All comics by arbi

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by arbi
9-28-05
Last year was big for the institute for justice, what with interstate wine shipment and kelo v new london, the takings case.
IJ lost that case, but won the battle for public opinion, and it looks like the little old lady won't be thrown out into the street after all.
http://ballots.blogspot.com
This is the year of the James Madison center, with Wisconsin Right to Life v FEC and Sorrell, a case about banning campaigns from raising money.
The Madison Center represents the Libertarian Party of Vermont, and the ACLU is in it too.
But what really has people excited is this case about whether federal courts ever have jurisdiction over probate issues. Front page New York Times today. Why?
Anna Nicole Smith.

 

by arbi
9-28-05
So I spent Monday helping take down a historic old barn in New Albany, which we are going to restore on some land outside Bloomington.
After the crane would lift the beams down, we'd drill out the pegs and use sledgehammers and leverage to separate the tenons from the mortises.
meanwhile penny arcade told me about this librarian comic, www.unshelved.com so we've been reading that. me and the roaches.
Heavy, hard, dangerous work. Went fine.
Then today I'm in the kitchen making coffee and somehow I cut my ring finger, dripping blood into my dinner, and it hurts.
It seemed like the right sort of irony to make a comic from, but the timing was off or something.

 

Arbi, of course, is short for the arbitrary aardvark. I'm not sure i've told that story here, lately anyway. I was getting a new email account because hotmail sux. I figured I'd pick
pick something arbitrary like aardvark, but that was taken, and so were the next few things, so in frustration i tried arbitraryaardvark.
The cape and the mask came later. I'm an aardvark. I fight crime. This is my story.
by arbi, 9-29-05

 

by arbi
9-29-05
welcome to stark and snark, may i take your order?
One of the lesser known heros of the revolution is captain john stark. The websnark has been running a comic about him. www.websnark.com
Live free or die!
Currently Neil Randall, and the Vermont Libertarian Party, just had their case accepted by the Supreme Court. Go Neil!
years later, a man named Wooley, at great personal cost to himself, took a case to the supreme court and won, saying he didn't have to have "live free or die" on his license plate.
This helped establish the principle that the government cannot compel speech - this is what arbi fights about, the right to free speech on the internet.

 

by arbi
9-29-05
*twinkateria*
I have some wishes left. I'll grant each of you one superpower. What'll it be?
I'll take X-ray vision.
able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!
France?
if this were a real comic, there would be a second episode showing how these powers didn't work out as planned. but it's not. welcome to stripcreator. and my ramen is boiling over downstairs..
the power of cassandra, to sense impending doom and be helpless to stop it.
A keen sense of injustice and a nose for civil rights violations.

 

by arbi
10-01-05
cheney's angels.. dick's dicks... how about "pr0n squad?"
Fink!
Pete!
Stulie! All present and accounted for sir.
Very well. Henceforth, you three will be known as the pr0n squad. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go "undercover" and infiltrate this internet pron ring.
We picked you young folks because you're hip to the lingo, the latest buzzwords. You'll fit in and take 'em down. Savvy?
Groovy!

 

by arbi
10-01-05
http://www.stripcreator.com/forums/showthread.php?postnum=191775

 

by arbi
10-01-05
*pastoral orchestral music plays sweetly. then jaws theme. http://www.tehsoapbox.net/phpbb/ viewtopic.php?p=221370#221370
* godzilla not to scale. STOMP. credits roll. patrick stewart-like voiceover as obiwan. use the [force, forks, your head, etc.] bambi. scene where bambi thinks of mother, gathers energy.
foley artist noises of godzilla falling. more credits roll.
cootchie cootchie coo
tee hee. ooh ooh. heheh. NOOOOOoooo!!...(falling)

 

by arbi
10-01-05
did: cleaned bedroom. sorted clothes. got sink fixed, leak in basement. got bikes fixed. nice talk w female roommate. 125 pushups. hung out with a toddler. drank lots of coffee. wrote some letters.
did some bookkeeping. blogged, made webcomics, moved plant to a better window.
didn't: fix car. write memo. email madison. open irs letter. clean other house as planned. call ex (sent email tho) settle storage unit account. didn't evict asshole male roommate. didn't get coffee.
to do: outline memo. expand outline. get some decaf. call landlord. plan goals for week. cle hours. attend tax sale.

 

by arbi
10-02-05
if brad ever gets the button to not have comics show up on the main page, individually, i'll delist this set. meanwhile, to any of my newer readers, these aren't meant to be funny, it's just the ...
just the closest i get to a diary or day planner. Today I did not do anything on my lists. Instead I sayed up all night watching kurosawa's 7 samurai and part of yojimbo.
If you don't know kurusawa, think of these as the magnificent seven (john wayne) and for a few dollars more (clint eastwood) but in japanese.
http://freefall.purrsia.com
10 pushups, bought coffee and limes, killed ~100 roaches. read a geeky webcomic called freefall. gonna do a dumpster diving tutorial tonight.
e-mail from my ex. she did her own bankruptcy, because she was losing her house. still lost the house, but she got rid of all those student loans.
so she used the skills she learned in law school to get rid of the debt for the money she borrowed to go to law school.. there's some kind of deep irony there. part of what the loans were for was that
was that semester in london, where she met the guy she left me for.

 

by arbi
10-03-05
i went to a meeting today, where a deal was supposed to close for enough to cover a year's rent. the title company said the city was still owed $10,000 on it, so the deal didn't go thru.
this would seem to mean the city was lying when they pretended to sell me the property back 5 years ago.
i was planning to go to my club for drink tonight to celebrate, if i got my other chores done (which i didn't)
i have another meeting tomorrow, more tentative, which might be good for a month's rent.
update the next day: went to city hall, got it all straightened out, now just need to find a different title company and put the deal back together. plus i had a great time at the club.
now i'll go just to wallow in defeat. of the four bikes in the house, one is working, so i'll take that.

 

by arbi
10-03-05
she's from texas, has held office, run a big law firm, run the bar association. she's qualified.
if you're like me and get all your news from the comics, you might not have heard Bush named his lawyer to fill Justice O'Connor's seat on the court.
All snarking aside, we think she's a worthy successor to Sandy Day.
at 60, she's in good health, workaholic, reputation as a pit bull. no known skeletons - we're looking into it
Does this robe make my ass look fat?
it's her first gig as a judge, which actually is not a problem. will she hire shasha volokh though? we wait and see.
So far conservatives are upset, liberals are hoping for the best, or attacking her for cronyism. Her clients have included microsoft and disney.
What we find most amusing is she was in charge of the committee to find someone. He keeps falling for that.

 

by arbi
10-05-05
weapons of mouse destruction
weapons of moose destruction

 

weapon of mass destruction
by arbi, 10-05-05

 

by arbi
10-05-05
bull
no bull
apparently i'm not the only one who doesn't know what metathesis is, and why it won the award for chemistry today. stay tuned for the peace prize. the nominees are sadaam, osama, and "ras" putin.
I'd like to thank the academy, and all the little people.
you're welcome.

 

by arbi
10-08-05
It's a saturday night in milwaukee, and i'm watching bogart movies instead of leaving the house. In october, this is an option. From here on, it'll be because the snow's too thick. Supplies are low.
Morale is high. We aren't. Got a short nap, after all night on the bus. The spacebar sticks. Rice and beans for dinner was yummy, but will get old in a year or two. I'll need to learn more dishes.
In chicago behind the bus station i found a pentium3. It followed me home, can I keep it? The bus ticket was less than i spent on the taxi and at the bar on the way and the donut shop when i got here.
mew
I haven't done any work yet, but that's because i just got here and need sleep. Tomorrow I'll need a new excuse.
i didn't have much to say in this strip, but a fan complains if i don't make one a day.

 

by arbi
10-11-05
http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/ joyarchives/001_300/106.html
Behold a new H2O era! This incredible water cooler will be the hub of your amazing new digital lifestyle.
I really appreciate the attention to detail, especially the high refraction index of the classicly inspired glass bottle
featuring internet access, megawide screen, as well as a totally re-engineered architechture which includes a 133 psi bus to move water at speeds in excess of one cup per second
it was funnier the first time http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/ joyarchives/001_300/107.html ....
The titanium case sold me.

 

by arbi
10-11-05
http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech /joyarchives/318.html
Important note: Unfortunately, Apple Legal is again demanding we remove our Mac Genius t-shirts and Mac Genius Polo merchandise. We are currently in consultations (again) with our own lawyers, but in
the meantime, we continue to offer our fans our products. Please stand by, and thank you for your understanding, patience, and patronage. -Nitrozac and Snaggy

 

by arbi
10-11-05
what if a man and a dingo mated?
g'day. d1 to d7, check.
e8 to f8, ye wallaby
Expect the savage. The sensual. The shocking. The sad. The powerful. The shameful. Now you are ready for...
h1 to h8. that's mate, mate.

 

by arbi
10-13-05
apparently i just spent 5 hours writing a complaint. it's been a long time since i've done work, i forgot what it loked like.
yesterday i wrote, well, drafted, a letter, and did 210 pushups, and gleaned some cool stuff.
ok, i guess i didn't need three panels to say that in.
i didn't do the laundry or shower yet or plan dinner. so far the man likes my cooking.. milwaukee's working out ok.
maybe tomorrow i'll go thru my to do list, hit some of the hard ones, like the irs. maybe not.
have you seen that new submitted character, fishhand? creepy!

 

by arbi
10-15-05
7 days, 700 pushups. did the laundry, did some shopping. revised complaint. outlined a few motions. took out the trash, cleaned up after the cat. rode 14 miles.
watched a lot of tv
to do: go back to indiana. pack. cle hours.

 

by arbi
10-18-05
browsing the internet today, at hot or not, i saw a google ad for www.sushi-robot.com
true story!
robots and sushi!
what could possibly go wrong?

 

by arbi
10-18-05
This story is completely false and defamatory. Take it down or else. - Jack.
our story so far.. penny arcade has spent $10K on the charity of somebody's choice, after somebody made a violent videogame, after a challenge by jack.
so now everybody's getting snippy.
****This is an automated response**** Thank you for contacting Penny Arcade. I’m sorry but I am simply not able to respond to all my fan mail. I want you to know that I’m glad you enjoy the comic
comic strip and I appreciate you taking the time to mail me.

 

by arbi
10-18-05
Virtually every living creature hates Jack Thompson, professional scold and slavering ambulance chaser. Squirrels, policemen, sea captains, fruit bats, aeronautical engineers, milliners, zookeepers,
bakers, and pharaohs all hate Jack Thompson
arrr
mmm, cherry
http://www.thinkgeek.com/ pennyarcade/gamer/7a15/
them dang rotor turbines
zookeeper, pharaoh, whatever.

 

by arbi
10-19-05

 

by arbi
10-19-05
strange.. in milwaukee, i did 100 pushups a day, and very little blogging. here, lots of blogging, zero pushups. i made a to do list and did 1 1/2 things on it.
yesterday, well 7 am today right before bed, i emailed a realtor about one of my lots and she wrote back asking about another lot, and a guy called about the same lot. coincidence, or conspiracy?
and i called the title company and read a letter from my lawyer. i didn't read the case file on the voter lawsuit yet, and i didn't do any of the big writing projects i'm in the middle of.
an old friend asked me to dinner (and i mean really old -50 seems old until i remember how old i am.)
yesterday i got email from a big law firm in chicago because i've been bitching at being unconstitutionally searched every time i go to city hall.
i'm still mulling a properly snarky response. I'm trying to convice myself I've gotten enough done to be able to hit the club tonight. I'm biased in my favor.

 

by arbi
10-19-05
so i started a new feature on my blog, the daily hottie. sort of like at leasticoulddo.com. the first, so far the only one, i found on hotornot.com
and for the halibut i clicked "yes, i want to meet you" and whaddya know, he also clicked yes.
so now i have to decide whether to spend $6 to find out he's not really interested in meeting for coffee after all.
$6 wouldn't break me, but after i lost my shirt in the dot com crash, i made a rule to never spend money online.
it's 11:32, so if i'm gonna make it to the club tonight i have to pry myself away from the computer.
you wanted funny? you must be new here. go check choadwarrior or alcoic14

 

by arbi
10-20-05
it's a slow news week. the duck's hibernating or migrating or estivating.. whatever it is ducks do.
we've been defending the miers nomination. experienced, hard worker, trailblazer, etc. but we read something disturbing today.
when she was on the dallas city council, she voted to ban flag burning, when she knew or should have known that would be unconstitutional.
her explantion showed she didn't even understand that that was a problem, and that public officials who swear to uphold the constitution are supposed to actually do so.
i'm not sure we can trust an oathbreaker to be the guardian of our liberties. we've moved from "confirm" to "wait and see."
hearings begin november 7th and continue until somebody cracks.

 

Somebody here order a playboy bunny off ebay?
by arbi, 10-21-05

 

by arbi
10-21-05
screw the prime directive. let's kill something. w00t.
he's dead, jim. i got his tricorder, you get his wallet.
two to beam up, spotty.
two, sir?

 

by arbi
10-27-05
This just in! Harriet Miers has withdrawn, and will not be the next justice.
Will Sandy ever get to retire?
stay tuned.
the president surprized critics today by naming choadwarrior

 

by arbi
10-30-05
did:
not much. here in milwaukee, i don't have motivation to be online all day, because real life isn't so bad, and there's cable.
didn't:
to do: make this comic.

 

by arbi
10-30-05
www.lostwonders.com
I spent awhile trying to sort out what time it is, then did some laundry and went for a bike ride. I found two places of interest,
www.sciplus.com
an anime store and next to it a mad scientists' supply store
pushups: monday 230 t 70 so far
i didn't actually talk to anybody, and there weren't flyers or bulliten boards or suchlike, but at least i found a place that seems like my people. geeks.
next: fold the laundry.

 

by arbi
10-31-05
This just in - Bush has named 3rd circuit judge Alito as the replacement for Miers, who was the replacement for Roberts, who was the replacement for O'Connor.
Alito was leading the rumour mill and the tradesports betting over the weekend.
Dear democrats: happy halloween! - George
We don't know a whole lot about him. His nickname "Scalito" isn't exactly fair - he's a solid conservative but no Scalia clone.
Volokh.com and scotusblog have more deep background.
Our prediction: he'll be confirmed.
Two ears up. Bush coulda done worse. It's a safe, somewhat uninspired choice.

 

by arbi
10-31-05
This just in - Japanese premier Koizuma has reshuffled his cabinet following recent elections, and has named hardliner Shinzo Abe to a ministry.
We bring you this exclusive channel 3 interview with minister Abe. Do you have a message for America?
Hai!
There you have it - he says hello. Back to you, thad.
Bakka Gaigin

 

by arbi
11-02-05
http://www.theday.com/eng/web/news/ re.aspx?re=7c18bfca-358b-4547-b72b-3f2711326ad2
This just in - mice can sing.
The sounds are too high pitched for the human ear
Disney claims to have a patent, and has told the mice to stop.

 

by arbi
11-04-05
did friday: bought truck. paid rent. washed dishes cleaned stove took out trash picked up trash in street trimmed lawn. killed 100 roaches. collected rent, cashed check, cleaned truck bed bought gas
talked to paralegal did research online made appointment for tuneup. talked to roommates.
zero pushups
to do: take recycling to center.
Saturday: Got the title and plates. Changed spark plugs. Might have a tenant for my old house. Burned the brush that was in the truck. Changed a brake fluid line. Collected rent. Washed dishes.

 

by arbi
11-09-05
Today I got a $30K offer for my house... I'm pretty sure his financing will fall through.
Later today a guy from the parks department called and wanted to buy one of my lots for $7K, but I'd already given it away to Habitat.
I'll have to see if I can find some win win way to reopen that.

 

i'll be in suburbal south philly 12/23-12/25. coffee anyone?
# i'm dreaming of a white christmas... if only in my dreams
that's it. i'm going home.
by arbi, 11-10-05

 

i wonder what happens if i hit the "clone panel" button, in a one-panel strip?
nothing, it seems.
by arbi, 11-10-05

 

by arbi
11-10-05
It's cold out and I have a cold so I didn't have big plans for the day. I had a good talk with habitat about the lot i gave them that the city now wants for a golf course - we'll work something out.
And I sold another lot. A third guy never called me back. I did some blogging, washed the dishes, made the roommate clean the stove.
chatted with my british friend, made an appointment with my lawyer. Tomorrow all day will be some pro bono workshop at the state supreme court.
I put out a fresh roach motel today and it already has 30 roaches.
and now it's midnight and bedtime.
While I was out of town my roommate let one of my bikes get stolen and got a flat on the other, so I walked to the thrift store to buy a bike but they were out. Walked back along the railroad track.
mailed a letter to my ex. Outlined some memos, but didn't actually write them.

 

My meeting today was at the state capitol, and i slept thru the alarm and got there an hour late, and the government was closed. But a guard let me in and I found the meeting ok.
CLE $150. Parking $2. Coffee $3. Soup $3. Bike $26.
Happy Veterinarians Day!
by arbi, 11-11-05

 

by arbi
11-14-05
today went pretty well.. revised a memo, good meeting with lawyer, bearded a land developer in his den who hadn't been returning my phone calls. started paperwork to collect a few thousand from city
from city hall from last year's tax sale. got a list of what sold at this year's sale.
7, um 12, um 19, roaches were killed during the making of this strip.
although i'm unemployed, i'm making so much right now i may need to file taxes this year.
off to the club ($20). tomorrow: laundry, check, and dishes, check. car, storage unit, insurance, not done. 2 out 5.

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/ comics/Smarmulus/322669/
Tell you what I'm gonna do, just special for you I'll make the rice without not having peas.
I eat my peas with honey. I've done so all my life. So what if they taste funny, it keeps them on my knife.
by arbi, 11-15-05

 

by arbi
11-16-05
I'm an aardvark. I fight crime. I'm not very good at it. In particular, i fight city hall. They say you can't do that. They have a point.
I'm 22, on Mars. That's 45 in aardvark years. I don't know yet how long I can keep this up. I intend to live forever or die trying.
I've been reading megatokyo again, and drinking coffee, so I'm a little wired. Other stuff I did today included updating my blog with info on aardvarks and webcomix.
My stuperpower is that I have an acute sensitivity to civil rights violations.
The shrink says I'm schizotypic, which relates to why I have trust issues.
I gave out this link yesterday on a forum I'm on , and yesterday's "whirled peas" comic didn't quite fit my point, so I'm doing this one. It might be a repeat.
Today, for example, I battled by phone with city hall over some weed liens for a property I'm trying to close next week. I didn't win, but I won the right to a hearing next month on my claim.

 

by arbi
11-16-05
I'm an aardvark. I fight crime. I'm not very good at it. In particular, i fight city hall. They say you can't do that. They have a point.
I don't have a regular job, no paycheck. I'm independently poor. I get by.
Today I walked through the snow to make copies and get a document notarized - I'm trying to get some money back from when they took one of my properties last year. Tomorrow I meet with the same guy
who bought that one, to sign a deal to buy one of my lots at ten times what I paid 5 years ago, back when I had money.
Because of the snow, I didn't do the things on my list like get the truck fixed. Mostly I sit here and blog and read webcomix and such.
On the way home, for a treat, I bought some limes and guava and peach juice. $1.20. I try to stay outside the money economy, but a little juice is nice.

 

by arbi
11-16-05
I'm an aardvark. I fight crime. I'm not very good at it. In particular, I fight attempts by the government to control political speech online. I blog about that at ballots.blogspot. com.
Last week I blogged about P. Ditty, who faces an FEC complaint because he tried to get people to vote.
Today that story was covered in 163 newspapers. I guess they don't read my blog. I wouldn't either - it's not very good.

 

by arbi
11-16-05
Stop me if you've heard this one: I'm an aardvark. I fight crime. I'm not very good at it
One of the reasons I got into this line of work had to do with growing up during vietnam, when there was a sense our country was involved in an unjust war, and that we could do something about it.
Yesterday 50,000 pages of documents were declassified, stuff about the secret war in cambodia, and some stuff about hoffa.
I don't know if this stuff is online yet, maybe cryptome has it. John Young does good work at that site.
Hoffa was very involved in planning the hits on jfk and rfk, and nixon pardoned him in 71, and then nixon was pardoned in 74.
You know the scene where Brad and Janet are in the car in the rain? That's nixon on the radio, his resignation speech.

 

by arbi
11-17-05
I'm an aardvark. I fight crime. I'm not very good at it. In particular, i fight city hall. They say you can't do that. They have a point.
I had a closing set for Monday, and this morning it all fell apart, so I've been putting it back together.
It turned out to all be miscommunication; the title company hadn't told the city which liens to release for a bribe of $250, so the titlework wasn't ready, but I'm getting them to fix it.
Don't they know I never get up before noon?!!
Then at 1:00 I meet a guy to sign off on his offer - done!- and then I go downtown to file more paperwork and pay some bills.
When I go downtown they will again subject me to another unconstitutional search, which really ticks me off. I need to write another memo about it.

 

by arbi
11-19-05
Fabu pumkin pie, Val! What is your secret?
I'm a covert operative for the CIA
I meant about the pie.
And I would have got away with it too, if it weren't for Scooter Libby and those meddling kids!

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