UniversalHeretic  

Jesus, is that you?

Drats, I've been spotted!

I thought you ascended bodily into heaven to sit at your father's right hand.

No No. I'm still here on Earth. Things are a bit chaotic in heaven, so I'm laying low for awhile. I've joined a fringe group of my followers

You mean you ...

Yeah, I've joined the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.