All comics by not_Scyess

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by not_Scyess
9-24-02
Oh du Ukko högste skaparn / äldsteman bland alla kloka / Spänn nu för din bäste fåle / kör med bästa bruna hingsten
genom märgen genom lemmen / rakt igenom fasta köttet / bringa kämpen till att lusta / tänd en eld av älskogslågan
You don't actually expect to win this contest by singing Hedningarna lyrics in Finnish, do you?
Oh, I'm sorry -- I suppose I could do another fucking Billy Joel entry for you. Ass.

 

by not_Scyess
9-24-02
o/~ Physics... nothing more than, Physics... Trying not to forget my... physics...
Physics, for all my life I'll feel it. I wish I've never met you, gravatrons; you'll never come again. o/~
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by not_Scyess
9-25-02
Hm... I wonder if I should kick that old man over there in the nuts for fun...
No! Don't do it! That would be immoral, and you would probably go to jail for assault!
Rebuttal?
o/` Pleased to meet you! Hope you guess my name! Woo! Woo! o/`
Can't argue with that. Time to stomp some withered gonads.
Curse you! Curse you, rock and roll music!

 

by not_Scyess
9-28-02
Bored watching us stare at you silently for three panels?
How do you think we feel everytime some asshole decides to make a "default settings" comic?

 

by not_Scyess
9-28-02
Hm... I want to sign up for this web site, but "SexEGuy" is already taken.
*That name is taken; please choose another.*
I know! I'll put use "SexEGuy" and just put 666 after it! Then it will be clever AND original!
*That name is taken; please choose another.*
Wow... what are the chances of that. Maybe I'll try a "69" instead.
Someday I'll log on and order myself a monitor that can fire lasers through his skull.

 

by not_Scyess
9-28-02
One day at the lab...
So I said, "Them Brahma calves ain't gonna rope and tie themselves!
Haha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by not_Scyess
10-01-02
TOBOR TIRED OF CORNHOLING. NEED VACATION.
How about my ass?
...I swear, I was just innocently changing the subject and I got a very rude definition of the verb "to cornhole."
...and I suppose it was just a coincidence that you happened to be wearing pants that tear easily in the rear?

 

by not_Scyess
10-03-02
Well, I'm sure you're intentions are noble, Michael, but you really have to be Catholic to become a priest.
But I meet all the other qualifications! You know what I mean.
Sorry, I don't...
You KNOW! I just love kids... I know you guys also LOVE kids, and have a whole church network dedicated to it.
*sigh* Goodbye, Mr. Jackson.
I'm... I'm... suing for religious discrimination!

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02
Ce n'est pas une image d'un téléphone.
Oui, mais est-ce art?
Pourquoi cette table de squre n'a-t-elle pas une quatrième jambe?

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02
Blue, blue arose, arose and fell. Sharpness, narrowness, hisses and moves in, but doesn't penetrate. On all corners it resounded.
Thick brownness was left hanging apparently for all eternity. Apparently. Apparently.
Wider you should stretch your arms. Wider. Wider. And your face you should cover with red cloth. And perhaps it is not at all out of place; merely you got out of place.
White crack after white crack. And after this white crack again a white crack. And within this white crack a white crack. In every white crack a white crack.
But it's just not good that you don't see the opaque: in the opaque is where it is.
That's where it all begins---- ----it has cracked apart.

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02
screeee....
...eeeEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
SCREEEEEEEEE!!!!
Dammit, he said the brakes would work on the sidewalk just as well as the street.
*gurlge*

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02
Oh my God! What happened?! Did someone run over my daughter?
Yeah, that was probably me. Sorry.
Pig! Don't just stand there, go get some help!
Sure, I'll just jump in the ol' car and go get some assistence.
SCREEEEE!!!

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02
Oh no! My son!
I guess I can kiss my low insurance rates goodbye. Don't worry, lady, I'll go for some help.
I'm glad I went ahead and got that Volvo.
Argh! You flattened Ed!

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02
SCREEEEEEEEE!!!!
Sorry!
Oh, no!
SCREEEEEEEEE!!!!
My fault!
Eeek! Christine!
SCREEEEEEEEE!!!!
Oops! My bad.
My only daughter! Noo!!

 

by not_Scyess
10-08-02
SCREEEEE!!!!
Son, what the HELL do you think you're doing?
Officier, officer, help! There are a bunch of little kids behind me who've been run over! Call for help!
Hm. These little kids wouldn't happen to have been run over by YOU, would they?
No. Maybe.

 

by not_Scyess
10-09-02
Okay, most of the kids hit by a car will survive.
That's great! Thanks to my rushing to get here! I'm a hero.
Of course, if you hadn't rushed, you wouldn't've run over them in the first place.
Some gratitude! You think I should've just left them to die instead of going for help?
Well, you could've called on your cell phone.
Oh. Well, there's that...

 

by not_Scyess
10-11-02
Mr. Hossenfeffer, how does your client plead to the 23 counts of vehicular assault?
Your honor, he seems to be running a little late, I move for a continuance pending...
Sorry I'm late your honor; I couldn't find a parking spot until I noticed the stairs of this building aren't steep and the doors are pretty wide, so...
Is it safe to assume a plea of "guilty," then?

 

by not_Scyess
10-11-02
Whadda ya in for?
They claimed I ran over a bunch of kids.
Bastards. I'm going to kill my lawyer when I get out of here.
Actually, I think my court case was hurt slightly by the fact I ran over mine in court.
Tough guy, huh? Perhaps you'd like to meet my pet knife, Raoul.
You know, I THOUGHT it was wierd they gave this to me when I got in here.

 

by not_Scyess
10-11-02
Aha! I have disarmed you! Prepare to taste steel, fuck-o.
Well, this looks like the end... unless...
Nice move, kid. But where the HELL did you get a '95 Buick in our 9'x6' prison cell?
I don't know. It's kinda my schtick.

 

by not_Scyess
10-11-02
Okay... KILL!!!
RAAARR!!!

 

by not_Scyess
10-11-02
Okay, fine, so it's not a real headline. But it fucking SHOULD be.

 

by not_Scyess
10-12-02
One day at the ranch...
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
SUPER COWBOY PSIONIC COMBUSTION ATTACK!
AAAAAIIYEEEE!!!

 

by not_Scyess
10-15-02
...you and your search engine can kiss my ass.

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