5-12-03 11:45am (new)
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pigwater
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Nah, I'm not fat.

---
Nein. www.whitefyre.com/boards

5-12-03 11:48am (new)
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Devin
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

No, he's just traumatized ever since the fat kids dragged him behind a bush and-- WATCH OUT! THERE'S A FAT KID BEHIND YOU!

5-12-03 12:00pm (new)
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Stripcreator » Fights Go Here » Fat chicks. -rant-


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