All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-07-17
Ok...but only if you're sure!
Do it Maura, pull my finger.
*QUEEEEEEF*
What the.....?
Sorry boss! It just happens.
Nonsense! Admit it, woman. You've mastered rectal telekenisis

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-08-17
Atomic Lunch has made a set of comics with ME in them.
I SHOULD be flattered...but I'm not! Why, you may ask? It's simple.
I'm too dense to get the joke.
If THAT ain't old news I don't know what is!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-09-17
I'll call you "Elliot Alderson"!
How bout..."Mr. Robot"?
That's Tobor spelled backwards...isn't it, Elliot?
Please tell me you made me brighter and more interesting than YOU!
No chance of THAT. They're gonna make a TV show around you.
A TV show, huh? In that case then you had better dumb me way, waaaaay down!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-09-17
Toomey, our sex life is D-U-L-L!
WHAT? You'd think nine inches of hard cock every night would be enough for any woman.
Nine inches? You'd have to do me 3 time to give me THAT! Anyway, size ain't everything!
Fine...then I'll just go get me a bar-room slut!
How much to let old Toomey do a little Muff Diving, honey?
If you eat pussy as well as your wife does, it's FREE!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-10-17
Ya gotta let me leave.
Why?
Cuz I'm gonna make Rock n Roll history with my new album.
I sincerely doubt THAT! What's it called?
"Bat Outta Hell"...what else?
Catchy! Ya better get going & don't let your meat loaf!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-11-17
What are YOU?
I'm a Grand Dragon! You?
I'm a Great White!
Trade ya names!
No way, loser. Lizards SUCK!
Oh yeah? Then I'll just be a Great "off" White, you a-hole!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-11-17
There's bad news & then there's badder news.
Bad news?
Michael Parks died.
Who?
The guy from "TUSK"!
Come back. It wasn't THAT bad!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-12-17
You're done for as a Pro. Washed up! Finished. Your 50 million dollar contract is UP!
So what am I gunna do now?
I guess you can always go back to selling pot to 10 year old street urchins.
You're right. I COULD, except....
Except what?
...except then I gotta find a way to hide all that extra cash I'll be makin.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-13-17
Chen hired on the spot at "T.D.F.C." ......
So what are my duties here?
Uh...like...the boss wants ya should help the other members to hone their...uh...skillls!
What "skills" might those be?
Here comes the boss now. I'm sure he'll show you.
Shortly after the demonstration.....
So "T.D.F.C." stands for Tyler Durden's Fight Club, eh?
Yeah but, I told ya NOT to talk about it. Now I gotta kick yer ass... AGAIN!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-14-17
I learned all my directing techniques from David Lynch!
Who?
David Lynch! "Lost Highway", "Eraserhead", Wild at Heart", "Blue Velvet"....
"Blue Velvet", eh? I'll drink to THAT. How's about a nice ice cold "Heineken"?
"HEINEKEN"? Fuck THAT! Gimme a "Pabst Blue Ribbon".
Hey Maude....bring in some brewskis & que up some Bobby Vinton on the Victrola!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-15-17
I'd like to to apply for the "Principal" job at the grade school, Mr. Sanderson.
You seem perfect. Maybe I'll just give you a shot at it.
How can I ever thank you?
The next day......
Hello kids! I'm your new Principal.
I'll bet he sucked off the "Superintendant".

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-16-17
Offices of Pfizer Pharmaceuticals:
We need some new music for our "Viagra" TV spots. Any suggestions?
I say it's a no-brainer boss. Go with "Three Dog Night".
Well, they do fit the age group demo we're going after. What tune should we use?
That, too, is a no-brainer boss.
Humor me, boy! Not all of us have your rapid fire intellect. "Joy to the World", maybe?
No way, sir! My choice is..."Easy to Be Hard"! Like I said, a no-brainer.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-17-17
Listen Martha, I've had it with that punk kid you bore me.
Don't be silly George. You loved him when he was a cute little baby. He's still the same boy. Nothing has changed.
Are you crazy? The last thing I see when looking at him is a "cute baby"!
Here comes our lil "Gerber Baby" now. Tell daddy you wuv him!
Fuck THAT! Why does MY dad gotta be a friggin Ward Cleaver, lookin doofus? I hate you AND your cardigan!
Maybe it's because we named him Beaver!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-18-17
Just before ragu4u gets the "chair"....
Is it time, Warden?
Yes it is, so follow me!
....................................................................
I'm so nervous!
You should be! This has been a long time coming.
...which he ordered from Sweden!
Finally! I was so sick of that cheap, 3 legged, IKEA stool!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-19-17
The "Ghost-buster" guys got our kitchen loaded with microphones!
Those IDIOTS! Don't they know we're down HERE? No wonder their show is getting canceled!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-19-17
Hey d_bacon, get somebody in here who can give me a hand moving this clock.
OK...I'll be right back.
That went way too smoothly!
Where the hell is d_bacon with my helper?
The little pink fat guy said you could use a hand!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-20-17
Why am I here, Ossifer?
Says here..."Lewd Conduct". You know what you did!
No I don't...honestly!
What exactly were you doing to that man in his car?
Later, at Lucy's house.......
Lucy? You're out already? What happened?
I demonstrated to the jailer my technique to get "johns" to "nut" quickly. Then I left when he lit up a smoke & layed down for a nap!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-21-17
Why the hell is THAT monstrosity behind you?
It's for your birthday, but let's not talk about it!
Why am I NEVER considered conversation worthy?
So is it like some kinda "Fight Club" thing?
If it we're, I'd be forced to kick your sorry ass right about now!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-21-17
Don't you ever knock?
Then I'd never be able to catch you watching porn. hehehe
Later, after feeling very guilty......
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Today before Mass I was caught looking at por...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got the text from your low- life, snitch of a room-mate. However, I don't think watching the "How It's Made" folks tour an "abattoir" is PORN!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-22-17
Hmm...lots of religion dissing comics on Stripcreator.com today.
Hey d_bacon...you got any funny ideas for comics about relgious stuff?
Alright fella...you're thoroughly covered in Mazzola Oil. What now?
OK Sister Bambi, now you can get naked and chase me around with your riding crop!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-22-17
You know, it's not easy being hated all the time!
I'm always the target for every Tom & Harry, Dick!
Oops...well you know what I meant! People look for any reason to beat me down.
In fact there is no one, and I mean NO ONE, who has been...
...more battered and beaten up than ME!
Ahem....

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-22-17
14 Followers, huh?
I wonder how many he had when he stopped being that "other" guy?
You know....that "almost funny" guy!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-23-17
Manchester, England May 22, 2017
I say there Poopsie, where are you and the kids off to this evening?
I'm taking them to the Ariana Grande concert tonight, Jon, so we won't be home till late!
My word...it's after 1am. I fear something's afoot!
...and it appears they all died instantly as the nails flew every...
Stop right there Constable! The bottom line is.....I'm single again and in line for some huge insurance pay-outs. Correct? Time to update "Facebook"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-24-17
Why would YOU wanna have sex with MY husband?
He just turns me on. I'll bet he's got a monster cock, too. Right?
HA! No way. In fact, he has the word "Swan" tattooed on his dick but there was hardly enough room! Go ahead and ball him...you'll see!
Don't mind if I do!
Days later, after the coital encounter....
Exactly like I said, wasn't it?
Not quite. The tattooed word was "Saskatchewan"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-25-17
Ok young lady, now spit in the cup and then rinse thoroughly with the mouthwash provided.
My mouth always feels so fresh & clean when I leave here. Thanks so much. See you next time.
Take care...and don't forget to brush & floss!
Here for your daily deposit, are you? I'll give you a cup to spit in.
They are always so polite at this Sperm Bank!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-26-17
Well "Juice", today's the big day!
I'm getting OUT?
NO! But we're showing the Yiddish version of "Naked Gun" tonight.
Great. I'll autograph the DVD. You can send it to the Goldman family!
Always thinking of others, aren't ya O.J.?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-26-17
You parked illegally AGAIN!
I assume you're giving me another ticket?
Another one for the pile...
I wouldn't go lighting a match in there, fella!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-27-17
Whad'ya mean, callin me a "Filthy-Floozy"?
Yo, Jenkens get in here and clean up this skank!
Ahhh... stop...it burns!
There! That oughta do it, Nurse!
Thanks lady. She was beginning to make me itch!
My pleasure! The Vet will see you now!

 
by Makin_d_bacon, 5-27-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-27-17
This'll be your cell & your cell mate will be....
Stop right there. I don't care who he is or how bad he is. I'm Big Evil Dan & I can hold my own with ANYBODY!
You sure about that? He's got quite a history!
The bigger & badder they are, the harder they fall!
But only hours later.....
I say there laddy, where's that Danny Boy? The pipes, the pipes. they're callin!
You beat your own record. He begged for the loony bin right after your tenth verse of "Amazing Grace"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-28-17
Is that ragu4u and makin_d_bacon in the pew over there, Father?
Why yes it is, Sister. How do you know them?
Let's just say...our paths crossed while I was thinking of joining the convent.
Ah yes...the good Sisters of "Our Lady of Perpetual Motion"!
Uh, so me and my porky pink friend wanna know why a nice girl like you is working in a Strip Club like THIS?
Truth be told...I'm thinking of becoming a Nun!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-29-17
On This Memorial Day
My stubby pink friend & I are here today to honor those...
...men & women who were selfless in their...
...fervor, love of country, patriotism...
...and bravery!
As fellow Americans, we should revere them, one & all, for their....their... well ya know...their...aw SHIT, you tell em, d_bacon!
I would rags, but I forgot too!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-30-17
Look here, you inner city kids need to learn about farming!
Why dat be fo?
I guess so you can learn to make things GROW instead of KILLING things!
Ain't no fun in at shit!
Now take that seed of corn, bend over and place it in the hole in the ground.
Sheeeee-it! Dis be jus like da big city. We knows all bout dat "corn-hole" bidness. You ain't gettin ME to bend over!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-30-17
Very odd, isn't it?
VERY! We must report our findings!
So...you found the source? Well...why didn't you bring any back?
They were totally unsuitable Captain! They were covered in....HAIR!
So why aren't we bringing any back with us?
Are you serious? Do you really think the Capt. could convert a 7-10 split with one of these hairy bastards?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-31-17
Whew...I hope this is far enough!
Not on yer life, pal!
Shit! He found me!
I want my comics reinstated...pronto, mister!
When hell freezes over, sauce boy!
Go ahead...RUN! I know right where Uranus is!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
5-31-17
Yes, we can hide you here Brad, but it'll cost you!
Money is no object. I must get away from this moron.
Of whom do you speak?
He currently calls himself makin_d_bacon but he's REALLY rag...
Stop right there! You must leave, for ragu4u is our GOD!
OK...OK! I should have guessed that those who live on Uranus would worship an ass-hole!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-01-17
So ragu4u, what do we have here?
Here, d_bacon, I have the back-up copies of my comics.
Hard to believe...so many "funny comics" all in one place!
Oh... so you wanna see the REALLY funny ones? Then let's go next door!
If I make any, they'll go HERE!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-01-17
Which Detective caught this case?
The only one who EVER solves any case...Vishram!
The Butler did it! Next case!
You are AWESOME!
What did I tell ya? Freakin unbelievable, huh?
No wonder everybody says ..."Call the Sihk, and he shall find!"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-02-17
So you REALLY think global warming is a lie?
Why would I NOT?
Because we're in Helsinki, Finland and it's almost 180 degrees Fahrenheit!
And your point is.....?
But you must admit Mr. Trump, you WERE in Finland when our man interviewed you and it t WAS almost 180 degrees F!
We were in a Finnish Spa, numb-nuts. What do you expect?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-02-17
Yeah...he and I still share an Apartment. So?
This is just killing your mother! The neighbors are beginning to talk!
But Ma...it's not like we're GAY or anything.
You just don't get it. PERCEPTION is everything!
So how were your parents?
Their Pastor told them you used to live with Gilbert Baker. What do YOU think?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-02-17
Hey there, Uncle Screw-tape!
What up, Worm-wood?
What the heck are you talking about in those stupid letters you wrote me?
Well...look at them as a kind of a handbook for success.
Success, huh? Who filled YOUR head with all that bullshit?
Some do-gooder from Narnia called C.S. Lewis, I think!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-03-17
Welcome to "Dunkin Donut"!
Is it true you give away free donuts on "National Donut Day"?
Why do you ask THAT?
Cause today IS "National Donut Day"!
Uh uh...that was the other day. You missed out.
I'm cursed, I tell ya. CURSED!!!!!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-03-17
Why do pro ball players all go around squeezing their sacks on camera?
Ya know that practice is totally acceptable and even expected in some cultures.
Hardly ! It's an ugly, blatant & disgusting display of men readjusting themselves to abuse women's sesitivities!
I'll bet ya $1000 I can prove you to be wrong and that "sack squeezing" is actually vital in order to get optimal performance in certain jobs.
The Very Next Day.....
What did she say?
She wonders if you'll take a check?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-04-17
What? No comics today?
You know it's Sunday. You know what I ritually do on Sunday?
Yeah but I didn't think you were a fanatic about it.
There's lots you don't know about ME!
I guess Church attendance is just one of them!
Church? Who said anything about CHURCH? Today is Laundry Day!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-05-17
I saw it again!
Why do you do that to yourself?
It's a yearly ritual, THAT'S why!
Just go home and forget about me!
Oh crap! I'll bet rags is bawling at the pet cemetary right now!
We'll return to the "Old Yeller" marathon after these messages...

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-06-17
At home with ragu4u & makin_d bacon
I figured out why you never "score" with women!
This oughta be good! OK, Cassanova, lay it on me!
Your "Snood" is lacking!
My WHAT is WHICH?
Don't look at me like THAT. I use the internet for things other than PORN ya know!
I never thought having both the internet AND "Animal Planet" would cause insanity.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-06-17
"Lay me down and softly whisper pretty love words in my ear...."
"Lay me down and tell me all the things that a woman wants to hear..."
*UGH*
There ya go, faggot! You want it? You GOT it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-06-17
...and I'm stickin to it!
Man, do I HATE being audited!
...and you STILL say the 6 million dollars hid in that trunk in your garage is the money you found while walking your dog over the years?
Yup!
I don't get it. I've walked my dog that exact same way since you got here 10 years ago and found ZILCH!
I swear Guard Dave, I'd find at $500 every time he'd pee!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-07-17
Nice ass, bitch!
Quality jugs, too!
Timmy...I told you never to talk dirty to me like that...
...until we're alone in the coat room and you're going down on me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-08-17
Hey ragu4u...guess what?
Don't tell me, d_bacon, that we've lost yet ANOTHER comic contest!
Ya sure know how to quash a conversation...don't ya, sauce boy?

Showing page 14.

« Previous Next »