All comics by Gryffalio

Profile

 

by Gryffalio
2-02-08
Oh quite a few actually... he always settles out of court too
kaching!
where are we going?
To Gryff's home...

 

by Gryffalio
2-02-08
Are you sure Gryff lives here?
Yeah, just through that door... i'll go first and makesure he doesn't have an weapons... you come in in 5 minutes, ok?
Five Minutes Later
er excuse me? anybody here?!
... shit
Why welcome to my humble abode mr. wimpsy gayboy goody two shoes. What may I do for you today... that involves pain?

 

by Gryffalio
2-02-08
The problem is...
Right now we have this one... which is 20 minutes walk from the uni
but I wanna go to town at night and I aint walking 20 mins
I'm lazy
Or this one... which is 10 minutes walk from the bus stop in the golden triangle
but I wanna be able to get to uni in decent time...
Okay, now... we have a problem. It is that you want to be at one side of the city in good time, and also at the other side of the city also in good time... do you follow?
Do some... magic... or something.

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Week One
arrgh! SHIT FIRE
FIIIRE OMG!!!
FIIIIRE RUUNN!

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Week Three
FFS
FIIRE EVERYONE GET UP
F F S >=[

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Week Eight
Fuck off, seriously.
*grumble*
Must... Kill... Whoever... Set Off... Alarm o_0

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Week 14
Okay i'll give it 2 minutes
Let's just sit in the hallway, it's cold outside and we can't hear the alarm in the hallway
DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!
erm... why are you humping the fire alarm?
SO IT WILL SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'VE RUN OUT OF WEAPONS TO USE ON IT!!!!!!!

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Week 20
Thank God for earplugs.
THE END

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
As Usual I write something, but it won't last long, believe me
right, add in the base-spazzy-bit here....
add in a bit here....
And there we go finished product. Right I could actually record that.

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
One Night...
adn tehn that bit - wait! that soudns rong argh! *delete*
Next Morning
NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Hey mate! Long time no see
Hey, who are you again?
Haha! nice one. Yeah but anyway, where you been? I haven't seen you since like... August
Yeah... erm... I told you I was going on holiday...
For 5 months?
Yeah then there was Uni...

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Wait... You're at Uni?!
Yeah...
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, we met twice in a pub. Each time I was pissed brainless and half of our funny ideas included traffic cones and mugging Ricky Wilson and forcing him to write music for us...
Yeah! I thought we were best mates!
I don't even know your name

 

by Gryffalio
2-03-08
Well I know yours!
It's.... Mate.
Oh shit look at the time, I gotta go get an MOT for my pet crocodile because it was... stolen by gypsies.... cya o/

 

by Gryffalio
2-04-08
Dad you look so pale..!
I know Jimmy, I don't think I have long to live
But dad you're so young
Oh nonsense, I've seen it all and done it all... I only wish there was one thing I had done...
I'm a virgin, Jimmy.

 

by Gryffalio
2-04-08
mom... you're so pale..!
I know son... I don't think I have long to live
but mom, you're so young
Oh nonsense... i've seen it all and done it all... I only wish there was one thing I had done...
I'm a virgin, son.

 

by Gryffalio
3-03-08
Medieval History Seminars
Right now just write about what i've dictated in class and you'll be fine. But I expect a couple of footnotes
Early Modern History Seminars
Right I expect you to use some footnotes to prove you haven't just written bog-standard guessing
"Doing History" Seminars
Right I expect you to create a 5-minute presentation each week, I want you to read THOROUGHLY through the subject of the week and I want you to do your essay to the HIGHEST standard!

 

by Gryffalio
3-03-08
ex-Oxbridge professors
Do I make myself clear?
umm... sir how are we meant to put so much effort in every week when we're meant to be working for our essays at the moment?
What you gonna do?
You're at university! you should be spending 10 hours a day at least on work
RIGHT everybody, get out your presentations.... "Why things happen"
I thought... but... that's philosophy, not history, surely

 

by Gryffalio
3-26-08
That's your belly?
Yeah.. I'm not drinking much and working out atm, it's my thin period
Usually have a belly though, I go through a different period every month
*ahem*
what?

 

by Gryffalio
3-26-08
You have periods? Wait... I thought you were... nevermind
d'oh
I must be gay, then.

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
excuse me sir, is this your cat?
what? no... why?
It was clinging to, and mooning, a Speed-camera... that's a criminal offence...
Yeah, well I have more pressing things to do, like aiding somebodies journey to the land of my father
bloody hippies

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
Does Boris Johnson seem familiar?
W-Well Bo-er-Dan, I think it is of the most PHENOMENAL importance that we..er.. cut down on um, the scourge of minor crime!
My fellow Americans, as of today we, er, have decided that it is of the most intraflugic ultraimportance that we make a new war of karizakistan!

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
How did it come to this?
After years of waiting for a place on the front bench!
Only for my time to be cut short Gordon Brown's bombing-policies

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
The doc said it'd only cost £300
Look... Rachel... I don't think this is a very god idea
Ah you worry too much. Tommorow i'll wake up with decent sized boobs
But the place is a morgue, there are dead bodies everywhere...
That's why it's so cheap... I get the implants from my day job, don't worry I do autopsies every day... this is a piece of cake!
See, it's absolutely fine! I'll see you in a few hours

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
hmm I wonder how long I wait?
Give it an hour?
I wonder if I should call the police?

 

Who's laughing now, bitch?!
by Gryffalio, 5-06-08

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
mmmm i'd love to have him in bed
So anyway, welcome to my place. Sorry we dont have any spare beds but my dad's visiting from abroad, you can have the bed.
I said that out loud didn't I?
Sharing the bed... that could work too...

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
Watch as I, the ultra evil GoCi Monster make a comeback to this comic by giving people crabs!
Quickly, jump onto the seat and wait for Gryff or one of the viking-fools to come along! Then let them have it!
idiot

 

by Gryffalio
5-06-08
Uugh why am I still stuck with Clark? Sometimes I really lose faith
yeah me too
uh-what?
I mean blue with that complexion... honestly!
The Church of England is really fucking weird these days

 

by Gryffalio
5-07-08
George W Bush has been re-elected as president of the U.S.
Nobodies quite sure how it happened... one moment is was McCain vs two no-hopers, next moment Bush was being sworn in
Fucking hell, i'm never gonna get a holiday

 

by Gryffalio
5-07-08
The Extinction of the Dinosaurs Revealed!
So long, Tricera-bitch!

 

by Gryffalio
5-07-08
Ah, yes. The humble British "chav"
But if you don't open the door, I can't stab you
thats the idea
A colloquial term for a young hooligan
Please? i'm only one stabbing off becoming "grand-master-chav"
oh, alright then.
And the gun-wielding Yank
You feeling lucky, chav?

 

by Gryffalio
5-07-08
Could you point him out in a lineout, madam?
I... I t-think so...
The sicko-bunny.. the waving cigarette
Strange pirate guy... or the streaker?

 

by Gryffalio
5-07-08
I think it's number 4... In fact i'm certain it is!
right mr.stinkybutt, the games up!
hmm? what?
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP! I'M NOT STINKYBUTT! NOOOOOOO!

 

by Gryffalio
5-07-08
She is soo fine i'm gonna nail her by the end of tonight, I swear!
AAAARGH!
she's the one... so strong... I never saw a girl who could pick me up and dump me in the trash before!

 

by Gryffalio
5-09-08
With three and a half hours to his exam, Gryff has a genius plan...
mwuhahaha!
Ah, good job evil psychotic guy... now quickly, go disable the army base's communications!
Now nobody can make me do that exam! heehahahaa

 

by Gryffalio
5-09-08
Sire, I have a solution to your crucifixion problem...
Is it another plunger?
... maybe
Your fired

 

by Gryffalio
5-09-08
Sire I have a solution to your Sauron problem
Ah, very good, what is it?
A plunger, sire!
A what? what does it do?
It unclogs narrow crevaces, sire!
... You're fired

 

by Gryffalio
5-09-08
Der Bauernkrieg, 1525
Sire, I have devised a new weapon against the revolting peasants!
sehr gut, was ist das?
A plunger, sire!
Ein Kolben? Wie wird das Stoppen des Bauern?!
Well... We can block their toilets... until they surrender because of the stench!
Du bist gefeuert.

 

by Gryffalio
5-09-08
London, 1530
Sire, I have a solution to your divorce of Katherine of Aragon!
Excellent, what is it?
London, 1530
A plunger sire, to unblock small crevaces
Ah, and I should beat her over the head with it, ey? Splendid idea! Except that it'll start war with Spain...
London, 1530
No, sire, you should flush her down the toilet
You're fired... off with his head!

 

by Gryffalio
5-09-08
London, 1775
Sire, I have a solution to your smelly-peasant problem in the Americas!
Excellent young man, and what is it, pray tell?
A plunger, sire!
A plunger?
Yes, I propose we find a deep crevace in America and use the plunger to move the Atlantic to America
I say old boy, get out, you're fired.

 

by Gryffalio
5-19-08
Marquis de Launay, sir, I have a solution to your angry-smelly-peasant problem!
Ah very good mon ami! zo vat iz eet?
A plunger, sir! We can bury the prisoners in toilets and after the peasants leave we'll plunger them out of the toilets!
un plongeur?
yes, sir! we'll say we turned the Bastille into affordable flats and then they'll leave, and we get the prisoners out again
Vous idiot diable! vous avez tiré

 

by Gryffalio
7-23-08
Frankfurt Pariliament 1848
von Gagern, I have a solution to your Schleswig problem
jawohl! Lassen Sie mich hören, Ihre Idee zu verwirklichen
A plunger, von Gagern!
ein Kolben?
Excuse the German.
yes, we share our wonderful invention with the Danish in exchange for Schleswig!
Schaise! Das ist ein erschreckende Vorstellung. Ich wusste, ich solle haben sich die Steimernes Haus

 

by Gryffalio
7-23-08
Berlin, 1890
Bismarck, I have a solution to your Kaiser-problems!
Good. vot is it?
A plunger, sir!
ja. But vot am I to do mit das?
I heard a rumour, it was first invented for relieving cows of constipation... maybe that's what's wrong with the Kaiser
... Du bist gefeurt, das ist de most stupid idea I haf ever heard!

 

by Gryffalio
7-24-08
Rastenburg, July 20th 1944
von Staufenberg, I have a solution to your evil-fuhrer problems
hmm, what is it?
A plunger, with explosives strapped to it, use it to blow him up!
Aha, excellent! I shall put it in my briefcase and leave it under his table!
... you mean you like my plan?
yeah, you never had a successful plan before?

 

by Gryffalio
7-24-08
Gordon Brown's Lair, 2008
"Prime Minister", I have a solution to your refusal to spend adequate amounts of the armed forces
Ah, very good, uh, what is it?
A plunger you squad Scottish spendthrift.
Excellent! much better than those water-pistols they're currently armed with,
They're not expensive, are they? I've already bought bread and Tesco-value beans this week, you know?

 

by Gryffalio
7-24-08
I left the house for TEN minutes...
What happened?
we he and haf on the to me big!
I think i'd have a better chance of getting sense out of a Jihadi terrorist.
ooh booze!

 

by Gryffalio
7-27-08
'Television Studio'
Conspiracy Theories are WRONG! Man landed on the moon.
The reason there are shadows is because the moon is so bright it creates a second source of light!
(Really Gryff's basement)
The hollow moon theory is wrong, every seismic reading since the first points to a core.
Not to a spaceship, not to a void.
moreover-
shut it you, you're divulging our secret base location.

 

by Gryffalio
7-27-08
*THUD*
*BANG*
hmm, this place seems familiar... wonder where I-
Damn

 

by Gryffalio
7-27-08
look-
Ah Gryff! Come here my friend, I have a new spikey anal probe!
look-
But then, you always escape, don't you? Somehow you bargain for your life - as worthless as it is.
Ah so it should be cheap then? :P look-
So here's the deal, as they say, I hate those damned Moonmen, go get their powercore, get your revenge, give me the powercore, and live!

 

by Gryffalio
7-27-08
I hate reincarnation so much
Satan's getting awefully vain, I was going to suggest that deal if he'd let me get a word in edgeways... he lost out on a haggle there...
Oh shit I can see where he's putting me

Showing page 11.

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