All comics by JudgeMeHarshX

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-04-03
Somewhere in the Midwest...
Hi! What's your name?
Pinkus Garvey XXI
Want to see a trick?
Sure.
ALAKAZAM!
We need to be friends.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-04-03
Several days later...
Hey, Pinkus.
Look at this. The conservative government has issued another pointless tax cut to the wealthiest 5% of America.
...
...
ALAKAZAM!
Just one conversation. That's all I want.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Outside the White House...
Hey there, kiddo.
Hey! It's President George W. Bush!
Be proud of America, it's the Fourth of July!
You mean be proud of an imperialistic way of life, bent on invading other nations based on faulty intelligence while selling their oil to independent contractors?
Happy Fourth of July.
It's not nice to disagree with the government.
Independent thought is dangerous like that.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
In Pinkus's Mind...
The Bush Administration makes me so angry sometimes, Jesus.
Speak unto me, my child.
All 50 states are in the red economically, and the working poor have so little support.
Meanwhile, our foreign policy approval ratings hover in the low 50's, something unseen in American history.
You sure do listen well. Can I tell you more?
Sure. I'm not going anywhere for a while.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
How do you feel being stereotyped and degraded based on your religious choices?
I mean, if it were me, I'd voice my opposition to the right-wing government.
...
Are you going to get out of my bedroom, or do I have to call the police?

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Hey Jesus, how do you get around if you're on that cross?
Really want to know?
Think of it as a big pogo stick.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Look at this! Upping the weapons research budget! I despise President Bush!
It could be worse.
How? How could it be worse? At least under Clinton we had a stable economy!
Well..
He could be El Foka.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Hi there, Pinkus. I'm here to grant you three wishes.
Really? Give me a second.
A Democratic Congress, President, and George W. Bush tried for war crimes.
Wrong! King Abdullah reigns forever in the 1,000 year Reich of our Dreams! Power! Jihad!
Man...I wish I hadn't done LSD.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Here, Jesus. Deliver this to El Foka.
Done, my homie.
I hope he gets it soon.
El Foka, I have a message from Pinkus Garvey. He says "Go to Hell".
I found that very passé and humorless. It's too overdone.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Well, I'm back from the trip to the lake, Robot-Z.
Did you and the parents enjoy it?
It was all right, but I lost my car keys again.
You probably left them in the car again.
Maybe. I'm not diving to the bottom of the lake to get them, though.
I see your point.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
I'm tired of your crap, Pinkus. El Foka was right, I don't need to be your letter carrier.
Don't let his words influence you.
What he says is gospel! I quit! Find a new messenger!
Why don't you just go tell El Foka to quit inciting riots?
Hey boy-ee, you best back up off Pinkus's turf or yo' face gone' get busted!
You must not be a man of strong conviction.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Now that was just disgusting.
Hee Hee

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
The power of Christ compells you!
Compels me to what?
Um...
Go to the 7-11 and get me a Big Gulp!
Go away.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
You know, I've been thinking...
Oh, great! Every day, something about the conservatives! If I weren't tacked to this kebab, I'd walk away!
Why don't you just stop whining? Come on, then! Tell me, what were you thinking? I'm dying to know!
Well, nevermind. I guess I won't go get you that Slurpee, then.
I am mistaken. Love the sinner, they say.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Hello again, pure American youth!
I want a question answered right now, President Bush.
Shoot.
How come you were hesitant to take military action in Liberia, where our help was actually needed?
Let's just call it "Oiliberation"
Figures.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
God...are you out there? I've got a lot of problems I want to talk to you about.
Help me be strong and survive the conservative government. Give me the strength to maintain my I.Q. under the Bush Administration.
Give me t...
Shut up! Shut up! God, my kid was right, you're annoying as hell!

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
What can I do to stop the conservatives, God?
Well...
I'd make it rain locusts and kill their first born sons. But that's me.
No wonder people always ask for your help.
Hazards of the job.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
Hello, my child.
Hello, Father Mother.
Have you ever been tempted by the flesh? That supple, chalky white skin? So tender and soft...just aching to be touched?
You have three seconds to get out of my back yard.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
In Jesus's Motel-6 Room...
If you donate $100 to the Jesus Christ Almighty Church of Redemption, you will be guaranteed a place in eternal heaven after the apocalypse erases the sinners from the earth.
Jesus and his divine good in heaven call to you! Donate now, and the end of the world will hold only promise for you and your loved ones!
The world is supposed to end?

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
In Fokaland...
El Foka, my comics aren't consistent in their dark comedy.
Oh.
Visit El Foka's Comics at http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=el_foka&ID=0
Mine, too.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
There are only so many things I can complain about in the course of a day, you know.
I always figured you were a bottomless pit of gloom and anti-republicanism.
I mean, people ignore the fact that there are some democrats I don't like, too.
Oh, great. Here we go.
I'll always consider Reagan just a confused Democrat!
Me too, Pinkus. Me too.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
In hell...
So how's life, giant winged Satan?
It's had its highs and lows.
Doing anything for the holiday weekend?
Actually, I might go up to Earth and visit my illegitimate human daughter.
In hell...
Who? Laura Bush?
No. Jordanne Kauffman.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
We need to have a talk.
I'm worried about you.
You hardly ever eat, and you've been getting really thin.
It's okay, though. I'm here for you. Just...admit it so I can get you help.
You're anorexic, aren't you?
Don't talk to me.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
You would think after a term in office, people would catch on.
A leader who led his people to war twice and has watched the economy collapse.
Who has led invasions for the sake of oil...
...and ignored the citizens on the poverty line.
But people never caught on, President Bush.
Are we talking about Saddam Hussein?

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
There's a kid I know who acts like a big, tough goth guy.
He dyes his hair black, lives in a cave of a bedroom, and listens to Korn.
Does he still get rides from his mother?
Yeah.
Then he's not hardcore.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-05-03
More on the goth, Jesus. He says that it takes no talent at all to make these comics.
Really...
That, if he wanted he could make better ones by hand and be published.
Has he ever been published?
I didn't think so.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
This might sound odd, JudgeMeHarshX of the Newgrounds Politics Forum, but could you savagely maim El Foka?
Done.
Hey, El Foka. I'm here to kill you. Pinkus sends his regards.
How could you dare spit threats at me? I'm El Foka, King of Sarcasm, Master of Polit...
w00t.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
That was a nice job you did on Foka.
I try.
But my conscience is impure now, tainted by my guilt.
I've decided to report you to the Homeland Security Department.
Damn.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
The next election is going to be a piece of cake. None of the democrats are organized enough to pose a threat.
So I, George W. Bush, shall run for President of the United States again!
Maybe the Americans will ELECT me this time.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
Back in the desert...
There you go.
Thanks for the fresh nails. These were starting to corrode.
Hey, can I ask you a question?
I've got no way out of it.
How come you don't just jump off when I take the nails out?
You ever walked on this sand without shoes? It's torture!

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
So I sent away my novel proposal to a few publishers today...
Writing the proposal was harder than the book. I'm not even sure if they'll accept it.
I didn't even write mine, and it's the best selling book in the world. First try, too.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
Uh...hey, Jesus.
Well hey there giant winged Satan!
I was thinking about ending this silly Good vs. Evil war.
I was wondering when you'd come around. Just get me down from here and we'll sign a truce.
Actually, I'm just screwing with you.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
We got our first fan mail today!
Dear JMHX, I like your comics, especially the ones about Jesus and Prez. Bush. You need more with the robot, tho. He's not in them anymore. Signed, Morgan C.
Well, Morgan. The next one will be for you.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
I'm sorry, Robot-Z, but in a drunken rage, I asked god to strike you down.
I never expected someone of your intellect to believe in a god!
Wait...
Good. That storyline is over.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-06-03
In Heaven...
Hey, you didn't ask me to strike down Robot-Z.
In Heaven...
I know. I had to plant a bomb in him myself.
In Heaven...
Oh. Fair game to you, then.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
I just discovered the forums today, Jesus.
Are you enlightened?
Foka got there first.
Loser.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
At Guantanamo Bay, Cuba...
I wanted to apologize for reporting you to Homeland Security.
I really do feel bad.
Read this.
Oh damn. You've been paroled.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
Parole, Jesus. He's going to try and kill me.
I would, too, if you put me in a military prison.
Make him see the light, Jesus.
I want to watch this, first. I hear you run like a girl.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
I think, in the spirit of a fair election, I'd choose Howard Dean as my opponent.
Al Sharpton doesn't look too human...
...and I can't pronounce that Cuckaburrow guy from Ohio's name.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
Didn't I blow you up, Robot-Z?
I'm a robot, you idiot. I was rebuilt. Didn't you see Terminator?
Two or Three?
What about one?
There was a Terminator 1?

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
So dad, everyone on earth wants to know where you were on September 11th.
Well...
I couldn't resist the "FREE DRINKS" sign outside the strip club. The whole day just flew by.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
A lot of people come to me for insight. I'm the all-seeing creator, after all.
Then they ask me who will win on Survivor.
You people really want another Dark Ages, don't you??

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
Tea is so much better than Pepsi, Robot-Z.
True. I enjoyed some Earl Grey on my trip through Europe.
I'm not talking about bagged tea, Robot-Z! I'm talking about Lipton Brisk!
Um...
You do know Lipton is OWNED by Pepsi?

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-07-03
I didn't believe it, but I'm actually here to bail out Jesus Christ.
Thanks, man. Things got crazy last night at the bar.
What happened?
Let's just say the poor guy thought it was funny to say "Smite me, road sign."
Ah.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-08-03
In Washington D.C.,
Your policies are horrible, foreign sentiment to the U.S. is at all times lows, the economy is a wasteland, and you've got Colin Powell taking the bullets for you!
All right, I get it. You don't like me. You have any suggestions as to how I can change the "wastleand" of an economy?
Touché, President Bush. Touché.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-08-03
Hi, Robot-Z. You have a determined look in your eyes.
Well, humans just discovered a planet 90 light years away nearly identical to earth!
...yeah.
What good does that do us?
Well, it's a bit far now that I think about it.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-08-03
September 11, 2001
Fear not, my child, for through this tragedy you shall be blessed with eternal peace in heaven.
The love of God shall shield you from the pains of this day, and you shall be honored on earth eternally for your sacrifice.
...and we've got something special for you.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-08-03
In 2-Panel Land...
Look at that, Dick Cheney received a clean bill of health today.
Must be easy being a robot.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-09-03
It's been raining a lot in Indianapolis these last few days.
Yeah, I saw that on TV. Kokomo is getting pounded.
You'd think three days of flooding and tornadoes would be enough on them.
Nah, sometimes dad likes to be an ass to poor people like that.

 

by JudgeMeHarshX
7-09-03
"Dear JMHX, your use of Jesus in your comics is sick. You need to be put away. Jesus died for you, and he didn't die to be mocked later on. Repent for your sins now or go to hell."
Harsh. What was it?
My fifth hate mail about the way we have conversations.
I don't see anything wrong with them.

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