Contest 201: Fecal matters. by habnem 7-30-03

Hey man--did you listen to my CD? Yeah. It was the shit! Really? I thought my examination of the meaning of existence as viewed through a metaphor of '80s cartoons might be a bit much for people to handle. I'm sorry. Did I say "the" shit?

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Happy Jack's Last Days by Spankling 7-30-03

*sigh* Happy Jack is feeling a little down today kid. Is it the voices in your head again Happy? No. My Doctor says I only got a month to live. He says I got cancer. Gosh. That's rough, Happy. *sniff. Thanks little girl. You don't know how much it means to have at least one... Would you mind selling me a few of your oil paintings before you die. I bet they'll be worth a mint by Thanksgiving.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Happy Jack's Last Days II by Spankling 7-30-03

*sigh* You don't rEEEEALLy care about ole Happy Jack! You jus want to get rich! No! Really! I love you Happy Jack! Go ahead. Do one of your favorite bits for me. I love you. *sniff* Really? Really little girl? Sure Happy! You're the best! Well then. Here's a song I feel deeply right now... o/` EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE ONLY MAKE BELIEVING... O/` Fuck it! I'll get rich giving hand jobs before I stand around litstening to this crap!

Happy had one more comin.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC 201: loads of fun by boinky33 7-31-03

My art is misunderstood. I don't do it for the money, I do it for the joy it brings me. How much for that goat statue made of feces? 2 million dollars, please.

My poems are not appreciated.

boinky's poems: almost perfect by boinky33 7-11-03

Your eyes are beautiful and blue. Your lips are pouty and red. Your hair is so silky and smooth. Your skin is so soft and firm. Yes, you're almost perfect. I just hope you get that penis thing looked at....

haiku time 1 by boinky33 7-01-03

Colin Mochrie his home is a cardboard box but he doesn't mind.

Other people did ballon animals.

Cunty the clown makes his premire by boinky33 7-06-03

Yahoo, kiddies! Cunty the clown is here! Cunty, will you make me a ballon animal? Ok, little girl. Here you go, it's a worm! It's just a condom.... Well, we better put it to good use then. Come to my van!

Cunty the clown is just trying to entertain.

Cunty the clown strikes back! by boinky33 7-07-03

Hello Cunty, I am a concerned mother. I would like to have a chat with you. Anything for a pair of tits. Well, it's just that you are kind of scaring my little girl.... Oh, please! Look at me, I'm a happy little clown! What could scare her? She said she woke up last night and you were combing her hair. Yeah, about that....could I have a set of house keys so I don't have to sneak through the window?

And nobody appreciates my movie idea.

A scene from: "Dude, Where's My Cock?" by boinky33 7-07-03

Here's the last of your luggage, big Tony! SLAM! AHHHHHH!!!!!! SCREEEECH!!!! MY DIIIIIICK!!!!!!!!!!

I'd hire this guy by boinky33 6-15-03

Why did the chicken cross the road? WELL? I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!

angry comedian by boinky33 6-15-03

What's with those airline peanuts? They are so damn hard to open! I...HATE...THEM...SO...MUCH! ***ZOOP!*** RAAA!!!! HULK SMASH!!!!

(I can't believe it was boinky who reminded me...)

I have a few old ones that I'm not proud of, but they seem to fit the bill for the contest. That way I don't acutually have to make an effort to enter later.

Just for Fun #3 by flickguy 7-24-01

So this guy walks into a bar. He died. So did you -- about three jokes ago.

Just for Fun #4 by flickguy 7-24-01

Open Mike Night at the Comedy Club What did one microphone say to the other microphone? Nothing. Microphones can't talk! Lucky for you.

Just for Fun #6 by flickguy 7-25-01

Open Mike Night Continues Why did the chicken cross the road? No, really -- I want to know. Doesn't the chicken know that 99% of all non-food related chicken deaths occur due to negligent road crossing? What was he thinking?? Is this thing on? Unfortunately.

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This is not my empire.

I want Cunty the Clown on my lunchbox!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Here's the first comic I ever made (well... the slightly updated version). I feel it is apropriate here as well.

The Greatest Show In The World! by Rabid_Weasle 4-12-03

Ta-da!

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Poop.

CC 201: Radical Art by jes_lawson 7-31-03

The name's Bubbles. So what are you in for, slim? Radical Art crime! I wrapped the Reichstag in brown paper! But...but that's not at all radical! That's been done before! Ah, but then I filled it with dog poop and set it on fire! You...? Back in '95 I sawed Bea Arthur in half and put her in a tank of formaldehyde! Then I shot her out of a cannon! What about you, mac? Dudes! I got busted for trying to reform Partners in Kryme! Man, they are SO RAD!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC 201: Student Art Film by Rabid_Weasle 7-31-03

My soul is an empty void. You soul has no feeling. It is empty like the nothingness of infinity. Have you seen the world? I have seen the world. It is inside your soul. Man Rabid, your pretencious student film sucks... Fuck off it's art!

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Poop.

turd burgler by boinky33 12-01-02

scit scat dooby bee bop scittly scat scat boppity bee scootly scootly skeet skat dooby dooby bee bop scit dibby skit skat bobbity scootly WILL YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP?

boinky's rap by boinky33 12-28-02

Doesn't matter bout the crabs I got! I'm still, I'm still boinky on the block! *cough*

Kermit sings the Rainbow Connection by boinky33 5-30-03

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide. So we've been told and some chose to believe it. I know they're wrong wait and see. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me- SHUT THE FUCK UP!

CC 201: film by boinky33 7-31-03

Making an independant film is not easy. You have to put your heart and soul into every minute. Excuse me for a second. I have to film a scene. BRING ON THE LESBIAN NINJA ROBOTS!

the poet by boinky33 9-27-02

Scit Scat Taby Cat. Toaster oven scuba diver! Wombat waffles in a 5 pound sack. With a side of tennis rackets! Horse testicals microwave tuba ANAL SPERM! *snap!* *snap!* *snap!* *Snap!*

That last one made me hungry.

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Poop.

CC 201: Big Red Square by Rabid_Weasle 7-31-03

Behold my latest creation which I have titled, The Chariot Race! It's just a big red square. Absolutely brilliant. Oh! Shit, I forgot to take the sheet off, sorry.

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Poop.

Boinky's Rainbow Connection strip also reminded me of mine.

Kermit Sings by choadwarrior 5-28-03

Why are there so many songs about rainbows... ...and what's on the other side? Prolly cuz the music industry is run by queers like David Geffen. God, I hate rednecks.

Who knew Kermit was such an unappreciated musician. Also who knew Boinky and I were both on the same wavelength, at least for two days in May.

I know it ain't compliant, but I had to...

The Misunderstood Artist by Bargaintuan 7-31-03

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

Ok, I'm judging now because I must drive for ten hours tomorrow. It's 3 AM here, which is morning enough for me.

Right then.

This was very nice to judge, because there weren't ten thousand entries, AND I still laughed.

First off, Bargaintuans Tobor strip made me laugh really really hard. However, I will stick to my rules. I saw that strip in my head and figured somebody would do it, but it was much funnier than anticipated. Good job, Barg.

Ok, onto the three finalists.

Rabid_Weasle for Student Art Film.

Kaufman for A Space Symphony.

NeoVid for Things You Can't Complain About.

and the winner.....

CC 201: A Space Symphony by kaufman 7-29-03

HAL, why did you send all of my shipmates into outer space? Are you too thick-headed to have heard the rhythm and pitch of their screams as I spaced them? I was making a musical masterpiece. Yeah, right. You know as well as I do that in space, no one can hear you scream. Your point being? I was Improving on John Cage's 4'33". Which reminds me, it's time for the final note. ______________

It was just such a crazy idea and "plot" that it had to win. I laughed, then I read it again, then I thought about how ridiculous the whole thing was, yet oddly intelligent.

As they say at the shoplifters convention: "Take it away, Kaufman, preferably hidden in your pants."

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Sex Piano.

Damn, I just came on to enter.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Sorry, dcom.

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Sex Piano.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

But.... but I said CANCER!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Will it make you feel better if I give you a tumour?

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Poop.

A nice fleshy one please... with salt.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet