All comics by xxxenon

 

Butch ! Have you seen my arm ?
No ! but I saw a Caberet Dancer.
by xxxenon, 2-10-06

 

by xxxenon
2-10-06
Sister Ann ! Would you like to carry the Torch during the Olympic Ceremonies ?
I thought Sophia Loren was going to do the honors.
That was just a rumor .The Christian Science Monitor Could not Make the 2006 Winter Games because she is being detained by a Revenge Brigade.
I saw her Video Tape on the Today show and the Back Drop was Torino Italy .A beautiful setting in the Alps.
Yes ! It was a perfect time slot to broadcast her appeal to her Supporters''We will do whatever it takes to win her Release''
How much money do you want to get me out of this Joint ?

 

by xxxenon
2-11-06
Did you hear about that 14 year old boy who was beaten to death in a Florida Boot Camp for Juvenile Delinquints ?
Ya ! A gang of savages kicked and choked him after only being in there for a few hours.The official cause of death is Bleeding !
It makes me sick to my stomach.I want to throw up my GUTS and wrap them around their Self Rightious Heads !
It was a Brutal killing all caught on tape and the Guards ''Grown Men'' responsible for this horrible crime deserve the Death Penalty !
I am Pissed Off ! The tape is being held from public viewing because the case is still under Investigation. I want to see it !
The Tape is worth a Lawsuit !

 

by xxxenon
2-12-06
The Court needs our help.
I paid my Ticket to the Clerk Of Court for 336 Dollars. I could use their Help.
You have been chosen to serve as a Juror in the United States Witch Trial.
Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest seeing that I am a apprentice to the Grand Wizard ?
Jury Duty would be a prominent mark on your Credit Report and would assure you a seat at the State Supper.
Is it true ? The Vice President accidentally shot a Fellow Hunter.

 

by xxxenon
2-13-06
Thanks Dragon ! This Green Dragon Tea is a superb blend of cannabis leaves. The Witch read my tea leaves and said there would be a ironic Twist Of Fate.
Maybe I soaked the cannabis in too much Ethanol.
I feel Grrrreat ! Virtue is extreme Reward and Vice is extreme Punishment.
Are you on one of your Philosophical Trips ?
Tea testing is a important responsibility for a Jury Manager.
Let the Commencement Begin !

 

by xxxenon
2-15-06
A candle to represent Fire
To my Valentine 143
A skull or earth from a graveyard to represent Earth
A phone to represent THE WEAKNESS OF THE SPOKEN WORD
The Key Magic Rule ''Know Your Surroundings''
What Are you doing tonight ''Do you want me to come over'' ?

 

POWER OF THE UNSPOKEN WORD
No ! to the Late Night Booty Call !
by xxxenon, 2-15-06

 

by xxxenon
2-15-06
Why is there Blood all over you ?
I just removed a Pellet from the Vice President.
Why would you do that ?
Hello ! To save him from a ''Silent Heart Attack'' I thought it would be a good idea to play Safe.
As a Spokesman for the Department Of Exercise I disagree.We should all live with a Pellet in the Chest.
I guess Pilates is going to be replaced with Pellets !

 

by xxxenon
2-16-06
I may be cold.I may not have a job or a retirment fund.
I may beg for change.I may dance for tips or drink away my sorrows.
I may occasionally smoke pot but,at least I am not that guy who kept his dead mother in a freezer while he collected her Social Security Checks.

 

by xxxenon
2-16-06
I may be obsessive compulsive.I may not have a college degree or know the square root of a number.
I may like how pain killers make me feel.I may go to strip clubs or hang out with guys 15 years younger than me.
I may be addicted to coffee but, at least I am not on welfare sponging off state assisted insurance for 5 kids I cant afford while scalping food stamps to pay a Gambling Debt.

 

by xxxenon
2-16-06
I may play the music too loud.I may be one week late on my rent.I may have no friends.
I may indulge in too much chocolate.I may stutter my words when I am nervous.I may be promiscious.
I may not go to church but, at least I have Stripcreator. Thanks Brad !

 

by xxxenon
2-18-06
Hey ! What is wrong with taking advantage of the American way ? It is either that or me and all my dependent kids live in a homeless Shelter.
So you operate a Foster Home for a Tax Break ?
It is A legal and State funded Buisness.
Do you have Biological Children who live in the Home ?
Yes ! I have a beautiful daughter who is my Pride and Joy !
Are there boys and girls who live in the foster home with sexual behavior disfunction that they have brought into the household from past Expierence ?

 

Yes ! Their placement in the Foster Home gives me extra income and it is a good deed to society.
I may not be a expert but, if I had a Biological Daughter who was my Life I would not jeopardize her Welfare for a couple of Bucks !
by xxxenon, 2-18-06

 

by xxxenon
2-20-06
President's Day
Are you Questioning my motives.
I am just trying to understand the Fundemental Truth.
Brad ! Dont be a Dinosaur .Where is your American Spirit?My daughter has a good head on her shoulders and if one of the kids in the house makes a sexual advance towards her she knows where to Kick.
Who taught you about Sex ?
Benny Hill ! The Birds and the Bees poem is a classic.
Thats what I was afaid you were going to say !

 

by xxxenon
2-20-06
www.tnsf.ca/bennyhill/display.php?filename=birds_and_thebees&type=poem

 

Ya,there is nothing better than Knee Slapping Humor.
What you need is a English Slapstick right where it Counts !
by xxxenon, 2-20-06

 

by xxxenon
2-20-06
It is important to recognize the safty and stability of our Children.
Most children who are in the Foster Care System have parents who have problems with drugs and alcohol or they may be in Jail.
Case Worker
Most Kids are abused or neglected and need Special Attention !

 

by xxxenon
2-22-06
What's going on ?
I am having a Wreath Laying Ceremony for George Washington.
The Commander and Chief of the Continental Army was born Feb 22, 1732. That was 274 years ago.
Washington's Birthday is my favorite day of the Year.
Why is that ?
He was a Master Surveyor and Map Maker who gave spark to the American Revolution.

 

by xxxenon
2-22-06
But...
But...No excuse ! You are using the Foster Home as A Tax Shelter without taking into consideration the needs of your Biological Child.
I am not a Gambler !
I conclude that taking on the role of Good Samaritan in this Case Study is a gambling debt to society and is not in the best interest of your Daughter.
Brad ! Dont be a Drama King.
The Crown Of Martydom lies in the hands of the Youth Service Board !

 

by xxxenon
2-25-06
So your the girl who is trying to move in on my territory. My name is Phreaky and I am Notorious for getting what I want.
I take it you read my comic strip credentials and want to lay claim to my ideas.
Thats right ! I want to be Big Sister.My tits are bigger than yours and thats how It works around here in Orange County.
I put alot of time and effort into creating artistic expression and not even you Phreaky as sexy as you are can take that away from me.
Oh ! The local boys are on my side.
Ya ! If your hearing this now then I am one step ahead of your ''Falsly Stated Purpose''.

 

by xxxenon
2-26-06
Pakistan
This is a Islamic Country. Prophet Muhammed is a righteous man and should not be treated with Blasphemy !
That Cartoon is giving our religion a bad name.One of the caricatures shows the Prophet wearing a turban on his head in the shape of a bomb with a lit Fuse.
Hahahaha ! That is funny.
Hahahaha ! We cant let the Prophet know we laughed when we saw the drawing.Our lives depend on those who rally for him. I just finished my Theology Paper Slaughter House Civilization.
Did you hear about the New Prophet Ladama ? He is more powerful than Buddha,Kabbalah,and Hare Krsna.
Hare Hare ! to the New Herd Mentality.

 

by xxxenon
2-28-06
Dude ! The girl I just danced with is Hot but, she has bad Breath.
Ya ! well the mouth is a haven for bacteria and takes the most abuse.Think of it as a dead decaying Carcus.
Ya ! I cant place my finger on the odor.
Well lets go down the list of smells.There is cigarette breath,alcohol breath,narcotics breath,coffee breath,garlic breath,onion breath and the # 1 killer plaque build up Breath.
Dont Be A Victim
Which one is it !
Plaque ! is what you get when you dont go to the Dentist.

 

by xxxenon
2-28-06
There are many reasons why People have bad Breath.
Antibiotics,heartburn,diabetes,acid reflux and low carb diets are all contibuting factors to the Bad Breath Epidemic.
Dont even get me started on Personal Hygiene !

 

I brought you some freshly picked Flowers.
Sweet ! As long as you dont mind the smell of fresh sweat I will gladly take them. Thanks Butch !
by xxxenon, 2-28-06

 

by xxxenon
3-02-06
Incantation
Your Prioress it is a privilege to meet You.
Your Prioress it is a Privilege to meet You.
Your Prioress it is a privilege to meet You.
You must be my Sponcor !

 

Butch ! The Church is looking for their Offering Box.
Do you care to make a Donation ?
by xxxenon, 3-02-06

 

by xxxenon
3-02-06
Los Angeles Cardinal Roger Mahony
These damn clergy men have no Jurisprudence when it comes to aiding and ebedding Illegial Immigrants.
Maybe the Immigrants are giving the Church money ! That would explain their Defying Behavior.
Loyalty And Dedication
What's in the Box ?
Think of it as a United States Thanks Offering !

 

by xxxenon
3-02-06
Sister Ann ! Your free to go on your own recognizance.
Did someone post Bail?
Lets just say the good Lord is watching over you.One of your cohorts dropped off a generous gift to the Police Department.
Was it my Sponcor?
I am not at liberty to discuss that information but,lets just say that this years Policemans ball is going to be held on a Cruise Ship.
Does this mean I get my Box Cutter Back ?

 

by xxxenon
3-03-06
The Archdiocese,Priests and Deacons are ''making room'' for trouble within our jail and welfare systems.Illegial Immigrants go back and forth over the border committing Sex Crimes.
Mr.President ! I have something you might want to read.It is a Documented account of sexual misconduct within the Catholic Church.
Traitors ! The church refuses to disclose that information to the public. I have been looking for Documentation.
It was swept under the Persian Rug behind the Marble Alter at the Foot Of Christ.
Contributions to the Catholic Church have been accepted under False Pretense.
Ya ! They are no better than the 5 crooked cops out of LA who were arrested for staging phony police raids and seizing cash. Lets go pound some Nails !

 

by xxxenon
3-04-06
Sister Ann ! Your internship application has been accepted by the 15 Families that Govern Our Nation.
Internship ! after all the bad press regarding one certain intern.I would not want that position even if you Pay Me Royalties.
Self Blessing
I thought you had a calling that led you to the Word Of God. Humor me.
I was on a railroad train to Boston and had a vision.The Pillsbury Dough Boy was talking to me.He told me to Annoint myself with Standard Oil !

 

by xxxenon
3-04-06
Sister Ann ! Is it true that you stole the offering Box at Church and that your using the money to start a Holy Order?
Listen Kid ! You cant believe everything you Hear.
I also heard that you recieved permission from the Holy to Speak at the Parents and Childrens Convention.
That is Nonsense !
My Parents gave me up for adoption because Heroin was more important.What do you think my chances are on a scale from 1-10.
Alright ! I cant live with the Guilt besides we only have Ten more minutes to ''Last Call.''

 

by xxxenon
3-04-06
Sister Ann ! Who is your Favorite T.V. Personality ?
Carson Daly !
Who is your least Favorite ?
Robert Tilton Ministries !
A State Of Eternal Bliss.
What Do you think of Steve - 0 ?
O ! I would like to see Robert Tilton spend a weekend with the Wild Boyz ! MTV

 

by xxxenon
3-06-06
The lab results came back and it appears that you are a healthy Candidate.
Lets make it official.What are my Levels?
Diabetes=80 Cholesterol=152 Triglycerides=48 Good (HDL)=66 BAD (HDL)=76
Sweet ! the 12 hour fast was worth the wait and so were the Jack In The Box French Toast Sticks.
Support the Cause
If that is what you had for breakfast what did you eat for Dessert ?
I ate a whole box of Girl Scout Cookies Samoas !

 

by xxxenon
3-08-06
I have not broken my vow of celebacy in over 40 Years.
Can you prove it ?According to the victoms of CLERGY SEXUAL IMPURITY your track record is shameful representation of Holy Brotherhood.
Exuse me ! I AM A SUBORDINATE CHURCH OFFICER and have been falsly accused of Molestation.
''Proof Of Claims'' The President of the United States Conference Of Catholic Bishops has filed for bankruptcy protection and has agreed to pay 45.7 million dollars to 75 victoms of sexual Abuse.
That is a Token of our Gratitude and Faith. It is not a Admission To Guilt.
Remind me not to name my kid Deacon !

 

To Big Sister Wendy 83
Spankling ! I am prepared to take my vows in the Religious Order Of Principle. What is My Novena ?
I command you to Spank me 10 times with the paddle I bought from Goodwill !
by xxxenon, 3-08-06

 

by xxxenon
3-09-06
I cant understand how the court gave custody of my child to my parents ? I am a Good Mother.
What do you do for a living ?
I run a Premium Escort Hooker Service.How would you like me to take your pictures and put them on my website.I have male clients that would love your Look.
Have you ever been in Jail ?
Yes ! for illegial use of drugs and assorted Paraphernalia.
No Thanks ! Maybe you should come with me to the Parents and Childrens Convention.

 

by xxxenon
3-09-06
We are standing in front of the White House where a press conference is being held.A new Savior has been appointed to the Pulpit.
Mr. Spankling is there anything you want to say to the Public ?
I want to thank the Body Piercers and Tattoo Artists across America ! My nipples are very Sensitive.
What is one word of advice you have for our Sponcors ?
We may be up Shits Creek but,we have the Paddle !

 

by xxxenon
3-13-06
Today marks the beginning of a new Reign in Global Politics.How do you feel about a Gay Dominatrix in charge of Religious Doctrine ?
I am ESTATIC ! Spankling nominated me as the # 1 Cock Ring Distributer amoung our less than average size Penis's
Mr. President ! Would it be fair to say that hiring a Gay Dominatrix to lead our youth in a war againt Church Misconduct is a act of Political Grandstanding ?
In order to restore Faith in the Community and uplift the Human Spirit we must free ourselves from controlling others.Submissive Sex Slaves is our only alternative for Peace.
Are you saying in order to gain Religious Iniative one must give up Sexual Power ?
The Soap Box is no place for a Preacher unless Your Bending Over !

 

by xxxenon
3-13-06
Godshouse: Evangelistic Meeting Place
Adoring Fans
Heaven

 
by xxxenon, 3-13-06

 

by xxxenon
3-14-06
The Dangerous Devide Into Intimacy.
Spankling ! We are a Politically and Militarily Dominant Nation.
Savior - Faire !
Is that your way of saying that this is the Diplomatic Highway ?
Well if we start walking now we can make it to the Palms Casino by Sunset.
Las Vegas ! Why on Gods Earth are we walking to the Palms Casino ?
To get matching tattoos at ''Hart & Huntington Tattoo Company.'' I command you to lead me by the Collar !

 

by xxxenon
3-15-06
Zombie:A person thought to have died and been brought back to life without free will. Webster's Dictionary
What a morbid thought to think I would be better off Dead.
It is free will if I choose to take my Life.
Oh ! but,if I kill myself I wont be able to hack into the minds of those who are hacking into my hard drive and what fun would life be if I could not give the Zombies a Great Feed !
Honey Oil Saves The Future !

 
by xxxenon, 3-15-06

 

by xxxenon
3-23-06
I had a premonition you needed my assistance. Is everything ok ?
Thanks Tooms for the presentiment. I am having a bad day.
What seems to be the problem ?
I just spent 300.00 dollars for a Eye Exam Of California. I bought frames and lenses with scotchgard protector and I am not happy with Lens Crafters !
Ahhh ! I see you recieved their public Display of affection glasses with Scratches.
Yes ! Lens Crafters is trying to pass off old frames as new frames.They have violated my Field Of Vision !

 

by xxxenon
3-23-06
A sacrilege has been committed against the Covenant.
A sacrament to safeguard Serendipity.
How much do you think the Zombies will pay for a used Body Part ?
A Eye Ball is Priceless !

 
by xxxenon, 3-23-06

 

by xxxenon
3-26-06
Hey Pretty Lady where are you from?
I am from The South Shore Of Boston.
Fantasy Football
Are you a New England Patriots Fan ?
Yes ! I had sex with a Patriot Player in the 80's.It was a moment I will never forget.
Why is that ?
He was big and black and he cooked me breakfast. THE BEST SCRAMBLED EGGS I EVER HAD !

 

Do you think just because you had sex with a Patriot Player that qualifies you as a Loyal Fan ?
No ! the fact that I took the time to register as a True Patriot is Solidification for being a Enthusiast ! Having sex with a Patriot is Sportsmanship !
by xxxenon, 3-27-06

 

by xxxenon
4-01-06
Sister Ann ! Do you want to go to a Eminem Concert ?
No Thanks ! If I go to a Crotch Rockettes Live Concert I will never see the Rapture.
Spiritual ecstasy is seeing a Rapper Grab His Balls.
WHO TOLD YOU THAT ?
Hot Sauce on my Pee Pee !

 

Sister Ann ! Do you want to go to a Revenge Brigades Concert ?
Yes ! I love a Good Hoax.
by xxxenon, 4-01-06

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