All comics by Wiz

 

by Wiz
1-18-08
So, She Talked to you First?
Yep.
Im Back on this White stuff agian, And somthing new called Angel Dust, It's great.
That's Nice Miles.
Hoooolllyyyy sshhhiiit!!!
You Shouldn't Cnsider yourself a pioneer for the kids. Think about the kids Miles! the Kids!

 

by Wiz
1-18-08
Are Son is finally going to see his real parents, He should be happy!
Right He should Lary, right he should.
Inside the Store
So, Your my dad?
I Know it seems wierd but....are you old enough for strip clubs? I Mean cause...well, every college student loves gals! that's where I saw Your Mom.
That's Not my Dad right?
Acording to DNA test from your mom before she died, Yeah it is. Your Fucked, Big time!

 

by Wiz
1-18-08
Where My Dust Pimp-mo-hoes?
Where My dollars Miles?
Hold on my son has the dope, Ben Gimmie the Dope
Your Miles Drug connection!!??
Uhhh...No im his rehab instructor, Bad Miles!
Your not my real Dad! You burned my brother, sent Salivia to Egypt, Paid guys to kill my mom! Hacked my Cousin with a hammer, and told Jasmine I was Gay! You Gone too far man!!!

 

by Wiz
1-18-08
I know you feel some simpathy for your dad Passing away like that, He loved you...even though he lied about you being Gay.
He loved the Money, He did so much to me! Took my mom and brother away, Sent my sister to Egypt, He hacked my cousin with a hammer! That's why he's a phsycopath now!
Well, does Salivia know?
Probally not, She was doing exicutions near the Nile River when I last talked to her.
Call her, it's best she knows. Lauren hill is performing at your parents funeral so, it'll hit you some day. Bye.
Okay Jasmine, I'll call Salivia.

 

by Wiz
1-19-08
Hey Ben, I see your bussy but I have a question, Does Nigh have anything to do with that alien escaping from Area-99?
No, Why would a Dog do that?
Enslavement. Animal Justice. They're starting to get there own rights now man, Why don't you come to school anymore?
Something's are best left unsaid Rhome, in other words it means, Get the hell away from me before I kill you you retarded jeprodising questionare. peace.
That seemed very unpleasent for you Ben shit face! Hah Hah! Called ya shit face!! Hah hah!!!

 

by Wiz
1-19-08
So, Killed anyone lately? Seem's your lifes been going smoother than mine.
Nope, when Uncle elliot died i departed my killing ways and was sent to a machine, where I forgot my memory. they told me you were my closest relative.
I Havent spoken to her in a while, neither have I been at work. Im going back tomorow.
How's Jasmine?
Peace.
I must be on my way then, my wife is waiting for me. See you some other time

 

by Wiz
1-19-08
So, Decided to come back to work eh? Well, im here to let you know that won't happen! Due to several regulational failors in the hiring system. Sorry buddy.
Miles, I have always wanted to tell you someting, I just don't know how to put this.......Your coniving asshole who ruins other peoples lives! Like that time You gave lucky drugs!
Lucky on drugs
Your one of those talking Dickheads are'nt You! You won't get me this time! My ass is off limits!
Wow, Look at him go, Better look out for that- Car.

 

by Wiz
1-22-08
Chris and Xenal get zapped to Egypt.
Where the hell am I? Your nerd ass Idea got us here! My girl is awaiting me!
I'd like to know that too, Could you speak a little nicer to me then I'd be able to get us outta here. I'll Go make some fire.
Don't you Get it Asshole!? We're in the middle of freakin nowhere! How are you gonna make fire!? Bet you don't know that smartass!!!
How in the hell did you do that?
I maybe a nerd, But I got all the things a nerd don't got. And that's cool gadgets.

 

by Wiz
4-24-08
You get laid yet? Me and Jasmine did it.
Your an asswhole miles, and why would you tell me that? Jasmine's not that kinda girl and would she do it with you? Mr. limpdick.
Mr. Limpdick? Hey, I get more ass than you ever got in your life shit head! And just for that, your fired!
Stay off crack then. Dick.
Again with you! leave me alone!

 

by Wiz
4-24-08
I won the lotto! Im the luckiest dog on the planet! I feel so happy! Ben, do you mind taking me to the lottery?
Whatever. You do know you won't get all of that money right? That's how fucked up the government is.
What?
That's right, half of it goes towards taxes, another to the state and the other to whatever, depending on how much you won. you'll get a estimate of $100,000.
I only won $25 bucks.
And you shall get a penny back, that's just how the world is lucky, cruel. still want me to take you to the lottery?

 

by Wiz
11-14-08
Are you gay or something, cause if so im leaving.
Nah, I gotta tell you something that'll blow your mind!
You know what, you got yourself into this shit! Im not gonna help you, your a drug addict and an asswhole! dude, get the hell away from me.
I've gottin' Jasmine pregnant, and I don't know what to do man! Im gonna be a father like any day! The presure man! I need my weed!!
Hell yeah! Party Over here, Paarty over there! Yeah!!!!
You know what? Im gonna kill my self now. you under stand right? Right?

 

by Wiz
11-22-08
Hey what up.
So...Your that kid who can rap right?
Yeah. So.
So your that kid who was biting Tribe beats right?
Uhh, No.
Yeah right! Your rap career isn't goin' any where! your as worthless as Whoodini!

 

by Wiz
11-22-08
Hey what up.
So...Your that kid who can rap right?
Yeah. So.
So your that kid who was biting Tribe beats right?
Uhh, No.
Yeah right! Your rap career isn't goin' any where! your as worthless as Whoodini!

 

by Wiz
11-22-08
He Died yesterday?!
Yeah, they said it was drug overdose, probally depression. I miss him so much now and didn't you speak to him last?
Oh my god, this is funny! Im loving every moment of this.
Ben! He's dead, And he wanted you to have something he thought , you'd want back.
Oh, I don't want my Job back, infact, I have to go to work in like 30 minutes.
Your a jerk you know that!!!

 

by Wiz
11-22-08
What up Lucky?!
Nuthin. im coming from Miles's funeral. Realized you weren't there.
Yeah, Im leaving town.
WHAT!
Lucky, sometimes people leave and your just gonna have to take it. And im not coming back, im moving with my sister who moved from Egypt. Do you see the bus?
Ye-no that's just an Ice cream truck. Wait! It's-No It's the Ice cream truck.

 

by Wiz
12-01-08
It's been a whole year sense I've visited my kingdom in Egypt. I wonder how things are going out there. How about you? ever call anyone back home?
Nah, I decided to leave the drama where it belongs.
jive,why the hell are you in a Airsuit?
Im destroying all the Mushrooms in the house, Now, to the kitchen!
What?
Hey Dude, What's this Talking Mushroom doing Under the Sink? Holy crap, your water pipe's lead to the land of Nintendo, Awsome!

 

by Wiz
1-23-09
Okay, You came home because you felt bad about not talking to people. Don't you think after two years they've probally forgotten who you are?!
Actually, Yes I Do. But I know atleast one person hasn't.
Dude, why would you piss on my shoes? That's gross man!
Fuck Off!
MILES!!!
Yeah, I Knew that'd be your reaction.

 

by Wiz
1-31-09
Hey, Im out to the store. DO NOT go any where. I only remember parts of Ego city.
Don't worry I ain't goin' no where. Sheesh!
Hey what's wrong? You are too beautifull to be upset. You look like the type of girl who enjoy's a laugh, I remember the last date I had, shit, Almost got a restraining order on her. bitch was crazy!
Your lying right?!
Nope. I got scars.

 

by Wiz
1-31-09
Okayyy. Im hungry, we've met about 3 of your old friends already, now were on a boat.
Stop complaining, just enjoy the ride.
............
..............
Haha, That's whatchya get asswhole! That shows that surfers can't breakdance! Tell the dude swimming with a cone on his head, Screw you!!!
Uh, I hope you know that's not a guy with a cone on his head.

 

by Wiz
5-02-09
So what do you think I should do? I come back home and it's like, they forgot about me.
Shit, I don't know, It's been about 2 years since you seen 'em. people always be forgotten and stuff. you just gotta move on yo.
That's hard to do, Maybe I should leave and just go back.
Best thing to do yo, can't always make assumptions if ya peeps miss you. anyway, i got's to be out.
Yo, You alright? looks like you was in deep thought. that ain't good dude.
I was. I know what to do now.

 

by Wiz
5-06-09
Are You "Common"? The rap star Common?
Yeah, I get thay alot from fans, im hiding from the pap though so could you not say anything.
Sure. Could I ask a question, Could give me some advice on life? Im visiting home, I haven't been here in 2 years and everyone's forgotten about me, I've been feeling depressed this whole trip.
Well, you can't always expect people to acknoweledge you, nor remember certain things about you. That all fades away, especially when your famous.
My conscience said the same thing, but what's your pionts.
I can't tell you how to live your life, you've got to see the light........Or pack up and leave to be on the real side.

 

by Wiz
5-24-09
So you met common? That's crazy, dude if I was real I'd cheer with you.
He said I've got live my life out..or pack up and leave, which is what im mostly hearing.
Well I can say, that sounds like com, but the dudes right you gitta live it out, and I don't see that happenin' yet. man im hungry.
Let me ask you a question? Where do you go after you finish talking to me.
To the bathroom, but im bout to skip that and dip for the buffet.

 

by Wiz
5-24-09
So your waiting for the Amtrak? I was wondering when you'd realize.
I've had encounters with people I knew, people I though who were dead, and even famous people, im tied for right now.
Your a sap like you were when we dated, still you manage. I admire you.
I don't see how but- wait, Where the heck is Jive?!
At the hospital
Nice to meet you Mr. Jive it's a girl.
that's even worser than jasmine having my kid. OMG!!!!!

 

by Wiz
5-24-09
YOU WHAT!!!!????!!!!
Im seriously sorry I didn't know that was going to happen, Im a man I've got to be pleasured.
So that's his friends, family, homies, dunnies, comrads, girlfriends and you,Oh were gonna need someone to perform cause that's what he put in his will.
I still can't beleive he died.

 

by Wiz
5-27-09
Tonight was a nice night, now what did you have to tell me?!
Um.....Let's start out with that I got this girl pregnant 5 years ago, and I've been going to see them in secrecy. Are you mad now?
YOU WHAT!!!!!!!!!
Look it was 5 years ago and besides, im a man i diserve to be pleasured, you weren't doing any thing.
Get the F**K OUT!!!!! AND DONT COME BACK!!!!!
And I won't, Cause I don't need you!!!!

 

by Wiz
5-27-09
Well that was sorta your fault, and where are you your pants?
We got a little-hey your phone's ringing.
Hello? who's speaking?
It's Umeryka, Ben you've got to come home, Lucky is Dead!
WHAT!!!!
Dude she said Lucky is dead what's not clear in that sentence?! Let's go!!

 

by Wiz
5-27-09
In Ego City
So what's all of this for?
For her cloths, something you' probally never do with her.
What the hells that supposed to mean?!
It means your incapable of doing so, because you are not the most caring person.
I care about Jasai as much as you do, your just a chump.
So is your game and your D**K.

 

by Wiz
6-10-09
Your here, finally.
Yeah, lucky branded us in charge of the will, im Kaddar, you must be Ben correct? anyway we've got alot to do according to what he wants.
I can't believe he just died like that. I wish I knew the driver so I could kick his ass.
that set's room for friends, family, homies, dunnie's, girlfriends, comrads, famous people and you. It says here he wants Jeri'Mya to sing, whoever that is.
What the hell are you talking about?!
If you were paying any damn attention, that's what he wants in his funeral idiot.

 

by Wiz
6-10-09
Jasai, see me and your mom are running through bad times and EVENTUALLY we'll stop fighting.
you said that the last time.
Your not makin' this any easier.
Who said it would be easy? all im saing is that you need to stop making promises you cant keep. That can down a child for the rest of their life, think about the children for god's sake!
Your a little too young to know anything you just said.
So I've been told, im just saying statistics dont lie, neither should 28 year old man to his daughter.

 

by Wiz
6-10-09
That had to be the most boring thing to day.
I feel you, and that guy Kaddar is annoying, he just keeps planning and planning.
great.
Why can't you get a date?!
Shut UP!
Oh you dont have to walk away..im here for you sweetheart!

 

by Wiz
6-10-09
Flashback, 6/10/2003
Hey Seg, I wanna ask you a question, Is it normal for a dog to pee blood?
What the hell? No
Oh.....
Yeah. were gona have to do somethin' about that.

 

by Wiz
6-15-09
Attention evryone, we have someone new who knows Lucky, she is willing to help with his funeral!
Hi, my name is jessa, I guess.
Wow she's beautifull.
Do you like fall for every hot chick you see? I swear you are so stuck up man! Like, i've never seen a guy fall in love so many times-Umeryka, The art teacher, Jasmine, etc...what's next? surprise me!
........I.. wanna go out with her?
Already and you dont even know her?! ya know what im done, fuck you man im done, im playin' Halo 4

 

by Wiz
6-15-09
well today's her first day right, I bet she doesn't wanna go to school.
you tryin' to say she's not smart?!
what's your name?
Jake. there are some things you dont wanna know about me.
Oh great, she's fighting the teacher.
way to go, your mom is rockin' that bitch to sleep.

 

by Wiz
6-15-09
well today's her first day right, I bet she doesn't wanna go to school.
you tryin' to say she's not smart?!
what's your name?
Jake. there are some things you dont wanna know about me.
Oh great, she's fighting the teacher.
way to go, your mom is rockin' that bitch to sleep.

 

by Wiz
6-24-09
What the hell are you doing? Your supposed to be doing my job.
Yeah I forgot the part where I dont give a shit.
Hey uh, how's it with you and Erika over there huh? makin' any moves on her.
Ah, Here it comes.
Here'd you and her went to make-out valley huh, heard you-
Your an ass.

 

by Wiz
6-24-09
Nigh man, what's goin' on? sufuring from revolutionary dispear?
No im just watching over myself since I was thrown back in time!
Wow man, you've made yourself have a lonely life, now that you mention it, that's kinda strange.
Why arent you partying dude, look Ben's not goin' to do anything-Wait so that's how you lost your first girl? Heh, staring just made it worst.
Screw you.

 

by Wiz
6-26-09
Death? what are you doing here? It
Im hear to spaer a soul, What the hell do you think im here for?
Who's dying?
The guy in the yellow shirt over there.
Holy crap that's Ben! His near death experience! without it, what would've happened? Holy crap im screwed.
Yeah, I've got a guy to take back so....im gonna go.

 

by Wiz
6-26-09
Hey Ben, know how you always wondered what would happen if you didn't do something you were supposed to do but didn't but didn't know the consequences?
*sigh* yeah.
Well, you remember your near death experience right? I was the one who-
-caused a near death experience but didn't so now the past me is in some deep shit, but death will be mistaken and take Jian instead, so no near death experience, it's fine idiot.
w-ww-Wait, how the hell'd you know that?
I sold my sold myself a jersey and and red hat now he's wearing it, told 'em if he kept it on all day I'd give 'em 100 bucks.

 

by Wiz
6-28-09
Lucky, I cant watch man, it's too painful!
What's painful? The part where you pushed the man off the boat or the part when the shark came up up and ate 'em? I think number 2.
Wait so, people aren't oohing and ahhing?
nope, they're planning ways to kill you because not only did you kill a person, you killed a life guard..the only one on the beach too.
Oh.
Im gonna leave before they start charging at you with pitch forks....might wanna start runnin' now.

 

by Wiz
6-30-09
Im tellin' ya, women are crazy, but we need 'em so I think withstand 9 months of bitching.
I can't, I wanted to get out of there so bad I had thoughts of becoming a premie....that's not a good look yo.
Hey you shouldn't even be worrying your a dog, dog years fly pass quick! I'd rather be you instead of wait.
So you'd rather wait 18 months than 9 months?
Oh, forgot it's human years x's 2. so we have it easy, thats hard to believe.
Yep, A year and a half dont do good kid, I'd kill myself after 10 months.

 

by Wiz
7-01-09
Im going to kill myself...you undrstand dont you?!
Is that a huge cigerette talking to us? dud we are so blazed it's not even funnny...wait a minute it is funny!
What's his problem?
I don't know but this all seems familiar......
Really?
Nope. just meetin' my natural high.

 

by Wiz
7-01-09
You waitin' for the bus too? Gosh i've been waiting here for like hours and it hasn't come yet.
Nah, waitin' for somebody.
Yeah, im leaving town because it's too much drama going on, but my life's been messed up so far.
Yeah? My life was bad too, so I left Ego a couple of years ago, worse move I ever made. but im sure you have your reasons.
Yeah I guess so. God when's this bus coming?
Kid, trust me, you'll be waiting a long time before that bus shows.

 

by Wiz
7-02-09
Look I know this is stupid but...did you know I could fly?
Jive what the hell are you talking about?
I Found this space suit and im totally gonna where with my bong man! Im helping the tree's man!
Oh my god your high! Who gave these "trees" to you?!
I dont know man, but if this is what I should do to save the trees, then im on it!
Word..........

 

by Wiz
7-02-09
In The Future.....
Your not getting away from us!!
Damn staight nigga! Im a rip ya balls off and hand it to you and make you eat that shit!
Seriously?! You had to go that far?!
Yeah, that nigga pissin' me off by standin' there!
Know what the funny thing is? He's gone idiot!!!!
Dat ain't aint my problem!

 

by Wiz
7-04-09

 

by Wiz
7-04-09
2:00 a.m. at the bar
Hello my fellow tree savers! Let's save the trees man! In honor of our great doing, We shall sing Fez's I Ran!
This ones for the trees man! here we go!
"And I ran! I ran so far away, I just ran, I ran all night and day! I ran, I ran and din't look away, I ran, the streets all night and day!"
We are so totally wasted man! Let's go save a tree man!!!

 

by Wiz
7-04-09
12:00 afternoon
Holy crap what the hell did we do last night!?
I dont know, but certain parts on my body hurt, not my arms or legs either.
Okay let's backtrack...holy crap you have a tatoo!
Whoa!Your tooth is missing! and your married! that's wicked!
Um....why do you have a ring on your finger?
Holy crap we got married.

 

by Wiz
7-04-09
What were we doing here last night?!
I hate you. Both of you.
What were we doing in jail?
We were savin' the trees man! and your blue friend over there tempted us to steal a live dolphin!
What were we doing here last night?
I outta chop your small testicles off and hand 'em to you! you are an Idiot! you tried to feed me a live dolphin stripped naked!

 

by Wiz
7-04-09
8:00 a.m. this morning
I always wanted to tell you that....you have a nice rack man! look at these trees man!
Hey you know what we could do? It!
Even better! we can get married!
that would be so awsome! we could fool some many people with that man!
Im srious! Umeryka Jones, will you marry me!
LET'S DO IT!!!

 

by Wiz
7-06-09
Yeah im married. It's strange why I haven't divorced her yet. Holy crap im falling in love! that's not good! im no one woman man! I can't take one! I need two and more!
Well I can't help you with that! so you had a hangover and things got crazy but im sure she wants to get the hell away from you....I know I do.
Why are you in your? anyway I was thinking about the divorce, maybe it'd be cool to be married for alittle bit? you think?
Wait! why's he running?
Oh, you missed the part where he had a "im not one woman man" freakout.

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