Dear Colin: Having left a turd of astonishing diameter lodged in your commode, and with no way to flush it, I found my only recourse was to escape through the window.
I apologize for my rudeness. I am sure you are wondering what sort of monster could produce such a specimen and then leave it there for you to deal with.
I have been wondering the same thing myself, and have developed the habit of avoiding looking directly into mirrors.
Anyway, my disappearance notwithstanding, I hope the dinner party proceeded along pleasant lines...
...although I imagine that rendering the flat's only toilet a stinking horror might have created a bump or two.
says: