All comics by xxausrottenxx

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by xxausrottenxx
6-05-04
mom you can't get involved with the mafia, you'll end up dead!
son, don't involve yourself in mommy's affairs
see, this all makes sense now. jimmy's mom "went to camp", and bobs mom is on a "symbatical". you need to stop!
but men are noticing me now that ive lost weight
of course they are dressed in suits and carrying tommy guns, but theyre men, dammit

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-05-04
hello?
is your mudda there?
no shes not, what do you want with her
im here to collect...old sunglasses for the needy, yeah that sounds good, sunglasses for the needy
since when do social workers carry shotguns and drive armored cars
um, i work in the retarded rapper unit?

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-06-04
oh shit
son, what are you doing in there, and whats that smell?
um, im high on jesus?
fuck

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-06-04
*cough*
what?

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-06-04
crabby in chaps, nice one, should write that down
...
...

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-07-04
I cant stand my father, he is SUCH an asshole!
Oh goodness, i know! Just last week he got me whipped for playing grab-ass with the angels!
I wonder what Satan thinks about my dad, I mean he can't still be sour at him for the whole "eternal damnation" thing
Hmmm...

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-07-04
hey, a chicken
why did you cross the road?
to molest babies

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-07-04
those damn teenagers and their destructive paths, i hope we're safe
yeah, we blend right in to the snow behind us
fuck! that was my only friend! ILL GET YOU BASTARDS!
he owed me five bucks..

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-07-04
why are you in a space suit
global warming dude, nobody's safe these days
i seem to be doing alright
you can never be too sure
republicans...

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
they say in the summer homosexuals fit in better with everyone else
oh yeah?
...
wow

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
so it appears that possums has made it to 500 before me
well dont worry possums, these 40 comics will prove your ill
intro comics are never funny
grrrr

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
ill be right back, i have to drop a deuce
pop!
what the?
um?
AAAAAHHHHH!!!
...

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
they say slow and steady wins the race
ill say
HAH!
SHIT!
slow and steady also doesnt run off a cliff

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
why aren't there any african americans on stripcreator?
...
oh sorry i can't help you, im not from africa or america

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
we're actually japanese
racist pricks..

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
wow when they said only cockroaches would survive the apocolypse, they weren't lying
yeah
Moh.
sucker

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
..im serious, i really didn't see that old lady walking down the road
oh well, she was gonna die soon anyway
you dont have to be an ass about it
yes i do

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
it feels like someone is right behind me
shit!
knives for sale

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
so how bout that steph? isn't she the most beautiful girl ever?
shes gorgeus
dude she's MY girlfriend, you arent supposed to use different synonyms than i do, thats like undressing her with your eyes
hhrm sorry, i mean she's hideus
there we g- HEY!

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
hey there handsome
um, hi Steph, is Pete around?
oh no, hes out for the evening, but YOU can "cum" in if you like
you spelled come wro- oh, alright
i sure hope racial stereotypes are true

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
oh god!
oh gosh, its so big!
*click*
steph...WHAT THE FUCK!
that damn coral snake has gotta be around here somewhere
i know, you'd think a big black snake would be easier to find than this

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
later that day
Peter, if you can't trust me with your best friend, how can i trust you with our relationship
what the hell does that mean?
I'm breaking up with you Peter, I need some time apart
...
now steph i know its opposite day and all but i....oh you're serious

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
i cant fucking believe that bitch
she just needs some time to think it over
dude, i thought you were my friend
i mean, Yeah! fuck that whore, get some new poon
a whore huh!? some friend you are!

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
Why'd you do it Steph, he really loved you
Oh hunny, he needs to get his life in line, but im alot more mature, i know a man when i see one
well, all this talking is making me hungry, can i have a bite of that slim jim in your pocket
what slim jim?
YES!

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
A month later
honey, i think we should clean out the attic, its starting to smell like your aunt silvia
go on up, ill be up in a second
In the attic
man this attic is huge...say isn't that Pete's old phone? It still works, theres even an unheard message on it
End of message *beep*
Sweetheart im he- where'd you go, and why is Peters old phone....shit

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
i have to find Peter, what was on that message is too much for me to bear, he needs her back, and now
excuse me sir, if you see a man named Peter coming through here will you give him this note?
certainly
that seemed a little easy
he seems a little easy

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
Meanwhile
sir, i believe i have a note for you
for me?
Its from my friend, he says Steph still loves me!! this is great news!!
so "your friend" is available?

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
Meanwhile..Meanwhile
hey, its a message from Steph
*beep* Hi sweetie I just wanted to say im sorry for coming on to you so fast, I need you tonight *beep*
hhm, being a friend to Pete, Sweet love to Steph?
*beep* Another thing you stud, I bought flavored condoms*beep*

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
later on
hhm, no answer at Stephs, shes probably getting all lubed up for tonight, i should probably just go on in
*click*
Steph!? Pete!? What, you still trying to find that coral snake?
oh...looks like you've found it alright

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
you have to face it dude, she's with me again
i know, i figured it was for the best to get you two back together
but you had sex with her while we were broken up, how is that being a good friend?
agh, well if it makes it any better, the sex sucked
you're saying my girlfriend isn't good enough for you?? some friend you are.

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
so...this is what it has come to. me sitting in my room crying over a girl that's not even mine
ill show them both

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
At Steph's house
dude??? what are you doing?
what i should have done the whole time.
*BAM* *BAM* *BAM*
OH MY GOD, HE HAS A GUN!!!
you missed your own head, and shot my vase
whoops, sorry

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-09-04
you can't just shoot yourself over a girl
i suppose you're right
oh, Pete..
Fin.

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-10-04
so this is earth, it doesn't look like much
it appears that there was some sort of war, master
are there any human biengs left
no, but there is one sign that says:
"Jesus Wuz Here"

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-10-04
well if this Jesus character is still around, I'd like to meet him
perhaps we can have that arranged
These humans have a philosopy where you can have anything you want as long as you pray
as long as it's not gay marriage

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-10-04
meanwhile
wow, jesus really went all out here, well better get this place cleaned up
um, hello?
a local, i better let him know we are a kind race
I love dick and bush

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-10-04
what are you still doing here, it's the end of the world
im exploring the cosmos
the world is finished, there are not more beings left in the entire universe...unless
haha so after i got satan all boozed up, i double dog dared him to piss off God just ONE more time
haha!

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-10-04
this has been a big mistake, you are not supposed to exist
fine, We'll be on our way then...ass
it appears the inhabitants are a group of egotistical, backstabbing jerks. what was the human word you use for this situation
republicans

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-13-04
i thought confederate flags were illegal now
i thought we had freedom of expression
hhm
hhm

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-13-04
are you a metrosexual?
no, im a clown
wait, so you ARE a metrosexual?

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-13-04
skeet skeet skeet
yes i know how the AOL startup sounds

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-13-04
Suicide sacrifice, thrust of evil deep inside Lucifer never lies, take away thee mortal life
you were saying?
yeah...about that

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-13-04
i kill cops! if there was a cop right here id kill the fucker on the spot
kill.....cop..s...
nice day, isnt it?

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-16-04
man fuck that english paper, they're trying to conform us
yeah, im definately not doing it
later
damn! i shouldn't have procrastinated. now ill fail and never be allowed to go to the blink-182 concert
I know! Ill try to sound intelligent. Gotta be sure to throw in some Anti-Flag quotes somewhere.

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-17-04
Um, trick or treat?
Or does the trick become the treat??
7 day blah blah balh
Um, trick or treat?
HAR HAR ROXORED!
HAHA IM REALLY COOL AND PLAY SOME LAME VIDEOGAME NOBODY LIKES!!
Um, trick or treat?
DURR THIS SENSE NO MAKES!!

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-17-04
so i told her that it was probably natural and the blood cysts would go away eventually
is that right?
fuck!
whats wrong?
oh nothing, i remember now

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-17-04
you ever heard that phrase that goes "never send a chicken to bring home a fox"
sort of
yeah, me too

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-17-04
robb is close to 500
500 what?
rape charges

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-17-04
tell me donkey, when's the last time you fucked a good slut
two days ago
you really think im a slut??

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-17-04
ass
cock
bitch
pussy
queef

Showing page 10.

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