All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
1-05-06
Dave is morally outraged...
I cant believe it. What he did was too sick and repulsive even for him. Bob is competely PSYCHO!
I am afraid to ask. What did he do?
He's growing Bonsai Kittens and putting pictures of them on his blog.
What?
You really are an idiot Dave.

 

by BobRogers
1-05-06
The ugly truth is revealed...
Hold up. HOLD UP!
The urge to kill
You can't be seriously taking HIS side on this. Growing kittens in JARS is wrong in so many ways. It makes me want to PUKE!
Dave, it's an URBAN LEGEND!
Say what?
Bonsai kittens was a prank story put on the web by some college students as about 5 years ago. You've been PUNKED by Bob.

 

by BobRogers
1-05-06
Sister's dilemma...
He.....tricked me?
And you fell for it with both feet.
He TRICKED ME? There are no KITTENS? I showed my FEMININE SIDE FOR #$%@$ NOTHING?
Your heart was in the right place. It just that your head was where it usually is. Up your ... I'm outta here. Going to confession now.
Is it wrong to pray for God to send a bus to run over Bob and flatten him?
As long as he pays above scale to appear in this cartoon, yes, Sister it is.

 

by BobRogers
1-06-06
Back on the island...
Tobor think Dave major moron.
You've been reading his blog again, right?
Tobor hate people who dress dogs. Crush. Kill. Destroy.
Say... Tobor think you pretty cute...
Uh oh.

 

by BobRogers
1-06-06
Eep.
Eep.
Eep.
Oh, all right. But don't expect me to buy you dinner.

 

by BobRogers
1-06-06
At Dave's house...
My name is Earl and I'm here to make up for the misdeeds of my past.
A couple of years ago I killed Dave's goat and now Karma says I have to make up for it.
Good. That was the last one. Now Dave can get in and out of the house withour tripping over goats. I can cross Dave off my list.

 

by BobRogers
1-07-06
Dave is looking for a "special" person to handle a delicate job.
So you're a Hit Man?
Yep.
I want you to find U235-radioactive or Bob or whatever his name is and kill him. make it look like a accident.
1st Degree Murder cost $5995.95 extra on top of my regular fee of $300 a day.
Would you take three used puddin' spoons and a CD of Joel Tyner's Radio Show?
See you, Gomer.

 

by BobRogers
1-07-06
Hold up. Hold up. You got me all wrong...
Which part do I have wrong. The part about you being broke or the part about you being Gomer?
Listen Pal, My name is NOT GOMER! And I am NOT BROKE. I'm looking for a job right now!
Not that I care one way or another but what have you got against this Bob guy anyhow?
He writes about me in his blog. He pokes fun at me and gives me a hard time becaue I quit seeing my shrink. Women like him and HATE me. I want him to DIE, DIE, DIE!
I see. Well call me when you get some money, Albert, because I don't work for free.

 

by BobRogers
1-09-06
Dude, what are you doing up here in airless outer space where you wouldn't be able to breathe if this wasn't a toon?
I'm looking for Howard Stern.
What? You can't be.
Howard Stern is now broadcasting on Satellite. Satellites are in space. Therefore Howard Stern is up here.
I'm luck that my Head didn't explode from logic like that.
I want Howard Stern to find me a job...

 

by BobRogers
1-12-06
Meanwhile, down below...
Boris here, from WRRV Radio, interviewing the famous Bob Rogers. So, Bob, How's life treating you?
Ever try rolling a wheelchair in five feet of snow?
Ahem.. That bad eh? Well, on to the Question of the Day. What do you think of Howard Stern's $500 million switch to Sirus Satellite Radio?
You mean aside from the fact that as an entertainer he is the radio equivalent of PCB contaminated mud?
Um, yeah.
I think anyone who subscribes to SIRUS just to hear Howard Stern is a moronic, morally bankrupt waste of DNA. SIRUS has some good music though.

 

by BobRogers
1-12-06
That's a pretty strong opinion you have of Howard Stern there Bob. You know that Dave disagrees with you completely. He LOVES Howard Stern. Speaking of Dave here he comes now.
Huh? Wha..?
They're fighting like cats and dogs, ladies and gentlemen in the radio audience. OH! A left to Dave's JAW. A right to Bob's nose.! OH, the Humanity!
Howard Stern Does Not SUCK! Say it or I'll KILL YA!
Wow. That was a helluva fight. It seems to have ended in a draw. Guess we'll never know now whether Stern sucks or not.

 

by BobRogers
1-15-06
The Great Sirus Debate rages on...
Face it Dave. Howard Stern is being paid $500 million to act like an idiot. On that basis, you should be a billionaire.
You know what your problem is? You can't spell SIRUS!
I spell Sirus just fine. S.I.R.U.S - Sirus. What's the problem?
The problem is that you spell SIRUS S.I.R.U.S and not S.I.R.U.S. Spell it RIGHT DAMMIT!
I don't get it.

 

by BobRogers
1-16-06
The lobbiest meets Dave
Howard Stern is gay.
Howard Stern is NOT gay.
Sirus Sucks
You're NOT spelling it right! Sirus DOESN't suck. Damn, now you got me doing it.
Howard Stern is gay and Sirus Sucks
Nice AXE. I'm thinking you might be right. Sirus Sucks and Howard stern is gay.

 

by BobRogers
1-17-06
After the encounter with dave, Bunnyman runs into Bob...
Yo, Bunnyman! What's with all the blood?
I chopped Dave into 1240 unequal pieces and fed him to the duck.
Um, dude, ducks are not carniverous.
Uh, oh. That means he could regenerate. Gotta go now...
It's either me or the snow, but something is defintely getting stranger around here.

 

by BobRogers
1-17-06
Aren't you ashamed of yourself, helping perpetuate this strip's theme of violence and degradation?
I'm sorry, Sister. It's the way I am drawn, I guess. plus, that fiend, Bob... I have to do what he writes, you know.
You have to learn to resist these homicidal urges. You have to think only good thoughts.
Must not... kill... Nuns...
I am sooo going to hell.

 

by BobRogers
1-17-06
Mail time at Dave's house.
Postage went up. This 37 Cent stamp needs 2 cents more.
Liar! Stamps cost 7 cents for a letter.
Not any more. Postage went up. This 37 Cent stamp needs 2 cents more.
I'm not gving you anything. Postage did NOT GO UP!!
Postage went up. Read my lips. POSTAGE WENT UP!
That's a FAKE gun. You can't shoot me. I am your BOSS!

 

by BobRogers
1-17-06
Along comes Tobor the Empathetic..
I can't believe the day I am having. Shot by the mailman, chopped by the Bunnyman
Tobor Feel Your Pain... Make everything better.
Agggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
Now what?

 

by BobRogers
1-18-06
Tragedy in the park...
You can't come any closer. It's a crime scene over there.
I heard a scream. What happened?
There are pieces of Red Robot scttered over 30 square yards. Wires thrown everywhere and circuit boards shredded.
There are some curiously unidentifiable parts...
I really don't want to know.

 

by BobRogers
1-21-06
It's mail time on Loretta's World...
So what do we have today, letter wise, oh faithful, yet crudely drawn secretary?
Dear Bob, The Dominatrix Penguin rocked. When can we see more of her? Signed, Whip Lover.
Dear Whip, She is currently busy flogging Hillary Clinton for using the word "Plantation" in a sentence. We will be seeing her soon, undoubtedly.
Dear Bob, is Tobor the robot OK? We am really concerned about him. Signed, the cast of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy.
I am speechless
I'll alert the media..

 

by BobRogers
1-22-06
The game is afoot...
Dude! When did you get back from the Island?
Yesterday. I was scheduled for a plane crash but it never made it past the storyboard.
So what's going on? I thought your gig on the Island was going to be a running gag.
That was before the "powers that be" decided to kill off Dave.
What? How can they do that? Aside from the problems inherent in cartoon physics, isn't he considered a main character?
Dude. I am just a bit player in this universe. I don't pretend to know what the big cheeses think about.

 

by BobRogers
1-23-06
Bob grapples with the information that somebody wants to kill Dave.
Killing Dave is a bad idea. He has been a main character since the first cartoon.
Wait a minute. I am the cartoonist!! I run this strip and ths is my world. Nobody can kill Dave without my permission
So who are the mysterious "powers that be" that Gargoyle was talking about? If they can kill Dave, they can kill ME!
I gotta do something about this right away. I've got to find out just who is behind this plot to kill us all.
So you been messing with Bob's head, right?
I am innocent of all charges. Torture will get you nowhere.

 

by BobRogers
1-24-06
A new face in the park.
I am looking for Dave, English. Have you seen him around?
Hold your horses. I'm not English. I'm from Indiana.
I reiterate - I am looking for Dave. Have you seen him around?
Nah. He's over at Enterprise rent A Car applying for a job. What do you want him for anyhow?
I'm an Amish hit man. I've been sent to kill Dave.
Oh, come ON.

 

by BobRogers
1-24-06
I know where Enterprise Rent A Car is located. I'll just go on down and off Dave. See you.
Ahh hold up. Hold up. Just a second there. hang on.
Yes?
Who put you up to this? Who paid you to kill Dave?
The Tobor Memorial Foundation, of course.
I hadda ask.

 

by BobRogers
1-25-06
Confusion, thy name is Bob...
So the "Powers That Be" are actually the Red Robot memorial Foundation and they put out a hit on Dave?
They hired an Amish Hit Man.
Get the $#% out of here!
He was just here a little while ago and now he's on his way over to Enterprise Rent A Car to "Off Dave." His words not mine.
I'm confused. If I am the cartoonist, and I write the cartoons, why don't I already know all this?
Bingo!

 

by BobRogers
1-25-06
Confusion redux...
What if I am not the cartoonist? What if someone else is writing these cartoons and just pretending that it's me. What if...
Anybody got an aspirin?
It's just strange, that's all. I'm a character in this strip, that's a fact. And I am Bob and Bob writes the toon. Therefore "I" write the toon. but...
Or a qualude, perhaps? Some shroom or a little bit of toke?
You know this happens everytime he starts trying to make sense of his life.

 

by BobRogers
1-25-06
After Bob spontaneously combusted, Gargoyle called the fire department, who responded quickly...
Ow.
This is exactly what i've been talkin about. I mean... why would I inflict punishment like this on myself? There has to be some evil plot afoot.
Of course you know, this means war.

 

by BobRogers
1-27-06
Later that day...
Ha ha! You look stupid.
First flame. Now torture.
This is what you get for sending an Amish hit man to try and kill me. I'm invincible. Nothing can touch me.
Please God, if you're listening...
Ow.
Sweet satisfaction

 

by BobRogers
1-28-06
The border between Heaven and Hell is the site of an unusual meeting...
So, God, you sent for me?
Hi, Loretta. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about Bob's cartoon strip, you know, Loretta's World...
Sure. No problem. It was nice of him to name it after me, don't you think?
Indeed. But there seems to be a problem down there. Someone seems to have wrested control of the writing from Bob and is torturing all the characters.
And you think it's me?
Well, you are a demon, Loretta, are you not?

 

by BobRogers
1-28-06
Well, God, what can I say? Torturing people is part of my franchise. Misery for me is like Egg McMuffins for Mcdonald's. Just part of the menu.
i'm afraid it's a little more complicated than that. You see, someone is actually out to terminate Loretta's World completely.
You mean like when Bob dropped a nucl;ear bomb on Pleasant valley and fried 20 square miles of upstate New York?
Worse. I think there's a plot afoot to cancel the strip without making a replacement.
The horror!
Yep. It would mean returning to Brad's database program for every character now living on Loretta's World.

 

by BobRogers
1-28-06
Cancel the strip? As in no more panels ever? That's just insane.
Well, now you have a handle on the dilemma. The plot is not coming from anyone "on" Loretta's World. It is coming from the world above where Bob is, where Brad keeps the StripCreator database.
You mean the "real" world?
Yep.
But you're God. You're omnipotent. Can't you do something about all this? I mean. it's so dark and lonely inside that database. I couldn't stand not being drawn... it would just kill me.
I see you understand the gravity of the situation.

 

by BobRogers
1-30-06
Meanwhile, in the park On Loretta's World...
You ever get the feeling that you're not alone?
You mean like there's someone watching us right now?

 

by BobRogers
1-31-06
A Letter pours in and our secretary delivers it...
Dear Bob, you are not fooling anyone. You are the only writer for the Loretta's World Comic Strip. You are just obfuscating the obvious.
Obfuscating?
You think just because Dave got a job that there will not be anything to write about and you will be embarrassed and forced to kill yourself Japanese style.
Who is this guy?
If you don't quit messing around and start writing funny cartoon strips again, I will be forced to take drastic action. And it's signed Cale Cody.
I'm on the next train to Chicago...

 

by BobRogers
1-31-06
Later, aboard the train...
I can't believe that Amtrack's cost cutting measures included removing all the windows from East-bound dining cars.
Still that whole letter thing was a setup for a plane crash. But I didn't fall for it. HA!
Of course the old tractor-trailer on the railroad tracks gag is timeless too.

 

by BobRogers
2-01-06
As the train explodes in the background, a sinister conversation takes place...
i saw you sabotage that railroad crossing.
Not true. I am a victim of the "random layout button."
You fixed the crossing gate so that it wouldn't flash the road when the train came. Er... what's with the axe?
Mmmmm. Mouseburgers.

 

by BobRogers
2-01-06
The investigation begins...
I am from the Amtrack Legal Department. Any idea what made the train explode? It was a passenger train after all.
Might be related to the 4 tons of nitroglycerin in the baggage car.
What makes you think there was nitro in the baggage car?
The 60 foot diamater 20 foot deep hole where the baggage car and engines used to be is a clue.
So how long will it keep exploding?
Another hour or so, why, you got someplace you have to be?

 

by BobRogers
2-01-06
In the ravine below the tracks...
Could you put me out please?
What are you doing way down here more than a hundred yards from the Amtrack wreck mentioned in the last strip?
Um... BURNING!!!
Thank you mate! That water is cold!
No pleasing some people...

 

by BobRogers
2-01-06
In the forest behind the train, a Marine does his duty...
My Gunnery Sgt told me to come find you and bring you back to the disaster staging area.
Eep
Said you were in the last car and escaped the hard core explosion. Said I should tell you that everything is OK now.
Eep
Wow. You FEMA guys don't talk too much do you?
Eep?

 

by BobRogers
2-01-06
Man. It's F-f-f-freezing down here.
C'mon baby light my FIRE!
Didn't really mean that literally.

 

by BobRogers
2-02-06
Figuring it all out is Joe the undercover cop...
Now let me see if i understand this... Bob took a train to Chicago because he believed the letter segment was a setup for a plane crash...
... and somebody sabotaged a gate crossing, and blew up an Amtrack train carrying nitro on which Bob was riding...
... and this is all a plot by an unknown writer to take over the strip from Bob.
Wow. You really ARE a detective.

 

by BobRogers
2-07-06
Tobor's reassembly seems to be going well...
Tobor not feel too good.
No wonder. You've been through a trauma. Dave ripped you into very small pieces and stomped your processor into silica shards.
Tobor wish he could remember.
That's OK. Your reprogramming is almost complete. Then you can go back out into the world and pillage anew.
Rawrrr?
I knew I learned Cobol for a reason. Now if I could just get that hard drive to reboot...

 

by BobRogers
2-07-06
Waking up dead one morning, Erick has very little regret...
So this is Hell. Hmm. Being dead isn't all that bad. Standing all alone in an airless void counting stars doesn't suck...
Ok. Maybe not alone...
I'd bayonette that Yankee scum if only I weren't made of cast lead...

 

by BobRogers
2-07-06
Erick explores Hell.
All this time I thought Hell was fire and brimstone and demons and Satan
And it turns out that none of it is true. Hell is just an empty gray void with nobody around but me but me.
Alright... Almost nobody.

 

by BobRogers
2-08-06
Introducing Matthew... Matthew, meet Gargoyle.
Whatcha doin?
Waiting for someone to kill.
Agggggggggggggg!
Oh, wait, you were kidding, rigjht?

 

by BobRogers
2-11-06
So who exactly are you anyhow?
Matthew's the name and torturing Dave is my game.
Dude. torturing Dave is Passe'. He has so many troubles of his own that it's almost sacreligeous to give him more grief.
But it is sooooo much fun.
I'll admit that's true.

 

by BobRogers
2-11-06
Grr... grrr.. grrr.
Dave. Long time no see. What's up dude? Why are you looking so upset?
It's that punk Matthew. He put sugar in the gas tank of my car.
Dude! That sucks!
Now my car is going to have diabetes.
The road less traveled, thy name is Dave.

 

by BobRogers
2-11-06
When I catch up with Matthew I am going to rip that punk into a thousand pieces and stomp on each piece.
Then I'm going to grind all those pieces into hamburger and feed it to wild carniverous hogs...
I just had the strangest premonition

 

by BobRogers
2-13-06
Dave's job at ERAC has taken a sticky turn...
I hear you're not happy with your new job, Dave.
Who me? Not me! I am as happy as a fly on toast, Randy
Well I'm glad to hear that because if I hear about you running off the mouth at the boss, I'll be forced to do domething drastic.
Oh yeah? Let's see you try it.
And let that be a lesson to you.
Halitosis as an offensive weapon. Who would have thought...

 

by BobRogers
2-14-06
Bacon Man goes walkabout...
Whew! Leaving the FRYING PAN was a bad idea.
I don't know where this FIRE came from. Sure is hot. I'm starting to sizzle.
I HATE the random Comic Layout Button! Where's a hose when you need one?

 

by BobRogers
2-14-06
Present, duck. Absent, dave.
Have you seen Dave around?
Quack.
I was saving myself for marriage. But instead, I want to make wild passionate love to Dave.
QUACK?
Let me know if you see him.
Quack!

 

by BobRogers
2-15-06
The search for Dave is on in earnest...
Say, have you seen Dave around? There's a scantily clad gorgeous bimbette looking for him.
Who are you?
My name is George. I'm a carpenter. You know, I nail windows shut and prefer New York to Florida in the windertime
Ahh. The guy that Dave writes about in his blog and refers to as "The Old Geezer."
That would be me.
I haven't seen Dave in a couple of days, ever since Bob disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

Showing page 10.

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