All comics by james

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by james
2-24-01
I sit around letting my life go to waste every second of every day. When am I going to go out and make something of myself?!?
All right- naked ladies!

 

by james
2-24-01
Look Mr Robot... a letter for you.
Hot crackers!
It says...
Yeah? Yeah? What's it say?!?
Let me finish, bitch.
I will kill you.

 

by james
2-24-01
Gosh, Britany Spears, I didn't think it was possible...
That someone could dance as well as I can?
bring it on squid-head
...that there was anything more hidious and evil than me!

 

by james
2-26-01
Hey Mr Death, now that I've sold my soul to destoy the world, at least show me what you look like.
Agreed.
Your turn human.
You're a handsome devil.

 

by james
2-26-01
That's pretty cool Jesus! But Check this out!
Nail goes in forhead....
Look! I'm a martyr just like you!
fucking idiot...

 

by james
2-26-01
Is your mission complete?
Yes lord, the Earthlings follow me as sheep.
What are we going to do with a planet of sheep?
Make me some pants, bitch!

 

by james
2-26-01
So the Earthlings are under our control.
Yes lord.
They swallowed it like a suckling pig.
I bet that turned you on.
Hey- just because I sleep with men...

 

by james
2-26-01
I pooped my pants.
So did I.

 

by james
2-26-01
How Jesus eats a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup
I can't. My hands are nailed down.

 

by james
2-26-01
this isn't funny.
you're a monkey butt!
you're a squid head
you're a nouget for brains!
You're a camphor breath!
you like to eat maggots!
well you like to eat... maggots!

 

by james
2-26-01
-sniff-
Why are you crying?
-sniff- -sniff-
You never let me destroy anything anymore.

 

by james
2-26-01
Ha Ha! I am the pinnacle of all human technology! I can adapt to any situation and learn from it! I must call my creator and thank him!
Damn. It's rotary.

 

by james
2-26-01
I wish this thing had buttons.
Who's more advanced now, bitch.

 

by james
2-26-01
I'll give you a cookie if you dial for me.
What am I going to do with a cookie?
Ok, how about a blow job?

 

by james
2-26-01
I must figure out a way to use this phone...
Hey- I bet you can't dial ###-####!
Man, I almost fell for that.

 

by james
2-26-01
maybe if I can use my telekenetic powers...
that tickles.

 

by james
2-26-01
I'll sneak up on it this time...
La de da... I'm just standing here minding my own business. I wouldn't dare go near that old phone over there.
don't stare at his handycap... don't stare...
GOTCHA!
AAAHHH!

 

by james
2-26-01
Hey Mr. Robot, open up, I want to see what makes you tick.
You have a creamy center.

 

by james
2-26-01
This is getting boring. I'm leaving.
I'll write.

 

by james
2-27-01
Hi Allen
Hi James
Man. You look dumb.
Yup.

 

by james
2-27-01
Hey Allen, do your impression of me!
OK
Hey everybody... I'm James!
Man, I love that.

 

by james
2-27-01
Hey Allen. What'cha thinking about?
Killing people... monkies... killing people... you know, the usual.
wanna go get some iceream?
if he looked any more like a hippy, I'd kill him now.

 

by james
2-27-01
Allen, you're much better looking in person than in this comic.
I guess I'll let him live.

 

by james
2-27-01
Bye Allen, I'm going to go hang out with Rick.
Who was that?

 

by james
2-27-01
You know this is all your fault.
The guilt is all yours.

 

by james
2-27-01
You caused the apocalypse.
You and your stupid bag of magic beans.
Shut up.

 

by james
2-27-01
God damn you, your stupid magic beans, and your stupid Nike endorsment.
This is your fault.
OK, Magic Beans... KILL!

 

by james
2-27-01
kill him magic beans...
Did I mention this is your fault?
kil him...
Zayphon-5, it's all your fault the earth is destroyed!
kill him magic beans...

 

by james
2-27-01
Kill him magic beans...
ugh! I am slain!
kill..
Grow my hair back magic beans...

 

by james
2-27-01
cool man.
cool
yeah. cool man.
cool.

 

by james
2-27-01
chillin'
yeah man, we're cool.

 

by james
2-27-01
So daddy-o, what's the haps?
Just chillin'
cool, man cool.

 

by james
2-27-01
cool daddy-o, cool
yeah. cool man.
this guy is a dork.

 

by james
2-27-01
cool man, cool.
cool man, cool.
cool man, cool.
dude, I think you're stuck.

 

by james
2-27-01
cool man, cool.
SHUT THE GOD DAMN HELL UP YOU NON-STOP COOL SAYING BASTARD GODFUCKER!!!
cool man, cool.
I am a donkey.

 

by james
2-27-01
cool man, cool
hey Mr. Cool- why do you always wear black?
I wear black on the outside, because I feel black on the inside.
yeah, I'm cool
funny, that's why I wear pink.

 

by james
2-27-01
DUDE!
WHAT?
I'm talking to a donkey!
cool man, cool

 

by james
2-27-01
Do you wear those glasses becaues you are blind?
Who said that?

 

by james
2-27-01
cool
so hungry...
happenen'
must eat something...
cool
maybe I'll go get a gyro

 

by james
2-27-01
Hey man, got anything to eat?
I've got some biscotti.
damn beatnick.

 

by james
2-27-01
Hey, is that a choclate covered cherry on your head?
No! No don't eat me!
aarrgghhh!
well, it wasn't a cherry, but it was nice and jucy.

 

by james
2-27-01
Uh, Larimore, I think we're lost.
No way, Jethro, we're right here.
uh..
how can we be lost if we're right here?
You're dumb.
Now we're here.

 

by james
2-27-01
We are definately lost, Larimore.
Gosh, where could we be?
Hey! I found us!

 

by james
2-27-01
Gosh Larimore, we're lost, what are we going to do?
Hey look, it's a cute little bunny rabbit.
Maybe it wasn't such good idea to go snipe hunting today afterall.
Hey Mr Bunny, I'm going to call you Josephine.
I've got to get out of here.
Josephine must be the Easter bunny. She's leaving us little chocolate balls.

 

by james
2-27-01
hmm... we're thousands of miles away from civilization...
These chocolates the bunny left us don't taste very good.
...and nobody would be around to dispute my story...
The white chocolate the bird left me is alot better.
...I'll tell everyone I got laid!
Hello Mr Wolf, did you bring me any chocolate?

 

by james
2-27-01
Are we still lost?
Shut up bitch.
I like chocolate.

 

by james
2-27-01
Hey james, this guy favus made a reference to you in his comic.
Neat! Do I know him?
I wonder how stick figures taste...
I'm just surprised he reads your stuff.

 

by james
3-01-01
Hey Matt.
Hi James
You know, in real life, your eyes are even bigger in proportion to your head than they appear in this comic.
Ha ha, that's funny.
bastard.
hippy.

 

by james
3-01-01
Rick!
James!
Rick!
James!
Rick!
my conversations with Shelly are always so much more meaningfull.

 

by james
3-01-01
Gosh Allen, you look different... did you get a hair cut?
I've been working out.
Chicks dig my pecks.

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