All comics by Shelley

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by Shelley
2-26-01
Maybe I should read a book.
I'm sleepy.

 

by Shelley
2-26-01
Hey, did I ever tell you my idea for a screenplay?
Uh-oh.
It's Jackie Chan.. as twins. But one of the twins is played by Michael Richards!
Wanna go upstairs?

 

by Shelley
2-26-01
I am Satan, master of fire! Behold, my powers over evil!
I command you, transform yourself into an image of utmost evil!
What have i done?
Hit me baby, one more time!

 

by Shelley
2-27-01
Hi, i'm Rick! Can I take events from your life and make them into comics for myself?
Wanna do coke off a credit card?

 

by Shelley
2-27-01
hot down here..
For all of your bad behaviour and foul humour, you, Rick, are damned to Hell!
So, is there any weed down here?
You might want to talk to Dan. I think he saved you a seat.

 

by Shelley
2-27-01
I'm a chicken.
Bok.

 

by Shelley
2-27-01
I don't have a credit card to do K off of.
I have a check.
That'll do.

 

by Shelley
2-27-01
Hey, I'm happily married, I love my wife so much! Can I buy you a drink?
Vodka tonic, and make it snappy.
Boo-ya!

 

by Shelley
2-27-01
Thanks for all the drinks and coke, but I gotta go.
I'm gonna marry that girl.
After I ditch my current wife, of course.

 

by Shelley
2-27-01
Wanna go out this weekend?
Sure, that's be fun.
The Next Day...
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't want a relationship. Sorry.
Fuck you.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
You have 0 new Emails.
You have a new email!
Just kidding. You have 0 emails.
Urge to kill.. rising...

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Brad, no one loves me. Teach me to be a badass.
I'm not really a badass.. I just play one in the movies.
So what *do* you do, then?
Sleep with Jennifer Aniston.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
So.. I'm here to tell you all about why drugs are bad. First, any questions?
What's so bad about them?
They're really expensive.
Couldn't I just rob people?

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
No, Tiffi, robbing people for drug money is wrong.
Oh.
Now sleeping with guys for drugs, that's something else.
You might wanna invest in a tube top.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
But Rick, I don't want to sleep with boys for drugs.
Hey, think of it this way...
Maybe you can write-off your tube top on your taxes as a business expense.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hey Shelley, your bitter, angsty relationship comics are funny!
Hey, thanks James.
Why are you so bitter and angsty?
I'm not, everything I write just comes out that way.
My, what specious reasoning.
Wanna go do coke off a credit card?

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Yee-haw.. being president is fun!
And it's nice to know that the entire country is united behind me.
Uh-oh, I seem to have triggered one of them there apocolypses.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hey, our scripts are due on the first of March.
No problem. Today's, what, the 27th?
You do realise there are only 28 days in February.
It's February?

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
I will sit down and create a fine masterpiece of cinema for my class tomorrow.
Ok, so there's this man who makes a gigantic island theme park full of dinosaurs. But they run amok!

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
...so then they run amok, chasing these kids through the island!
You realise that is the plot of a certain Spielberg movie, right?
Too much like "Saving Private Ryan", right?
Think I can get Tom Hanks?

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Rick told me about your movie idea.
I have to bap you on the head now. Don't take it personally.
That's ok, Allen.
The air in there might hurt my hammer.
You do understand that they run amok, right? Like, really really amok.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
So I hear some Favus guy is auctioning all his pr0n so he'll have money.
That's a shame. I'd rather a man have good pr0n than money.
He's getting really good feedback on eBay, though.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hungover and stuck at work, Shelley mentally prepares herself for the rest of the day.
Zzz.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hey favus, I bought all your pr0n off eBay.. and I'm giving it back to you.
Now I have money *and* pron. I am perfect.
Well, I didn't want the pron anyway. I'm freaky, but not that freaky.
What's wrong with it?
Barbara Walters, naked and mowing lawns? What's with that?
All is lost.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Sorry favus, I forget that not everyone knows who Barbara Walters is. Love me anyway.
a relationship built on pron is the best kind.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hey, remember that really funny comic you made and then lost when your hand slipped?
God yes. It was witty, urbane, intelligent. It was all things to all people. If they didn't think I was the perfect woman before, they would after seeing that comic.
Too bad your hand slipped.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
What is it that you like about me?
You're easy on the eyes.
You're so funny and smart!

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hey, how's it going?
Good. Hey, I thought you were gonna call me last night. You said you would.
Awkward 2 minute pause...
huh? I wasn't paying attention.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
What They Say
Are you going to the party tonight?
I like your shirt.
What they mean.
I like cheese.
I am overcome with the desire to form a relationship with you and hope that complimenting you will put me in your favour.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
All Your Base Are Belong to Us!
All Your Base Are Belong to Us!
Shut up.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Relationships don't always lead to sex, Rick. And compliments don't always mean we want a relationship.
But you just said..
Well, we're weird like that. We're not consistent..
All is lost.
Nah, I can hook you up with some of favrus' pr0n.
Sweet.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
So tell me something interesting about yourself.
Well, sometimes at night I spontaneously transform into Angelina Jolie.
Sweet.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Who is this Hughes fella I keep hearing about.
I dunno.
Rumour has it, you called out his name during sex..
Oh no, I was saying "Who is? Who is?" I get a little too drunk sometimes, hard for me to keep track.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hmm.. what can I add to my Island Dinosaur Theme Park script that might make it better?
Scrap the Island. Ok, a bunch of genetically created dinosaurs run amok on.... um. A ship! A gigantic ship that hits an iceberg and sinks!
I'm a genious.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Oh, Dragon Xero, I give every guy a fair chance. I'm a fair and just woman.
Thanks, I was beginning to have my doubts about your gender.
That wasn't *your* junky car out there, was it?

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
I love you
ok
I hate you.
ok.
This is where you tell me how you feel.
ok.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
So what's your fascination with Angelina Jolie about?
She's hot.
Yes. Yes she is.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
I think you managed to make all your male friends paranoid.
Wha?
With all your comics about boys being dumb..
They aren't dumb as individuals. As a group though.... whew. Lemmings.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
I haven't done much work on my script. I should at least try to write something besides comics.
Bling Bling.
That'll do, pig.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
I can't come up with an end for my script!
Put all the characters in a plane and have it crash into the ocean.
God, I'm brilliant.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Allen, if you knock over my card house again, I'll whap you.
It's not my fault that those card houses are examples of shoddy construction.
whap.

 

by Shelley
2-28-01
Hey Rick, betcha can't write a good comic right now.
Betcha you can't, either.
Touche.

 

by Shelley
3-01-01
Hey Shelley, have you noticed that you haven't stooped to using stupid catchphrases in your comics? You haven't even used Jesus!
Well, I haven't run out of ideas yet.
hey, was someone talking about me?
Fuck!

 

by Shelley
3-01-01
What?
[[ Error printing SCRIPT.DOC-- file does not exist.]]
What? What? WHAT?
God hates me.
hee hee!

 

by Shelley
3-01-01
You're wearing the same clothes you did yesterday... did you get laid last night?
No.
Are you sure?
I think I would remember that.
Well, from what I hear...
Shut up.

 

by Shelley
3-01-01
Favus, it really is a shame that things didn't work out for us.
Well, you are a lesbian and all.
Wait.. I'm not a lesbian.
Yes, you are.

 

by Shelley
3-01-01
Finished your script yet?
Indeed. Finally got it printed out and everything.
You know, I finished mine a long time ago. So I had no choice but to laugh at you and Rick trying to finish.
I'm thinking of taking a job as a motivational speaker.
Yeah, all the taunting really helped me work.

 

by Shelley
3-01-01
You ever get the feeling that Allen is planning to kill you.
Yeah.. I wonder why I keep thinking that.
Because he is, probably.
If monkey's ever go extinct, we're in biiiig trouble.

 

by Shelley
3-01-01
I wish we could edit these comics after we make them.
Why?
Because I make stupid typos evey time, and people make fun of me for them.
Ouch.
Buy me a drink.
Ok.

 

by Shelley
3-02-01
Step one: The initial thing is cool. (Days 1-5)
All your base...
Wow! That's so cool!
Step two: Uncoolness sets in (Days 6-9)
Shut up.
All your base...
Step 3: It is tragically unhip to mock the uncool (Days 7-infinity.) Fame is a fickle mistress.
People who say "All your base" are stupid!
So are the people who make fun of them.

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