All comics by TheBigJE

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by TheBigJE
8-24-04
a recently jailed Johnny McCowboy has a strange cellmate
hey there cowboy, lookin for a good time?
no sir, im not... um, i mean, if you're gay i'm cool with that but I am not gay
oh come on, you look like you've been bad, you need a good straightening out
hey wait a second, aren't you jesus? and uh, aren't you a li'l too dead to be gay?
look at all the pretty rainbows...
ok this is just fucking ridiculous

 

by TheBigJE
8-24-04
Johnny McCowboy is a workin man!
hello welcome to Mickey D's can i take your order li'l girl?
i order you to suck my fat hairy cock you goofy motherfucker
....im sorry what?
you heard me, now get on your kneez and start lickin deez before i get my buddies in here and gang rape your sorry bitch ass
im sorry, i had some wax in my ears, you said you wanted a happy meal?
yes mister!

 

by TheBigJE
8-24-04
ghost is sneakin up on the triceratops!
ooo im gonna scare him good
i hope i dont get scared and accidentally neuter any ghosts that may be sneaking up on me
yeah thats right you white mother fucker
*gulp*

 

by TheBigJE
8-24-04
....alright look it doesn't matter HOW it happened, we just have to quit our job at the circus

 

by TheBigJE
8-24-04
do you have to drink coffee while we're doing this? you're gonna spill it all, besides, you're supposed to be holding onto my hips, thats just how its supposed to be done...
....dont look at me like that you perv, i take my conga lines very seriously

 

by TheBigJE
8-24-04
thank you for helping me find my son officer
think nothing of it ma'am, he just got in a little trouble, he's been making some prank calls and ding dong ditching and whatnot...
but did you have to keep him in a jail cell?
oh, that was for his 10 counts of sodomy

 

by TheBigJE
8-24-04
so i see a catwoman commercial right?
and the only thing that comes to my mind is "wow, a mainstream softcore bondage video" but then my friend gave it a review that totally blew that thought outta my mind
so you saw catwoman eh? would you call it a mainstream bondage video with no nudity?
no, most bondage videos try to have a story

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
so i see i am sam right?
everybody gets mad at me cuz i said it was a shitty movie, they're like "oh my god it was so sad you have no taste"
i have taste, i was just pissed off that they didnt use the guy to get any cheap laughs, i am sam? this movie should be named "piece of shit that i wouldn't even use as a pretext for getting laid"

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
why hello there youngster, my you've grown! i just love little boys, they're the greatest!
uh yeah, whatever you say mister...
im serious! they're so nice, and healthy, and athletic...
...
alright lets cut the small talk, we both know what we're here for...... i'll go get the monopoly box
dibs on top hat

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
hi
hi, you're the one with the appointment to meet with the manager i'll assume, you can just go into his office
hello sir, i'll assume you know what im here for, now i'm very good at what i do so, just put some of that sweet ass down
exCUSE me?
im here for the job
ah

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
in tonights PSA we join a young boy who has been misled by the evil that is only known as... GameFAQs
boy i suuuure do love gameFAQs, i suck at video games without the codes and strategies they give me
hold on there billy, you're not serious are you? GameFAQs is bad!
whats so bad about GameFAQs mister?
i'll tell you whats so bad about GameFAQs billy, not only does it endorse terrorism, but it causes brain tumors! do you even know who its run by!?
meanwhile at GameFAQs HQ...
MUWAHAHAHHAA ALL THE STUPID CHILDREN WILL BE MINE WHEN I TEMPT THEM WITH MY CODES AND WALKTHROUGHS/STRATEGY GUIDES! GAMEFAQs FOREVER, HEIL GAMEFAQS!
sir, i must say this is your most evil plan yet.

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
we join Dcom and JE in the chat room, rabid was in there too i guess (dcom will be played by the asian girl on the left, JE is on the right)
so, you guys are homosexuals
its sapien
homo sapien
i don't care what kind of guys you do it with

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
some players are what we categorize as: queerbag ten year olds
YOU'RE ALL GAY IM NUMBER ONE I HAD SEX WITH YOUR MOM, JOIN MY CLAN, HOLY SHIT IS THAT A GIRL!?!?!?!?
some players use a thing called voice masking to sound different
yeah im a hot sexy horny chick, i'll cyber if you let me win
and then there are players known only as: assholes with their music blaring into the mic
*unbearably loud horrible quality rap music*

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
this young man right here is what we call a "n00bz0r"
omfg im totally gonna kill these hostages, the auto shotgun and the awp are the best
here we have the kid who cannot understand "HOW THE FUCK DID THAT DUDE KILL ME!?"
OMFG HOW THE FUCK DID THAT DUDE KILL ME!? HE HAS WALLHACKS, LOOK AT THAT AIMBOT!!!! HE SHOT ME THROUGH THE WALL!!!! WHO IS SPEED HACKING!?!?!?!?
but what would counterstrike be without a good ol terrorist?
*OSAMA HAS SET UP US THE BOMB!*

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
I LOVE SEPHIROTH
I LOVE CLOUD
I LOVE SEPHIROTH
I LOVE CLOUD
I LOVE SEPHIROTH
I LOVE CLOUD

 

by TheBigJE
8-25-04
wind waker is gay, cel shading is gay, it looks like a little kiddie baby game, i hate it, its the worst game ever, it ruined zelda, what a gay game, god its so gay, whoever made it is gay
...
wind waker is gay, cel shading is gay, it looks like a little kiddie baby game, i hate it, its the worst game ever, it ruined zelda, what a gay game, god its so gay, whoever made it is gay
...
Have you ever actually played windwaker!?
.....no

 

by TheBigJE
8-26-04
HITLER!
HITLER!
HITLER!
HITLER!
HITLER!
HITLER!

 

by TheBigJE
8-26-04
we join G.I. Jew as he is heading out for battle!
where are you going?
i'm gonna go balance the checkbook.
whoa! glad he's on our side!

 

by TheBigJE
8-26-04
we join G.I. Jew as he awakens from his slumber
mornin'
good morning
im making potato pancakes
its latkes
whoa! glad he's on our side!

 

by TheBigJE
8-26-04
the entire inuyasha series is summed up in this one comic! inuyasha will be played by blue-2-r and kagome will be played by blonde-1-l, idiocy ensues!
i hate you
i hate you too
i love you now, but i stil act like i hate you
ditto
i'm gonna go fight someone and barely win, and then i will love you but pretend like i hate you
i'll help fight and then love you and pretend like i hate you

 

by TheBigJE
8-29-04
G.I Jew returns from a heated battle
what happened? why were you at fred's for so long?
lets just say... i did his taxes
Whoa! glad he's on our side!

 

by TheBigJE
8-29-04
there was a time when G.I. Jew was but a boy, and his father was general....
hi dad
hi G.I. what do you need?
i need 5 bucks
4 bucks? what do you need 3 bucks for?
Whoa! glad they're on our side!

 

by TheBigJE
8-29-04
its her first time at the gynecologists so the doctor assures her...
dont worry, everythings alright, all you have to do is take off your clothes and get into this gown
so the girl gets into the gown and walks back into the office, the doctor puts her legs in the stirrups....
alright, sometimes the procedure can be a little painful, so if you would like, i could numb the area, would you like me to?
um... ok
the doctor then shoved his head into the gown
NUMMY NUMMY NUMMY NUMMY!

 

by TheBigJE
8-30-04
the latest thing on kids wb!
hey kids, tonight im gonna perform one of those poke raps from the old days
from the golden age when pokemon was considered "cool" but anyways, i haven't finished it so im just gonna drop ya'll a line
....not the best poke rap ever
pikachu! charizard! blastoise! retard! charmander! totodile! dumbshit! pedofile!

 

by TheBigJE
8-30-04
....sooo wanna play dungeons and dragons for the next quadrillion years?
sure

 

by TheBigJE
8-30-04
we join billy as he enters the dungeon of horny amazons, the GM announces his fate
i wanna do it with the hottest chick in the place!
ok, she says "yeah im so hot and i wanna do you really bad"
....could you at least TRY to sound like a chick???
sorry, is this better "oooo i wanna do it with you baaaaaad"
.....you have problems, i hate this game.

 

by TheBigJE
8-31-04
this comic assembled entirely from quotes off of Xbox Live
Metroid prime is the best game ever, it gets sweet after the 8th level
you really have to get past the 8th level to get to the good part of the game
i heard if you beat meta-ridley you get to see samus naked, i want to see samus naked.... i downloaded a half life mod so that my guns look like vash the stampede's
......

 

by TheBigJE
8-31-04
based on true events, we join drago as he tries to get the Xbox that he was grounded from so he can use the voice chat
i got attacked by the cat
but i finally got the Xbox
ALERT! META-RIDLEY! DRAGO IS PLAYING XBOX!!!

 

by TheBigJE
8-31-04
hey cojack, do that cleveland impression hahaha
oh thats naaaaaasty
hey cojack do that cleveland impression hahaha
yo motha smelllls
hey co- AHHHHH!
:)

 

by TheBigJE
8-31-04
tell us Jordan, what is the secret to your success, why do you ALWAYS win?
well, i host games and then i boot someone if they are doing better than me, and then i win
...wouldn't some people consider that CHEATING?
hey, where did he go? *WINK*

 

by TheBigJE
8-31-04
GOD DAMMIT BOY I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND YOUR EITHER MASURBATIN' OR YER PLAYIN THAT DAMN XBOX, JESUS CHRIST, ITS ALWAYS TOUCHIN YERSELF OR THAT DAMN XBOX!

 

by TheBigJE
9-01-04
...jesus christ, WoW beta, why aren't i good enough for you?
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET OFF THAT DAMN COMPUTER! YOU BETTER NOT BE WATCHIN THEM SEX VIDEOS AGAIN!
shut up! ...jesus, does anyone on counterstrike NOT use 1337!?!?
GET OUTSIDE OR I'LL BREAK YOUR VIDEO GAMES!!!!
these trees dont have AV inputs!!! YOU LIED!!!!

 

by TheBigJE
9-01-04
so these two mexican guys..
dude im getting sick of all these racist jokes, someday your gonna tell that in like spain or something and your gonna get your ass kicked, and im gonna be there saying "i told you so"
....whatever dude, im gonna go play pikmin
im surprised you don't call it like.. slavedriver
...

 

by TheBigJE
9-02-04
our hero was captured by hitler and the nazis!!!
well this is just GREAT im in auschwitz... jeez im shmutzin like a gafiltafish
HEIL HITLER! FORWARD!
im movin! im movin! dont get ya matzaballs in a twist!
.....i hate anne frank!
Whoa! glad he's on our side!

 

by TheBigJE
9-06-04
Note from the author: While i enjoy rainbow six: Black Arrow on many occasions, i will acknowledge that its gay as hell
dude, you're not that great at black arrow
well... if i were you i wouldnt wanna mess with me on unreal championship
Note from the author: I'm available to own you at any time in Unreal Championship, my gamertag is GritsNGravy, so dont fuck with me you lil pussies
dude that game is so old, black arrow has top of the line realism and graphics
dude, holding down the right trigger at point blank and "recoil" causing your bullets to go nowhere near your targets general direction is NOT realism
note from the author: Unreal owns Rainbow six, and chicks dig guys who are good at unreal.... rainbow six is an ok time killer though
screw you, rainbow is more popular and more expensive! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! .....i'll kill you at halo 2 anyways

 

by TheBigJE
9-06-04
in class...
you get an F minus
at lunch...
you're gay
between classes...
do me?
NOW you're talkin

 

by TheBigJE
9-10-04
im anna nicole smith and im hot....2 + 2 = 5
what happened to the hot chick?
im anna nicole smith, i marry millionaires and then they die.. and i have a tv show
why hello there
trimspa baby!

 

by TheBigJE
9-10-04
dedicated to all those good ol' minnesota rednecks
i hate black people! i only play country, and jesus music, i want the confederate flag tattooed on my back!
...hey douchewad, we won the war..... and why do you have a southern accent? this is minnesota!
i like guns... and G.W bush... i wanna go hunt some ducks
........i hate you
oh yeah? *sniff* 9/11!

 

by TheBigJE
9-11-04
....what are you doing
playing guitar!
no your not...
yeah i am, ever heard of air guitar?
LAME JOKE ALERT!!!!!! LAUGH AT THE STUPIDITY!
....thats a leaf blower

 

by TheBigJE
9-11-04
note: cojack = Jordan
dude drago... that chick is totally checkin me out
uhhh cojack i think thats a dude....
....
i refuse to believe that is a voice mask! hey baby!

 

by TheBigJE
9-11-04
well since its nine eleven i thought i would do a tribute comic
after all, it was such a big deal and whatnot
so in short... HAPPY NINE ELEVEN!

 

by TheBigJE
9-11-04
in this next series i am creating i am going to explore the idea of... what if i had a clone that was trying to best me in every way...and kill me! well, now we'll find out
now i know what your thinking... that this comic is a good idea, or perhaps its a bad idea, but whatever you think about the idea as i tell it to you, im sure through bad plots and lame jokes...
we'll have a good time either flaming me or praising me, now lets do this, this next comic is JvJ episode one!

 

by TheBigJE
9-11-04
dude wtf
dude wtf
whoa, you talk in ways i have only thought possible on the internet... but i thought i was the only one who did that!
and you are as astonishingly handsome as i am! and the same in every way!
....well, i guess im gonna try to kill you now

 

by TheBigJE
9-11-04
whoa, you are not gonna kill me, im a master of all kinds of fighting... i should probably be in the octagon right now come to think of it
liar! i will kill you! besides... i have a gun!
gun? .....look! its tom morello!
TOOOOOOOM!!! COME BACK!!!! RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE RUUUULES!!!!! ........waaaait a second...
he's a tricky one

 

by TheBigJE
9-11-04
dude that bastard evil jordan is playing crimson skies!? i'll waste his ass!!!
.....wait a second... i've seen this technique before... he appears to be booting anyone with stats as good as his... and hes booting people for getting more kills!
he really IS my clone!

 

by TheBigJE
9-13-04
id like to apologize for the JvJ series, lets face it, it sucked
i thought it showed some promise when i first got the idea
dont stone me!

 

by TheBigJE
9-13-04
a man known only as "captain olimar" was taken into custody today by police, olimar has allegedly been capturing small creatures called pikmin and using them as slaves
police say olimar has been linked to the crime syndicate most widely known as "nintendo"
i for one hope that sick bastard gets the chair

 

by TheBigJE
9-26-04
we are now entering hour 4 of the "no moving contest"

 

by TheBigJE
9-29-04
so im playing "Fluffy-Tech Warrior Kitty-Cat Zone:The Penultimate Final Apocalypse II" the other day...
i never played it
damn

 

by TheBigJE
10-26-04
hey dude wasANY HOT CHICKS WHO WANNA CYBER PRESS 111sup
what the hell are you talking about dude?
oh jesus tapdancing christ i accidentally pressed ctrl+v

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