All comics by Azrael31

 

by Azrael31
8-18-07
Bonnie Wright sucks.
I have them fooled.
Hey honey, I just got back from my birthday lunch, go get ready for sex.
Can you believe I'm 18, already?
Get out.

 

by Azrael31
8-18-07
Hey! I'm King, I'm indian, not those greedy casino indians, the industrious kind. I would like to tell you more about the great country that is India.
This is a typical indian village. The indians are industrious people who carry no diseases.
Here we have a typical indian. Typical indian, do you have anything to say about your great country?
This is Brooklyn, dawg.

 

by Azrael31
8-18-07
Hey, I'm Tom. We're here to teach you about a black man called Bobby. Bobby is a long-serving member of SG, and had fought through adversity to become one of its most prominent members.
Hey, I'm Calumn. It was his birthday a few days ago, and we figured we would honor it by kidnapping him and bringing him here for you all to meet him. Take him out of the bag, Dragan.
Yes, sir. Ta Da!
What the hell is wrong with you? I'm not Bobby, I'm just black.
Damn. Well, I'm off to get drunk and having paedo jokes made about me. He's all yours, Taj. Feel free to lynch.
Dude, I said I'm not racist.

 

by Azrael31
8-18-07
This comic strip has been made in honor of Lee Stewart. This strip will be colored with the colors of his favorite football team, in light of his presumed death from cancer.
Just one moment, please.
Er... what fucking colors do I use?

 

by Azrael31
8-18-07
Welcome to 'SG: Are they who they say they are?' In today's episode we invesitage Azrael, the self-proclaimed jew, is a relatively new member, whose main specialty is turk-bashing.
However, due to the recent decline in the turkish people on the site, and the hilarity of the jokes decreasing, he has made a brash attempt in paedo jokes and calling people gypsies.
Today, we show you who Azrael really is.
Yes, this is what we all picture when we think Azrael. Good-looking, Intelligent, Hard-working, Hillarious, Original, Talented... All tihngs synonimous with Judaism. But is it really him?
No.
Oh no! I have been uncovered!

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
James has been forced to babysit his little sister once again.
Come on, James, play with me!
Go away.
Tanya turns to her computer, surfs the interweb, and stumbles upon SG.
Pizza Delivery!
Shut up, you fucking turk.

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
I didn't do it.
I didn't do it.
I didn't do it.

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
I'm your greatest creation. Thanks for giving me life.
No problem.
Really, God, thank you for my beautiful eyes, thank you for my huge breasts, thank you for my round ass, thank you for my cumalicious face. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yeah...
May I be the next Burning Bush?
Knock yourself out.

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
What have I done?
You killed someone. You're going to hell.
Jesus? What are you doing here?
What was his religion?
Jewish.
Oh... OK. Well, see ya.

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
Josh's party...
Hey, I'm Obi Won Bergstein.
CRUSADE!!!!
Oh, for heaven's sake... I am not jewish, there will be no crusade, and you've realised you're a racist idiot who's wearing underwear on his head. You will walk away, now.
You are not jewish, there will be no crusade, I realise that I am a racist idiot who's wearing underweat on his head. I will walk away, now.
Thank God, that's over.

 

And in other news, two hindi girls went missing in Brooklyn last week. According to the police, there seems to be evidence that would point to the culprit, but frankly, who cares?
by Azrael31, 8-19-07

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
Tonight, on SG News, we bring you our investigative report on the term rassist. An inoffensive spelling mistake? Or the battlecry of bigots? With us tonight is our own, Jack Zlo.
Rassist, the word replaces the term racist, but why call someone a rassist, and not a racist? SG News believes the term, popularised by a gypsy, is actually a codeword with which neonazis communicate.
By replacing 'c' with 'SS', obvious nazi letters, the truely racist can mark each other, and identify who is simply racist, and who is truely rassist. With us, a member of the Rassists. Hello, gypsy.
Please, no need for formalities between WASPS.
OK, Mr. T, you truely are a racist, fascist person. Why enhance this image by associating yourself with Hitler?
Thread closed.

 

Welcome back, in breaking news, King has been made supermod of SG. Why is this news, you ask? Because finally an indian has power to do more than concieve.
by Azrael31, 8-19-07

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
BruceLeeFan and night are talking on SG.
Look at me, I'm masculine, I dig Bruce Lee, I like little children, but don't mix that up with my main man, Bruce. I'm a man, a real man, look at me.
Suffocate.
Go away, you handsome jew, I want people paying attention to me. Look at me, I'm masculine and everything.
Suffocate.
You can't even do that right.

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
Oh, no, what will I do?
I need to devise a plan to escape from him.
Bacon, I'm home!

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
Fili is about to go out and paint the town red, but as he waits for his frien to get ready, he checks the latest respones in SG.
Yay, still no strips made about me. Scarlett ftw.
Damnit, I'm more tan than that. You ready yet, Daz?
Yeah, let's go. By the way, I'm not scottish, dunno where you got that from.

 

by Azrael31
8-19-07
Welcome back to our interview with Tajike. Tajike, you are known as one of the most innovative members of SG, and your threads are of the highest random quality. To what do you attribute that?
I have a malignant brain tumor that presses my brain into my eyeballs.
HAHAHA!! Oh, Tajike, you never stop do you?
I'm being serious.
Oh...
Yeah...

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Daz, where's that report?
Sorry, sir, I didn't do it.
Why not?
I have diabetes, sir.
Oh, right. Well, why don't you take the day off?
Will do, boss.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Welcome to McDonalds, how may I help you?
Hey, I'd like a Giganic Mac, extra chips, large coke.
That'll be 12.50, sir.
I'm diabetic.
12.
Deal.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
And do you have any disabilities?
Well, yes, I'm diabetic.
Well, I think we have the perfect place for you, can you start tomorrow?
Yeah, thanks.
I g-got d-dressed all b-by myself, t-today.
Typical

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Hey Daz.
Hey Calumn. What are you eating?
Just a sandwhich, want a bite?
Sure, why not?
HA! It's pure surcrose!
You nobhead.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
It is October 31st, and every member has come dressed as another member.
Hey.
Hey.
Who're you supposed to be?
Azrael, the angel of death.
I'm Alex. There just weren't any cat outfits.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
It is October 31st, and every member has come dressed as another member.
Hey.
Hey. You've come as O-Car right?
O-car's girlfriend, yeah. And you?
I'm Azrael.
...
They were out of rabbi costumes.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
William is talking to Eyal over MSN. He currently has an erection.
Being jewish makes you cool.
Cool, I'll change my nick to mr. jew boy now.
Wow, you were right!
As always, as always.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Hello?
Hey, Will, it's me, Superjew. I'm right by your house, mind if I come over?
Sure thing, but I'll have to ask my brother, he's in charge this weekend.
OK.
Hey, bro, can my mate come over?
Yeah, sure.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Kurt Cobain for Heaven Presidency! Oh, wait, I don't believe in God. God sucks. Religion is just a big conspiracy. The world sucks, but I'm ok, because I listen to emo music which shows I care.
Hey, Trav, how about shut the fuck up?
No! Listen to my rant! Even though I hate conformity and people trying to please others, I do the same by doing like 50 million other angst-filled teenagers and going against the stream.
Trav, you're an idiot. Sorry to break it to you. But you never listen. S I made a strip. That is what you sound like.
Oh, no!!!1elevenish I've been a total noob, what will I do?
Cut yourself, emo boy.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
-longass Travis rant-
...
Thanks God.
Any time.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Whoa, Trav, you're a pretty boy.
Dude, you're drunk! Drinking is in. How dare you drink? I won't, because that's very very bad. Masturbation's alright, though. And emo music only I like, because I'm that special.
Drinking is sin?
YES!
But being an annoying emo freak is not?
Oh, snap.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Er... Alex? You said you wanted to meet? Where are you?
Psst, in here. Wear the anti-germ suit, though.
What's all this about?
The suit clouds your vision, so you won't be able to recognise me if you were to see me ever again. And it keeps me safe from your germs.
You paranoid wackjob.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Dave is talking to a random asian person... who has neck problems.
And that's it, point by point what my dad does for a living.
Oh, cool.
So he's a software engineer?
Not tonight honey, I have a headache.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
I want to touch your boob.
No.
OK, bye.
Wait. Don't go, I want your attention.
Boob.
FINE!

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Based on character by William.
I'm Pablo, and these are my amazing adventures. I'm bigheaded and like to eat large fish, which is why I glued a small fish to my hand!
I'm Pablo's reflection. I'm his girlfriend. Pablo is in love with himself, so this where I come in. The sex is amazing. Just like our adventures!
Meet my male homosexual companion, Chessboard! Even tohugh he's patterned on the surface, he's 100% black in heart.
'Sup?
More in the next issue!
This is the comedic relief in my adventures, Mr. Bacon! He's jewish!
MAZAL TOV!

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Based on character by William.
Hello peeps, welcome back. In today's issure, I assrape Dracula.
Soil yourself!
Shut the fuck up, fool.
Join us in the next issue when Pablo talks to Jesus.
Yes, sir.
BAM! World is saved.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Based on character by William.
We're gonna meet Jesus!
Jesus? Holy blasphemous hell, I'm jewish! He wants me dead. I'm outta here Big P.
Hey Mr. C! Whassssssssup?
I'm fine, niggah, how are you?
In the next issue, Pablo meets Emo Boy!!!
I'm dope.
Word.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
First day of school...
I'm Faty.
I'm Big Serj.
5 minutes later...
Sergio imploded, and the thousands of midgets who were inside him escaped.
I'm Free!!!!
Shut up, Pedro, you're gonna awaken the beast.

 

by Azrael31
8-20-07
Based on character by William. And Travis Taborek.
Nirvana's the best thing in the universe!
No, I'm the best thing in the universe.
NIRVANA!
Kill him Bacon!
ARGH!!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I'm a fucking pussy, look at me flee.

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Hey, I'm David
Hey, I'm Pedro
We're male friends, but we're not together. Really.
Oh... yeah, last night meant nothing to me, too.
Dude...
Oh, right, secret.

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
'Sup, -N-word-?
Who the hell do you think you are? You can't use that word.
What? Why?
That's our word. That's the black man's word, and you're whiter than Hitler. You can use that word when you get some black in you, dumbass.
The next day...
'Sup -N-word?
You sure you ain't got black blood in you? 'Cause goddamn you're stupid.

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Honey, can you throw the garbage out?
Sure, honey. Just lemme get dressed, I don't wanna throw the garbage out naked.
10 minutes later...
I'm leaving you.
Why?
Because you seem to think the garbage is worth you getting dressed, but you won't even shower for me.

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Dude, just go up and talk to her, nothing is gonna happen to you, she won't bite.
Alright, I'm doing it.
Hey.
Hello.
Huh...

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Masturbation.
Cool.
Cool.
Foot Fetish.
Group mast....
I said NO!

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Pedro... I'm gay.
Oh, shit!
Hey, come on, now.
No, it's not that.
Then what?
I just came in my pants.

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
I hate you Michael, no actually, I love you, well, no, I hate you. Wait, no, I love you. Yes, I love you Michael, I'm a bi-polar, bi-bitchy hindi girl, please love me back!
Racist bastard.

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Hey guys, I want you to meet my sister.
Masturbation.
OK, whoever did that, I'm going to kill you.
Sorry.

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Channel 3 would like to clarify the last strip, entitled: Emo Boy: It's NOT Genetic!!!. The girl in the red dress had not been masturbating, she was apologising for having farted.
It was actually Emo Boy who was masturbating to his own sister. Yes, it is sick. And definitely not something we, or the creator of our strips would make up.
Yes, we're afraid to communicate that the last strip is based on true events. And we all sincerely hope Emo Boy stops this incestful behaviour.
So, from everyone here in Channel 3, and everyone who knows him, Emo Boy, get it over with and cut yourself, already. You're disgusting.
That's all for today, please join tomorrow, for our report on the creators of 'The Amazing Adventures of Pablo'

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
Today we see our hero trying to conquer his love.
Erm, hey, hey, hey, Laura, I made you a CD with what I think are all romantic songs.
Death Metal?
Do you like it?
No.
Oh...
Well, dude, are you gonna bloody kill yourself or what?!

 

by Azrael31
8-21-07
How dare you insult Michael, Gideon?! And how dare you support him, Shahid? And how dare you do whatever you did, Sam?
Michael: I'm Sorry, Gideon, I was a conceited a-hole and this got outta hand. Let's put it behind us. Gideon: Alright.
Anyone up for cyber?
No, you're hindi.

 

by Azrael31
8-22-07
Do you have a condom?
Nah, I don't need it. I'm infertile, and it's not like I have anything...
Are you sure? You don't havce any diseases?
Well, I'm diabetic.
Damn.

 

by Azrael31
8-22-07
Please, Superjew! You must stop making strips about me! My popularity will decrease exponentially!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
HAHAHAHA, Oh, you could make some strips yourself, you know.

 

by Azrael31
8-23-07
OH MY GOD, René Descartes! Oh wait, God sucks, religion is just a plot to corrput the people of the world!
You do not exist.
The creator of the strip would like to congratulate all of those intellectual souls who understood this strip. To those who don't, he recommends you read a book.

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