All comics by skerd22

Profile

 

by skerd22
6-21-08
Hi! I'm Kara, it's very nice to meet you!
heybby, im ur wildst drms n teh flesh
That would have totally worked online.

 

by skerd22
6-21-08
I'm so getting a date today.
Nice to see you again Kara. I'm a level 30 Warchief, you know.
Oh. I think I hear my gerbil calling me.
She so wants me.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Dude. You look ill.
Do I?
Like, your limbs are sticks, man.
Screw you, Jenny Craig.
Word.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
A greater scientific find has not yet graced the eyes of humanity! These burial masks are exquisite, and oh so culturally important that I may cry!
Hey Steve, check this out!
I'm a mask wearin' ancient dude!
Crying postponed. First I have to find the paperwork to fire you.
DUDE.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Are you smoking again honey? How many times have I told you? All that tar builds up in your lungs! You'll go extinct!
You know what honey, you're right. Thank you for looking out for me.
<3
The Brontos are going to go try out one of those tar-pit things later. Do we want to join them?
I'LL GET MY COAT!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I love elevators. They're a good way to lift the spirits.
Hi.
Don't talk to me. I heard that pun.
I hate elevators.
Tell me about it.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Darling, I do believe we're out of Grey Poupon.
I just bought some yesterday, dear. I put it on the top shelf.
Oh.
Top shelf. Guess that's what I get for marrying an ape.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I noticed you were eyeing my piece.
Excuse me?
My artwork. I call it "All the World's a Stage".
Ouch.
What's wrong, my little Venus?
Your previous statement physically hurt. And now I have to go. Don't follow me.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Goodness gracious, it's hot out here.
I mean, I must be near heat stroke. You look like a squirrel, Kyle.
I've always been a squirrel, Ryan.
So that's why you never return my phonecalls.
Actually, I just don't like you.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I can't believe you're going to sleep like that. You're going to get the sheets all bloody.
YOU'RE MADE OF SNOW.
No need to yell.
I'm sleeping on the couch.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Oh thank heavens! A bench! I've been walking for so long!
Oh thank heavens! A girl! I've been waiting for so long!
No wait! Come back! NOT YOU MR. SUMO! NEVER YOU!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Okay...just ease up on him...nice and slow...
And now...LUNGE!
Stupid glass doors.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
SPOCK!
WOODSTOCK!
BEAM ME UP!
FREE LOVE!
...you win.
Ha HA!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Seriously?
YOU WILL NOT DEFILE ME RODENT!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Officer, I assure you this was a normal, everyday procedure. I mean, those wrist clamps are standard procedure. They're for my safety.
Hmph.
Now how about I get you up to date on your immunizations?
How did you get out of your cuffs?
Meanwhile, in the real world...
For the last time, Dr. Fruitypants, I am not taking off my shirt!
sigh

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
WOOHOO! Isn't this great?
Pretend skiing is the BOMB!
This is stupid.
Sorry, I can't hear you over the AWESOME.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I think that guy is a vampire. I must know!
Are you a vampire?
I knew I should have asked sooner.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
No sign of vitals.
Guess we got here too late.
If you don't put that thing away and clean up your mess, I will kill you.
Hold on, the Nag-o-meter just spiked!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
What do you think?
It's...spacious.
I don't mean to hurry you, but I'm showing this property to another interested being later today.
Being?
He's hell to please, but he made a tempting initial offer.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Dude, your apartment sucks.
I know.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
OH MY GOODNESS!
THERE'S A DEMON ANIMAL IN MY BED!
Shut up. You're holding a cup sideways without spilling the liquid everywhere.
AND IT SPEAKS!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
That's it. No more pessimism.
I will greet each day with a smile on my face!
Hello Day!
KILL.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
So, you know why we're having this discussion, right?
I need to know that you understand what went wrong in there. Speak!
Woof.
Exactly.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Oh the humanity!
Is it over yet?
We're standing in front of a movie poster.
I can feel the shrapnel!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
It's from your ex.
She says she forgives you for the "birdbath" incident.
She included a picture of her tailfeathers.
GIMME THAT.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Whoa! An actual nun! I'm totally going for it!
Hi! I'm...inexplicably only in boxers.
You know I'm ignoring you for a reason, right?
Maybe I should slip into something more...comfortable.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I coulda sworn I was just holding twenty bucks.
I stole it, punk! I'm from those streets! Don't leave no money round me, I'll snatch it up! Ya too slow, son!
You're short and white.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Dude, I haven't hung out at the arcade in ages.
I'm tellin' you man, all the chicks hang out here. I'ma go scout. Good luck, man.
Hi! I'll be twelve next year!
We're leaving. Now.
Hold on, I gotta get her digits.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Excuse me, boy. Would you perhaps be interesting in helping me find my treasure?
You are the worst pirate ever.
My temper is short, boy.
How fitting.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Come peacfully with me, or stay here and be devoured by zombies. The choice is yours.
That robe is so ratty. I wouldn't be caught dead with you.
So be it. Jerk.
Excuse me, Mr. Zombie? Could you stop eating brains for a second and tell me where you got that adorable sweatervest?

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
And over here, you'll find our most modern collection.
OH MY EYES THEY BURN!
It wears off after a while. Once your retinas burn completely out.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Ninety nine, one hundred!
Ready or not , here I come!
Where am I?

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Marty! There's a bug by the clothes rack!
Squish him? I wouldn't dare touch such a disgusting creature!
I'm right here, you know.
MARTY!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
MY HOUSE!
Kids! Are you okay?
No! We're bacon!

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I daresay this is the finest cruise an old fossil like me ever had the good fortune of taking! It wasn't always like this, you know. Life didn't deal me the best hand, my boy.
I can remember eating only grass as a child. Can you imagine? Grass! How positively uncooth! But if we didn't eat our few blades, Father would catch a fit!
If he ever takes a breath, I'm nailing his mouth shut.
And that was before the war! During the war our ration was only a single blade of grass. One! A solitary piece of vegitation for the whole week! I say...

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Umm...excuse me? I need to use the...facilities.
I'm going to need to see some I.D.
Do...what now?
Do you or do you not have a license?
I just need to...
Yeah, you and everyone else. No one's above the law kid.

No one.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I'm here to fight for the honor of my lovely maiden!
Maiden?
You held her against her will, and you will now pay for it!
Are you talking about the chicken? Because she's currently topping this salad.
YOU FIEND!

 

Everytime your friends come over, it's the same thing!
by skerd22, 6-23-08

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
This is awkward.
No kidding.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
What makes you think you're security guard material?
Hrm.
I have a cousin who works as a nightstick.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Jim...what are you doing?!?!
Did you not get that promotion?!?!?
Looks like you've hit the nail on the head.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
This human chick is so dead.
KILL.
Your mother was a solar-powered calculator.
She had to pay the bills!
I know.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Oh. My arm just came off.
Bummer.
Bummer? Really? That's all you're bringing to the table? My ARM just came OFF.
I hate you.
Dude...you're really being a downer right now.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
If you just follow me back to the warehouse, you can see our extensive new selection of brooms.
So, anything catch your eye?
You're really short. Why is that?
You cursed me after your last broom broke three days after purchasing it.
Say it again.

 

MOM! Floyd fortified the game room again!
by skerd22, 6-23-08

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Where'd you get the nails?
I'm going to build a raft so we can escape the island.
I asked you where you got the hammer and nails, stupid.
I used the hammer to pull them out of this other raft.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Ayo, it's a midget vampire! No way, dawg!
I've come to suck your blood. Wait, did you call me "dawg"?
Man the homies ain't gonna believe this! I'ma hit up Pac right now!
You...know you're a nerdy white kid, right?
Yo Pac! You ain't nevah gonna believe what this cracka midget vampire just said!
I don't need this.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
And this is the workroom.
NO WAI!
There's the copier, in case you ever need it.
LOL!
You know what, you're fired.
:(

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I should talk to her today.
And I was like "Of course I don't know how to drive stick. My car's an automatic."
Or not.

 

Just make sure to stay away from garbage disposals from now on, okay?
by skerd22, 6-23-08

Showing page 1.

Next »