All comics by mandingo

Profile

 

by mandingo
8-22-06
welcome to Xygon 3, space traveler
why do you ignore me?
IF IT IS WAR YOUR WORLD WANTS THEN IT IS WAR IT SHALL HAVE!

 

by mandingo
8-22-06
I WANT YOU TO KILL THAT KID WHO PLAYED RUDY'S FRIEND ON THE COSBY SHOW.
Bud, grandfather clock?
NO. THAT OTHER KID. YOU KNOW. WHAT'S HIS NAME. FAT. NEVER TALKED.
Peter.
candygram.

 

by mandingo
8-23-06
okay, i think we missed a turn back there in Sarasota... no Tampa... no Sarasota
let's just stop and ask for directions, sweety
we're not lost!
let's just stop and ask for directions or i bury my cold blade in your back, sweety
stupid ninja wife

 

by mandingo
8-23-06
excuse me, do you sell stamps
oh, i... i'm sorry... i didn't realize...
there anything for 4G?

 

by mandingo
8-23-06
i think it's this way
why don't we just stop and ask?
we're not lost!
why don't we just stop and ask or i shove a tie dyed paintbrush up your ass?
stupid hippy wife

 

by mandingo
8-25-06
my arm's getting tired pitchforking sinners
tell me about it, i've impaled so many on my horns the muscles in the back of my neck are throbbing!
you know what they should make?
some sort of RoboTorture device to make our lives easier?
no, Honey Ice Cream
you're obsessed, Gene

 

by mandingo
8-26-06
did you get everything you wanted for christmas, Butch?
almost, dad
i got you all the stuff on your list. chainsaws, axes, cadavers of hobos, eye hooks, eyes, eyehooked eyes...
i know, but there was something really specific i wrote a very detailed letter to Santa about but i guess he didn't get it
come on, Santa. you've been in there over an hour. you can't still be vomiting
Santa? oh there is no Santa, my friend. Santa died 3 adjectives and half a paragraph ago

 

by mandingo
8-27-06
i got one
great!
can i come closer now?

 

by mandingo
8-28-06
what do i do! WHAT DO I DO!! the police are knocking and there are body parts everywhere!
it's okay, it's okay. they don't know i'm a murder. i'll just act normal and NOT let them in
there a problem, officer?
if you own that Cutlass, there is... you're double parked, pal

 

by mandingo
8-29-06
♫ what if god was one of us, just a stranger on a bus, just tryin to make his way home♫
♫ Hallelujah! ♫
you're right, Pete. clearing out that whole fuckin bus

 

........................................................................................................................................................................................................
i have no gag reflex!
by mandingo, 9-02-06

 

by mandingo
9-02-06
they appear to be bombs
bombs aimed at your head
fascinating

 

by mandingo
9-02-06
camera 2, Gene
hostilities escalate in the middle east today...
that's camera 3
in a turn of events no strategist saw coming...
now you're wedged under the vending machine
mmmph

 

by mandingo
9-03-06
what are you doing?
i'm jacking off on these kittens and watching them lick it off each other
cool, i'm in the right line

 

by mandingo
9-04-06
this way, pumpkin
can't we just stop and ask for directions?
stupid pumpkin wife

 

by mandingo
9-08-06
I AM THE GIANT CUCUMBER
THE GIANT CUCUMBER OF THE APOCALPYSE
that Mrs. Garrett is a saint
SHE PUTS UP WITH A LOT
i'll say

 

by mandingo
9-09-06
unlike those who rape for sport, my people use every part of the rape victim
the oral rape we use to make weapons or knitting needles
the vaginal rape we use as sustenance to survive when food is scant
we adorn ourselves in anal rape to survive the cold winters
we honor the gods with double penetration
parole denied!

 

by mandingo
9-11-06
what's joe getting arrested for?
he called a big reraise with q-j suited
well, who wouldn't?
i fucking hate you, joe
they were suited!

 

by mandingo
9-11-06
ALLAH AKBAR!
oh no, not again!
joey, joey, it's okay! you were having that dream again! it's just a nightmare, baby
*sniffle* okay mom... sorry
good, sounds like he's asleep again... hit it!
ALLAH AKBAR!

 

by mandingo
9-14-06
goodbye, Elizabeth. though i love you more than ever, Ernest is a rich man who can provide you with the life i can't.
no he can't! Ernest poor as shit! all his money really YOURS!
the life you deserve.
fool i just done told you all his money YOURS!
why do robots insist on talkin all the way through the film?
he's standin right be-he-he-HIND you, dear

 

by mandingo
9-15-06
excuse me. could you do me a favor and reach in my pocket and pull out a couple of quarters for the dryer?
i thought you'd never ask

 

by mandingo
9-17-06
captain, last night short range scanners revealed a Klingon shooting on uranus
no, spock, that was the doctor
the doctor... bones... uranus?
yes, spock. we were both holed up in this little hotel, deep undercover
sucking each other's cocks

 

by mandingo
9-20-06
THE FORUMS ARE BACK ONLINE! THE FORUMS ARE BACK ONLINE! by mandingo
hey babe! the forums are up!
what? no they're not
404
404
i fuckin hate mandingo

 

by mandingo
10-09-06
i think what you're looking for is 'Knock'
Knock
good but twice now
Knock Knock
perfect! okay, now here's my part... FUCK OFF

 

by mandingo
10-09-06
egads, a civil war veteran! and from the south, no less! what are you doing in the 21st century?
i've come to study at your universities in hopes of curing cancer and teaching the blind to see
but seriously
nigger hunting

 

by mandingo
10-25-06
son, there are 3 types of people in the world
what's #2?
they're not ranked
oh yeah? what say you get back to me when you've done some more research, hmm?
then he slapped me on the ass and said he's borrowing the car Friday night
i hate that kid

 

by mandingo
10-31-06
while i appreciate your idea about increasing sensitivity training 1000%, it's kind of like those cartoons with the trapdoors in the office floor
how so?
WHOOSH
WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
THUD
owwwwwww
i bet you're thinking that was the worst part!

 

by mandingo
12-14-06
I WANT PLAY GAME!!!!!!
i don't think you're going to have much problem with that
because you're holding an axe, you see.
little homicidal killer humor there

 

by mandingo
12-14-06
this cave is full of wonders
this cave is full of wonders
this cave is full of wonders

 

by mandingo
12-20-06
some of our fondest childhood memories center around that tree out back
climbing, building the clubhouse, decorating it for christmas, weeping when the Johnsons built a fence around it
fortifying its roots with the blood of tree horders

 

by mandingo
12-20-06
i can't believe you regifted that candle to my mom. you know she's still coming to terms with me being gay
what does that have to do with anything?
it was a candle YOU bought me
there's no way she could know that
its scent is Manlove
i'll disconnect the phone

 

by mandingo
12-21-06
ah, man. i downloaded The Wicker Man but it was really The Notebook. that's just wrong
Meanwhile, 8 states away...
hi, Julie. how's The Notebook?
Julie?

 

by mandingo
12-22-06
NIGGER IN THE ORANGE JUICE!! NIGGER IN THE ORANGE JUICE!! NIGGER IN THE ORANGE JUICE!!
kids and their imaginations
i just sprayed for niggers

 

by mandingo
12-30-06
hey Joe, bad news. i was raping the living shit out of your wife when halfway through she started to like it. we're running off to Fiji together
Sally?
no, i'm just messing with you
OH THANK GOD!
it's really Hawaii

 

by mandingo
1-02-07
in the year 2007, crabby's child will be hot salsa raped by a mexican
for the record, i'd like it to be known that i'm a spaniard and not a mexican
a spaniard who has also hit that

 

by mandingo
1-06-07
Marital Aids
have you been a bad little penguin?
so bad. oh god, so bad
Marital Aids
i just got back from the doctor, Frank. your infidelities have killed us both
i'm so sorry, Ellen!
i don't know what's more depressing - the middle frame of this comic or the fact that i caught you masturbating to it
pregnant chicks are hot

 

by mandingo
1-07-07
if you rape someone and then kill them, you're charged with rape and murder. but if you kill them first and then rape them, you're just charged with murder. kind of a technicality really
but what if someone else kills them and you rape them? what are you charged with then?
let's find out
uh oh

 

Your progenitor is so rotund, when she saunters past the trough, the porcine accommodate her a space!
You scamp!
by mandingo, 1-09-07

 

parents are funny. when i showed a little interest in hurricanes, suddenly i'm gonna grow up to be a meterologist. when i said i wanted swim lessons, suddenly i'm gonna be an olympic diver.
you raped the mailman, son
by mandingo, 1-09-07

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
you raped
the mailman

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
i mean for fuck's sake, what's he go for, 280? 285?
i played football in high school!
he played football in high school!

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
i fought in the army!
he was in the army!
no, i fought in the army. middleweight class. 33-0-1

 

hell of a way to pick up your first loss
i'll say
by mandingo, 1-10-07

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
i think there's just one question left to be asked, son
WHY GOD WHY
no. how?
i found his achilles heel
he says you found more than that

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
achilles heel?
everyone has one
what's his?
rape

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
he says he found your achilles heel
what is it?
rapists!
WHERE?!

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
well, this seems like a good Law & Order tonight, but i'm too sleepy to watch the rest
i like how that show always makes plots out of current news stories
sad about Buster Douglas though

 

by mandingo
1-10-07
*creeeeeeeek*
is... is someone there?
*CLICK*
showtime

 

by mandingo
1-15-07
i looked away for one minute, and when i looked back he was gone!
not to worry, ma'am. says here Spico and Barnes have been assigned to the case--the two finest detectives i've ever had the honor of working with. they'll get your son back
that was a grandfather clock and a fishbowl. and the grandfather clock was 10 minutes fast
that's Spico. he's the crazy one

 
by mandingo, 1-15-07

Showing page 13.

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