All comics by Lord_Vodek

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Hey big man upstairs can i borrow a legion of angels i need to trick George Bush into thinking I'm You...
Sure have them back by tuesday...
by Lord_Vodek, 10-01-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-02-08
The confederates long since reduced to inactments prepared there real weapons to sluahgter the union actors...More stupidity...*sigh* i don't get paid enough...
The forces of the confederates Will Win. Long Live the Confedaracy!!!
To Battle!!!
The actors did not realize they were living there last hours...
Prepare to charge men!
Idiot... These reenacments dont matter...
As the southern idiots are aressted for murder the sole surviving actor relizes that had it not been for the fact they were rednecks the battle wouldn't have lasted hours on end.
Oh the sluaghter what have we done?
The horror! Your gonna Hang!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-02-08
God and the devil played a game of chance and once again got bored becuase he wanted to end the world despite being more skilled he lost.
Told you, you are always doomed to lose.
Well you've won again now I gotta torture a minion...
No no no more pl-please...
Quite Vermin worm...
The day finally came to an end... After a lot of whining...
Hi honey how was your day?
It was bad I lost to god, my minions complained, and the narrator is still picking on me! I Mean come on why did he make me marry death?

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-02-08
Ow that looked painful is all i gotta say...
Ouch...
Stupid matador whos next?
Then a new and braver (albeit stupider) matador stepped up to do battle...
Toro! Toro! Toro!
Idiot...Well i have no problem beating him too...
Another painfull end it seems... Or is it?
Ouch scuffle scuffle
well at least he can take a hit...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-02-08
A stupid American struggles to realize there's a beaner in front of him...
Hola! ?Como te llamas?
What the fuck?
Nick continues to struggle to understand
Me llamo el Rafeal...
It's lke hes speaking a foreign languae...
The beaner decides to speak American...Oh wow Nick's ignorance is rubbing off on me...American? Ha I meant english
Yeah speaking louder and slower really helps jackass...
I------CAN'T-----UNDERSTAND----YOU!!!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-03-08
Neither the Bull or the matador survived the bloody conflict...
I still think i won...
Another fool steps up in the name of entertainment...
The next bull can't win against me
Phhh easy battle...
In an unexpected turn of events they get married and live happily ever after...Poor bull...
Don't Hurt me I'll give you Tea and Crumpets!!!
Tea and crumpets??? Oh Boy!!!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-06-08
No comment...
Holy Chico!!!
WTF!!! I never took Mexican class...
Again no comment...
Como te llamas...Me llamo Bicho...
I speaka AMERICAN ONLY!!! Not no chinese mecican crap...
Idiot...
Ah fuck you you racist American Bastard!!!
Damn bitch got mean...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-07-08
Duh....Duh....
UGH hahaha perrty rainbow
Dude I'm very anti-retard...
The plot gets stupider as in dur dur dur
Huh huh huh
Ok dude i'm killing you now
Retards don't die
Ow i want my mommy what happened DuR?
Dude just die...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-07-08
I am dragon hear me roar!
Ow...
Oh sorry buddy
Why do we chinese revere monsters that eat us?
It's becuase your close-minded
Damn

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-07-08
A ninja prepares to gut a little girl a how cute
Prepare to die foolish mortal girl...
Hi mr ninja man
???
Ah cute little girl hi
Die idiot
Ninja gets powned
Say what now?......Ah shit
HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-20-08
I wonder...
Hey how many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know how many?
...................
Well???????
Hey let's go play golf!!!
Ok...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-21-08
Prepare yourself for I am Count Spankula!
I'm wearing speedos so you be hitting my bare ass.
It is time for me to take upon you the torment of a thousand spankings
Oh?...Kinky
What your gay to OMG so am I wanna go out?
Sure

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-22-08
This is why I am so hated bu atheists whenever I sneeze i blow up the earth
I mean if it were them they would destroy it all the time they sneezed humanity would last
Fuck it it's too much pressure i quit Hey jesus your in charge im going on a permantent vacation
Ah come on me and Mohamed were gonna go watch the game with Moses

 

Hmmm I'm not even gonna ask
Ha this video game is killer.
Look at me I'm a balerina
by Lord_Vodek, 10-22-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-22-08
You died for my sins?
Thats right little buddy
So your dad had you crucified becuase we touch ourselves at night?
Pretty much yeah
Sucker
Little shit...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-22-08
Ah shit i knew I shouldn't have gone to Texas today
Shut up wetback fucker before i peirce you full of metal
So you want my wallet or what?
No i just felt like venting my anger on a random mexican you can go at the end of this strip
Oh good so see you later
Ok bye

 

You said this was heavan?
You think this is bad you should see hell
by Lord_Vodek, 10-22-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-08
Dear Betty you have been accepted to hogsluts scool for Bitchcraft and sluttery
If you choose to accept a pimp wizard will arrive to pick you up
Please we are despreate for bitches and whores

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-08
A sad satire of my real life
If she would kiss me we'd be alot happeir i pay for all the dates and do all the driving and nothing havent missed a single important date or time
He is just so not cool enough for me to kiss him and what a loser i use him and he dotes on me
it's really messed up but my gf isnt this bad
It's getting harder to handle im about to give up
Oh well guess i'll make him wait till right before hes gonna dump me then i'll make out with him

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-08
Come on say mama
gaga
Not not gaga mama
fuck you bitch whenever you breast feed me you take me away when i've only had 3 drinks
Ok one you bite two dont use cuss words and three shut the fuck up and say mama before i beat you
uh daddy where are you mama forgot her meds

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-08
Repent you whore
So I been around the block a few times whats wrong with that?
you charged the guys
Two girls sleep with one guy one girl charges the other dosent whos the idiot?
Your a whore
You sexisct pig!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-08
But if you sleep with me I'll let you in
Forget you!
How is this any different than what you did on Earth?
Your an asshole!
I have an 8 inch penis
When are you ready?

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-23-08
Why does god hate me baby?
I don't know maybe becuase of the overbearing way you try to own every relationship your in?
Still not sure if I was high or this was real...I think I was high
I hate you becuase you touch yourself at night!
what do you expect me to do my girlfriend wont even kiss me much less sleep with me

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-25-08
I'm the
Oh my god don't kill me!!!
Why do you atuomaticly asume im gonna kill you?
guy with
Hmmm maybe it's the mask and the bloddy scythe but im not sure
Was that sarcasm?
the scythe
No not at at all

 

I don't know which one is uglier or scarier
by Lord_Vodek, 10-25-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-25-08
Life sucks so you need to get over it
Here's what you do you either take that happy pill and swallow it or...
...you kill yourself thus proving that you are a pathetic coward that the world is better off with out. Thank you this has been a message from Lord_Vodek

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-25-08
Please note my girlfriend has not broken up with me i just got bored
Ok loser I'm breaking up with you now bye
Why me god why me?
Becuase your a loser who isn't funny, makes bad comics, and have a tendancy to talk to walls
shit god this is your fualt i blame you
So what you in for?
I blamed god for all my problems

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-25-08
Knock Knock
Jesus are you sure this is where we were supposed to go for the cosume party?
Yes Tommy I told you they are deaf
So what we just open the door and walkin?
Yes
Turns handle...
It's locked
I have an idea...Open Seaseme!...Shit well im outta ideas

 

By now you all have realized im not funny have a nice day
by Lord_Vodek, 10-25-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-26-08
A police lineup after getting stabbed
It was the black guy!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-28-08
Hmmm i love period pussy
Wow that was one hell of a period
It was delicous
amazing
See you next month

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-28-08
Holding this position is easy...
Have we gotten the order yet?
Not yet
For the brown coats!!! Charge!!!
Down with the Alliance!!!!

 

The Mastermind behind the alliance startegy at the Battle of Storming Desert
Hehe the browncoats are screwed...hehe
by Lord_Vodek, 10-28-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-28-08
Hey baby wanna come to my place?
Um ok follow me for a second i have lemonaid
All right get in my truck--------------------------WHAT THE FUCK? AH SHIT
Hello I'm Chris Hansen why dont you take a seat right over there...come on take a seat

 

You have 100,987,654,321,098,765,432,109,876 new prayers
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
by Lord_Vodek, 10-28-08

 

She Finnally Kissed me on our 6th week aniversary What i dont know is...
I have one thing to say Fuck yeah finnally god six weeks without kissing i nearly died but now she kisses me so it's all good
God i wish my boyfriend was here right now i need to make out with some one oh hey tommy come here i wanna tell you something
by Lord_Vodek, 10-30-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-30-08
12:12 on lunch break
dude you spazzing out?
I pulled an all nighter and have been living off caffine since 8 pm last night
12:13
that why your shaking?
I TOLD YOU I WAS TIRED!
12:25
chillax your getting mean
wheres my coffee...zzzzzz...zzzz...zzzz....COFFEE...zzzz

 

This is what i see after no sleep in over 24 hours and three pots of coffee
either im hallucinating or that chicken is a giant cock
by Lord_Vodek, 10-30-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-30-08
dumbass
Why do i get the feeling shes cheating on me?
Hey tommy wanna make out?
haha what a loser wait im screwed
it's like she is just messing with my head while she sneaks around behind my back
wow tommy oh god keep going i might even orgasm uhhhhhh uhhhhhh uhhhhhh
Damn dude
i wonder what shes doing right now
UHHHHHHH!!! UHHHHHHHHH!!! UHHHHHHHH!!!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-30-08
Yes boss?
Susan why do you hate me I have done nothing to offend you have you
But sir I dont hate you!
How far are you willing to go to prove that
Four hours later...
I hate you
i dont care that was great

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-30-08
But I love you...*sob* *sob*
Get out you ugly whorey slutty bitch!
Fine im leaving now *sob* *sob*
Good go
What every guy invariable thinks
Im going *sniff* *sob*
Good and dont come back till im incredibly horny!!!

 

And so they fought to the death kicking biting screaming and otherwise giving me a headache till only one stood...
Im gonna kill you ugly bitch!
Look whos talking bring it bitch
by Lord_Vodek, 10-30-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-30-08
Shut up just shut up!
Now everything will be alright put the gun down and we'll talk this over...
No it wont fucker Die stupid brown coat
Uhhh...

 

This is why we Penses dont dress up for halloween
Ah you make such a dute CarrotTop
by Lord_Vodek, 10-30-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-30-08
I have Genital herpes!
And I dont and we are trying to change that
Thats why we dont use once daily valtrax so we can increase the risk of spreading Herpes
We dont use condums either
Again? Im not sure you caught it...
Ok big boy

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-31-08
Oops
Morpheus is gonna be PISSED
ERROR ERROR ERROR

 

I am pleased to announce my innocence in this event
by Lord_Vodek, 11-01-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-02-08
What the hell happened to you?
It's a long story...
So tell me the short version...
Ok a long story short?
Once upon a time the end...

 

Honey I'm Home
It was an ax-ident
by Lord_Vodek, 11-02-08

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-03-08
I'm not here i dont even exist
How is that exactly?
Your hallucinating i'm a figmant of your imagination
Really?
Yes this is a hallucination cuased by the loss of your wife and kids on hlloween your actually talking to yourself in a padded room
Fascinating can you pass the joint?

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