All comics by joeshmoe

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by joeshmoe
11-09-02
a normal day with jared and walter
theres one
her? she's not hot at all!
what are you talking about? i'm gonna go talk to her.
whtever
.....i cant even say anything, no, its just too dumb
?
whasup girl? shit, you know what you want.

 

by joeshmoe
11-09-02
joe sits, watching porn, unaware of the fate that is soon to come(no pun intended)
suddenly his evil brother rushes into the room
a-ha! your looking at porn
but joe makes a happy ending
i love being the artist

 

by joeshmoe
11-09-02
what to do, what to do...
hey andrew, i need an idea for a new comic
hmmm, i dunno
i know! i'll kill you!
aaaaaah, my hair is melting!!!

 

by joeshmoe
11-10-02
at starts as a normal day, then jared goes into a store
hurry up jared!
time for a smoke
but then, evil aliens do somthing evil... very evil
that one! get him
yes sire!..... why are we speaking in english?
damn gabe, you shouldent smoke so mutch
?

 

by joeshmoe
11-10-02
a normal cristmas season
be a good boy fo cristmas
why?
so you can get lots of presents
hey, its the truth!
shut up jesus. no one cares
hey! what happend to my birthday?

 

by joeshmoe
11-10-02
remember, light contact, no face shots
going super saiyan!
huh? what the hell?
kamehameha

 

by joeshmoe
11-12-02
some onf you may have noticed that i havent made comics in a while. i want you to all know that soon there will be new comics, and some of them might be funny
hi joe, whats up?
your messing up my speech... SUPER SAIYAN!!!
goodbye for now, my few fans
AAAH... I'LL FACE YOU AGAIN!!
QI BALL!!!

 

by joeshmoe
11-12-02
since i was bored, i am going against everything a said in my last comic.
i lso realised that two days arent enough to count as "a while"
new comics, possibly some tonight!!
......eh, i'm an idiot

 

by joeshmoe
11-13-02
yea
woa joe! you blached your hair!
yea i did...
woa joe, you bleached you hair
this happens evertime i change my hair color...
wow... i didnt notice...
woa joe! you bleached your hair!

 

by joeshmoe
11-15-02
i'm serious joe, i have dbz powers now
i believe you
now you must feel my wrath!
you dont know everything about me either jared! i started creating a spirit bomb an hour ago
never fuck with the true saiyan master
rrrraaaaaahhhhhh

 

by joeshmoe
11-15-02
hi brett
wh@t$ UP J03?
huh?
F34R m3, i N33d c0FF13
this is pretty pointless. i just wanted to do it... its my comic, after all
....cool?
h@h4, 1'm L33t anD J00 No7

 

by joeshmoe
12-04-02
after being beamed on board an alien ship, joe asks some questions
ok, so why was i beames on this ship?
we need to a human at the age you call "teenager"
ok, just no probing, where are your weapon controls? just curious
over there
tell me sire, why would a human need our weapon controls?
.............oh, shit

 

by joeshmoe
12-04-02
after finding the weapon controls, joe turns knobs, and pushes some buttons. and finds some cool shit
woa, brienna and gabbi, smoking... yea anyway, whats this button do?
bye pushing the button, joe changes brienna and gabbi... and they change into.....
......um... just fucked up things. what did you expect? its me your talking about

 

by joeshmoe
12-05-02
as joe looks into the screen thingy, he pushes some buttons, and turns som knobs, and on earth, he can see a kkk rally
what the hell, a kkk rally. i know, i'll push the button
bye pushing the bottons, joe turns all the kkk members into chickens
what the hell?
this goes out to all you racist fucks.
anti racism in action!!!

 

by joeshmoe
12-06-02
stop earth being, we must take you to your living quarters
oh, ok
here we are
yea, ok
and i fuck up again.
...... oh shit, i forgot the funny part, what will i do now?

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
after a while of being on the ship, joe is brought back to earth
goodbye, earth man. sorry, but we really cant handle your kind, if you run into any problems, this watch can be used to contact us
eh, its ok. but i really wanted to check out more alien technology
while walking home, joe run into his brother
hello? aliens, can i ask a favor?
joe where the hell where you? mom and dad are scared, come on man, you better talk to mom and dad
and joe asked the aliens to turn his brother into a chicken!! hope you like your new character andrew.
hahahahahahahahaa

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
taking a walk in to woods, joe see's satan!
oh, my god, its satan!
i'm not satan.
yes you are, admit it!
satan is behind you
hello joe, i am satan
no fucking way....

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
yes joe, i am satan
no your not, come on, satan is scary and has fangs
but joe, you have never seen satan before, you just judging me bye what you have heard from the church, and movies.
well, yea, i guess thats true
so you believe i'm satan now?
nah, my friend jared tried to play a trick like this on me once, lets go mee my friends.

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
hey tim, whats up?
nothing
i brought satan to school
awsome, bring him over
hello ti- aaaaaah its jesus!
no fucking way.....

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
oh jesus, its... well, jesus!
i'm not jesus, and your not satan, so stop
but i am satan
no your not. stp smiling
i'm smiling just to piss you off tim.
ih my god.... it IS satan!!!

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
ok guys, in our new band, we have jared writing, andrew on bass, gabriel on drums, me on guitar, and tim as vocals. lets play, remember, sound like crap
yea. and be offensive, it shouldent be hard with my lyrics, but you still need to try
eat the asshole eat the asshole eat the asshole satans asshole. DEAD BABIES
many may ask the question, why is jared blue? the answer-because i wanted him to be blue, so fock you
your mom ate satans asshole!
beautiful. we can go worldwide!!

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
finally, bleeding urinal get to play at a local bar
this song goes out to sum 41
why am i, still waiting?, to rip off the offspring?
hey, i like sum-41
yea, well you suck

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
now time for local music news
yesterday, at a local bar, the music was great.
thats us!!!!
untill a band named and i quote "bleeding urinal" came on stage, with there hate for pop-punk and the indescribible lyrics, they finished there act with throwing a bucket of pig semen into the crowd

 

by joeshmoe
12-08-02
whats wrong jared?
andrew is having second thought about the band, i'll tell him to talk to you
andrew, if you quit i will call upon the hottest flames of hell
what? hey, dont i get a say in this? and anyway threats wont get-
and andrew chose to stay in the band
i told you so
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

 

by joeshmoe
12-09-02
what are you talking about? your not talking about drugs are you?
no, dad. i'm not
ok, just dont do drugs, there bad. i didnt do drugs, and where am i now? i have a good paying job, and a lovely wife, so dont do drugs
ok, ok. i wont do drugs, just go away
i dont think your getting the message......

 

by joeshmoe
12-10-02
joe takes a field trip to andrews comics
ok everybody!!, its time to got to andrews comics, his name is deathtalon. here we go!!
after arriving, joe finds some wierd suprises
woa, my old look. silly andrew...
dont get cought up in what other people think andrew. you are the artist. fuck everyone else.
hi, i'm andrew from my own comic, i get deppressed from a dumb letter in my e-mail that some asshole sends, thats how mutch i care about what other people think.

 

by joeshmoe
2-22-03
a-hah!, your looking at po- oh, what are you looking at?
verbnow.com, the commercials where confusing me, so i went here to find out what the hell it is, it seems to be a wabsite about getting kids to be more active.
hey, fighting is an activity!
yea, it is. i like this verb stuff
are weapons allowed?

 

by joeshmoe
3-15-03
its a normal day, when the kids in the mears room talk
i agree with brett, villans can chill.
no they cant, there always worried about the superhero catching them.
and them a radioactive zombie bites joe
aaahhhhhh
shut up while i bite you.
lizard in a buisness suit man!!!
i feel power.

 

by joeshmoe
3-15-03
wow, joe. you should totally be a super-hero and fight evil
good idea brett.
first you need a name, lemme think . the red reptile? the amazing lizard man? mr. lizard... of doom?
lizard in a buisness suit man!
um. i dont thi that would work.
lizard in a buisness suit man it is then!

 

by joeshmoe
3-15-03
i, the evil prist, wil corrupt this world bye using the bible to my advantage, and slightly altering the words to make people do what i want. just like other prists, only i'm in a comic.
please dont touch me again.
shut up and come to daddy
please no!
i feel evil....
there, with this mask you can walk around like a normal person.

 

by joeshmoe
3-15-03
hey prist, whats up?
nuthing much, i just fucked i child and now i'm chillin like a villan, wich is cool cus i am the villan.
i didnt know villans could chill.
yea, thats what seperates us from commone criminals
woa. you learn somthing new every day.
yea.... stuped jared

 

by joeshmoe
3-15-03
the preist starts spreading his evil outside the mall
the bible says you cant masturbate, thats what i say, i'm a priest so its true.
stop, evil priest, there is nowhere in the bible that says masturbation is a sin. stop being like other priests and turn from your evil ways
after a long fight...
i'm a prist so i am right!!
oh no, i'll need to use all my pwers on him. this could turn ugly

 

by joeshmoe
3-15-03
what are you doing?
raaaaahhhhh
great attack boy... hold on, boy? come here and suck mu dick bioch
my powers... there....gone... he's still there. one last resort, its not flashy, but it will work
yea... i'm scottish, and i kilt him. heheh. kilt him. get it? GET IT? I KILT HIM!!!!!
aaah, the eraser!!!
hmm. i should have don that in the first place

 

by joeshmoe
3-29-03
ok, so. today, from here on, i will stop trying to be funny, for two reasons.
let us close with andrew blowing up
reason number one:i am running out of funny things to say, thus the "i kilt him" comment in the last comic. reason number two: i'm the only one of my friends who still do the stripcreator.
make a boom or some sound like that in your head

 

by joeshmoe
10-19-03
one night at a resurant
um joe.... whats andrew like?
um.... i think jared describes him best
hey jared, whats andrew like?
um................................
...he's a deuche

 

by joeshmoe
10-19-03
i use to just be a normal kid, but thanks to a storyline noone will ever read ad a catchy name, i have become
captain blacktastic!
gee golly captain blacktastic, can i be like you when i grow up?
get away from me white boy.

 

by joeshmoe
10-19-03
i, wanna rock 'n roll all niiight, and party every day!
i wanna rock n ro-
hey joe!
i've gotta stop daydreaming
what the hell are you doing?

 

by joeshmoe
10-20-03
Hey Andrew, Whats up?
Shitty week, Its only wendsday and my week old shoes are falling apart, my brother is being a major jackass, I hurt my legs doing a kip-up, my arms hurt for some reason, and i caught on fire.
Uhh....Andrew??
yea?
......your such a douche

 

by joeshmoe
10-20-03
Joe, why did you make fun of me in the last comice, i had a horrible week, i got cought on fire for god sake!
DUDE, YOU COUGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE! ITS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT! stop being sutch a douche...
i'm tired of you making fun of me, why do you always have to dothat, blah blah blah bitch bitch moan whien cry, stop calling me a douche, i'm leaving
................what a fucking douche

 

by joeshmoe
10-20-03
deep within the realms of the real world
dude why do you always take what i say and feel and think and put them im your webcomics to make them a joke? its like you dont care about me at all, its fuck up. why do you do that? why?
'cus its funny

 

by joeshmoe
10-26-03
we see our hero once again, in a random city in witch our story takes place
get the hl ay from me dog.
woof...
... but a mutch darker force rests at the white house...
continue on next page...
i, george w. bush need to continue my plan to take over the world
sir, i have a plan...

 

by joeshmoe
10-26-03
mr. president, the american people are losing trust in the government, we have to bring it back the only way we know how...
bomb other countries and steal their oil and tell the country that we did it because they possesed weapons of mass destruction?
no.... that comes after getting the american peoples trust back, first we have to make a new plan to brainwash the people of this country, you see, they are all beginning to think for themselves...
so to stop them from questioning our actions anymore... we need to brain wash them again?... good plan, and i know just how to do it...

 

by joeshmoe
10-26-03
mr. president, may i ask what this great plan is exactly?
just a second
what the...
ta da! the way we will get the american people back on our side is with a new superhero. once they see me save a few lives, they wont be able to resist loving us again.
sir.... i doubt your plan is going to work. the only people who would care about an all american superhero would be republicans.
i dont get it...

 

by joeshmoe
10-26-03
please remove your mask or leave, otherwise i will call the police
silence! i know what your up to, tell me where the weapons of mass destruction are or you will feel the power of america!
sir, i know nothing of the weapons of mass destruction, your comment was racsist and i insist that you leave.
fine, you wont tell me?... the let the power of the red, white, and blue show there vengence
meanwhile
i sense wrong doing... no, just gas... WAIT! it WAS wrong doing!... i must see the thingy that tells me whats going on to know what to do..

 

by joeshmoe
10-26-03
in the secret building of blacktasticness
sir, i felt wrong doing... it may have been gas, but i dont think so...
it indeed was not gas, i too felt it.
so what must i do?
it seems there is a new villan, i know not what his name is, but he seems to think of himself as a ne hero...he is indeed dangerous...
right. CAPTAIN BLACKTASTIC POWERS ACTIVATE!!!
go show that punk what being blacktastic is all about

 

by joeshmoe
10-26-03
will you reveal you secrets to me now?
god dammit! stop torturing me and let me be on my way, i dont know where you could plant weapons of mass destruction. leave me be!
stop right there! your hurting this man has gone on long enough.
you wont stop me, noone can stop me, BOMB THE INTRUDER!
worst way to end a comic ever... but i got tired of the theme.... the end i guess
DAMN, that white boy was crazy... thank goodness my blacktastic-ness can live through an explosion...

 

by joeshmoe
10-28-03
i wanted an education. i wanted to be able to pay for college...
i saw a commercial that said i could do that by joining the army... but now... i just... i just...
...i wanna go home

 

by joeshmoe
9-06-04
look at me, i'm i microphone
its ok for me to say i love yooo! and its ok for you to cry!!!!
the sorrow that you are feeling, you should not deny, so why is it so trying to express the way i-
joe?
feel?
dude... this is just sad.

 

by joeshmoe
9-06-04
look at me i'm jared
i'm fucking tired of going to these hardcore shows where these assholes just spinkick and pick up change. its not fun for me, and they just look like asshats.
hey what the fuck man? you cant come to a hardcore show and do that punk moshing, you have to do hardcore dances at a hardcore show! your supposed to be a clone like everyone else in this building!
dude, the singer asked for a circle pit? whats your fucking problem?
I WANT TO BE A NINJA! AND THATS WHAT HARDCORE IS ALL ABOUT!

 

by joeshmoe
9-13-04
the mars volta...
yea... i mean... the mars volta dude.
joe... the mars volta... duuude... the mars volta...
yea man... the mars volta...
...
dude, he just doesent get it.

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