Now you go on TV and tell them where Rudolph touched you and where he has the pictures hidden. This should get the media off my back.
No problem Lord Santa.
Then Rudolph said he wanted me to take extremely graphic pictures and touched my left buttock.
The rumors are all true. However, the pictures were not for me at all. They were all for Lord Santa! He said he wanted to get them to stare at while he's running his elvish sweat shop!
