All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-24-17
I vow I'm no witch, me lord!
I'll be the judge of THAT! You must pass the "Witch Trials".
Which trials?
The trials that witches must....hey...are you mocking me, Hag Hilda?
No...I'm hexing you!
Stop! Dismount that broom, Hilda! Ye must yet submit to my trials!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-24-17
...there was a bookjacket photoshoot!
You're gonna pay me for this, right?
The writer will...now hold still!
*CLICK*.....OK, that's it! Hopefully your dollar will be mailed to you.
Can't this "Mario Puzo" guy afford more than a stinkin buck?
Only if some suckers buy his book!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-25-17
*ZZZZZZZZZZ*
What the hell Ted...WAKE UP!
Ugh...oh, sorry boss. I musta dozed off.
I'm not paying you to sleep in here. What do you think this is, anyway?
Well it is a "Bored" room, right?
You're FIRED, wise ass!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-25-17
With ragu4u & makin_d_bacon.......
Yo ragu4u...get in here. TCM is doing an "Old Yeller" marathon!
Say it ain't so, d_bacon! Wah, awah wah wah, blubber wah awah blubber.....
...WAH AWAAHHH AWAAAHH...
Hehehe...poor bastard falls for it every time!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-26-17
The Spacewalker has reported that "problem" again skipper!
No way! He trained for this type of thing.
Shall I have him reboard the ship?
Have him report to me on the Bridge. This can't keep happening.
This is your 2nd strike Mister. Shit the suit again and you're busted to private.
Hey pal...try being in here with ME! It's no picnic!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-26-17
There...I'm...just...about...across...to the other side Wait...
Hey Pops, why did you just blow thru the clouds a second ago?
It was time. It's ...
...what I do!
...I think the wind is...whoa...aiyeeeeee...

 

"Game over, man!"
by Makin_d_bacon, 2-27-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-27-17
At the 2017 Oscars
And the winner for best picture is......."La La Land"!
Honky ass, cracker mutha fuckas! No justice, no peace! Black movies matter so we gonna burn this bitch down. You feel us?
Oh wait! There was a slight mistake. "Moonlight" is the real winner! Come up and receive your Oscar!
You goddamn right, bitches!
Praise Jesus to have blessed our humble team by affording us this wonderful prize that shows the immense acceptance of a diversified body of The Academy!
So should I pull the pin on dis mutha or not?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-27-17
Oops....my sandal is unlaced!
There! Nice n tight!
...but as luck would have it.....
I'll just BET it IS! That's an invite if ever I heard one!
I sure hope my dick isn't bigger than his?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-27-17
The name's Rico...Rico Salvatore Rizzo! And you?
My name's Joe Buck & I'm one hell of a stud!
What say we get down on our knees right now, Joe Buck?
I sure as hell don't know nuthin bout that Mr. O'diddleberg!
Somewhere in Florida
Remember Ratzo..."Orange juice on ice, is nice..."
"...orange juice on the ice..."! And it's Rico...Rico I tell ya, ya great big dumb cowboy you!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
2-28-17
Interview with Denzel Washington....
Denzel, why do you think you lost the Best Actor Oscar to Casey Affleck?
You'd have to ask the members of the Academy THAT question!
At The Academy of the Arts & Sciences
They're gathering to meet you in the boardroom right now, sir.
Now I'll get to the bottom of this!
Think we oughta lose the robes?
Couldn't hurt!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-01-17
The State of the Union Address 2017...
blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah...
blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah...HEY!
Wolf...did YOU just throw that shoe?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-01-17
So why are you here again?
You need to be circumcised!
What the heck does THAT mean?
Just lay down and remove your pants.
Believe me! I'm a Rabbi. Boys at 12 years of age must have this done to remain pure.
Maybe in that kinky Jew world of yours but this kid's a good old Satan worshiper.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-02-17
On Mt. Olympus with the God, MARS...
So, Rhea Silvia is knocked up again with TWINS this time!
That means, at least, I ain't shootin blanks. In honor of that fact methinks I'll have em name some great city.
Hey Romulus, dad IS a God right? So it shouldn't take YOU this darned long to build a stinkin city!
Patience my dear Remus. Rome isn't built in a day!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-03-17
Thur. 03/02/17 7:30am
"Hello Mr. ragu4u! We at "Charter Spectrum" would like you to rate us as your internet provider."
Oh you would...would you?
7:32am
Please take a moment to answer a few brief questions.
Brief? I'll bet!
8am Thur. 03/03/53
...and finally...
It's about frikken time!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-04-17
The Prez & the Ex-Prez............
Listen Stymie, you're OUT and I'm IN! Got it?
Stymie? STYMIE, you say?
Oh...you prefer Satchmo? Razmus, maybe? How's about Step-n-fetch-it?
I refuse to be spoken to in that racist fashion.
In the Obama residence.....
Hello Michelle, I'm home from meeting that troll Trump.
Can it, you worthless, out of work, son of a bastard share cropping, porch monkey!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-04-17
So you wanna join the Army, eh Anders? But why?
Yup! Anders wanna bear arms!
Arms, huh? Sorry pal. We don't dish out them kinda arms. Send in the next guy!
Nuts!
I said NO, and that's final! Besides you do have ONE left!
But the Constitution says I got the right!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-04-17
Confucius say...
"Asians are...
only as...
...strong as...
...their weakest....
...Chink!"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-05-17
Mail Hairy, gull of frace, the Word is lith thee. Thessed art blough among women and thessed is bloom of sigh thun, Jesus!
What the hell are you talkin bout, Father Joe?
Ask Namgubed! He got me started on this kick!
OK, I'll ask him but I think he's bathing right now with his "Pub Teeple"!
"Dear Namgubed, Now look at the shit you've started!"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-05-17
So select the hour, date and location & my time machine will transport you there and back in minutes.
Cool Beans! I'll hop in now. Let's do it!
Then, after only 5 short minutes....
Hey Professor...what date did I tell you to set this for?
Hiroshima, 8:30am on Aug. 6th, 1945! Why?
I said the 5th, NOT the 6th!
I thought that seemed odd! Don't fret...you'll be dead in a few minutes anyway!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-05-17
So...
What'dya think? Was it as good for YOU...
... as it was for ME?
Meh!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-06-17
Say, aren't you John Wick?
Yup! Ain't YOU Tyler Durden?
Loved your first film!
Thanks but "Fight Club" was truly awesome itself.
Well I gotta go. Ballet class starts in 15 minutes.
I understand, bro. I better get movin too or I'll never finish the quilt I'm making.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-07-17
Wait! You wanna report WHAT?
A bunch of missing persons!
Their names?
Four_Legged_Tripod, RCGL, Kaufman, Evil_D, TheGovernor, umfumdisi, and I'm just warming up!
These are those comic maker dudes, right?
Alas, not for quite some time, I'm afraid!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-07-17
Mr. Trendy, I need a word with you in my office!
I told you before...teachers here must dress accordingly!
What's wrong NOW? I put on a damn tie, didn't I?
Not good enough! Besides you're fired for constantly doing that "tongue" thing!
Really? No offense, but it makes your wife & daughter cum buckets full.

 

...taking a "Selfie"!
by Makin_d_bacon, 3-07-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-08-17
Here comes Neil, your butt buddy!
Stop it. He isn't like THAT!
Earlier.....
Now hold still, pal....
Be gentle!
Then what the hell WAS he doing anyway?
You ever try to give YOURSELF an enima? I didn't think so.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-08-17
"Hands UP! Don't shoot!"
I said...."Hands Up! Don't shoot, Cracker!"
God I hate Ferguson, Missouri!
"No justice, no peas?"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-08-17
Nice hair!
Are you fuckin with me?
It could be arranged!
Then follow me home!
But things seemed to change.....
Where's Spankling?
We call it "Bait n Switch"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-09-17
What now?
The gentleman at table 7 has a complaint! He said there was a fly in his soup.
Yeah, right! I'll believe it when I see it!
That can be arranged. I'll retrieve it for you!
Moments later....
He'll probably want his money back. How much can a fly eat, anyway?
More than you'd think, buster!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-10-17
ALunch Visits Chez ragu_d_bacon....
Damn...I think RCLG has finally lost it!
Yup...his last 8 comics have been about farts & poop! How immature!
Like these two got any room to talk?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-10-17
So what happened to you this time?
It began like this....
C'mon RCLG, open up. We need to talk.
What about?
About the poor quality & maturity level of your latest comics. Hello? HELLO-O? Oh, oh!
Why you lame ass.....

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-10-17
Methinks we best lighten up on old RCLG!
Methinks YOU-thinks rightly fine sir!
We wouldn't want to become labeled as antagonisitic bigots or anti-diversivication zealots, now would we?
Absolutely NOT! Labels SUCK...
I'm glad you agree!
...even tho that's kinda who we really are!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-10-17
Believe me, America...I'm going to bring back all the great coal mining jobs and...
...and they'll all have the benefit of "cutting edge" safety technologies...
But reality was a bit different!
What stinks?
Listen men, it works like this. If the canary dies; you, most probably, will too.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-11-17
Don't forget...tonight we reset the clocks, d_bacon!
Which way, rags? Forward or backward?
It depends. If you want to be 2 hours early for church set it back an hour.
Huh?
OR...if you only want to be an hour late for church set it ahead 2 hours!
I think I'll just skip church this week!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-11-17
And who are YOU, exactly?
I am CLANGO...your replacement! Clock out, loser!
What will I say to Hiromi when she finds out a "trash-can" replaced me?
Say wha...?
So when he heard you say THAT he kicked your ass, right?
NO WAY...but he DID tie my shoelaces together!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-11-17
Hey d_bacon, I just read Lunch's last comic!
Big deal!
But you don't understand. It's Yuge!
Oh? You mean.....we've got a new plaything?
Yup, and her name is Meghan. Bwahahahahaha
I'll gather our diguises!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-12-17
Can you come in here, Punkin, and help Mama with the dishes?
Geez Martha...that's cruel!
Cruel? But why?
You know she's not very dexterous. Shhh, here she comes!
Nevermind Punkin. Papa insists on babying you forever!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-13-17
The Lord Responds to World Hunger...
Not again?
I'm afraid so. You better respond.
The usual?
Yup...the usual!
...but mankind is ungrateful....
THIS crap AGAIN? Ever hear of..."Variety is the spice of life"?
Chill out, dude! Yer gonna piss the big guy off! Kool-ade & muffins ain't so bad.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-13-17
Hey d_bacon, what the hell were ya screaming about last night?
It was horrible, rags. I dreamed I died and went to the after-life.
...and then I'm gonna eat your liver with eggs, sunny side up and a nice glass of O.J. *fffft ffft ffft ffft*
Huh...?
So he said that he was gonna have ya over for dinner, huh? That don't sound scary!
I wasn't on the "guest list". I was on the "menu"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-13-17
Not again?
I told you guys this would happen! It comes wit the territory
Just leave this to ME!
What the...? Fugedaboudit!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-13-17
C'mon open up. We hear you in there!
Shhh...it's a couple of them Jehovah Witnesses! Put on the outfit.
I think they're opening up.
Just look at em him run!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-14-17
You're place or mine?
So you think I'm gay, huh?
You mean you're NOT?
I'm as hetero as they come. In fact I'm here for that new "Virility Enhancement Technique". What ever would give you the impression I'm GAY?
Uh....those two fellas you were sucking off on the couch a minute ago.
Those were my Doctors. So you've never heard of "Sperm Siphoning" I take it?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-14-17
I understand you're making a film about Michael Brown from Ferguson, Missouri.
True dat! The "MAN" done him wrong.
But some say "Big Mike" was nothing but a THUG!
I knows dat! I'm just stirring up shit to make some bucks and get my ass famous.
So you don't care anything about truth or the facts?
Hell no! You CNN dudes should already know dat cuz you be rollin the same way too.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-14-17
Alright sir, look at the slide behind you and tell me what you see!
"Supper"
Just as I feared!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-15-17
I tell ya mother, all them queers & trannys are screwin this world up!
Now Rube, just calm yerself down.
And they're startin to git my goat! It's true!
Don't be silly. You're over reacting!
But later, in the barnyard.....
Hey there sailor! Suck a dick?
Damnit Toothgnip, knock that shit off!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-15-17
He-ro! It's girl scout egg-roll time!
You gotta be friggin kiddin me!
Onry ten dolla a box. How many you want?
Beat it & never come back, ya little Asian pirate!
You gonna be sorry cheapskate. The "Yakuza Egg-Roll Company" will have it's revenge!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-16-17
President Trump, where have you put all the Obama family mementos?
Filed, where they belong!
You mean...?
Absolutely!
In the Presidential Rest-Room.......
Who the hell keeps flushing all these Motown 45's down the crapper?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-17-17
C'mon rags...you've been trying to hack her password for over an hour!
I must continue, d_bacon! Never say die!
Have you tried 1-2-3-4-5-6, yet?
1-2-3-4-5-6? That's stupid. Only a complete MORON would use that for a password. I mean a total Dufuss with a capital "D"!
So later, back at home.....
"To change password, please enter 'OLD password'!"
1-2-3-4-5-6

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-18-17
Say...ain't you Alec Baldwin?
Absolutely NOT! I'm the President of the United States...Donald Trump.
Really?
REALLY!
Damnit...and here I was hoping to meet a celebrity!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
3-18-17
I say there, my dear Maura...
I'm busy! What?
I definitely asked for you to pass me the "Poupon"....
*oomph plop*
NOT poop on the pass.
Whatever!

Showing page 11.

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