All comics by nsusaint

Profile

 

by nsusaint
1-18-04
Aaron, please tell me that you were kidding about being hired at the Horseshoe!
No, I went down there, filled out and application, and they told me to come back on Monday.
I guess you didn't hear about the Horseshoe getting shut down last night.
That's not funny. Stop fucking with me.
Aaron checks online and discovers the truth
So you just set the record for the fastest ever to be laid off from a job. You better come up with rent money in 2 weeks.
Shit, I guess I will be hitting up the ol' sperm bank this month.

 

by nsusaint
1-19-04
Dude, I went and watched Big Fish today.
How was it?
It was very good.
What was it about?
You should never give any plot away about a movie.
Not to much, just a couple of stories that a guy goes through.
WHAT! Just a couple of stories, how does that make a movie. Atleast make up a story that would make me want to go see it.

 

by nsusaint
1-19-04
New England is going to crush Carolina
New England has won 13 straight games.
New England has one of the best defenses and coach Belichick is great at game planning on defense.
No way, Carolina will keep it close and win in the 4th quarter.
Although the Panthers also have a great defense. Their front four is the best in the nfl.
7.5 points is a lot to give a team with a great defense. I wonder who Eric thinks is going to win.
It's great living in Vegas.
Eric, who are you betting on in the Super Bowl?
There's a Super Bowl, all I know is there is a Lingerie Bowl on Feb. 1st. I want to go to.

 

by nsusaint
1-26-04
I watched High Fidelity Last Night
Dude top 5 bands to listen to if you are depressed.
1. Poison The Well 2. Stabbing Westward 3. Cold 4. A Perfect Circle 5. Chevelle
Dude that's fucked up.
Well women are fucked up.
There's only one cure for depression
So you have your top 5 bands you can listen to, now what?
Top 5 beers to drink while depressed.

 

by nsusaint
1-26-04
haha, I didn't get permission to use this character.
For anybody who will read this comic, you need to check out Mocha_Monk.
Dude thanks for the sweet props.
But it's on Stripcreator so I can use it any time I want.
Well You are the second best comic I have read to Foxtrot.
That Really touches me, I feel like crying.
God I'm such a Fucking Pussy. I'm sure I will apologize for this.
Well we don't spill any emotions on this comic dude.
Yeah ok Mr. I can't let go of the past even though I live 2000 miles away.

 

by nsusaint
1-26-04
I'm alone tonight with nothing but beer.
Life is great!
Is there really anthing else that you need?
I can't think of anything........ wait......damn

 

by nsusaint
1-26-04
BRILLIANT!!!!!
Dude I came up with a great invention, it's a beverage that tastes really good and gets you drunk.
No you didn't.
Drink a few for me in heaven or hell chris.
Yeah, but I have a friend who did, and he gets all the ladies.
No, you don't.
You know what, you suck!!!!
Yeah, but you could imagine how cool it would be.
Yeah, I guess I could.

 

by nsusaint
1-26-04
If you could be a member of one group, what group would you join?
The Nazis fucking ruled!
Yeah ok jew boy, I'm serious.
I don't know, what are you getting to?
But isn't there people dying?
Dude broken lizard, those guys rule
yeah your right, nothing like being on an island with a bunch of hot women.

 

by nsusaint
1-26-04
Dude we are pretty good at making comics.
Yeah as long as we don't have to draw, or outline, sketch nothing. You know what I mean.
Yeah that shit's overrated anyways.
Yeah.

 

by nsusaint
1-28-04
Quoting Movies Rule
I order you back too hell!
What are you talking about?
OVER THE LINE! Mark it foul, or I'll order you back too hell again!
Dude is something wrong, how are you feeling?
GOOD ENOUGH TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER!!!!
You know, I somehow feel that you are perfectly normal.

 

by nsusaint
1-29-04
Blows across top of beer bottle.
nothing like drinking a beer while catching up on the internet.
Hears very low pitch sound coming from bottle in the other room.
I'm almost out of beer.
Subliminal Messages Rule
Hey Aaron, I heard your beer was low, so I got you another one.
Dude, you are the coolest roommate a guy could have!!!

 

by nsusaint
1-30-04
Forgive me father for I have sinned.
How long has it been since your last confession.
Right after the elizabeth taylor episode.
Please list all the things you have done wrong
Well there was the whole lisa marie thing, but lately I have been having my way with young boys.
Shit is that a sin, damn when was the last time I went to confession?

 

by nsusaint
1-31-04
Sir, do you know why I stopped you?
I have about six ideas.
Do you realize that you are drinking a beer while driving?
Yes I do, would you like one?
No and you can add bribery on top of that.
I wasn't bribing you, I just wanted you to share in on the enjoyment.

 

by nsusaint
1-31-04
Sir, I'm going to need you to take a brethalizer test.
Ok, no problem. Let me set down my beer.
Waiting for the results while the bastard cop sits by his car
Man, I'll be over by that tree, I gotta piss.
Sir, you will stay right there until i'm done or I will have to put you in handcuffs and in the back of my car.
Ok, I got your results back and you are not over the legal limit.
So why are you wasting my time? Can I go?

 

by nsusaint
1-31-04
No, you may not go, I still feel the need to give you a ticket for having an open container in your car.
Man come on, i'm almost home.
Tell it to the judge.
Dude, this is fucked up! What do you say you ditch this whole thing and come back to my super bowl party and have some fun.
Whew, close call
Man, since it's super bowl day, I will let you off wtih a warning, but I have to work all day. If I see you out on the street driving again, you will be arrested. Is that understood?
Thank god he didn't search the back of my van and find my buddies with the keg.

 

by nsusaint
2-02-04
Hey man, what did you think of the Super Bowl?
I didn't get to see the whole thing, I fell asleep from staying up all night.
That sucks. During halftime Janet Jackson's tit popped out and there was a streaker.
What about the game, what happened?
Fully man, That was an official fully. Yeah
Why do I get the feeling that you missed the rest of the game because you couldn't stop thinking of Janet's breast.

 

by nsusaint
2-11-04
fucking bitches with their eletronic machines
yeah somebody should steal their walkers and give them all a beating.
It's sad to see that old lady die like that.
Yeah , especially right when they called the last number she needed.
Dude, playing bingo rules, I can't believe I won 1000 bucks
You're fucked up in the head for stealing that dead woman's winning card. Wanna play the next session?

 

by nsusaint
2-11-04
Do you know what makes a good crap's stickman great?
isn't it being able to handle the stick and get the payouts as quickly as possible?
Nope.
What else could be more important then that?
Next time your at a table, watch how he gives the dice out to a pretty girl showing cleavage. If she has to lean over and reach for the dice, then he is a great dealer.
Good point.

 

by nsusaint
2-11-04
Dude that craps table over there is full of hot women playing.
Awsome, lets go play.
YES! dude that girl just got short sticked and I could see the top of the mountains. Kick Ass.
Yeah, but do you know what made it Great?
Yeah, she had big tits!
Nope, the stickman is a stickwoman!

 

by nsusaint
2-24-04
Where have you been all day?
I've been out getting supplies to make my protest signs.
Dude your not religious, why are you going along with all those Passion of the Christ protestors?
I'm not dude, I'm protesting Eurotrip, It was rude to Christianity.
You just want attention.
Please don't hate me because I'm trendy, they're not going to laugh at me again.

 

by nsusaint
2-24-04
If a girl was fucked in the ass by a unicorn would it hurt or would the horn's magic make it feel good?
The Saints are going to win the Super Bowl this year!!!
If you had hot Siamese twins joined at the crotch would you call it a waste?

 

by nsusaint
3-03-04
Dude, what can I do, I leave her a note to tell her I'm going out and she gets mad at me.
Yeah, but why did you apologize because she didn't see it?
What can I do, If I don't do anything she gets mad, If I argue, she would get mad.
Dude, every once in a while, you just got to pop her.
Dude, What the fuck do you know about relationships, you haven't even gotten laid yet.
FUCKER

 

by nsusaint
3-03-04
Now I know why you two get along so well
What are you talking about?
Your a cold hearted bitch for bringing that shit up.
Sorry dude, I just had to say somthing to keep me on her good side when she read these comics.
Well now I know why you don't worry about protection, YOU HAVE NO BALLS!!!!
Yeah, but she's worth not having any balls.

 

by nsusaint
3-03-04
snip snip snip
ok you can give it a rest, it's getting old.
I may not get laid, but atleast I still have my manhood.
Just wait, you will find Mrs. Right and you will be a little pussy just like me.
Yeah you right, It's kinda funny how woman do that to you huh.
it's only 2 to 4 inches in length, but that little space and those pair of twins can fuck up any man's world.

 

by nsusaint
3-03-04
God, what kind of men are we? We went through 3 comics not saying a decent thing about women.
Well we did mention their physical aspects
Yeah, but there is more to women then just that.
Ok dude, time for us to go to the strip club!
No, serious, woman can be beautiful creatures. They are smart, funny, and can smell great.
Yeah, but they can also bitch, whine, and say "I got a headache."

 

by nsusaint
3-05-04
Life is all about setting goals and accomlishing them.
You first have school, then you have to get a job, and finally you have to find a spouse and make a family. Of corse that doesn't have to be in the exact order.
Of course, I have set different goals and you know what, I'm getting tired of waiting for that damn scroll bar to pop up on my comic title list.

 

by nsusaint
3-11-04
How many of you have done this.
Shit, I'm late for work.
Why the hell didn't my alarm go off.
Everything that can go wrong seems to.
Where the hell are my damn keys!!!!
I bet they are in the kitchen from when I brought the groceries in last night.
What a relief, but now how the hell am I going to go back to sleep.
WTF!!! WHY IS IT DARK OUTSIDE, ITS 11:30.
P.M. you dumb ass, you just woke up from your nap.

 

by nsusaint
3-11-04
Damn my ass is going to hurt tomarrow.

 

by nsusaint
3-24-04
Hey, are you doing alright? I haven't heard from you in a while.
Yeah, I'm fine. I was in Phoenix for spring training.
Cool, why haven't you made any new comics lately?
Well, I'll tell you If you don't laugh.
That's cool man, I won't laugh.
I've come across a little writers block.

 

by nsusaint
3-24-04
HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA!!!!!!
Fucker, You said you wouldn't laugh.
Who the fuck gets writer's block in a three part comic?
Well, it happens. You want to get some beer.
Sure, what kind.
Does it matter, I need some kind of inspiration and beer usually is the best kind.

 

by nsusaint
3-25-04
You know, I really do not know if a strip club is better totally nude with no alcohol, or topless with expensive alcohol.
I must apologize, for I haven't washed my clothes in a good 4 months now. But I don't think any of the other characters have either.
Dispite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage.

 

by nsusaint
3-30-04
Typing On Computer
What up pimp!!!
This is Neil
Just chillin, wanting some poon badly right now.
So does every straight man in this world man.

 

by nsusaint
3-30-04
You know if you were in Vegas right now, we could get you a prostitute.
That would be pimp as hell man.
Fucking A man, Fucking A.

 

by nsusaint
3-30-04
Man girls are fuckin crazy.
Shit, what are they doing now?
One girl was like, "Yeah, if me and my bf break up, were gonna go out," and now she's all over some other dude. I was like "Bitch, I'm the Best."

 

by nsusaint
3-30-04
I'm tired to trying to get rid of my gut. I've lost 30 pounds, but still have a spare tire around my mid-secton.
I've come up with a new solution, I'm going to stop dieting and just start hitting up the roids and lift weights. I'm going to be swole.
Oh yeah, just so you all know, I'm also going to be changing my AOL Instant Messanger name to hunglikesquirrel

 

by nsusaint
3-30-04
On second thought, I kinda still need my balls so I wil have to put that plan off until I have kids.
By that time, I'm sure they are going to have some ball enlargement pill that I can take to offset the shrinkage.
So for now, Don't do drugs, Drugs are bad mmmkay.

 

by nsusaint
4-06-04
You have your School Nerds
My mom says that my suit makes me cool.
I'm I new breed, clean cut, nerdy version of the trench coat mafia.
Then you have your Rich Nerds
I'm on my way down to wall street to trade pieces of worthless paper that people seem to pay huge money for.
You have your Comic Book Nerds and Movie Nerds
Dude, Hellboy was great, I wonder if walmart sells a giant red arm.
If you buy one, can I call you Cock-Knocker?

 

by nsusaint
4-09-04
As i sit here contemplating what I am doing here on this rock, i wonder 2 things.
why am I drinking lite beer and.....
Why is this the last beer that is left in the fridge.

 

by nsusaint
4-19-04
dude I forgot how hot Uma Thurman is.
She's hotness on a STICK
She needs to be on my stick.

 

by nsusaint
4-19-04
Mark Caro is a fag!!!
Who is that?
Who knows, but he gave Kill Bill Vol. 2 a C+ instead of an A.

 

by nsusaint
4-20-04
Hey, what's wrong with you?
Well, I feel like shit. I hate 4-20 day.
Why's that?
Well, I don't smoke pot, so all day I feel like shit.
But isn't it a good thing that you don't do pot?
Yeah I guess your right. Hey, is the way I'm feeling the same way that you Jewish people feel on Christmas Day?

 

by nsusaint
4-23-04
Next time you wake up and don't want to do the job that you are being payed for....
Next time, you get mad because something small didn't go your way...
R.I.P. Mr. Tillman
Just remember Pat Tillman gave up millions of dollars in the nfl to serve and fight for your freedoms.

 

by nsusaint
4-25-04
hey man did you know i'm multilingual. CORONA
HAHAHA
HEINEKEN
HAHAHA
LABATT BLUE, get it, cause it's imported beer
No, Yeah we got it. You speak canadian

 

by nsusaint
5-05-04
What would you do if a famous hot movie star came to play at your craps table.
did you read my comic on short sticking?
Yeah, but what if she isn't wearing anything revealing?
Well, I'm not really sure what I would really do, but I know I would probably stare and pray.
That's It, you would stare and pray? Pray what?
Well I could always pray she wins and tips me well if you know what I mean.

 

by nsusaint
5-05-04
The other day a hot girl came to my table wearing nothing but a trench coat and wanted to play craps.
we handed the dice off to her, she took off her trench coat and was well endowed. She rolled the dice and we payed her. She collected her winnings and smiled, winked, and then left.
that must have been crazy.
Yeah, the baseman asked me what she rolled and I told him, "I don't know, I thought you were paying attention." She was really, really hot.
so that's why you lost your job?

 

by nsusaint
5-14-04
Tribute
Write the best comic in the world, or I'll eat your Soul!
Just finished writing the comic
Be you Stan Lee?
No, I am just a man, ROCK!!!
Man, my friends are never going to believe I came up with the greatest comic in the world.

 

by nsusaint
5-18-04
It's time to kill some people. Ahhh here comes somebody.
Who the fuck is this strange looking person coming toward me.
I am the Grim Reaper, you killed my father, prepare to die!!
oh shit, is it my time already? Dammit I haven't been laid yet.

 

by nsusaint
5-18-04
What a pathetic loser, just makes the job that much more fun. time to find someone else.
Look at this gay looking fucker coming this way.
I am the Grim Reaper, you killed my father, prepare to die.
Thank god I fucked that internet porn star last weekend.

 

by nsusaint
5-18-04
God I love this job. Must.....find.....more....people....to....kill
the reaper is searching
nobody is in sight
IS THERE NO ONE ELSE! IS THERE NO ONE ELSE!

 

by nsusaint
7-01-04
What are you doing?
Making Love Baby!!!!
Well you dumb fuck, you just stuck it in the wrong hole.
It's ok, I stayed in a holiday inn express last night.

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