It was one of the weirdest days I ever had in my life...
**MIST MACHINE**
Hello there sonny, can you help me with my groceries?
Sure ma'am, there's no other greater satisfaction in helping a senior citizen that's probably going to die within this year or so.
So what's so weird about that?
Well, when I was holding the groceries, an orange fell and she tripped on it. She fell flat on her face and a passing car ran her over. But that's really ok, I had Subway for lunch.