All comics by Deaths_Head_II

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by Deaths_Head_II
6-11-04
Greetings. I am Deaths Head II and this is Dark Paladin Ramza.
You can refer to DH2 as the gay person of this strip.
DPR, look who's talking.
Come on, you think Goldeneye is better than Halo. It's the only explanation.
This goes on for quite a while.....
If you did my mom, she probably wouldn't have noticed, since your wang is so small.
At least I have a wang, unlike you, robo-freak.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-12-04
Yesterday, me and DPR graduated from our school.
It was a very sad experience.
" We had to say goodbye to all the friends we've made...all the memories we've had. "
Man, you like Final Fantasy Tactics? That game SUCKED. You're a loser. You'll never get a girlfriend.
*sniff* But FFT was the best game ever....;_;
On second thought, maybe our class wasn't that good at all.
I was trying to keep that memory oppressed. Thanks a lot for scarring me for life, ass.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-12-04
DPR and Cheaty are playing Final Fantasy XI.
Hey, Cheaty, I'm running low on Gil. Can I borrow some from you?
What makes you think I have any Gil in the first place?
Um...because you are a Thief?
Hey, hey. What makes you think that I'm a thief?
Um...because it is your job class?
HATE CRIME!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-12-04
Man, Chronicles of Riddick was awesome. I need to go tell DPR about it.
I'll just go wait for him to stop playing Final Fantasy XI and then I'll talk to him.
One year later....
I would have expected him to starve to death by now.
I feast on the various rats and bugs that have infested my home!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-13-04
Video Games. This evil transforms people into uninteresting losers that will never get a girlfriend. We have footage of some of them. This is not for the faint of heart.
I couldn't defeat the level 19 Guardian until I equipped a Forsaken Mace. It gave me +5 against guardians.
I used the Enchanted Lance of the Fierce. It gave me +5 to my speed and +3 to my stamina.
I think I'm going to be sick.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-13-04
The new Final Fantasy VII game on a cellphone is a dumb idea. How can you cram FFVII into a stupid cell phone? It's not possible.
Well, its for Japanese phones. Japan is way ahead of us in technology. Thier cells probably can do millions of stuff ours can't do.
Japanese Cell Phones:
Make me a smoothie, cell phone. Then destroy a third world country.
YES MASTER.
American Cell Phones:
Hey, Orly. My cell phone can play Snake.
Sweet.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-13-04
Hey DH2.
Hey Talas.
That's it.
I guess so.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-13-04
How we deal with n00bz...
omfg hey guys i am nu how do i mak mi rmza teh drknite lol
Hmm...How to make Ramza a Dark Knight...That's a tough one.
You're going kill Gafgarion and make Ramza eat his crystal. Than your going to have to poach a silver chocobo.
Then your going to have to get the materia blade. Equip it on Ramza. You'll unlock Squall Lionheart. Take him to Igros castle and you'll get a dark knight.
...we lie our ass off to them.
omfg it dont wrk :'( ill tri 50 mre tmes but thts it!!!!!!1shift+1

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
What's up Talas?
There's this asshat that keeps flaming the hell out of me. He's annoying as hell.
Well, I think you can just let this go and not sneak into the guys house and kill him in his sleep like with what you did with the last few dozen guys.
But....then again, you're Talas.
Call me...PVC NINJA!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
Man, this is so cool, sneaking into a house like this.
Talas' plan is foiled!
Hey! Who's there?
Damn it. I'm caught.
I hope this idea works.
I don't know...you don't LOOK that much like my grandmother...

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
So it turned out he caught me because he caught a glimpse of my skin in the dark.
Gee, that sucks, Talas.
So that would make you, like, the Ultimate Ninja, Cheaty?
HATE CRIME!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
n00b jrnol: evry1 har h8 me i don no y thy just keep tellng me to lieve thy are the meanest peeps evar
omfg lol wtf i dun lik kngdom harts becse lnce bass plays sefiroth!!!1
Get away from me before I rip out your guts and feed them to you.
i tried mi bst to fite in bt thy stll dn't lke me no mtter how mch i tri to tlk to them :(
do u no hw to mke my wang biggar i tried so many stuff but cant????
Why the hell are you trying to talk to me? Piss off.
bt it dun mttar because i met the collest parson ever and he's my friand!!!!!1
omfg u r so cool will u marry me i think i m in luv wit you
omg wtf lol htting urself with hmmer hrts so much!!!1 ow ow ow ow XD

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
Damn that Orlando Bloom. He stole my nickname. I'M the original "Orly."
That nickname always sounded to me like what girls to do guys sexually.
Why do you think people call me that?
So you give oral to guys? Really?
Other way around, you frut loop.
Ohhhhh. So guys give YOU oral. I understand now.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
Final Fantasy X-2 was a really dissapointing game. I can't believe Square made something like that.
It took Charlies Angels and merged it with a crappy sequal to FFX.
I wonder what other forms of entertainment will use that same idea.
What? Merging a popular movie with an already popular creation?
Bugsinater 2: Rabbit Season.
Primary Target: Elmer Fudd, you have been terminated.
You screwy wabbit.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
Are video games racist? If you had ever played a Mario and Luigi game, you would have noticed something.
Both of the brothers are italian sterioypes, with big moustaches and say stuff like "Mama Mia."
" Is it a coincidence that this video game series has become a classic? What does this tell us about video games? "
This just in: No one cares.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
Man, Naruto is awesome, Lord Thief.
Naruto is a loser. All he does is keep doing Sexy no Jitsus all the time.
Dude, he does it for the first 10 minutes or so. By that logic, all Darth Vader does is walk around and talk.
Yeah, and take over rebel ships. He'd still be just as cool.
Okay, than by that logic I do your mom all the time. Oh wait, I DO do your mom all the time.
........

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-14-04
Our hero spots trouble!
Oh no! A person on the internet acting irrationally! Something must be done!
Meanwhile, on the internet...
How on earth can Yuna be Tidus' mother?
thy alwys lok adn act liek thay r in luv so tht mst mean she is his mther!!!!!1
omfg wtf who r u lol?????
I....AM....CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-15-04
The commercial...
We are from the movie industry. We frequently complain about pirating, yet we do nothing about the problem ourselves.
Instead of lowering prices to make people prefer our stuff, we made this commercial to make you feel guilty.
You still have to pay $50 for a small popcorn, but pirating is YOUR fault not ours.
I wonder what kind of idiot would fall for this commercial...
You are very bad people. Stop buying cheaper stuff illegally and buy our expensive crap!
omfg wtf how can teh peeps be so evl?????

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-15-04
Hey, DH2. Check it out. I got an invisibility cloak.
Cool, DPR. Like the one in the Harry Potter movies?
Yeah, they were auctioning it off on eBay.
Man, you can get anything from that site now.
Well, I'm off to look at girls in the shower.
I am experiencing a slight jealousy.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-15-04
Cheaty Attempts Stand Up Comedy.
So this guy walks into a bar with his fingers in his ears....
Boo! You suck ass! Get off the stage!
Oh, okay...let me try another joke...What do you think of that George Bush?
I think he sucks ass, but not as much as you!
Wait a minute. That voice is familiar...Is that you, Orly?
Um...no...I'm Bob...yeah, that it...I'm Bob.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-15-04
Heroes aren't misunderstood outcasts that can't adapt to society.
HULK HUG!
Die, you inhuman monster!
Heroes aren't real people with real lives and real problems.
Spider-Man, we're out of toilet paper.
*sigh* Again?
Heroes are people that carry guns and kill strangers.
So be a hero. Get a gun.
I am dead.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-15-04
You know, Goldeneye is my favorite first person shooter ever.
Eternal Darkness is better.
What did you just say?
I said Eternal Darkness is better than Goldeneye.
That's what I thought you said.
I CAN FEEL THE BURNING!!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-15-04
In our last strip you may have noticed, we mentioned Eternal Darkness.
What DH2 meant to say was PERFECT DARK not Eternal Darkness.
We are very sorry for this mistake and hope to avoid this confusion in the future.
As a matter of fact, we are punishing DH2 by selling him as a slave to the war planet Zartox.
On Zartox...
Work you pathetic scrap of metal!
Man, this SUCKS.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-15-04
DH2 goes to Gamestop with his wad of cash from Graduation. Note: This is Gamestop. There just aren't any good store backgrounds.
Let's see what this place has...
Wow! Final Fantasy Anthologies! Final Fantasy Chronicles! Prince of Persia: Sands of Time! RPG Maker 2!
Lord Thief, I'm not going to be able to leave my house for the next few months...
Awww...

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
You have need of my assistance, oh great and supreme leader?
Yes, indeed my loyal servent. Our plans for world domination are in major danger!
Oh yes, I heard. Agent Ryker was holding our blue prints for the ultimate weapon but is missing and presumed dead.
The culprit must be aware of our plans! He must be a very smart and skilled opponent!
lol tht ded dood hd a col lookng ppr on him too bda i cant read :'(

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
Hello. We are aware you have our plans. We will discuss a compromise so you can return them. Am I allowed to enter?
omfg ok u can cum into mi house!!!!1
This must be a smart one. He even developed his own code language.
i dnt no who u r bt i alwys allw strngers into my house
I think he knows this is a trap. He must have orders to sacrifice himself instead of being captured.
omfg look at ths trik i lerned col huh????

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
wtf halp mi thy r tryng to kil me!!!!1
Huh? What's going on, n00b?
thes peeps r afta me nd thy no mi wun wekness!!!1
Huh? What's that?
Greetings. I am Agent Victoria. Give me the plans this instant.
omfg wtf it's a girl noooooooo!!!!!1

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
Get out my way. I am ordered to eliminate anyone who tries to prevent me from reaching my objective.
So..you look about...16...you're wearing a school girl outfit...and you're cartoon girl.
What does that have to do with anything?
Because it tells me just the perfect way to defeat you.
I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. Victoria, meet Imoto. Imoto, meet Victoria.
I AM A TENTACLE MONSTER.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
i manged to get awy frm teh gurl but now i ned a place to hide if mor cum
ths burger king is a god plce...hey dnt i no u????
No sir, we have never met before. I am not trying to retreive plans that you stole from one of my partners.
okz i want too brgers smll frys and soda
Thank you for coming. Here are your tranquilzers--I mean food.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
We have breaking news: this studio is actually going to report something worthwhile. An evil army is planning on taking over the world.
They reportingly want some secret plans that a group of youngsters have. They had taken a hostage to make sure they participate.
Are you willing to hand over the plans to save the n00b, Mr. Lance?
Can't the army just attack the main base of the terrorists?
" And now a statement from our own President Bush... "
mi fello mericans we cant nuke the terrist thy dun hav any oil--i men wepons of mas destrcton

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
Surrender the plans this instant or we will kill the most powerful of your species, n00b!
Most powerful of my species...n00b?
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
What's so funny?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-16-04
The FFTSB plans the attack...
Lance, how much longer before we reach our destination?
We should reach the base in five minutes...
Now men, this could be the fight of our life...some of us may not make it out alive. I
*sniff* Hold me.
Meanwhile...
.......
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-17-04
Here we are on the main base...what the heck? Where is everyone?
It looks to me like everyone evacuated...
I wonder what would make them leave their own main base?
omfg lol wtf i prssed all teh bttons and nw theres pison gas evrwer!!!!!!shift+1
You are such a fucking moron.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-17-04
And then it turned out that that the poison gas was just Lysol....
So you are saying that n00b tricked the terrorists, making them abandon their base, saving the day?
Yeah...
That means that n00b saved the day...
Meanwhile, in Hell...
Sir, sir! The whole place is covered in ice!
Are you telling me that Hell has frozen over?

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-17-04
I know you got one, Orly. Hand it over. Trust me, it's not worth it.
Don't try to mess with me, Cheaty. I know the risks! I don't care!
Orly, no! You have too much to live for! Don't end it like this!
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME! I'M ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD!
Do you have a friend or relative that has purchased an N-Gage system from Nokia?
If so, call 1-800-NGE-CRAP. Please hurry. Your call can make all the difference.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-18-04
Man, Skibbleyboo, you are so cool! I never ever met a person on the internet as cool as you!
I agree! Please, father my children, Skibbles!
He's not a cool internet user I tell you! He's a chicken! A chicken!
No way! Skibbleyboo is not a chicken! You're crazy!
" He wears a disguise to look like human guys, but he's not a man he's a Skibbleyboo... "
Just look at him you fools! He's obviously a chicken! Let go of me! I'm not crazy! You are the ones that are crazy!
Bawk-Caw???

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-18-04
Step One: A random person spots the joke on a form of entertainment.
I'm Rick James, bitch!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Step Two: The joke gets spread all across the whole country to every single person.
Did you see the Chappelle Show yesterday? It was freaking hilarious as hell.
I'm Rick James, bitch!
Step Three: Shut the Fuck up its not funny anymore.
I'm Rick James, bitch!
Father Brandon, I swear...If you make that lame joke one more time...

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-18-04
Sorry DH2. I'm going to be vacationing in Greece until the 18th of next month.
You damn traitor! I spit at your ugly face!
Hey, screw you! I don't need to hang out with you every damn second!
Forget it! I don't need you! You're nothing to me!
And so...
I'd like to introduce to you my new co-host, Lord Thief.
Hiya everyone.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-18-04
Welcome back to Crocidile Hunter. Before the break we were showing you one of the deadliest creatures on the internet, a troll.
Trolls aren't that rare at all. You can find them almost anywhere you look. It is usually very easy to tell if someone is a troll or not.
Trolls lure unsupecting prey by making traps, usually incredibly stupid comments. It causes other people to react harshly.
The other people enter the trap, and try to argue with the troll. This is how the troll gets fed. The more the people argue, the better the feeding.
You fools! Cloud is really a girl! Why do you think he wore a dress to get into Don Corneo's place?
Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something?

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-18-04
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I still manged to keep it...
" Manged? "
Darn, I meant managad.
" Managad? "
SON OF A BIRCH.
" Birch? "

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-18-04
DH2 is playing the Final Fantasy Anthology version of Final Fantasy VI.
Okay...now I'm just press " Attack. "
" Slash! "

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-19-04
Hey there, what's going on, Shooooomes?
Nothing much, man.
How can nothing be going on, Shooooomes?
..........
Shouldn't something be going on, Shooooomes?
Dude, seriously, shut the fuck up.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-19-04
i ned soem halp i wnt to bui sme armor bt don't have enouf gil
What are you? Some kind of idiot? Samurai/Dragoon is a terrible combination! It won't give you as much a boost as a Dark Knight/Dragoon boost.
still, its col to mess arund and see wich stats wrk god for u
Your not supposed to do that! You're supposed to allign each of you jobclasses in a style that works best! That is how this game MUST be played!
And so FFXI was ruined by people who forgot it was just a game.
dood im jst tring to hav fun u r maeking ths into work
Fun? What is that? Some kind of bug?

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-19-04
Hey, how would you like a piping hot Bacon Cheeseburger or a Spicy Hot Chicken sandwich?
Please stay the hell away from me.
Maybe you would like some croutons and Newman's Own dressing to pour on that delicous Ceaser Salad?
Stop following me, you fucking loser.
I work for Wendy's. Unofficially.
We've had reports you've been stalking several people. Come with me, sir. Unofficially.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-19-04
In an underground tunnel on another planet...
Master, preparations have begun for the new stage of our master plan.
Exellent...now we will get our revenge on the master genius, n00b!
heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Who are you and how did you get in here?

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-20-04
Stripcreator comics suck. The comic options are way to limited to do everything the way you want to.
Maybe, but it looks better than the strips I draw with my own two hands.
omfg look at me i m teh bear and stuff omg wtf omg!!!!!!!!1
omfg nooo u look just liek me r u an evil demon???????
lol no u fool i m ur long lost twin sister omfg lol wtf!!!!!!!!!1

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-20-04
I finally figured out why Nokia would bother to try to make a sequal to the N-Gage system.
Wow, that's amazing. Even I couldn't figure that out.
Also, by realizing that answer, I also managed to reach a higher plain of existance.
Are you serious?
FEAR ME YOU PATHETIC HUMAN!!
NOOOOO!!! JUST BY LOOKING AT YOUR AWESOME PRESENCE I HAVE BEEN TURNED TO ASHES!!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-20-04
Super Street Fight II: Hyper Special Edition Revival
Street Fighter Alpha II: Supreme Deluxe Collection
Street Fighter Turbo II: Ultimate Fighter EX Plus

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-21-04
I AM THE KING OF NO PANTS.
That's impossible, Orly.
Why is that?
Many people have already claimed that title. Tycho from Penny Arcade...Dom from MegaTokyo...etc. Try something different.
And so...
I AM THE KING OF NO PANTS OR UNDERWEAR.
For the sake of humanity, please go back to King of Pants.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-21-04
So here it is, the 50th FFTSB comic strip, Lord Thief.
We have already gotten so far, Deaths Head II.
Yet we still have so many potential comic strips to make.
That is very true.
Lets hope that they are better then this one.
Yes, lets.

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