All comics by MikeyG

Profile

 

by MikeyG
2-17-05
I'M Fist of the North Star!
No, I'M Fist of the North Star!
SOMEBODY has to be Fist of the South Star!
Well that'd have to be you, Fuj.
Why?
Because you usually have your fist up your southern starfish.

 

by MikeyG
2-18-05
What's the bad news?
dcomposed made a comic about me.
What's the worse news?
He knows who I am.

 

by MikeyG
2-18-05
I went out with this guy the other day and he was so sweet and charming and gentlemanly and...
Butterflies, the embrace of a lover, waterfalls..
..he totally tried to feel me up at the end of the date and then I was like maybe some other time buddy and...
Moonlit, starry night, a sweet symphony, the first taste of ice cream on the palate...
...then he said we wouldn't go out again because I was too FAT! Can you believe he called me fat?
Yes.

 

by MikeyG
2-18-05
Why do you just walk around normally? Like, why don't you sashay and lisp and stuff?
Excuse me?
Like you're gay and you don't swish around or wear high heels or anything.
What?
Don't you people get breast implants and wear make-up and tuck your thingie?
Wait, YOU'RE not a drag queen?

 

by MikeyG
2-18-05
So you didn't discriminate against the guy who's wife was suing us?
Hardly.
Well, I think you should write up some sort of timeline for the termination and let me look over it to make sure it's kosher.
I would have, but now I can't.
Why not?
While you were talking you accidentally swallowed my secretary,

 

by MikeyG
2-23-05
What's the bad news?
dcomposed made another comic about me.
What's the worse news?
He knows how much I want to have anal sex with him.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-05
What's the bad news?
dcomposed.
What's the worse news?
Rupert Murdoch.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-05
What's the one place dcomposed refuses to put his dick in?
His pants.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-05
Why does CHUBBY make so many comics?
The doctors say it stops him from whacking off in public.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-05
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and CHUBBY?
There are some people that still think Michael Jackson doesn't molest boys.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-05
Why is CHUBBY like an email spambot?
Because through the piles of shit, you always wind up clicking on something that looks intriguing, and then immediately realize how wrong you were.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
What's the difference between CHUBBY and William Hung?
William Hung's probably gotten laid by now.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY like G.G. Allin?
Having a tiny penis didn't stop either one of them from making shit and flinging it.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY like George W. Bush?
They're both idiots, but there doesn't seem to be a hell of a lot you can do about it.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
What's the difference between Rick Santorum and clowns?
They both make 4-year-olds cry, but Santorum does it with his penis.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY like Hillary Rodham Clinton?
They both secretly yearn to know the touch of a woman.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY such a cunt?
He's hoping by acting like one he'll finally be able to get close to one.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
What's the difference between CHUBBY and a prostitute?
Prostitutes CHARGE old men to suck their dicks.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY's ass like Dependsâ„¢ undergarments?
They're both usually found on an old man's dick.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY like little_kitty?
They've both got huge tits.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY's dead mom like a truck stop?
Because no matter how run down it is, dirty fat guys will still go in it.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY's ass like an AIDS clinic?
Because people with AIDS are in there a lot. What else did you expect?

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
Why is CHUBBY like a television sitcom?
Because he sucks.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-05
I can't believe I survived jumping off that bridge.
You shouldn't get so down, son. Everything's all part of life's plan.
Like what? Like you banging my wife into divorcing me, Dad?
No, son. Like having a son of your very own.
Wait...then maybe I can get old and bang HIS hot, young wife!
Now you've got it, son.

 

by MikeyG
2-27-05
What's the difference between dcomposed and Mike Tyson?
People don't usually walk up to Mike Tyson and laugh in his face.

 

by MikeyG
2-27-05
What's the difference between dcomposed and shopping?
Girls like shopping.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
How do you stop a bunch of cops from beating the shit out of a Hispanic guy?
Tell them a black guy did it.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
How can you tell a cop is corrupt?
They're wearing a uniform.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
How can you prevent being hassled by the cops?
Paint yourself white.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
What do you do if you're a black guy and the police come to your door and ask for I.D.?
Get shot when you pull your wallet out.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
What do you do when you're a Black Panther leader and you're sleeping peacefully in your bed?
Get shot by cops.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
How do you stop a cop from beating the shit out of you if you're black?
Change your name to O.J.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
When does a bunch of cops stop beating the shit out of a black guy?
When they decide to rape him with a nightstick.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
How does a guilty black man beat the charges against him?
He hires Johnny Cochrane.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
How does a poor guilty black man beat charges against him?
He doesn't.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
How does a poor, innocent black man beat charges against him?
He doesn't.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
Why are cops such assholes?
You are what you eat.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
What's the difference between cops and an old black grandma?
The grandma's got a good reason for beating the shit out of a young black man.

 

by MikeyG
3-04-05
What's the difference between cops and a plague of rats?
People usually get rewarded for killing a plague of rats.

 

by MikeyG
3-11-05
Hey, did you hear what happened?
No, what?
Steve found Jesus!
Finally!
I know, it was about time!
Yeah, maybe he'll start putting a leash on that little motherfucker now.

 

by MikeyG
3-11-05
Oh faithful servant, you must fight Western Oppression with force.
I hear and obey, Allah.
Howdy, Hoss. Them thar Ay-rabs hate yer freedom. Blow 'em all to hell!
Yeeeeeeee HAW, God! Thank ya Jesus!
Man, I love this stuff.

 

by MikeyG
3-15-05
Okay, thanks for explaining.
Are you SURE you understand Palm Sunday now?
Hi, boys! My name is Sunday!
I'd like to go with a more liberal interpretation...
Don't even think about it.

 

by MikeyG
3-15-05
Hello in there! I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I wanted to leave you some pamphlets!
Da boss sed don't leave no witnesses.

 

by MikeyG
3-24-05
I'm sorry. I'll stop talking to you if it'll make it easier.
I would never stop talking to you.
Cool. Talk to you later.
Ok, bye!
The next day...
We should pretend each other doesn't exist. No calling, no mewling.

 

by MikeyG
3-26-05
Dude, hanging out with you is so much more fun since you installed this Playstation in your back.

 

by MikeyG
3-29-05
This situation would probably suck if I was real.

 

by MikeyG
3-29-05
*mumble mumble*
*mumble mumble*
WHAT DOES IT SAY, DAMMIT?
It says you're in violation of Alabama Statute 5544.3
Being Black Without a Permit? Not again!

 

by MikeyG
3-29-05
We haven't had a bite all day.
Well, maybe we should try more than one house.
But what if they're on their way home?
Good point.
Dude, I don't think our Door-to-Door News Update and Valet Parking business is going to catch on.
Especially since they have a garage and a TV.

 

by MikeyG
3-29-05
I guess I'd better skedaddle, eh?

 

by MikeyG
3-29-05
I can't seem to find a way out of this cave.
Yay!
We'll probably die here.
Yay!
Why the fuck do you keep cheering?
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by telling Geico to go fuck themselves!

Showing page 13.

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