All comics by Boritom

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by Boritom
6-09-05
Are you sure...?
Yup
There couldn't be a mistake... or...
Nope
Well... Shit!
Yup

 

by Boritom
6-09-05
What the...
Fuck... I hate when Adam uses the "Random Comic Layout" and then can't think of a single fucking joke!

 

by Boritom
6-09-05
...so I sez to the feller, I sez, "By cracky, if'n you don't get yer ass off my property by the time I count to ten, I'm a gonna blast yer head clean off!"
I find that rather difficult to believe.
What, that I'd actually kill a feller in cold blood?
No, that you have the mental capacity to count to ten!

 

by Boritom
6-10-05
Hey, Kid! Do you happen to know if this is where the International Cheese Tasters seminar is being held?
Don't call me kid.
Oh... I'm sorry... Well, do you know if this is the place?
I refuse to answer on the grounds that you're an annoying little stuck up prick!
There's no need to be rude!
There's no need to be an annoying little stuck up prick, either, but I don't see you going to great lengths to change.

 

by Boritom
6-10-05
Amusing sociological observation
snide, insulting comment.
irritated retort.
threat of physical violence to genitals
Non-sequetorial sexual come-on
Wildly hilarious punchline.

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Would you like to be my dirty little bitch?
No... Would you like to buy a forged Bosnian passport?
No.
...and they stood like that for, like, six hours, until the kinky guy got carried off and eaten by a giant osprey!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Look... I don't mean to burst your creationist bubble or anything...
Then don't, obvious figment of my Imagination!
Ever been eaten by a figment of your imagination before?

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Are you done in there, yet?
... Dad...?
Well... Shit!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Bless me father, for I have sinned...
I'm not a priest, buddy. I'm just looking for the bathroom.
Oh... well... How was I supposed to know? You bipeds all look alike to me!
Racist!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Baa-Rooooooo!
Baa-Rooooooo!
*sigh*

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
...so I guess what I'm really asking is, What is the whole point of living?
Gee... I don't know...
...
...
nnngggghhh
rawr? Tobor corn... hole... Oh forget it!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
My Son, you do realize that gluttony is a sin, don't you?
So is assfucking eight-year-old boys!
Oh... Go to Hell!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Awroit! 'Old it roight there, Mate!
Before you blow me to kingdom come, can I ask you one question?
Ahh, sure, Why not!
How are you breathing under water?
Oh Shit!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Are you staring at my ass?
Nope.
Oh....
Are you staring at my kooch?
Look... Just shut the fuck up, okay?

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
I'm A Soldier for the Confederate Army!
Aye, and I'm a scurvy Pirate, Arrr.
We're here today to lecture you kids on a very important subject!
Aye, we are that, Matey...
So first a show of hands...
Who here knows what a prophilactic is?

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
I hate you!
I hate you more!
I hate you so much, I wanna rip off the top of your head and pour acid on your brain!
Oh yeah? Well I hate YOU so much, I wanna tear your belly open and strangle you to death with your own entrails!
Wanna grudgefuck?
I thought you'd never ask!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Yipee... We're going to DIE!!!
Nice to see you're looking at the bright side!
Hell yeah! This means I don't have to pay back the $24,150 I owe my bookie!
fucker!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Wow... That guy over there is frozen solid! I wonder if I can use that laser over there to thaw him out?
'Course, if I do, then he'll probably want to show me his gratitude by trying to have oral sex with me...
Unless... maybe if his dick is the last part I thaw...

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Bitch!
Slut!
Whore!
Dyke!
Jizz muncher!
Cunt lapper!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Did Not!
Did Too!
DID NOT!
DID TOO!
Didn't!
Did!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Wow... The Moon looks realy cool!
Too bad I'm about to die from lack of oxygen... that is if I don't implode first!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Now... be really quiet, Emiko, and I'll show you how to bag a Deer!
Why would he want to put his balls on a deer's nose?

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Oh WOW! A Jack-O-Lantern!
I'm gonna take it home and save it for Halloween!
I'm a plastic Santa, you asshat!
Nail-Head-Thump-Ouchie!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Hey Pants...
Hey, Spigot.
Why are we in your bedr...
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
God... Kill me now, Please!
...Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Hello there, young one!
Hi... Who are you?
I'm the invisible man!
Okay.
I'm naked, you know...
Okay.

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Now, children, before I conclude the lecture, are there any questions?
Yeah... I gots a question!
Yes, Timmy?
Does Doctor Who know that you raid his wardrobe?
Little fucker!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
... So, if you take a small amount of the special chemical, and sprinkle it on the bug, he dances real crazy, like...
Hold it, pal! First off, it's flat out wrong to bring drugs into Mrs. Crabburger's 3rd grade class for any reason!
Huh? Wait... You're just a bug!
A pretty damn big one, too! Now beat it before I use my gigantic mandables to tear your bollocks off!
You shouldn't say "bollocks" in front of 3rd graders!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Wow! You can kick really high! Do it again!
Hiyah!
Wow, that's so neat! Do it again!
Hiyah!
Again! Again!
I know he's just doing it to see my panties, but it's just so nice to be appreciated for a change!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Finally finished staining this new bench... now I can go and get some rest...
Damn fumes... I forgot where I live!

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Wow... Just look at this beautiful countryside!
I am in absolute awe over the wonders of nature's majesty!
This would be an EXCELLENT place for a "Starbuck's"

 

by Boritom
6-14-05
Sucky sucky fih dollah!
Boobies
RAWR! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock!
It doubles as a Can Opener!
Fuck that Chess shit! I wanna play Chutes and Ladders!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
I put a live cow in my pants, once...
Yup...
A whole, live cow... In my pants...
Thaw me out already, fucktard!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
Heya, Baby! Wanna get fa-reaky with a ca-reepy zombie?
Sure why not!
...
What's wrong?
Nobody ever said "Yes" before... I completely forgot what to do next!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
So... you came down in this spaceship and abducted me... Now what?
Are you just gonna sit there like an asshole and ignore me?
How long before this ignorant twat realizes she's talking to a fucking snowman?
I mean... Come on, I don't have all day!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
OH FUCK! TORBOR IS AT MERCY OF LORD CTHULHU!
Chill out, pal... I just came down to sightsee and relax a little.
OH... OKAY... TOBOR RELIEVED HE NOT GOING TO BECOME UNDEAD SLAVE IN SEVENTH LEVEL OF HELL.
There ya go... See, nothing to be afraid of. I have no intention of hurting you!
RAAARRR!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW.
Good luck, fuckhead!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
So, what got you?
Car bomb... and you?
Stupid roadrunner!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
En Panda creemos que su opinin es fundamental para continuar adaptando nuestros productos y servicios a sus necesidades.
What did you say?
En Panda creemos que su opinin es fundamental para continuar adaptando nuestros productos y servicios a sus necesidades.
Uhhh... Right....
En Panda creemos que su opinin es fundamental para continuar adaptando nuestros productos y servicios a sus necesidades.
TAXI !!!!!!!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
Los parecer mi mono del ayudante me dieron el VIH
No debo haber tenido sexo con él, sino que he estado en un sillón de ruedas por meses desde que vagué hacia fuera en tráfico en un estupor después de mirar cheerleading atractivo.
¿Me pregunto si sale el VIH apenas? ¿Debo apenas tomar quizá más vitamina C o algo?
I should just shoot you in the fucking face right now!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
...Now I made this fucking thing from scratch, with my OWN TWO HANDS, so I EXPECT you little fuckers to show some enthusiasm, OKAY?
O-KAY?!?
...okay...?

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
Damn!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
A dingo?
Yup
You're sure?
Yup
Fuuuuhhhck!
Yup!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
So today I took the AP Calculus AB test. I'm a junior so if I failed I can just retake it next year but I think I got a 3 or a 4 so I doubt I'll be taking it again.
Take up smoking and you can say good bye to any athetlic ambitions you have. I won't hate you for it or anything but I would high recommend that you NOT start smoking.
I could look into it, that was ten years ago and I was 7 so I really didn't pay much attention
why does someone smoke anyway? i cannot think of any useful reason at all. if you happen to be in a tropical jungle somewhere and there are a ton of mosquitoes then i might...
Some guy ran into my rear
If i were to start smoking it would be b/c of people like you
sorry I couldn't talk last night, but American Idol is more important than you.

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
Finally went to church again today, that was good. My friend S has started a new 20something bible study group so I'll be glad to start making church friends.
Saturday night was a BLAST. I love love LUV having friends over. It just makes me so happy.
And that's all I have to say right now.
Could I bring my dog to your horse ranch sometime? She could really use the exercise and would enjoy running with the horses.

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
Excuse me... can you tell me which classroom my grandson is in?
Well, maybe I can, Lass... What would be the lad's name, now?
Wee Cocky Fucktard.
Eh?
Well, that's what I call the smarmy little asshole.
Ah, yes... Billy Robinson... He's in Mrs. Grafton's 4th grade class, room 248.

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
So did you call Veronica?
Yup
And is she coming to pick us up?
Yup
And is she bringing my pants?
Fuck no! I wanna watch you try to talk your way out of this shit!

 

by Boritom
6-15-05
SO... SUKI... HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
Uhhh.... Fine...
YOUR HAIR LOOKS VERY NICE!
Uhhh... Thanks!
SUKI... CAN I PLEASE CORNHOLE YOU NOW?
You're already into me for fi dollah from last week!

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
So...
*tsk*
Just how long have you been half-a-cow?

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
You know...
Smoking will drastically shorten your lifespan!
I'm extinct, you stupid cunt!
So will calling me a "cunt," shitsucker!

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
Well, thanks, Ma! Now we're both screwed!
I'm sorry, Jimmy...
How was I supposed to know the stupid cop was really a faggot!

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
So, I sez to the guy, "You know, you'll never be able to balance the differential without calibrating the diagnostic equipment first..."
Of course, the douchebag doesn't listen to me, and the next thing you know, he's stuck out on I-70 with his flashers on, calling for a tow truck...
...so he gets back to the shop, we go over the whole thing again, but this time, I make sure he runs the calibrator first...
It was either him, or me, and I'm too much of a pussy!

Showing page 11.

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