All comics by NeoVid

Profile

 

by NeoVid
9-09-08
I really liked that little guy we met yesterday.
That reminds me, he told me he was really offended about you calling him "Shorty."
I had no idea. I'll make sure it never happens again.
Next time we see him, make sure I tell him he needs to get taller.

 

by NeoVid
9-12-08
See, after all your bad luck with relationships, all you needed was to find the right woman!
Yeah, you're right about that.
And someday, I will find her!

 

by NeoVid
9-12-08
When you tell the Fate expert how your friend has been cursed, he looks at her with Fate sight. His reaction is "AHHH!! AHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHH!! AHHHHHHGGHH!!
Hey, are you playing Call of Cthulhu up there?

 

by NeoVid
9-16-08
The view from my family's house is awesome, even though it's of Oakland. Anything looks good if you get far enough away from it.
Really? I have to test that.
I hate you so much right now.

 

by NeoVid
9-25-08
Houston, come in. We've got trouble. Air pressure in the cabin has been increasing for hours, and we can't figure out how to stop-
I told you we shouldn't have given the astronauts Mexican food.
Damn.

 

I really liked this restaraunt. They were telling the truth with their slogan, "We put the fun in eating out."
You know, I once saw a whorehouse with the same slogan.
by NeoVid, 10-02-08

 

by NeoVid
10-15-08
I'm free! I'm finally free!! Haahaaahaaaa!!
Where'd Evil get to?
I haven't seen him since he said he saw daylight and ran off.
Yeah, and remember he was hallucinating about floating red robot heads before that.
I hate this goddamn cave.

 

by NeoVid
10-29-08
As soon as I saw the portions here, I had to say, "Wow, this is really small!"
That's what she said.
No, it wasn't.
Don't want to hear it....

 

by NeoVid
10-29-08
It's still hard to believe you're biracial.
You can just ask Liz.
It's true. He's definitely part black.
...Well, either part black or part horse.
I hate you two so much right now.

 

by NeoVid
11-05-08
I just realized this will be my first year I'll have a Christmas list. I never had a need for one before.
...Well, except to keep track of how disappointed I should be.

 

by NeoVid
12-10-08
Man, the servers in this game have freaky lag problems.
I can see that one guy's indicator, his weapon and items, but his body is completely transparent!
Hey, everyone.... Louis is invisible to me.
Racist.

 

by NeoVid
12-10-08
You should cut your hair before you end up looking like Cousin It.
I plan never to cut my hair short again.
See, when I got serious about being a Buddhist last year, I shaved my head.
Then I found out that when people on the bus in Oakland see a little white guy with a shaved head, they don't think "Buddhist."

 

by NeoVid
1-06-09
A conservative
I support liberal military spending, liberal tax cuts, liberal corporate regulation, and liberal wilderness development.
A liberal
I support conservative government spending, conservative use of natural resources, conservative individual consumption, and environmental conservation.

 

by NeoVid
1-06-09
Well, I'm glad 2008 is finally over!
Yeah, 2009 will be a huge improvement with the Second Great Depression, 20% unemployment, and, if we're really lucky, the world ending.
But there are so many good things to look forward to, if things go right!
Yeah? Give me one example.
Like Obama being assassinated, so we can have President Biden sooner!
...Seriously, get help.

 

by NeoVid
1-30-09
I wish to donate five million dollars in cash to your orphanage.
What!? That's impossible! This is some sort of trick.
No trick. I have more money than I can ever use. Of course, if you don't want the kids to have five million dollars to live on...
Get out, evil fiend!
Heh heh heh... Ah, I never get tired of that one. Guess now I have to drop this cash in the middle of a homeless camp and then light it on fire.

 

Are you gullible? Click here for a free test!
by NeoVid, 2-05-09

 

by NeoVid
2-08-09
Excuse me, where can I find your mouthwash?
On rack behind you, next to the condoms.
Oh, good, condoms! Now I won't need to wash my mouth out!

 

by NeoVid
2-16-09
Here, try one of these sandwiches I just made!
Wow, this is really good. What's in it? Wait...
It had some peanut butter on it, right? I'm really, really allergic to peanuts. Seriously, call 911 right now.
But hey, so long as I have to go to the hospital anyway...

 

Fun fact: Most fun facts are neither facts nor fun.
by NeoVid, 6-25-09

 

by NeoVid
7-21-09
His secondhand smoke has been known to drop bystanders on the spot. He once got lung cancer, but lung cancer won't talk about what happened.
In a fight between Chuck Norris and God, he won. God now goes to him for advice.
He's drunk 90% of the time, and getting laid 100%. He'd never tell you that he's better than you, even though he is.
I don't always drink beer, and when I do, it's mixed with Everclear. But when I want a pansy drink, I drink Tres Equis.

 

by NeoVid
7-30-09
Last week I met the man of my dreams. He's right over there.
Yo.
...You seriously need to get some better dreams.

 

by NeoVid
8-19-09
Ah, my old nemesis. I have you imprisoned once again.
You can't keep me in here forever!
Quite right. You'll be glad to know that I've changed my plan to have you shot in the morning.
Really? Why?
Simply because I've decided immediate incineration will make you less of a problem.

 

by NeoVid
9-18-09
Nice, my favorite online game just gave a free unique item to everyone who asked for one fast enough!
Too bad my girlfriend called for me to help with the dishes at the same time, and I came back 20 minutes late for the offer.
But I'm not annoyed. Not annoyed at all.

 

by NeoVid
9-28-09
So you're getting your new character a Retainer? Having a servant with the abilities of a totally average human costs two points-
I spent one point on mine.
...Wow. I can just imagine when we meet him in character.
Why did we even hire this guy?
Me... was only... one point...

 

by NeoVid
10-15-09
I've got an addictive tendency. I always had to make sure I never got too obsessed with anything.
From the stories you told me, you still ended up a sex addict.
Maybe... but that's been over since I started seeing you.
Yeah. Good for you.

 

by NeoVid
10-23-09
You know, I just started wondering what a blind guy would call a blind date.
A date?

 

by NeoVid
11-16-09
Man, I hate it when I have to stop playing because of some jerk forcing me to go to admin mode.
Hey, RapeTrain, you have to change your name. That sort of thing isn't allowed on this server.
"321-RapeTrain" has changed name to "321-RapeMachine."

 

by NeoVid
12-05-09
You know, with how many bugs your games have, you really should download some patches.
I'm not sure if I can do that...
Why not?
My XBox 360 has some modifications, and Microsoft has some way to know if you ever go on Live with a modded system.
Yeah... "Microsoft: We can't make a system that works, but we can stop you from fixing it!"

 

by NeoVid
12-23-09
Why didn't you return any of my calls yesterday?
You know I don't like distractions. I was up all night doing art, and didn't want to stop for anything.
Sigh... I should have known what I was getting into when I started going out with a sculptor.
Good thing he doesn't know I'm having an affair with a guy named Art.

 

by NeoVid
12-30-09
My boss can be a real bitch, but atleast she has a nice ass...
I hear her pussy is the cat's meow...
Yeah, it's weird, but I've been thinking about that myself... wonder why I can't get her pussy out of my thoughts...
Excellent... the subliminal messages I'm broadcasting are working.

 

by NeoVid
1-25-10
In the unemployment line
I got laid off for no good reason. Why are you out of a job?
I have a severe psychological disorder that keeps me from working.
Jeez, get over it and act normal already.
In my case, I was paralyzed in an accident last year.
Jeez, get over it and walk already.

 

by NeoVid
3-30-10
Just let me keep napping, all right?
You're going to try and sleep through your whole period again?
Trust me, if you knew what I went through...
But I never will! Just thinking about that cheers me up, I can tell you-

 

by NeoVid
7-02-10
So, I lucked out on looking for mental health services, and I was able to get free medication for a month.
And it turned out the meds made a bigger difference than I ever would have imagined! Drugs are the answer!
...Goddammit, that means you've been right this whole time.
Huh? Sorry, I was totally not focusing there.

 

by NeoVid
11-04-12
So, if the Many Worlds theory is right, and everything that can happen, does, in some world...
That means everyone in existence must be the main character of a work of fiction in another parallel world.
...My readers probably think I'm being way too meta right now.

Showing page 12.

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