All comics by Aiden

Profile

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
I am Chaos.
That's cool. so.....how's that workin' out for ya?
INSOLENCE!! You should bow to your rightful master!! And WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET A TRASHCAN!?
Yeah, it's quite the mystery. Maybe I shouldn't have had that last Zima.
I hate Jeff's stupid imagination...
Dear Chaos, you suck.

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
A chance encounter...
Why, hello, specail friend, how is your day on God's glorious earth?
......Uhh......what? Shit, I'm hung over.
Our protagonist has been angered...
It's a beautiful day for a picnic!
God, SHUT THE HELL UP!!
Didn't see that coming, did you?
will you be my friend?
Goodbye, dumb jerk!

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
Heaven?
That was weird...
Welcome to heaven, Generic Protagonist.
Squid Beast?
Who the hell are you?!
We are God, pay more attention.
He hurt God's feelings...
But......you're some sort of horrible squid beast...
That's not very kind....

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
Hello everybody, I'm Jerry. I play the character of God in Jeff's twisted subconscious.
But today, I come to talk to you about alcohol. It may seem like a fun social activity, but it's actually shameful and evil.
You saw it coming.
Worst possible time, man. Worst possible time.
So.....ready to go get fucked up?

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
Generic Protagonist, what exactly do you think you're doing?
What? Nothing....
....I can see that you don't belong here.... Time to send you back to earth...
You're probably right...
Happens to me alot too...
Hello cruel world...
I missed you, friend!

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
Hey, I'm Torin. I'm a fellow comic-guy thing, and Aiden is a good friend of mine.
Hey, I'm Jeff, also known as Aiden. This here's Torin. I defeated him in combat. Now he's my slave!
SILENCE! THIS ISN'T THE FUCKING LOONY TUNES!
It's a reference to Torin's comic (check it out)
This is becoming a trend with you isn't it?
This time I used a rock!

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
Are those new shoes? I don't remember buying them...
Bow to me, pathetic morta-what the hell are you staring at?!
Was I wearing these shoes last time we met?
I will not be ignored!!
I don't know, I sort of like them.
Pay attention to me! PLEASE!!

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
Dude, you gotta start a storyline.
I guess.... Or we could always just get drunk.
Let's do both!
Shit yes!
What if God was a horrible squid beast?
Gimme that fucking bottle, I want what you're havin'.

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
Turmoil in trashcan paradise...
Just another lazy trashcan day...
Damn you, Generic Protagonist! This is no time for Trashcanning!
What the hell do you want?
The delicate fabric of space-time is in danger...all known reality needs you!
NEAT!
To fuck around with space-time?
Save, fuck around with, whatever.

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
The first stage of your mission requires you to speak to God...
Arright, bro, whats up?
I'm Jesus. To talk to God, you have to die. JESUS POWER, ACTIVATE!!!
Ow.
Heh. Nobody ever expects that to happen.

 

by Aiden
8-27-03
What the hell?
Welcome back, Protagonist.
Uhh....did you remodel or something?
How dare you speak to us on such casual terms?! We are your God!........Besides, that horrible squid beast comment really hurt...
What the fuck!?!?
It's squid-hammering time....
I'll be good....

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
Sory about the hammer thing, man, but I really need to find my way into space-time.
And just WHY should we grant a favor to a lowly mortal like yourself?
Hmm.....Because I have the hammer?
We are the one true divine power! We fear not uour pathetic mortal hammer!!
Thought so...

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
A mysterious voice...
Now I gotta go find him...
Hey....hey, you...
A mysterious figure...
Who said that!?
Just a helpful cosmos cowboy...I've come to help you find a way into the space-time continuum.
Evil, Evil, Evil, Evil, Evil.
I thought that was God's job...
He's busy weeping silently in a corner.

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
People are protesting the material in your comic.
Heh, this shit is lightweight. Wait until i unleash "Black-Ops Angel" upon the world.
Christians, recovering alcoholics, squid enthusiasts,
Some people have no sense of humor...
Black-Ops Angel reference!!!
And apparently, you made some horribly derisive otter comments in a private interview...
Damn those swimmy bastards....

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
Nope, still no comic ideas.
That sucks.
Wanna go skate?
Kid, you have a one-track mind.
Will I ever learn? Will Torin?
One of these days, I'm going to arrest you.
One of these days, you're going to be in that ambulance.

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
Hi, I'm Generic Protagonist. I'm not quite ready to save the world, so instead I'll just tell you a bit about Jeff's main project, Black-Ops Angel.
It's a black and white hand-drawn comic about the mysterious, dark, shadowy side of being an angel.
Aiden, the guardian angel, is to protect all that is righteous and good. However, one day he accepts a position as a divine assassin, with the sole mission in life to rid the world of it's bad seeds.
The world is overrun with those who plague the good, so Aiden finds himself constantly on the job. But there are even darker truths that surround his shady profession.
The comic is done graphic-novel style, and not in three panel integrals, like this. What are those dark, surprising secrets? You'll have to read it to find out. Well, this concludes my probation.
Thank God that shit's over...

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
So how do I go about getting into the plane of space-time?
I will send you there. But be warned, it will hurt quite a bit.
AAAGH!!!
There'll be the conclusion next time, I promise. Along with a better punchline.
Is this space-time?
No, I got bored.

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
You're a real asshole, you know that?
Ok, that's out of my system. Now I'll help you out, seriously. COWBOY POWER, ACTIVATE!!!
AAGH!
Heh, I love my job.
To Be Continued...
Am I the only one without an evil superpower?
CLOWN POWER, ACTIVATE!!!

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
Damn, this place is weird.
Hello, Protagonist.
Oh, Fuck!!
Yes. Fuck confirmed. Fuck is correct. You have entered the shadow realm. A world of infinite, paralyzing darkness.
To be continued...
How do i get to the plane of space-time?
You cannot. You have now been condemned to the bleak wasteland that you see all around you...

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
Finally, we have rid ourselves of Generic Protagonist. Now we can initialize the final stage of our conquest...
(Sigh) Truly, I do not understand. How could one simple, pathetic mortal prevent us from taking over the upper realm?
He may seem like an ordinary mortal, but he contains with him an immense power. He could easily have prevented us from entering the upper realm...
If the power within him ever awakened...
This place bites.
Confirmed.

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
Imagine the world once we have rid the earth of our pathetic, worthless foe.
Demise and destruction as far as the eye can see...finally turning this worthless planet into a suitable habitat for the likes of myself.
And all that holds us back now is one creature...

 

by Aiden
8-28-03
There must be a way out...
No. You are doomed.
you're really pissing me off...
Protagonist! You are changing...I can sense an energy unlike any other I have ever seen....and I have existed since the dawn of creation.
To Be Continued...
WHO THE FUCK CARES?!?!
AAH!!!

 

by Aiden
8-29-03
YOU!
Who's there?!
Finally, we meet face to face. It is a shame that today will be your last on earth. HELLFIRE!!
Chaos...you wouldn't...
Think of the pain as assurance that, for now, you are still alive.
AAAAAHH!!

 

by Aiden
8-29-03
Meanwhile, in the shadow realm...
Holy shit...
I reduced the Grim Reaper to a pile of ashes...all with the energy inside me that I never knew I had...
I'm finding the fucking way out...

 

by Aiden
8-29-03
What...the....hell?
Grrrr..
The Shadow Realm melts away...
What the fuck did I do.....?

 

by Aiden
8-30-03
Hi, I'm Generic Protagonist.
Generic? Oh....sorry, I thought it was General...
WHAT?!?!?! INSOLENCE!!!!
Oh my god!!!!!
All will bow before the Vaguely-reminiscent-of-Akira power of Generic Protagonist!!!!
This is a bad time to mention that I originally thought your name was Generic Antagonist...

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
Hi, I'm Aiden. I just want to take a comic to say much props to Antony for making a Trigun reference, and for using the phrase "Jesus on a jungle gym"
I'm not Antony, I'm Torin, dick.
Die imposter!!
AAH! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES NOT POSESS DEMONIC FIRE POWERS OF SOME SORT!?
It's cool to be smart! But only if you have demonic superpowers to back it up!
Repeat after me, flaming column of pain! V-A-G-U-E-L-Y!!!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR HONORS LEVEL ENGLISH CLASS!

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
Our hero has escaped the Shadow Realm...
Now you will suffer for eternity!
CHAOS!!
OOH! SPOOKY!
Generic Protagonist...Damn...but you are too late! God is already weakened beyond salvation! You cannot save him...
I'm not here to save shit. I just want revenge....
And so the fight begins...
I will emerge victor!!
You will die today...

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
Our Epic Battle contunues...
(pant) You're going to die...
I'll kill you before you can land another technique...
You're pissing me off...
fuck...
Meanwhile...
This must be the ultimate destructive power Chaos was talking about...

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
Ultimate power?
DIE!!!!
AAAAHHH!!!
I guess not...
(pant pant) why aren't you dead...?
Ha. I was a fool to worry. You have grown in power, but you are still too weak to destroy me. You have not woken up your energy afterall.
God, this turned into DBZ...
I haven't reached my full power.....?
Nor will you. I will kill you now...

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
Antony................................\/
Die, Motherfucker!! Everybody dies!!!
OW! Fire hurts!!
Antony's charred not-deadness \/
Feel the pain! The pain that is Aiden!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
I wish that I was dead...
I wish I was this cool in real life...
Oh, hey, Ender.
Hey Aide-Holy shit! What the fuck did I just step in?!??!?!

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
Antony, not Torin. Sorry about the confusion, but until one emerges victor, this will continue.
Thanks for resurrecting me, I just sort of wish it wasn't inside a vacuum cleaner....
Yeah well, that's life.
Life is being reincarnated inside a small, dirty vacuum cleaner?
Umm.....yes. Yes it is.
It's the only logical conclusion, really.
Ever consider therapy?
What, did everybody on earth hold a council last week, and the whole world decided to constantly ask me that?

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
....nnnng....
Pathetic. Though I commend your futile efforts.
...NNNNG....
Wait...what's happening?
Pain is rediscovered, and redefined.
SON OF A BITCH!!!
AAHH!!

 

by Aiden
9-01-03
He has reached his ultimate power, and has defeated Chaos...
But how did he escape the Shadow Realm? Surely he did not win at a game of chess....It is said to be impossible, and that's the only way out...
Die a thousand deaths, you son of a bitch! You will have your turn to experience the Shadow Realm!!!
AAAAAHH!!!!
To Be Ominously Continued after a long break...
Unnh...where the hell am I?
Welcome to Limbo. The Shadow Realm has been destroyed. Your eternity will be spent in this lifeless void....

 

by Aiden
9-02-03
Antony, again. Sorry.
Sorry about the fire thing, man.
Naw, It's cool, you're forgiven.
AAAAHH!! Firey goodness!!!
BURN, WITH ALL THE INTENSITY OF NORMAL FIRE, BUT MORESO!!! MORESO, I SAY!!!!
Oww....
Where'd you put that vacuum cleaner?

 

by Aiden
9-02-03
Yo, Brotha. How's it hanging in the mainstream, technicolor world?
AAH!!! Beatnick!!! Die, scum!!!
Like, ow, soul brother!!!
Burn, wastepile!! Get a job and a haircut!!! BITCH!!!
Sometimes I get a wee bit carried away...
Vile, sickening mess of horrendous refuse! You deserve nothing more than the hell to which you have been condemned!!!! BASTARD!!!
...Now I'm lonely...

 

by Aiden
9-04-03
School will be fun!
Dude, we always say that in the beginning, and the charm of seeing all of our friends usually wears thin when we remember who are friends actually are.
Fuck! Shit! And other such expletives!!!
Welcome doomed children, to the first day of your doomed sophmore year, where you will be trained to be nothing more than a mindless drone, programmed to find a job and live out your pointless lives.
One Week Later..
No...I...wish...I...was....dead....
Doomed. Doomed. Pointless, futile existence...doomed. Darkness.

 

by Aiden
9-04-03
Umm...
Hey man, what's u-
LIES!!! NOTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY SAY CAN RECTIFY THE HORRENDOUS SHAM OF A LIFE THAT I AM FORCED TO LIVE!!! PAIN!!! DECEPTION!!! CAKE!!!!
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW MY PAIN!!! MY SORROW!!! X-BLOCK?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!?!
Hey, shut the fuck up! We all have problems, yours are just louder and more incoherent!!!
yea.
I'm getting special "Aiden-related injury" report form printed up next week.
That's gotta be a timesaver.

 

by Aiden
9-05-03
This is Ender. He's a stupid punkass.
Dude, Torin's the man.
Choke on your LIES!!!!!
I bet you're thinking "Hey, man. That's not nice. He's probably a good guy...."
No!!! Fire!! It hurts me! It's.....not...firey...Huh? What happened?
Forget it... I...uhhh... don't feel like wasting my awesome dark powers on you...
See??? See?!?!?!?!!! I Told You!!!
Haha! You're impotent!!! Dark-doom-evil fire powers impotent!!!
You laugh now, but some day you will get your come-uppin's! COME-UPPIN'S, I SAY!!!

 

by Aiden
9-05-03
Now for revenge...
HAHAHAHA!!! You're a loser!! Bitch!!
Hey, man don't pisss me off....
Ok, THAT was a bit cruel...
Ha! What're you gonna do abou-AAH!! NO!! MY IMAGINARY SELF!!
That's what! I've reduced you back to your actual self!!
but why only be halfway cruel?
And now to BURN!! BURN I SAY!!!
Mmm...do I smell bacon?

 

by Aiden
9-05-03
Ahh, another beautiful.....day....uhh...
G'day, mate!
Nope, I knew I shouldn't have gotten outta bed this morning...
Oi'me your own personal Guardian Angel!
Eewww, Zippy....
My life has become a mediocre Z
Oh, tha' really 'urt's, it does, mate...

 

by Aiden
9-05-03
Hi, I'm Aiden. I know many of you (all three of my readers, if that) may be confused about GP saying "Z" in the last comic.
I was going to have him say "Zippy Comic", but just the thought of that heinous comic made me dash to the bathroom and vomit. A lot. Lots and lots of the vomit.
Anyway, after a long break, and a fistful of sleeping pills, I went back and finished it. Just barely though.
Why, yes. Yes he is.
Oh. Hello, Torin. Come to astound me with feats of idiocy??
Dude! "Z" is now totally the new slang for anything that sucks!! Sucks like Zippy! Yeah!!

 

by Aiden
9-05-03
Hello, people. Usually I make my comics funny, with a witty observation, or more likely, a string of incoherent profanities, followed by me talking to a police officer.
Dude, these comics are bullshit. You haven't had a funny comic in....well.....ever.
Shut up...But now, I've come to talk to you in a serious tone. You see, more and more people these days are losing their focus, and are resorting to pathetic webcomics, to try and forget their life.
Just give it up! This sucks! You suck! This is just going to end in tears!
I'm so ashamed
Hey, Aiden! I'm supposed to be a cop, but you've always wanted an excuse to use my image! YAY!!
Oh my god, what have I become.....

 

by Aiden
9-05-03
My hair is bright colors.
Hey, Torin, I just dyed my hair!!
AAH! SHIT!!
Many apologies to Antony, and Torin, respectively.
Hey, Torin. Time to go have sex in a coat closet.
Huh? Oh...I'm not Tor-err...which is to say, that I'm not Aiden! Hell no!
Yea, you saw it coming.
Hey! Asshole! Get back here!! I'm warning you...
Let's go, Antony.

 

by Aiden
9-06-03
Well people, I'm back to my old self. Apparently it got confusing.
HAHA! I changed MY hair! Now I get to score with YOUR girlfriend!!!
First of all, I don't have a girlfriend...And secondly...
Aiden you son of a bitch!!! I'm totally going to kill you!!!
...I accidentally pissed off Marybeth the other day...
Mary-Beth!!! ASSHOLE!!! You'll remember my name, after I WRITE IT IN YOUR BLOOD!!!

 

by Aiden
9-06-03
This isn't Marybeth, it's Sarah. Sorry.
(Sigh)
Dude, what's wrong?
Nothing, I really hate parties. They're pointless. I need to be alone.
Alone time? Cool! I'll come with you!
ihateyouihateyou ihateyouihateyou ihateyouihateyou ihateyouihateyou...
Right, so back in Rhode Island, right? There was this thing, OK? And then...... A thing happened!!! Just like that! Haha!

 

by Aiden
9-06-03
Ok, that last one wasn't fair. Sarah, aside from that one incident, is a really cool person. I really love hanging out with her.
I really hope Sarah won't be too mad...
This does not bode well...
Aiden! You are SUCH a JERK!!!
Oh, I'm really sorry, Sarah...
For the last...goddamn time...MY NAME IS MARYBETH!!!!
*Whimpers* Goodbye world...

 

by Aiden
9-06-03
Suck on my head! Suck on my head until i am no more, then grind my ass into a plastic picnic table!!!
Uhh....
DEAR GOD WHY DO I EXIST?!?!?!
Err....
No, perverts. "Mind if I bum a fag?" means like "Can i get a cigarette?". God you people suck.
'Ello, mate. Mind if I bum a fag?
I have never wanted a cigarette less in my life....

 

by Aiden
9-07-03
Dude, we have to talk.
'Bout what?
Your most recent comic. While I admit that ACTUALLY getting a fat man to sodomize Onyx would be adequate (if creepy) revenge, just writing about it really didn't have all that much going for it.
Oh dude, come on! That shit was wicked funny! And besides, I was taking influence from YOUR Gus joke.
Yes, but remember, my Gus joke was a satirical social commentary on the severity of prison sex surpassing that of the death penalty, not cheap, comic-based revenge on some kid who made you cry.
*crying* Shut the fuck up! There's plenty more sodomy where that came from!!!

 

by Aiden
9-07-03
And another thing...if Antony "likes it in the ass" as much as your comic claims, AND he has vaseline, which, may I add, you wouldn't get in prison, then how is the sodomy punishment?
Listen, if you're gonna be a bitch, I'ma stop paying attention to you.
Heh heh. You're just angry because you know I gotcha.
Well YEAH, of course I'm angry that you're pointing out plotholes in what was supposed to be my shining, glorious revenge. Genius.
Meanwhile, in Torin's world...
Hey, I died young, and I'm having , I the best time of my afterlife!
I love you Kurt Cobain!!

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