All comics by DragonXero

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by DragonXero
6-26-02
And so, back to where we started. Perhaps a new quest awaits our heroes over the horizon?
One thing is for sure, this epic adventure of mystery, action, and love, is at a close.
Or is it....?
Moh!

 

by DragonXero
6-26-02
What the hell happened here?
Well, after Dragon Xero's insane epic, the stripcreator universe fell apart.
So what the hell is being done about it?
Don't look at me, I'm not God.
Yes you are!
Oh, yeah! I forgot.

 

by DragonXero
6-26-02
So, God, what are you gonnna do about this??
I was kinda planning on rebooting the universe.
Ah, there we go. Too bad the resolution's so high that we can't see the boot up letters.
Oh well, at least we're not getting a blue screen of de-
FUCK.

 

by DragonXero
6-28-02
Ein Tag an der Ranch...
So sagte ich "jene Rotorturbinen werde nicht gravitons durch selbst erzeugen"
Ha, ha!
Ãœber was sprechen das Bumsen Sie?

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
John! I love you!! Fuck me like a rabid beast!!
Marsha, that wouldn't work out...
Um... why not?
We come from two different races, no one would ever understand. We'd be mocked on the street.
But, can't a girl just get a booty call from her alien manservant?!
Well... there is one other thing... I have no genitals.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
AH! I AM DIETING!
GONNA PUKE!
*blargh*

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
So I said "How can you give me a suppository with both your hands on my back?"
Ha ha!
That is fucking sick.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
I still don't see him.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Something isn't right here.
OH! I know.
Much better.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
GAH! What happened to my reflection?!
I'm not your reflection.
Then what are you?!
God.
Oh, yeah. Forgot.
Duh.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Okay, time to try this "reboot" thing again.
GAH! DAMMIT!
HEY, NO, GET BACK HERE!
I'm quitting.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Hrm, er, ah, what seems ta be da problem 'ere miss.. uh... God?
Well, you see, every time I try to reboot this damn universe, it crashes on me, BSOD.
Ah, here's yer prollem. Ah'll just remove dis here "JrnymnNate" program from da startup. Should work.
It better, or I'mma smite your ass.
Welcome to Universe XP!
Dere we go.
@#$% WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Well, dat'll do it. Now fer my fee. I'll need m'own personal solar system with a planet full of gorgeous sex-hungry women to do my bidding.
Done.
Oh, and dat dere infinite wealth, of course.
Psshhh, Done.
Oh, and kin ya make stripcreator devoid of shitty comics?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm omnipotent, but I can't do that. Miracles are SO 1,000 BC.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Hrm... something doesn't seem right...
I don't see anything.
That's the point. Nothing. No cars, no people.
No cats, dogs, anything...
You know what this means right?
Right.... PARTAY!!!!

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
You moron! I should smite you right here!
Everyone loves a party.
EVERYONE ISN'T HERE!
So what the hell is going on??
It seems that when the universe crashed, all the files in the folder "animal life" were destroyed.
What the FUCK are you talking about?

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
SATAN! Do you have any souls down here?
Wh- huh? No... Er, why do you ask?
HELP US!
I AM DIEING!
No reason.
Coo. Coo.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
So, what'd Satan say?
Lying bastard said he didn't have any souls. I guess we could try downloading the life from the alt.life.universe newsgroup.
NO! Remember what happened last time we did that?
I'm a bit forgetful when I'm STRESSING OVER LOSING THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF LIFE FOR THE UNIVERSE.
Two words: "French People."
ICK!

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Me damn it! What the hell am I gonna do?
You could always start over from scratch.
No. It took me six days to do that last time, and I don't feel like fucking with it again. I know it would end up being like something out of Star Trek.
Could just scrap it all. Who needs a universe anyway? It got boring about 1,000AD.
JESUS!
What?!

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Anyway, why'd you have to give me a BOY'S name, mom?
Because I hate you.
Oh. That explains that whole "Crucifixion" thing.
Damn straight.
YOU JUST WATCH! I'LL START MY OWN UNIVERSE, AND IT'LL BE FULL OF HUNKY MEN!
You'll be back. Just like that time you started that me-awful band "Kittie". My people will never face THAT kind of torture again! If I ever get them back..

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Ah, this is it! I found a backup of all my Life files!
LOADING.ALL.LIFE.IN.UNIVERSE
Thank me for DVD-RAM.
SYNTAX.ERROR
Aw for fuckssake. This file is from 1993. Grunge, rap, Billy Ray Cyrus, and icky car models.
RUN.PROGRAM? Y/N

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
Here we go...
Welcome to Universe XP
YES! It worked! Hello human!
Lightning strikes, and the thunder rolls...
GAAAH! *smite*
GRAAAAAGH!!!!

 

by DragonXero
6-29-02
All is going well in the freshly reinstalled Universe XP...
I see you're back, daughter.
Yeah... I couldn't get the stupid Universe to work right.
Oh? What did you use?
Well, I installed Mandrake Univerx 8.3.
THE FUCKING END.
Oooh, nice stable universe. What went wrong?
I couldn't figure out how to run anything but the paint program. The universe ended up being 1 dimensional, and squiggly.

 

by DragonXero
6-30-02
What if James finally had GOOD sex?
Oh man, that was AWESOME!!
I can finally die happy!
AHHH!! I AM DIEING!

 

by DragonXero
6-30-02
What if James' computer didn't suck?
Here goes... posting to the forums...
*wince*
What the hell? It posted!

 

by DragonXero
6-30-02
What if them rotor turbines could generate gravitons by themselves?
Ha ha!
What the fuck am I talking about?

 

by DragonXero
6-30-02
What if MTV didn't suck?
That was Blind Guardian with "Nightfall". Up next is Beethoven's "Fur Elise".
What the hell?
But first, an intelligent discussion of music's effect on society, with extremely beautiful, nude women, and no censoring.
...This must be Asgaard...
JUST KIDDING! Next up is another shitty Korn video with lots of censored nudity and bleeped out cuss words.
*twitch* *grkh* murderous impulses... undeniable...

 

by DragonXero
7-02-02
So I said "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves."
Ha HA!
What the FUCK, are you laughing about?

 

by DragonXero
7-03-02
See anything you like, Doc?
GOOD LORD YOUR HANDS ARE COLD!
Oooops. I hope that won't be too hard to clean up.

 

by DragonXero
7-11-02
Tobor, you really should stop raping people, it's not nice.
RARRR! TOBOR KNOW HOW TO TREAT HIS BITCHES!
Yeah, right. You are just a USER.
TOBOR WILL SHOW YOU "USING"!
Oh no...
PREPARE TO BE USED!

 

by DragonXero
7-16-02
I have defeated you! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!
Oh no..
Ah hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha *cough* *hack*
HAH!
Shut up, bastard. I'm gloating.
Loser!

 

by DragonXero
7-17-02
First off, let's discuss highschool archetypes.
Many of you called them "Cliques" or "Groups". They needn't be in groups to maintain the pack...
...Metnality. Johnson! What'd I say about throwing paper airplanes?

 

by DragonXero
7-17-02
Over the next few strips, I will be presenting several examples of individual archetypes. Enjoy.
First, the most parodied group. Preppies, popular kids, stupid bastards, whatever you call them.
Hi. I'm like, supposed to talk about how perky I am...
But, I just have to tell this girl how out of style she is.
Oh. Damn. I thought the Yellow-Crested Football Whore was extinct. My bad.

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Hm. Says here I now have a bloody stump for a leg!
Wow, can I touch it?
No, you may not.
Awww, why not?
Because it HURTS, you jerk!!
Feh, you didn't complain last night when I cut it off in our little "play time".

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Arrr! So ye're the scallywag applyin' fer the new position aboard my ship, aye?
Uh, yeah Cap'n Clippy.
I gotta warn ya, there'll be plenty 'o rapin', stealin', drinkin', and killin'!
Serves me fine Cap'n! When do we set sail with the rest of the crew?
Set sail? Crew?

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Why did you cut my leg off, you heartless bastard??
I didn't.
What?
I catually blew it off with a stick of dynamite.
That would explain the singed edges.
And your errection.

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Hey James, wanna be pirates?
Surely! We can use our booty to secure an entire library of metal CDs and instruments!
Well, I had other ideas...
Did you now?
A few weeks later, onboard the pirate ship....
Your elven mage has destroyed the fish-men.
Sweet! This is much more fun than actually robbing people.

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
I found you a new leg, it'll work perfectly.
Very good. Er, what's with the nail and hammer?
Well?
Hold still, this is going to hurt. A lot.
Can I just get a peg leg instead??

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Welcome aboard, scurvy mate! The name's "Captain Braids"
Hrm, well, I don't see any braids in your hair.
So, what's your point?
Well, how'd you get that name?
Well...
Oh, SICK, never mind!!

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
There! It's on now.
YOU CUMGUZZLER! You put it on the wrong way!!
Hey, it's hard to tell with you! Your biology is all weird, so don't get all pissy with me!
*snort*
And stop calling me pet names in public, it embarasses me.
Oh, sorry.

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Well, you've got two choices: ass-pillaging by me, or first mate Tabor.
ACK! Wait... Tabor? His name is Tob-
SHHH! TSR will sue our asses if we say that word.
What word, Tob-
SHUT UP. Believe me, you'd rather have Tabor rape your ass than TSR.
I dunno, big metal schlong, or a few needlepeckers in a lawfirm...

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Well, it would seem you've shove your own foot up your ass. I really shouldn't help you.
Yes you should, bunghole... er, in a few minutes though.
Wait, you just crammed your own foot up your ass. Why are you still smiling so wide??
Oh, never mind.

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
Dammit, I told you not to say it!
I'm sorry. Can I get a blowjob instead?
I don't think that's possible anymore.
You mean, it's over?
Huh? No, I hacked off your penis while I was at your leg.
Well, I'll be.

 

by DragonXero
8-15-02
After the success of it's female reproduction video for girls' health classes, Disney decided to make one for the boys too...
Hi boys! I'm your penis!
It had it's... problems...
Now, not every penis looks like me! Yours may be brown, yellow, or black. Some of you may have ORANGE ones!
Several young boys who had eaten Cheetos before masturbating needed years of counseling.
Those of you with oramge ones have herpes!

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
So I said to him "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
I'm so lonely.

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
Well, it would appear that the world is now completely barren and devoid of all life.
There's only one thing left to say...
All your base are belong to me.

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
Man, I can't believe my mom sent me to my room.
I mean, it's not like it was that horrible.
I'm sure those nuns will grow their arms back in a couple years.

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
Ever wonder why trees scream when you cut them down?
I think they do it because it hurts.
Damn. I knew I shouldn't have gotten this damn squirrel stuffed.

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
I really should call her. It's been three days.
I've even got her phone number. I'm just so scared.
I mean, what if she wasn't drunk enough to not realize I'm a donkey?

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
*knock knock*
Hello!? I'm here to talk to you about our lord and father, Jehovah!
Hello?

 

by DragonXero
8-20-02
Man, the boss is a slave driver.
You're god-damned right.
He just works us around the sundail, every solar passing!
Yeah. Someone should teach him a lesson.
You do it. I'm not fucking with a raptor.
Maybe an asteroid will hit him.

Showing page 10.

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