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israphael
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The Tiki Mask Hides My Shame.
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Worst Thing to Say Trying to Get Sex
by
israphael
2-17-04
Hey baby. Want to come back to my place? I have a penis the size of a walnut.
No you idiot! Your brain is the size of a walnut. Your penis is as big as a telephone pole.
Maybe that's why that chick from MENSA was hitting on me.
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israphael's Comics
07/11/05 - My Little Circle of Hell 10
02/24/04 - FTC 24: Home of Rice-a-roni
02/23/04 - FTC 24: Except in the Roman Catholic Church
02/20/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 9
02/20/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 8
02/17/04 - Worst Thing to Say Trying to Get Sex
02/17/04 - CC 232: What can I say, I like anime too
02/16/04 - CC 232: Things That Tenderize
02/16/04 - CC 232: Bad Bull
02/14/04 - CC 232: Fourteen of your fifteen minutes are up!
02/13/04 - CC 232: Eldritch Idol
02/08/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 7
02/08/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 6
02/07/04 - ZS 23: Upclose and Personal
02/04/04 - ZS #21: Litters of Fun
02/04/04 - ZS #16: Can't we all just get along?
02/03/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 5
02/02/04 - CC231: War comes on little cat feet IV
02/02/04 - CC231: War comes on little cat feet III
02/02/04 - War comes on little cat feet II
02/02/04 - CC 231: War comes on little cat feet I
02/02/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 4
01/30/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 3
01/30/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 2
01/24/04 - My Little Circle of Hell 1
01/24/04 - My Little Circle of Hell i
01/21/04 - My Little Circle of Hell ii
01/21/04 - CC228: Another Night Ironing the Kilt
01/19/04 - My Little Circle of Hell iii
11/14/03 - We'll leave the light on for you
11/14/03 - Thrasher in the Wry 4
11/14/03 - Thrasher in the Wry 3
11/14/03 - Thrasher in the Wry 2
11/14/03 - Thrasher in the Wry 1
11/06/03 - CC 219: Good Things are Cumming Your Way!
11/06/03 - CC 218: The mother of all Halloween jokes
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 9
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 8
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 7
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 6
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 5
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 4
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 3
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 2
08/13/03 - The Life of Israphael, Part 1
07/11/03 - CC 196: A meeting with my ex
04/22/03 - CC 182: Want to Play Again?
04/14/03 - SC Greeting Card #1: Congratulations on the New Job
04/13/03 - Get Thee Behind Me, Brad!
04/11/03 - I'll Even Let You Squeeze The Tube
01/30/03 - CC 167: Now, About Your Cat's Bad Breath...
01/17/03 - Not an Official CC163 Entry
12/17/02 - Thanks for the Memories
12/17/02 - CC 159: All I Want for Christmas
12/12/02 - CC 159: All I Want for Christmas is...
12/11/02 - CC 158: It Hurts When I Do This 7
12/11/02 - CC 158: It Hurts When I Do This 6
12/11/02 - CC 158: It Hurts When I Do That 5
12/11/02 - CC 158: It Hurts When I Do This 4
12/11/02 - CC 158: It Hurts When I Do This 3
12/11/02 - CC 158: I Hurts When I Do This 2
12/11/02 - CC 158: It Hurts When I Do This 1
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons XI
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons X
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons IX
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons VIII
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons VII
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons VI
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons V
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons IV
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons III
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons II
12/05/02 - CC 157: Boogie Afternoons I
12/03/02 - Where Every Hour is Unhappy Hour
11/26/02 - You're Going Down!
11/25/02 - The Spanklings IX
11/22/02 - Beats Having Your Ass Beaten With A Chair
11/22/02 - Five Things I Hate About IRC #6
11/22/02 - Five Things I Hate About IRC #5
11/22/02 - Five Things I Hate About IRC #4
11/22/02 - Five Things I Hate About IRC #3
11/22/02 - Five Things I Hate About IRC #2
11/22/02 - Five Things I Hate About IRC #1
11/19/02 - I Say Give Into Their Demands
11/17/02 - Gallipoli 1915
11/16/02 - EVIL 9
11/16/02 - EVIL 6
11/16/02 - EVIL 3
11/10/02 - Tales of Terror V
11/07/02 - Tales of Terror IV
11/05/02 - Tales of Terror III
11/05/02 - Tales of Terror II
11/05/02 - Tales of Terror I
11/04/02 - On the Road Again IV
11/04/02 - On the Road Again III
11/04/02 - On the Road Again II
11/04/02 - On the Road Again I
10/25/02 - The Second Cumming II
10/25/02 - The Second Cumming I
10/21/02 - Going Down to the River to Pray 3
10/21/02 - Going Down to the River to Pray 2
10/21/02 - Going Down to the River to Pray 1
10/19/02 - A Bicycle Built For Two #3
10/19/02 - A Bicycle Built For Two #2
10/19/02 - A Bicycle Built For Two #1
10/18/02 - No Good Deed III
10/18/02 - No Good Deed II
10/18/02 - No Good Deed I
10/18/02 - Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful #3
10/18/02 - Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful #2
10/18/02 - Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful #1
10/15/02 - Millenium: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night (Act III)
10/15/02 - Millenium: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night (Act I)
10/15/02 - Millenium: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night (Act II)
10/15/02 - Millenium: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night (Act I)
10/13/02 - From the Mouths of Babes
10/13/02 - Space station plumbers finish work (CNN.com, Oct 12)
10/13/02 - Snuff maker's settlement could be a first (CNN.com, Oct. 12)
10/13/02 - Is it really good-bye for Kyle? (CNN.com, Oct. 12)
10/12/02 - The Evolution of Tobor
10/12/02 - Johnny Reb Will Get His In the End
10/11/02 - Women Become Hookers, Dump Fiances to Follow Beckham
10/11/02 - I Did It for Science: Cross-Dressing (Nerve.com, Oct. 11)
10/11/02 - Japanese Augmenting Their Penises (Nerve.com, Oct. 11)
10/11/02 - Ghosts Put N.J. Town in High Spirits (CNN.com, Oct. 11)
10/08/02 - And Now Let Us Consume Mass Quantaties, Amen.
10/08/02 - My Brunch with Andretti
10/08/02 - East of Manhattan, North of My Penis
10/07/02 - CC 146: This is not an Entry
10/06/02 - Public Service Announcement #3
10/05/02 - Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Heaven's Door
10/05/02 - Remember to Fondle Your Pets Regularly
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure IX
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure VIII
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure VI
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure VI
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure V
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure IV
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure III
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure II
10/03/02 - DexX's Big Adventure I
09/29/02 - CC143: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Sucking-Up
09/26/02 - I Didn't Write This Strip
09/24/02 - The Laziest Man In Stripcreator
09/24/02 - Right Said Med
09/24/02 - A Proud Family Tradition
09/24/02 - Kind Words in an Hour of Need
09/19/02 - I Must Apologize In Advance
09/15/02 - The Spanklings VIII
09/11/02 - A Tempered Reflection on the Anniversary of 9-11
09/10/02 - The Past, Present, and Future of ObiJo
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Epilogue
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act VIII
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act VII
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act VI
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act V
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act IV
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act III
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act II
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Act I
09/06/02 - Israphael, The Motion Picture: Prologue
08/29/02 - The Spanklings VII
08/28/02 - The Spanklings
08/27/02 - The Spanklings V
08/27/02 - (Almost) True Veterinary Tales, Part IV
08/26/02 - The Spanklings IV
08/26/02 - CC 139: Followed by an Extensive Course of Rectal Palpation
08/20/02 - CC 138: Why Must It Always Be About You?
08/17/02 - Raiders Throughout the Ages
08/12/02 - The Spanklings III
08/12/02 - The Spanklings II
08/11/02 - CC 10001000: Y Tu Mama Tambien
07/30/02 - In an Elevator, Somewhere in the World
07/09/02 - The Spanklings
07/09/02 - Popular Science
07/04/02 - Next Year We're Going to the Renaissance Fair
07/04/02 - A Day in the Life...
06/24/02 - Drag On Tales
06/24/02 - Next up: Journey to Ernie
06/19/02 - CC 126: The Eternal Question
05/08/02 - Time for a Little R&R 6
05/08/02 - Time for a Little R&R 5
05/08/02 - Time for a Little R&R 4
05/08/02 - Time for a Little R&R 3
05/08/02 - Time for a Little R&R 2
05/08/02 - Time for a Little R&R 1
05/06/02 - When Brad's Away...
04/23/02 - Jailhouse Rock II
04/16/02 - CC114: One Night at McCool's
04/16/02 - CC114: One Night at McCool's
04/09/02 - Tales from the Script 13
04/09/02 - Tales from the Script 12
04/08/02 - Tales from the Script 10
04/08/02 - Tales from the Script 9
04/08/02 - Tales from the Script 8
04/08/02 - Tales from the Script 7
04/08/02 - Tales from the Script 6
04/08/02 - Tales from the Script 5
04/06/02 - Tales From The Script 4
04/06/02 - Tales From The Script 3
04/06/02 - Tales From The Script 2
04/06/02 - Tales From The Script 1
04/06/02 - CC112: The Origin of "The Head"
04/04/02 - CC111: Submitted For Your Approval
04/04/02 - CC111: My Fawn Has Diarrhea!
04/04/02 - CC111: Tobor (The Movie)
04/04/02 - CC111: Emily Bronte's "Wirthling Heights"
04/04/02 - CC111: Emily Bronte's "Wirthling Heights"
04/03/02 - An (Almost) True Story
04/03/02 - CC111: Koyaanisqatsi (Stomach out of Balance)
04/03/02 - CC111: When Hannibal Ate Sally
04/01/02 - Now With 50% Less Donkeys And Sodomy
03/30/02 - CC110: We've Already Established What You Are...
03/29/02 - CC110: A Sad Day In Stripcreatorland
03/28/02 - CC110: How do you think Miss Manners started?
03/28/02 - CC110: Lay Me In My Grave Face Down
03/28/02 - CC110: God Bless Frank Nelson
03/26/02 - CC109: Tobor
03/26/02 - CC109: Spankling
03/26/02 - CC109: Bazilla
03/26/02 - CC109: Siegfried and Roy
03/25/02 - CC109: Isaac Asimov
03/25/02 - CC109: Catherine the Great
03/23/02 - CC108: Stripcreator (The Movie)
03/22/02 - CC108: A Beautiful Mime
03/19/02 - CC107: Sleepers, Episode 7
03/19/02 - CC107: Sleepers, Episode 6
03/19/02 - CC107: Sleepers, Episode 5
03/19/02 - CC107: Sleepers, Episode 4
03/19/02 - CC107: Sleepers, Episode 3
03/19/02 - CC107: Sleepers, Episode 2
03/19/02 - CC107: Sleepers, Episode 1
03/10/02 - You Are What You Regurgitate
03/09/02 - CC104: Fun at the Old Folk's Home 2
03/08/02 - CC 104: Diesel Beatings #6
03/08/02 - CC 104: Diesel Beatings #5
03/08/02 - CC 104: Diesel Beatings #4
03/08/02 - CC 104: Diesel Beatings #3
03/08/02 - CC 104: Diesel Beatings #2
03/08/02 - CC 104: Diesel Beatings #1
03/02/02 - Maybe I'll Do Better on "Change of Heart"
02/15/02 - Scenes from the 20th Annual Stripcreator Reunion II
02/15/02 - Scenes from the 20th Annual Stripcreator Reunion I
02/14/02 - CC100: Fun at the Old Folk's Home.
02/14/02 - At Least This Year I Didn't Wake Up in a Bathtub Full of Ice
02/11/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4e 1/2
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4h
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4g
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4f
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4e
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4d
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4c
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4b
02/07/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com 4a
02/06/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com III
02/06/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com II
02/06/02 - The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com I
02/01/02 - Comic Cup 8 Round 1 - The Plan Unfurls
01/29/02 - And it's the Wrong Color and Size
01/26/02 - Maybe You Should Consider Getting Him Neutered
01/26/02 - Public Service Announcement #2
01/25/02 - And Maybe There is a Role for Phylicia Rashad
01/23/02 - Indy Pete: Lady's Man II
01/23/02 - Indy Pete: Lady's Man I
01/23/02 - Indy Pete: Lady's Man
01/20/02 - Serial Comic VI: Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime
01/19/02 - Bunnerabb and NastyPope Ate My Balls
01/17/02 - CC 93: Shouldn't This Be An Ad For Preparation H?
01/16/02 - What's Eatin' You?
01/14/02 - Geography (or Kabul is the capital of South Dakota)
01/11/02 - The Difference Between Men and Women
01/09/02 - The Sin of Pride (or at Least of Heresy)
01/09/02 - Theology and a Can of Whoop-Ass
01/05/02 - Why is Tobor always the victim?
01/05/02 - CC 90: B is for a "Bad" strip, which I have myself to blame
01/02/02 - I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT IS NOT BUTT-AH!
01/02/02 - You Know You Want To
01/01/02 - Times They Are A-Changing
01/01/02 - What Will You Have For Breakfast On New Year's Morning?
12/31/01 - My Dinner With Spankling IV
12/31/01 - My Dinner With Spankling III
12/31/01 - My Dinner With Spankling II
12/31/01 - My Dinner With Spankling I
12/31/01 - Clash of the Titans III
12/31/01 - Clash of the Titans II
12/31/01 - Clash of the Titans I
12/25/01 - CC88: I Still Didn't Get My Pony This Christmas
12/20/01 - All in the Family
12/17/01 - Reservoir Donkeys
12/14/01 - Dial "M" for Mental
12/10/01 - Let the Beatings and Manrape Begin
12/10/01 - Let the Beatings and Manrape Begin
12/10/01 - Let the Beatings and Manrape Begin
12/05/01 - Introducing Stan
12/05/01 - And I Still
12/04/01 - Cowboy Poli Sci
12/03/01 - CC83d: Meeting the Parents
12/03/01 - CC83c: Meeting the Parents
12/03/01 - CC83b: Meeting the Parents
12/03/01 - CC83a: Meeting the Parents
12/03/01 - At Least It Wasn't A Sucking Punchline
12/03/01 - A Natural Talent
12/03/01 - The Stars Are Brightly Shining
12/03/01 - Pee Wee Where Art Thou?
12/03/01 - I'm Not a Diva!
11/30/01 - Commercial Break #2
11/29/01 - Commercial Break #1
11/29/01 - Do You Smell What I Smell?
11/29/01 - Jolly Old Elf, My Ass!
11/29/01 - Creative Differences
11/28/01 - The First Annual Stripcreators Christmas Special
11/27/01 - CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness IV
11/27/01 - CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness III
11/27/01 - CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness II
11/27/01 - CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness I
11/25/01 - Acme Industries, Proudly Serving Coyotes For Over 50 Years
11/19/01 - Maternal Clock
11/19/01 - Maternal Clock
11/17/01 - Coming To A Pub Near You
11/15/01 - Forum-Users Theater: Little Red Riding Vest
11/14/01 - Israphael's Life Lessons #3
11/14/01 - Israphael's Life Lessons #3
11/14/01 - Israphael's Life Lessons #2
11/12/01 - CC79: A Meeting Of Minds
11/12/01 - CC79: Won't or Shockie, You Decide
11/08/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part XV)
11/08/01 - WE WILL SAVE YOU MONEY!!!
11/08/01 - Israphael's Life Lessons #1
11/08/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part XIV)
11/07/01 - You Never Do See The Two Of Them Together At The Same Time
11/07/01 - And I Stepped In It Too!
11/07/01 - Not An Entry To CC77 (But Ought To Be)
11/05/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part XIII)
11/05/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part XII)
11/05/01 - Serial Comic IV: Just Like Deliverance Without Banjo Music
11/05/01 - And When Mr. Bigglesworth Gets Upset... People Die!
11/02/01 - CC76: Sorry I Asked
10/28/01 - Even Forum Users Have A Purpose In Life
10/28/01 - My Relationship Paranoia Pt. 5: When Life Hands You Lemons
10/27/01 - Got Scrote? (The Director's Cut)
10/26/01 - Proctology
10/26/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part XI)
10/26/01 - Historically Inevitable Tobor
10/24/01 - CC75: Maura Takes A Dump II
10/24/01 - CC75: Merl the Misogynist Squirrel 26
10/24/01 - CC75: Less is More II - More or Less
10/21/01 - CC74: Wirthling Still Continues to Suck - by gabe_billings
10/19/01 - Why Max Cannon Has A Restraining Order Out On Me
10/18/01 - CC73: Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy
10/18/01 - A Kinder and Gentler Tobor
10/17/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part X)
10/12/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part IX)
10/11/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part VIII)
10/11/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part VII)
10/11/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part VI)
10/10/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part V)
10/10/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part IV)
10/06/01 - CC 70: Worked for Shatner
10/04/01 - CC 69
10/04/01 - CC 69: The Anguished States Of Israphael
10/04/01 - I'm not saying she's a whore, but...
10/03/01 - Meet the Author II
10/02/01 - A Scene From The New Live-Action Scoobie-Doo Movie
10/01/01 - CC68: Orgasmic Chemistry
10/01/01 - Who Left Their Dirty Underwear In The Refrigerator?
09/29/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part III)
09/29/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part II)
09/29/01 - The Love That Dare Not Spe..... Whatever (Part I)
09/27/01 - But You Knew That Already
09/26/01 - This Is Some Sort Of Political Humor, Isn't It?
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XX
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XIX
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XVIII
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XVII
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XVI
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XV
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XIV
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XIII
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XII
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part XI
09/26/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part X
09/25/01 - An Apology
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part IX
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part VIII (Director's Cut)
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part VIII (Corrected Version)
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part VIII
09/25/01 - (Almost) True Veterinary Tales, Part III
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part VII
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part VI
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part V
09/25/01 - Caffiene By Day, Alcohol By Night!
09/25/01 - Public Service Announcement #1
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part IV
09/25/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part III
09/25/01 - CC66: Void Where Prohibited by Law.
09/23/01 - Reflections on 9-11
09/23/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part II
09/23/01 - Trials of TOBOR, Part I
09/23/01 - I Feel Your Pain.
09/23/01 - Meet the Author
09/23/01 - (Almost) True Veterinary Tales, Part II
09/23/01 - (Almost) True Veterinary Tales, Part I
09/23/01 - The Hardest Work is Finding Work
09/23/01 - Have your people call my people.
09/20/01 - Why I never could sell a script to Seinfeld
09/06/01 - Resistance is Futile
09/06/01 - And afterwards we can talk about our relationship.
09/06/01 - Hey, I used that Punchline already
09/03/01 - You think you hate your life.
09/03/01 - Inevitable really...
09/02/01 - Twist my arm already.
09/02/01 - Dreamweaver... get me through the night.
08/31/01 - Fully Functional
08/31/01 - Don't mess with my Toot-toot!
08/31/01 - How I eat a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup
08/31/01 - Be gentle, it's my first time.
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