All comics by marf

Profile

 

by marf
7-12-05
what are you doing?
i'm looking over there?
why? it's so high and scary!
because of the view
is it nice?
its like heaven but with house fires and some og

 

by marf
7-12-05
what happened to you jesus you were so a nice boy growing up
drastic times drastic measures. so you going to pay up or do i have to take away my protection
no i'll pay buyt i'll pay with lashes! lash lash
ow ow
lash lash
ow ow

 

by marf
7-12-05
dam this sucks
i was going to blow up this plane with a bomb
i hate lightning

 

by marf
7-12-05
so what should we do now
what the hell are you?
i'm a puppet.
with connected tumores? i dont get it

 

by marf
7-12-05
i feel blue
because you're a red robot in a sea of red?
no because i ate too much
because you're processor is about to go out?
no because i ATE too much
because you have no soul so are going to fade off into nothing just like my pencil sharpener?

 

by marf
7-12-05
whats it say?
Dear Sir,
and?
thats it. then its just a bunch of drawings of me getting a broom shoved up my wiry innocent little ass.
oh that was me. that was just a PMS letter. i pick someone randomly each month and your number came up. you can throw that away.
i think i should keep it for evidence

 

by marf
7-12-05
what are you doijng?
i'm sitting outside on the porch enjoying the night air.
what about me? i'm in there all alone and you left cops on me. that show is scary. everyones face is all blury like jacobs ladder
well you can sit out here too
during an electrical storm? don't you like me?

 

by marf
7-12-05
the washington memorial was nice. the lincon memorial was great. but this is the highlight of my trip. this is the bench clinton fucked heather locklear on
heather grahm
what?
i'm the bench he fucked heather graham on.
oh well shit. where's the bench he fucked locklear on? i could have stayed home and seen a graham fucked bench
its over there by the streisand paper bag and mussle

 

by marf
7-12-05
would you like to buy tv guide?
i'm blind, what would i need with a tv guide?
you could swat your seeing eye dog on the ass when he sticks his nose in your privates
benji doesnt do that
how would you know. your blind
if he did that automaticlly i wouldnt have had to train him with ground beef

 

by marf
7-12-05
hello
i surrender!
i'm not invading, i'm just hmmmm
NACHOS TINY METAL THING OR I WILL ZAP YOU WITH MY HAVE YOU FOUND SEJUS PAMPHLETS!
yes my overlord!

 

by marf
7-12-05
alls clear over here
all clear over here
alls clear over here
alls clear over here
alls clear over hey! what happened to your arm?
dammit! that was on your side!

 

by marf
7-12-05
do you see him?
no but he should be coming
whats his name again?
the great pumpkin
whats he do?
he restores our faith, Gene. restores our faith

 

by marf
7-12-05
this random layout sucks
fuck off
i refuse to work under these conditions

 

by marf
7-12-05
you are an elite killing machine
you feel no mercy. you know no surrender
my wee wee hurts
thats cause you drank too much pal

 

by marf
7-12-05
any rabbit females out there? i'm available!
why arent there any single robots out tonight? i love single robots. i fuck them out of kilter then i fuck them counterclockwise to restore them
helloooooooo i'm available! any randy rabbits?
their bodies recover fully and the memory of that night will bring them a satisfaction that other women will pick up on and be attracted to
man it seems like i'm always looking for love in all the wrong places. maybe i should just go home and forget about my political ambitions and kill myself
i'm especially horny tonight. this one might become robot president

 

by marf
7-12-05
thats one faggy mohawk you got there
think?
where'd you get it?
they gave it to me when i got to heaven.
well i'm glad i didn't get one. i'd have to kill myself
well the nice thing about heaven is you always get what you want instantly. so here, take a look in this mirror

 

by marf
7-12-05
what are you looking at?
that bird. its huge. and i swear its been circling me.
better be. i spent six months training him.
so hows the secretary?

 

by marf
7-14-05
you kids get your asses out here right now or i swear i'm going to punch you godam in the pelvis. you kids ever been punched in the pelvis? isn't a pleasant thing, being punched in the pelvis.
my buddy steve got punched in the pelvis in the gulf war. then just 10 years later he was hit by a car.
thats the kind of shit that goes down when your living on the pelvis side of life

 

by marf
7-14-05
oh my god my vagina is drooping to the ground
i told you that yesterday and you punched me in the pelvis
i wasnt ready to hear it then. now i think i've matured
good cause your ass is trailing right behind it. when you walk on the beach your trail looks like sand art
ow you punched me in my other pelvis!

 

by marf
7-14-05
i hate chess. its kings and queens and knights and bishops. its undermines the american way of government
neilson ratings

 

by marf
7-14-05
OHHHHHH!!!! DIRECT HIT TO THE BACK OF HER HEAD!!!!!!
OHHHH!!!!! AGAIN!!!
OHHHH!!!! I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

 

by marf
7-14-05
hello what can i do for you?
i was wondering if i could sleep in here tonight. its really cold in the barn
if i let you sleep in here i'll have to let all the other kids sleep in here
there are no other kids
dont be so sure. a wild pack of kids was spotted around the lake just yesterday. chances are they're just waiting for you to go to sleep to punch you in the pelvis
i was wondering if i could sleep in here tonight. its really cold in the barn

 

by marf
7-14-05
hi YA!
what are you doing to the goat?
i'm kicking him in the face for making us sleep in the barn last night
but wait wasnt i the only kid last night? where did you come from
i came from the cloroform the wild pack of kids gave you so they could spend 5 or 6 hours punching you in the pelvis
a HA!

 

by marf
7-14-05
greetings earthlings. I am a Martian. I have taken this human form to comfort you, and these clothes because just now your "K-Mart" donated 1 billion dollars toward Martian aid.
and this aid couldn't come at a better time for we Martians bring you stunning news. News that will change the way you see the universe and your world's place in it.
men's khaki's are now 40% off

 

by marf
7-14-05
so what are we doing out here?
shut up. didn't i say shut up?
i want to see my mommy
SHUT UP I SAID SHUT UP
pick up the shovel and start digging

 

by marf
7-14-05
HELP! I'm having a heart attack!
i would but i'm REALLY late for this thing
what thing is more important than saving a human life!
wheel of fortune's in town
HOW'D YOU GET TICKETS?

 

by marf
7-14-05
i NEVER should have watched jaws before coming here
come on man you can do it
just throw the penny and walk away

 

by marf
7-14-05
HELP! i'm having a heart attack
i would but i have this important THING i'm going to do
the wheel?
the wheel?
of fortune?
oh not the wheel. the rack. but you'll see

 

by marf
7-14-05
okay stop.
now what?
now we wait. and pray.

 

by marf
7-14-05
life's groovy. don't you think life's groovy?
my wife just left me for a back massager
back massagers are groovy. don't you think back massagers are groovy?
you can't even plug it in. you have to buy D batteries
D batteries are groovy. don't you think D batteries are groovy?
D batteries are pretty groovy actually

 

by marf
7-16-05
so we meet again
yes
who are you again?
satan
have we ever met?
actually no

 

by marf
7-16-05
follow me Buzz Lifesaver, we're almost to level 13
we better be i still have to steal the golden pearl so i can save our good queen buzzbee from evil king hornet
oh shit i died
oh shit i died again
YOUR KILLING HER

 

by marf
7-16-05
avast matey. welcome to my humble abode
avast yourself sailor. would you like to buy one of my silver fillings
it be real silver or fools silver?
fools silver
i'll take it
this stuff is well named

 

by marf
7-16-05
I'M GONNA STAB YOU IN THE HEAD BITCH!
YOU HEAR ME BITCH I'M GOING TO STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING HEAD
excuse me miss? your ruining this entire experience for me
i'm deaf. what am i gonna do with a tv guide?

 

by marf
7-16-05
are you my lawyer?
look at that ass!
yes yes its nice. are you my court appointed lawyer?
nice? that ass is better than nice. that ass would start a war in latin america!
look, are you my lawyer or not
i'm the judge. and i declare her ass NOT GUILTY!

 

by marf
7-16-05
i surrender!
i'm not here to conquer you i'm hmmmm
BRING ME BON BONS LEGLESS METAL THING OR I WILL VANQUISH YOU!
yes my overlady!
do you have a vibrate mode?

 

by marf
7-16-05
just get in the bag
i don't wunna
get in the bag now
you can't make me
if you get in it you'll see that you like it
thats what you said about the loungerie

 

by marf
7-16-05
how can i help you?
have you found chair?
look i'm not really interested in any sermons on the front lawn, okay
chair will save you. chair will restore you. chair will answer the question you've been asking yourself your whole life
that would be 'why do chairs keep showing up at my front door preaching chair?'
chair can answer that

 

by marf
7-16-05
have you found cowboy? cowboy is the way
honey come get me, my wheelchairs locked up
COWBOY IS THE WAY COWBOY IS THE WAY COWBOY IS THE WAY COWBOY IS THE WAY COWBOY IS THE WAY COWBOY IS THE WAY COWBOY IS THE WAY
HONEY!!!
you are ready
Honey, have you found cowboy?

 

by marf
7-16-05
what is this?
i love you
it would never work. i'm british and your a member of the IRA
i know but that doesnt matter
you just blew up my house and killed my entire family
only because they were british

 

by marf
7-16-05
werent we just on an airplane?
i believe we were yes
something must have gone wrong in cargo bay 6
certainly seems that way. nothing to worry about though
because your a superhero?
because we'll be dead soon

 

by marf
7-16-05
this ones a big one
yup
i'm holding up mine
me too
what would building designers do without us giants
we'll never know

 

by marf
7-16-05
hold your eyelids open!
i am
HOLD THOSE FUCKING EYELIDS OPEN!
i am i am!
okay now watch this next comic

 

by marf
7-16-05
oh my god they got me!
it'll be okay!
who are you kidding i'm a goner!
no no don't say that
good bye my love
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

by marf
7-16-05
i didn't do it
i'm pretty sure you did
he just looked like me
i'm pretty sure it was you
why?
because your still doing it and with my own night stick

 

by marf
7-17-05
thats a lot of blood on that wall
yup
what happened here
this on or off the record?
on
she slipped

 

by marf
7-17-05
i've got mail!
you've got mail!
i know i just said that
you've got mail!
i just fucking said that
no need to get snippy

 

by marf
7-17-05
hi you new here? i'd be happy to show you the town. i mean 'around'
you work out right? i can tell
so whats your name or should i just call you stud?

 

by marf
7-17-05
so this is ancient greece. my time machine must have worked
i sold every thing i own to achieve this moment. my wife is leaving me. my children hate me. but its worth it now
ancient greece
bob your 20. your not married. you don't have kids. your at a toga party. you drank everclear

 

by marf
7-17-05
wow the future. my time machine must have worked
i sold everything i owned for this moment. my wife's leaving me. my kids hate me. but its all worth it now
bob your 38. you never married. you don't have kids. you were at a toga party 18 years ago. you drank everclear
the future

Showing page 1.

Next »