Unproper Behavior by umfumdisi 8-14-03

Welcome to my cell, phone. I've got your number, so listen to this message to make sure you don't cross any lines, Jack. Okay. I need space to roam, so keep a clear circuit around my personal area. Codes of behavior are strictly enforced. I don't want to hear any back talk or static. Got it. Sometimes I give off mixed signals because I stay so busy, and my thoughts get disconnected. Say, what are you in for anyway? I hacked someone to bits!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 204: Loneliness by Bargaintuan 8-14-03

RING! RING! RING! RING! * sigh *

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

CC 204e: Compliant in spirit... by habnem 8-14-03

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be your professor for this class. Jesus. I figured "Intro to Nihilism" would be an easy A.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Forgive me, Im out of practice.

CC204: Worst comic ever by TheGovernor 8-14-03

Washington DC New York Chicago Hey, whats with all the travelling? I'm a mobile phone!

CC 204f (with apologies to TheGovernor) by habnem 8-14-03

Congratulations on your election, Mr. President! Thank you, but you know me-- I'm an upwardly mobile phone.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

It's not compliant but...

Boom Boom! Geddit? by jes_lawson 1-30-03

Hey you, you byatch pigfucker! Know what I'm gonna do? Fuck your grandad! Hell yeah! Then I'm gonna rape your sister and jizz in your girlfriend's ass! Then I'll shit in a bag and make her eat it! Damn! Hoi! You can't talk to me like that you car seat humping lump of ordance! Hell yeah, I just did, Grandad! I'm a dirty bomb!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC 204 : And the award goes to... by niteowl 8-14-03

And now, the nominees for "Most Destructive Prop To Humans". Contestants, why should you receive this award? I'm fire. I burn and kill. A LOT. Yo, I'm da BOMB. I have the capability to kill hundreds of thousands of people in one fell swoop! Recognize! Hello. I'm a computer. Computers have destroyed 100,000 marriages by way of online dating services, and caused 300,000 men to lose their hair via tearing it out when they received a virus. I'm a TV. I have 4 words for you. The Anna Nicole Show. I think we have a winner!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

2/3 Compliant (0.667 Canadian) by umfumdisi 8-14-03

The hero of my new comic: Iceman! Just refill those ice trays, and we won't have any problems. Iceman's alter ego: Wayne Bruce. I'm a mild-mannered Toilet Brush by day. Iceman's gay sidekick: Rusty Bottoms. Is that a BOMB POP in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 204: Blackout by BigEvilDan 8-15-03

Ahhh... air conditioning at full blast, computer downloading porn at incredible speed, life is great. *BZAP* I blame everyone who isn't me.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Props - check. Mention philosophy - check. Ladies and gentlemen, we have compliance.

CC 204: Being and Nothingness for Dummies by jes_lawson 8-15-03

Ah, another day in cryogenic freeze playing chess and debating the existence of God! Pah! God is dead, life is just a series of meaningless boring interactions. The End. That's preposterous! How can you say that? Easy. No, I meant how can you physically say that? You're a chess board. Yeah right. You're debating philosophy with a talking chessboard... Now who's being preposterous?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Well, it's Judgement Day (except without the Austrian-accented metal meanies)...

There were some very funny entries, and despite my somewhat limited rules, many managed to flout them! A disappointing lack of philosophy-related humour, I felt, but the laughs still kept coming.

Firstly, some honourable mentions...

kaufman for the Props Caucus strip
KungChiFu for the Burning Bush series
umfumdisi for the Always Check Your Machine strip
codehappykid for Evil Chess
Bargaintuan for Loneliness
habnem for Intro To Nihilism
jes_ for Dirty Bomb

Very funny as all of these were, they didn't manage to make it to the winning podium... and so, without further stalling, I present you with our winner!

HABNEM for this masterpiece of punnery:

CtCCC 204: Theoretically speaking... by habnem 8-12-03

Heidegger. I asHume you aren't just Milling about? If you're bored, I could get some Plato, or you could go Schopen. hauer your kids? My name's not Degger, and I don't have any kids. Can you get us out of here? Hobbes some humor, man, and don't put Descartes before the horse. What the Hegel, let's just shoot de Beauvoir. It'll be Nietzsche. Clearly, the low temperature is going to your brain. Stop talking; you'll waste your energy. I Kant. Now, if someone were trying to kill you, would you rather make picard or Kierkegaard? Of all the people to get stuck in a meat locker with, I had to get Ken fucking Kaufman.

I had to reread it several times to get all the puns right, and so for managing to squeeze so many philosopher-puns into a three panel strip whilst still retaining a cutting punchline (sorry, Kaufman), I pronounce you victor of CC204!

Congratulations! CC205 is officially yours.

Da Bomb lives on thanks to niteowl. Recognize. Well done habnem.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

It slipped I swear! Kind of like the time Tobor slipped and accidentally cornholed the marching band.

Anyways, congrats habnem.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.